Stay at home mom depression is real!

I have a questionnaire for all those depressed because I suspect the real culprit is lack of planning.
I can have sympathy for people who owe medical bills because of a disease that isn't lifestyle related because that is out of their control. People whining about having brats and that it is expensive, tiresome, etc. when it was a choice, no sympathy.

1. There are millions of articles, chat rooms, confessions where mahms talk about how difficult staying at home with brats is, did you do any research prior to sluicing? How terrible/awful it is to get no sleep with an infant, did you research? If so, did you plan accordingly? Take birth control and make sure you resolved all the possible issues prior to sluicing? Or did you just plow in head first and not exercise any impulse control?

2. If you did research did you determine that having a certain amount of savings set aside prior to sluicing makes sense so you can pay a babysitter/daycare makes sense? If so, did you set aside money? Did you account for the unexpected/unpredictable in your savings?

3. If you didn't save any money for daycare/bratsitting have you ever saved money for past events-such as weddings, vacations, emergency fund, cars, etc?

4. If you have saved money (ever for anything) why did you think a huge event such as having a baybee wouldn't require any planning or setting money aside? (see calledge for kids in six figure estimates, see cost of raizing brats in six figure estimates)

5. If you have never saved money for anything in your life what makes you think you have the maturity to have one baybee-let alone more? A new life deserves mature parents, no?

I don't know what to say to these freaks. I knew how to save money by the time I was in elementary school as it was expected for me to budget by the time I was six years old. Perhaps everything was always handed to them (bad parunting begets bad parunting)?

https://www.glamour.com/story/stay-at-home-mom-depression-is-realand-women-are-finally-talking-about-it

Makes sense. A lot of people get depressed when they are stuck at home and want to go out, a.k.a. cabin fever, and paired with breeding-exclusive depression (PPD), I can't say I'm surprised that someone would be depressed being imprisoned with a creature they most likely regret making.

Women often don't do any homework on what to expect regarding brat care for any number of reasons. Like they think their baby will be different and will be a perfect angel that sleeps every night and doesn't cry simply because it's their baby, a.k.a. It's Different When It's Your Own. Or they worry if they read too many bad things about motherhood, they'll regret it at a point when it's too late to abort, kinda like the lady in Kindergarten Cop who said she had to quit teaching because she worried that being around other people's kids would make her not want any of her own. Or they just don't care, or they totally underestimate the workload of raising a brat.

But a lot of people do this with a lot of things - they decide they want something, they don't learn anything about this thing they want (exotic pet, supercar, starting a business, buying a house, etc.), and they figure they'll just pick up what they need to know as they go. Then when they get the thing they wanted, they get frustrated when they realize it involves hard work and costs a ton of money to upkeep. But the thing with those objects/animals I mentioned is if you realize it's too much work to take care of the items in question, you can easily sell them or give them away and move on with your life and consider it a lesson learned. Can't really do that when you're elbow-deep in baby shit and realize a week in that you made a huge mistake. I mean, you can sell or rehome a child, but your whole family and all your friends will probably disown you and guilt trip you for it.

The article sounds like it's describing depression, and it's not a problem exclusive to SAHMs. This story makes it sound like mommies are the only people who get depressed (like how they're the only people who get tired too, right? ). If the dumb bitch who wrote the article is that depressed having spent a third of her life as a voluntary domestic slave, why the fuck did she have five kids?? Like did she not learn a lesson after the first one? It's like getting stabbed, and once the wound heals, you stab yourself again on purpose because you wonder if it'll be different the second time and then act surprised when it's not.

Still, I'm glad to see the article was written because it's good that there is more public awareness that having kids sucks and will cause you to develop a mental illness because it sucks so bad. I know a lot of women are stupid and won't do a lick of research when they decide to keep their sperm infections, but I hope articles like this will make some women realize that they are basically signing up for depression by sluicing a brat and to either prevent them from getting conceived or disposing of them via abortion or adoption. This can be bad if the women in question have pre-existing depression or other mental disorders too. It's a good way to wind up with a baby that "accidentally" dies of SIDS and gets stored in the freezer for ten years.

And this is why I detest all the government handouts for daycare ON TOP of the income tax breaks these breeding idiots already get. “Daycare is sooooo expeeeenssssive! It costs more than I make!” So why the fuck is this MY problem that I’m forced to subsidize?? While these breeders are getting big fat income tax refunds, I had to cough up YET AGAIN extra money this year to the tune of $1400!

AND if climate change is as awful as many say, WHY is the US government essentially encouraging reproduction? I’m not a climate change denier, but this kind of hypocrisy drives me batshit insane.

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Shauna's like a gluten-free Jim Jones for dumb, lifeless middle-aged women. I swear, this bitch could set fire to a orphanage and they would applaud her for bringing them light. ~ Miss Hannigan

Yeah. I suffer with depression due to PTSD. I also have crippling anxiety. NOT because I had a kid (a lifestyle choice) but because I was a victim of a violent crime. Something that obviously was NOT my choice, since I was just a little kid.

Depression is a fucking awful thing to go through and add severe generalized anxiety on to it, and it's a recipe for a shitty life. BUT I don't exactly think that what I go through is any worse or better than what other people go through. I can't compare my situation to others, so it's pointless to try. I do know that if I would've added a kid into my life, I probably wouldn't be alive today.

Moos seem to think they have it so much worse than anyone else, even though they fucking CHOSE it. They just want sympathy for what they're going through, but I'm tired of hearing about how much worse they have it because of their decision to make kids.

There's the internet and other shit full of valuable information on the hardships of parenthood. I know there are a lot of happy looking, contented moos holding infants and it all looks so peaceful and wonderful, but that's not the reality. Those are commercials using ACTORS. It's like they want to believe that the acting on TV commercials or the fake Fakebook posts are actually real, and they want to ignore anything that doesn't suit their desire, like anonymous women confessing in a forum who have nothing to lose by telling the truth.

I will be 60 this year, so the internet wasn't really a thing until I was in my early 30's.

I looked to my family for examples. There were a few "maiden aunts" in my family (NMNK) but they lived in other states. One died when I was very young, but my mother used to tell us about her glamorous life as a single woman. She owned a dress shop in a resort town and her "off season" job was being the social director on a cruise ship. She was a stylist woman. My mom used to tell me she knew when this aunt was coming to her house because her steamer trunks would arrive a few days before.

Another one was a sour old biddy that I maybe saw twice in my life, but I remember hearing her say that she weighed the same, 125 pounds, her entire adult life. Even at seven years old I knew why she was able to do that. The thought of having a body that stayed the same without loafing was attractive.

And then there are the economic realities of staying home with brats. After seeing what happened to my mother (widowed very young with a high school education) I knew I always wanted to work. I wanted my own money. The thought of being economically dependent upon another person is just ICKY. Haven't we all seen women who are in bad marriages and they have to appease their Lord and Master due to brats or finances? Who says you have to die to go to Hell? Sounds pretty Hellish to me.

tldr: Of course it is depressing--anyone with eyes can see that. SAHMs aren't bringing in income; they are often viewed as subordinate partners by their husbands; runt care and homecare are boring drudgery. And it's a choice. Everyone is entitled to whine a little bit, even about chosen life decisions, but if someone is whining 24/7 (and the proliferation of Mommy Regret websites sure make it seem so) it's not a lifestyle problem, it's a planning and research problem!

The fact that parents of both genders say they'd rather go to work than be with their kids tells me everything I need to know. Not because of the money making aspect, but because it gets them the hell away from the kids they wanted. Most people hate their jobs, or at least dislike them, so when that is the more favorable option of the two, I'm thinking there's no magical experience to SAHMing after all.

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mumofsixbirds
Yeah. I suffer with depression due to PTSD. I also have crippling anxiety. NOT because I had a kid (a lifestyle choice) but because I was a victim of a violent crime. Something that obviously was NOT my choice, since I was just a little kid.

Like you, I am disabled due to a situation not of my choice. I was born with autism, and came down with schizophrenia and bipolar disorder when I was 20 years old. My issues were bleeding obvious to the SSD-SSI doctors.

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Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!

and yet crazy they can sometimes still see the evidence and deny a claim. all a freaking game

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

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Cambion
But a lot of people do this with a lot of things - they decide they want something, they don't learn anything about this thing they want (exotic pet, supercar, starting a business, buying a house, etc.), and they figure they'll just pick up what they need to know as they go. Then when they get the thing they wanted, they get frustrated when they realize it involves hard work and costs a ton of money to upkeep. But the thing with those objects/animals I mentioned is if you realize it's too much work to take care of the items in question, you can easily sell them or give them away and move on with your life and consider it a lesson learned. Can't really do that when you're elbow-deep in baby shit and realize a week in that you made a huge mistake. I mean, you can sell or rehome a child, but your whole family and all your friends will probably disown you and guilt trip you for it.

I made similar mistakes with college and career. I can’t easily move on with my life because of the economy and other circumstances similar to yours and ladybug’s, but at least I don’t have to put on a happy face or do a bunch of cunt work for kids while regretting and trying to move forward.

I am unable to work. The reason for my disability isn't my 'fault', but it has permanent effects on my ability to live. What I did not do was complicate my situation by adding children.

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Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!