Everybody should be invited

https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/dad-cursed-sons-teacher-tried-222418856.html

I can see why this parent flipped out on the teacher for demanding that he host the entire class at his house for his kid's B-day

The dad was missing contact info for some of the son's guests, so he gave the son a few envelopes with notes asking the kids' parents to call them. Making a 6-year-old hand these out at school was slightly inappropriate, but the teacher seriously overstepped her boundaries by calling the house with such an unreasonable demand.

I'd guess the teacher has a brat (or two) at home that are excluded from invites to parties from the kids in their class. Or perhaps she has a young brat who is atypical in some way and is worried about the brat being excluded when it reaches school age. Another possibility is she is just young, naive and has some kind of post-college SJW idealistic obsession about "equality for all". Whatever the reason, she sounds like she is on a crusade to make everything "equal" (when it never will be) and I bet she is annoying like this all the time.

I've got news for her: most brats will be excluded from time to time, some will be excluded often and some will be excluded most of the time. It is part of life so they need to learn to deal with it.

There were kids I didn't interact with because they had an overbearing parunt that lives for stirring up drama.
And parunts are the ultimate teachers to their brats so if a brat sees mahm flip out if something doesn't go her way the brat is likely to repeat this same behavior.

I always hated that rule, even when I was still a kid myself. When it came to cupcakes, valentines, invitations - either everyone received one or nobody received one, meaning you would wind up inviting the class bully to your party because we can't have anyone's fee-fees getting owwied, right??

But this is an activity planned outside of school hours and off school property, so school rules don't really apply. The guy and his kid can invite whomever they want to the party. Kids need to get used to rejection because not everyone wants them around - hell, a vast majority of the time, their own parents don't want them around. Not everyone will like them, that's just how it is. Should this kid just not have a birthday party because he's not allowed to choose which of his peers can join him to celebrate? All-or-nothing doesn't really apply to real world gatherings - if the dad wants to invite the whole damn class, fine, that's his choice. Maybe he just doesn't want 20 children in his home? That's perfectly understandable too.

I'm sure not wanting to invite the whole class wasn't done to be mean - some of the kids might be assholes, some might be tards or just badly behaved, and the birthday boy might just feel lukewarm toward some of them and doesn't want to celebrate with them because they're just not friends. These are all perfectly good reasons to not invite anyone of any age to your special day. The teacher can eat a bag of dicks in this case.

You know how a teacher will say "I hope you brought enough for everyone" that sounds like the rule is being applied here.

"Enough for the girls"

My Mom would take me and one friend somewhere to an outing, and outside that friend I kept this outing a secret.

My parents were low income, and I was autistic, so I had all the sensory issues that come with that. That is why we did this, not because of class feelings or anything else.

+++++++++++++

Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!

Quote
Cambion
I always hated that rule, even when I was still a kid myself. When it came to cupcakes, valentines, invitations - either everyone received one or nobody received one, meaning you would wind up inviting the class bully to your party because we can't have anyone's fee-fees getting owwied, right??

Valentines or cupcakes become the central activity in the classroom when they're given out, so that rule is fair. Making excluded kids sit through the whole class period watching the included ones enjoy the experience is cruel and very different from ordinary social rejection. We were still allowed to favor closer friends by giving them better valentines or treats than the rest.

There's no good reason to give invitations in class, especially when most families have Internet access. I hated being pushed to give invitations in school, especially when I already knew their information or could find it in the directory. I often gave them a lot later than I wrote them as a futile effort to be discreet.

Quote
misskitty

Valentines or cupcakes become the central activity in the classroom when they're given out, so that rule is fair. Making excluded kids sit through the whole class period watching the included ones enjoy the experience is cruel and very different from ordinary social rejection. We were still allowed to favor closer friends by giving them better valentines or treats than the rest.

There's no good reason to give invitations in class, especially when most families have Internet access. I hated being pushed to give invitations in school, especially when I already knew their information or could find it in the directory. I often gave them a lot later than I wrote them as a futile effort to be discreet.

I agree, during class everyone should have the option to participate and receive a treat. Issues such as bringing enough for everyone in the class shouldn't become a thing. And it is always in poor taste to invite others/discuss a party in front of anyone not invited.

Brats are very likely to do it anyways because most couldn't be discreet under any circumstances. And what can't be stopped are brats mouthing off about attending an upcoming party or talking about a party they recently attended. I can understand feeling bad for the kids that overhear this that consider themselves friends with the birthday kid who weren't invited. And with social media, the uninvited friends are likely to see photos of the party people having lots of fun. Ouch.

The same thing can happen with brats in the same neighborhood, same activities, etc.

I'm really glad I don't have to deal with this endless drama of butthurt feelings and sore feelings from anyone who feels excluded.

This kind of crap made me glad my birthday was in the summer, so I didn't have to bring in treats for the whole class, which included at least a few people who I would sooner strangle if I knew I could get away with it. Although I do remember one way I sort of got around this rule - on Valentine's Day, I gave the students I didn't like or didn't care about the cheap crappy valentines and my actual friends got the nice valentines. They had no idea, but I did.

I mean I get why these rules exist in schools - because if someone brings in cookies or whatever for their birthday and only hands them out to some classmates, the ones who get nothing will throw tantrums and then they'll go home and cry to Mommy and then she'll stomp in the room and scream at the teacher for allowing "discrimination" to occur, and you know they'll make it a race issue if the child who provided the treats has skin that's a different color than one of the kids who got nothing. Then Moo will involve the school board, the media, social media, and will run a whole smear campaign on the teacher and the school because they allowed a kid to decide who does and does not get a treat. It's probably more to prevent headaches for the staff than it is for the students' benefit.

But this event is taking place outside of the school, so school rules do not fucking matter. Like if two classmates get into a fight outside of school grounds, they can't get detention for it because it did not occur in school. Frankly, I think the birthday boy/girl would have to really hate their classmates' guts to not invite them because that is one less present to open and most kids would be willing to put up with a big jerk if it meant getting more toys. So if this kid cherry picked who got to attend from class, there was probably a good reason for it.

Quote
freya
I'm really glad I don't have to deal with this endless drama of butthurt feelings and sore feelings from anyone who feels excluded.

Same here. So much dumb trivial shit that gets turned into a fucking national emergency when you're a parent and it's nice to just sit back and watch it unfold, knowing it will never happen to me.

Some of my teachers allowed NO children to bring treats from home. Mrs. Stone was absolutely rabid about being anti-sugar. She didn't even allow her students to bring sweets from home. In a way, she was ahead of her time.

+++++++++++++

Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!

Imposing your dietary preferences on other people is kind of like imposing your religion or politics on others. When I was growing up it was considered normal for kids to have a sugary dessert with lunch, now I hear at least some schools won't allow it. I don't know, but it seems to me they are overstepping their boundaries.

Quote
ondinette
Imposing your dietary preferences on other people is kind of like imposing your religion or politics on others. When I was growing up it was considered normal for kids to have a sugary dessert with lunch, now I hear at least some schools won't allow it. I don't know, but it seems to me they are overstepping their boundaries.

I have fond memories of those sugary snacks, which is great because now I eat sugar a few times a year. When I was a kid (70s-80s) most kids were thin and active, perhaps the reason sugar is now discouraged is because so many kids are overweight? Then again, if kids eat sugar all the time at home as a habit then a sugary dessert with lunch isn't going to make that much of a difference.