From AITA: Stop helping homeless dogs so you can watch my brats!
Posted by Cambion
Moo with four sproggen asks if she's the asshole for demanding her CF sister stop fostering frail dogs that can't be around brats so she can brat-sit. Surprisingly, Moo was declared the asshole.
Apparently Duh can't help because he's in therapy and on anti-depressants. Oh but she will have you all know that he is NOT a deadbeat dad and she doesn't just pop out kids she can't handle and they are both totally responsible adults.
But she asked her sister to stop helping animals because in Moo's mind, her baybees will always come before a dog. Well that's great, but those baybees are HER baybees, NOT her sister's baybees. The CF sister has no obligation to these brats at all and it's not her problem if Moo can't afford a sitter and won't make Duh watch his own damn kids.
https://old.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/tyxvsx/aita_for_asking_my_sister_to_stop_fostering_dogs/
Apparently Duh can't help because he's in therapy and on anti-depressants. Oh but she will have you all know that he is NOT a deadbeat dad and she doesn't just pop out kids she can't handle and they are both totally responsible adults.
But she asked her sister to stop helping animals because in Moo's mind, her baybees will always come before a dog. Well that's great, but those baybees are HER baybees, NOT her sister's baybees. The CF sister has no obligation to these brats at all and it's not her problem if Moo can't afford a sitter and won't make Duh watch his own damn kids.https://old.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/tyxvsx/aita_for_asking_my_sister_to_stop_fostering_dogs/
Quote
MOOOOOOO
Okay just writing the title like that made me feel super guilty, but please hear me out before judging too harshly.
I (38 F) have 4 kids ages 11 months, 3, 5, and 10. I love them all more than anything, but I’ll be the first to admit that our house is constant chaos and it can get very exhausting. My sister (33F) is child free, but loves my kids and was happy to watch the older 2 or sometimes 3 to help me keep my sanity. This has been extremely helpful and I tell her all the time how grateful we are for her help.
The thing is that the kids used to go over to her house, but right now they couldn’t because my sister was fostering an elderly chihuahua. My sister claims she couldn’t have them over for the time being because they would stress out the dog. Her dog was extremely frail and timid so I think this was a fair assessment. This was the 4th dog she has fostered, all of which couldn’t be around my kids. This most recent dog took 8 months to find a home for, but most of her other dogs took even longer. When she told me she found an adopter I knew I could finally breathe a sigh of relief and joked about how I was so glad she could babysit again.
My sister proceeded to tell me that there was a second dog that desperately needed a new foster, so she planned to take in that one as soon as her current dog was gone. So, she couldn’t do anymore babysitting than she already is (sometimes she comes over to my house in the morning to help out). I could literally feel my stress levels spike. I haven’t ever done this before, but I opened up to her about how much I have been struggling since she got the dog. How little sleep I get each night, how my husband hasn’t been helping as much as he should, and some other deeply personal issues that I’ve been struggling with. Then I asked her, point blank, to not get another dog.
She comforted me, but ultimately didn’t agree on anything and said she needed some time to think. I know I am asking a lot of her since rescuing dogs is her passion and that is why I feel so guilty. But I don’t have anyone else to help me. I can’t afford a babysitter long term, and my friends all have their own kids to look after. Above all, my kids will always come before a dog and that’s the reason I was willing to request it. I’ve told a few different people about the situation and gotten a wide range of heavily biased opinions. So that’s why I decided to come on here and as you guys. Was this unreasonable? I would never demand her to do this if she didn’t want to, but is it really so wrong to just be honest my situation and earnestly ask?
Edit: I am grateful for the honesty from people respectfully telling me that what I did was wrong. However I have also read a lot of horrible assumptions from people as well and I’d like to clear them up. I am not some careless mother who just keeps “popping out children” that I can’t take care of. My husband is not a deadbeat dad. After our youngest was born he got severe depression. He isn’t out having fun while I’m working 24/7, he is miserable. I went to my sister instead of him for help because I don’t want to lose him. I love my kids and I have always made every one of my decisions with what I believe are their best interests in mind. And no I don’t think my sister is obligated to do anything for me, I was asking for help not demanding it.
Edit 2: Insulting my husband doesn’t help anyone. Yes he is in therapy and is on antidepressants. Anyone who has actually dealt with depression would know that that isn’t an instant cure all. Still my husband does the very best he can. I asked my sister because I needed more help than he can provide right now.
If the sister wanted to be helpful and petty, she could call CPS on the dumbshit author. Between a mother who is so, so terribly overwhemled and a father that is so mentally ill that he cannot be a fit parent, it sounds like those kids might have to be removed because neither of their parents seems capable of properly handling them. Moo won't come a-knockin' at Sissy's door if there are no kids that need watching! Even if the kids don't get taken away, which I'm sure they wouldn't, hopefully the act of contacting CPS would leave a bitter enough taste in the Moo's mouth to find some other sap to dump her brats on.
People like to think that CF people are just sitting around twiddling their thumbs and have time to spare, and when that CF person is also a relative, aw well shit, the childed family members practically own that person's time! The sister is allowed to do with her time and home whatever she pleases. Moo should have thought about the hardships of raising four human beings before creating them and that is entirely a "her" problem and not a "her sister" problem.
People like to think that CF people are just sitting around twiddling their thumbs and have time to spare, and when that CF person is also a relative, aw well shit, the childed family members practically own that person's time!
The sister is allowed to do with her time and home whatever she pleases. Moo should have thought about the hardships of raising four human beings before creating them and that is entirely a "her" problem and not a "her sister" problem.Sorry, only registered users may post in this forum.