Just in time for Moother's Day: Women share their reasons for reproductive regret

Nice change of pace, and as always, I'm thrilled to see stuff like this come into the spotlight. If this kind of thing can make someone reconsider their decision to have kids and realize it's not for them after all, then that is fantastic. Life is much too short to spend it raising a miniature asshole you never wanted to begin with.

https://www.boredpanda.com/parents-regret-having-children/

It's a mixed bag of answers. Of course almost all of them say the typical, "I luuuuuuuurve my child, but I wish they were never born" bullshit, because as we all know, children are the only thing you can regret and somehow also love. But the reasons for regret are things like getting saddled with tards, breeding too young, breeding with the wrong people, getting pressured into breeding, nobody telling them how hard it would really be, not liking being a parent, having kids before sorting out your own childhood traumas, reproducing with physical or mental disabilities and bitching about how much harder life is with a brat now (especially when the brat inherits the same health problems), and just the plain and simple loss of time, spontaneity and identity after birthing totally normal kids.

I'm wondering if the only reason some people like their kids is because their kids have their DNA and look just like them-which they love if for no other reason than narcissism. They certainly can't pick the personalities of their brats and even two great people could end up with a brat they despise-which they regret. I'd guess that if their brats act exactly as they hoped when they were fantasizing about having them then they would like them just fine. But not every moment can be a hallmark card one.

I'm beginning to suspect those with regret and love, admit to loving their brats only because they see their same DNA and social norms (the same ones that demanded they reproduce) dictate they claim to love them regardless of their true feelings.

It might explain why some people claim to want brats but when it isn't probable or possible they have no interest in adoption.

The first reply is from a mahm who regrets her seven year old because she sees a bad future for humanity. Not quite understanding how she could have a kid in the first place...has her opinion on the world changed radically in the last eight years? If it can change that much in such a short period of time then it can change again.

Then someone else replies "life is very difficult for most people" why breed if they feel this way?

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freya
I'm wondering if the only reason some people like their kids is because their kids have their DNA and look just like them-which they love if for no other reason than narcissism. They certainly can't pick the personalities of their brats and even two great people could end up with a brat they despise-which they regret. I'd guess that if their brats act exactly as they hoped when they were fantasizing about having them then they would like them just fine. But not every moment can be a hallmark card one.

That's probably got something to do with it, like how someone will value almost anything they make or buy over something someone else makes simply because they made/bought it. Like if you enter an art contest, you think your piece is the best and should win just because it's yours and everyone else's work sucks because it's not yours.

I still feel like the whole "I regret having a kid, but I love them" is just something parents feel like they have to say, like a disclaimer, so people don't think ill of them. I can't think of any other thing in this world that you can both love and regret. If you get a bad haircut that you chose, you regret it and do not love it. If you buy a piece of shit car that has to be in the shop every other week, you don't love it - you regret getting it. If you buy a house that you find out has shitloads of problems like mold and termites and squatters, you don't love it - you regret it. Love and regret are oil and water, and no matter what these breeders say, you cannot love a child you regret. You just can't. If you love your child, you don't regret them. If you regret your child, you don't love them. And I think that's okay to do, just don't say it to your kids because telling your kids to their faces you don't love them and wish they were never born is a great way to fuck them up for life.

I think the afterthough 'but I still luuuuuv...' is bull shit. because if they didn't add that, all the other sanctimonious brood sows would start squealing and bowing their tops.

truth is, they don't luv them at all.

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

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Cambion
I still feel like the whole "I regret having a kid, but I love them" is just something parents feel like they have to say, like a disclaimer, so people don't think ill of them. I can't think of any other thing in this world that you can both love and regret.

You can practically feel the pause after hearing/reading a moo vent while we wait for the inevitable "but I love them" or "it's all worth it." It wouldn't be at all surprising to learn that it is waited for and expected when they are in the company of other moos.

I know of two siblings that were adopted and it was pretty clear the reason they were adopted was to give their mother someone to lord over and make her feel powerful. They were adopted because she couldn't conceive, there isn't any way to know if birth children would have been treated better. Both are in the 40s and neither has/wants kids.

There are definitely lots of step kids that are treated like second class citizens once their newly wed parunts have "one of their own".