Mombie mad because siblings refuse to take care of brother

Here's one from Reddit:

Siblings refuse guilt trip

This fine example of breederism is furious that her 20 and 18 year old kids made it crystal clear that they are NOT going to take responsibility for their autistic, ADHD afflicted sibling.

Most of the comments are one the side of the kids.

you should have copied and pasted. it's gone

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

If you dig deep enough, the Auto Mod always copies the post text into the comments for exactly that reason:

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I have three children, my boys Jay (20) and Jack (11). And my daughter Jen (18). Jack is on the autism spectrum, has severe ADHD, and has many other issues. We've known for a while now that Jack will never be self-sufficient. He needs constant care, and while he's been getting better, the doctors say he will probably never be able to be left alone for long periods of time.

Despite this, Jack is the sweetest boy you will ever meet. He's not violent at all and just needs help is all. Well, we've made sure that both of our neurotypical kids know that one day they are going to need to start taking care of Jack when the time comes when I and their dad cannot. Jen has always been neutral, but Jay has always been incredibly obstinate and rude about it. I've put it down to being young and having his life ahead of him but the year he went to college he made it very clear to me that he will not be taking care of Jake in any way and since then I've been arguing about it with him.

Well, right now Jay is home for a few weeks and things have been too good and should have been a sign to come. Friday night, Jay and Jen said they wanted to talk to me and their dad about something serious. Jay started off by saying that he's stepping in because Jen is too afraid to talk on her own to me about this. He said, very rudely, that neither of them will ever be taking care of Jake. He told me that they were not raised to be "caretakers" and that "it's absurd to expect their children to figure out this future issue for them."

I and Jay got into an incredibly heated shouting match. I truly believe this kind of mindset is selfish and evil. Jake is their brother, their flesh and blood, and he did not ask to need to be taken care of. For them to just abandon him like this is absurd. I'm not telling them to put their lives on hold and be his caretaker, only that when the time comes that we can't take care of him they will need to.

We got nowhere and my husband stepped in and took Jay out of the house, I had hoped to have a discussion about his actions but I know now that was not the case. Jay has not spoken a word to me since. Jen has been completely cold to me as well. When I brought the subject up last night to figure out her real opinions she just said "are you going to yell at me like you do Jay?: and that was the end of it.

Jay leaves tonight and I am still livid. I asked my husband this morning when he plans to actually get involved and he told me to "cool my fucking jets." He asked why I insist on ruining my relationship with our adult children and told me that Friday night Jay told him he's going no contact with me because all I do is yell at him.

I regret how I handled this now. But, at the same time, Jay is acting like a complete brat and I have a feeling he turned Jen against me and Jake as well.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________
"Not every ejaculation deserves a name" - George Carlin

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LoveToLurk
If you dig deep enough, the Auto Mod always copies the post text into the comments for exactly that reason:

Hello, Reddit Forensics! I had no idea.

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Evilcunt
For them to just abandon him like this is absurd. I'm not telling them to put their lives on hold and be his caretaker, only that when the time comes that we can't take care of him they will need to.

No, evilcunt it doesn't work like this. Responsible people plan for being a caretaker and they can't live their lives doing as they please until they wake up one day and TADA, they're suddenly caretakers! This requires them putting their lives on hold, likely living in the same city as the younger brother (because everyone has to cater to the autistic brat or else they go apeshit if their daily routine is altered in any way), limiting themselves to a job that they can do in that city, etc. And if either date or marry they would have to discuss their future lives as caretakers when they should be creating a life with their significant other instead. And neither they or their future spouses can indulge in any opportunities outside of the city they grew up in because that would make their brother uncomfortable and throw fits. I'd guess they are both damn fed up with the constant fit throwing of their brother and mother and want nothing more to do with it.

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evilcunt
I regret how I handled this now. But, at the same time, Jay is acting like a complete brat and I have a feeling he turned Jen against me and Jake as well.

The brat in this situation is you evilcunt, you're throwing a fit because your 20 year old son will not do what you want him to and calling him names. He is an adult and can do what he wants with his life. He stood up for himself and his sister (who clearly was too uncomfortable to do this for herself, likely anticipating your reaction). I notice both were eighteen plus when they had this conversation with you. Clearly they felt there would be some kind of retaliation for not fulfilling your wishes.

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son
Jay started off by saying that he's stepping in because Jen is too afraid to talk on her own to me about this. He said, very rudely, that neither of them will ever be taking care of Jake. He told me that they were not raised to be "caretakers" and that "it's absurd to expect their children to figure out this future issue for them."

Evilcunt better figure out if it worth destroying her relationship with both of her elder children because if she doesn't shut up and accept their decisions that is where this is headed. If her two children are bullied at every holiday or gathering about their younger brother they'll make other plans.

I can't count the amount of brats that I've had parunts tell me are perfectly behaved little angels that were exactly the opposite. Any time a parunt makes this claim I'm automatically very suspicious.

The awtard is the responsibility of only one single party: his parents. His normal siblings are in no way obligated to deal with him. Now if they voluntarily chose to become his caregivers, that's one thing. But Moo and Duh just expecting their grown ass sane children to take care of their tard sibling because they're family is horse shit.

If they are concerned about the welfare of their awtard when they are dead or too infirm to be his carers, then they need to make arrangements for him, whether it's sticking him with other willing family members or putting him in a group home. I'm sure they did not plan to have a tard, but they did and it is THEIR job and only their job to figure out what happens to him when they are gone.

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Moron
I'm not telling them to put their lives on hold and be his caretaker, only that when the time comes that we can't take care of him they will need to.

Yes, yes you are telling them to put their lives on hold! You are asking them to be caregivers to someone who will never be able to live independently! This means that they will need to arrange for babysitters if they ever want to go on vacation (or figure out how to safely bring a tard with them on a plane). It means having to arrange their schedules, hobbies, plans, finances and everything else around the needs and whims of the awtard. That's a lot to ask.

Plus they're probably sick of dealing with their tard sibling by this point. I'm sure they had to grow up bending to the tard's whims, unable to bring friends over and always having to live and behave a certain way to avoid causing the tard to descend into a tantrum. Both of them have reached adulthood and at least one of them is in college and they finally have freedom from Tardley's bullshit. The last thing they're gonna do is go back to how things were.

Also, I have a very strong hunch that, in typical breeder fashion, the Moo is severely underestimating her child's condition. She says he has severe ADHD and cannot be left alone, but "oh, he just needs a little help." Umm no, if someone is so severely fucked up that they need lifelong care, they need more than just a little help. They need a lot of help, and most likely expensive medications and therapy.

Good for the other son for going no contact. Moo sounds toxic and she would likely be attempting to guilt trip her other kids into being caregivers. I'm sure she'll lay the guilt on thick with her daughter. The daughter seems like she might be a little bit of a doormat, so Moo might consider her other son a lost cause and instead focus her attention on the daughter to try and coerce into being a caregiver.

Why would you want someone who is unwilling to care for your child? That sounds like a fine recipe for neglect and/or abuse. If the kid is severely autistic, does he even have the capacity to verbalize that he could be getting abused or neglected if questioned? I mean they may as well leave the kid on the curb somewhere and wish him the best of luck if they care that little about the quality of care he would get.

Hmm...kids are 20, 18..and 11? I wonder if the youngest was supposed to "save the marriage"? Nice of her to put all of these burdens on children who didn't ask to be born in the first place. This is the definition of selfish right here.

Reveddit is our friend


https://www.reveddit.com/v/AmItheAsshole/comments/wpwkb6/aita_for_the_way_i_reacted_to_my_neurotypical/?ps_after=1660664753%2C1660665797%2C1660666542%2C1660667229%2C1660667749%2C1660668327%2C1660668921%2C1660669387%2C1660669992%2C1660670471%2C1660671071%2C1660671606%2C1660672221%2C1660672842%2C1660673563%2C1660674416%2C1660675314%2C1660676236%2C1660677279

either that, or they may even be half-siblings from a second marriage. OR an "oops" at many-paws!

Man, that whole post is dripping with Moo resentment. Sounds like she's harping on the subject constantly and trying to extract the promise from her older kids when they aren't yet self-sufficient.

I hope both the older kids run fast and run far from the guilt-tripping Mombie.

disgusting

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

I agree. find a group home you stupid brood sow. and I'll bet she's lying through her teeth about tardleigh being a sweet boy. total selfish oblivious sow

most of the comments are excoriating this mootard. and I'll bet, like another commenter, those children have been forced to kow tow to tardleigh all their lives. they had no childhood because mootard foisted the defecto onto them. 'take tard...play with tard...tard doesn't unndeeerstaaand...you know he's a taaaaard so you have to take his shit...' dollars to donuts

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

Quote

I agree. find a group home you stupid brood sow. and I'll bet she's lying through her teeth about tardleigh being a sweet boy.

I had similar thoughts. I thought it was telling that right after she wrote he was sweet, she wrote "he's not violent at all." It's like saying, "I'm a nice guy, and I never beat my wife." Lack of violence should be a given.

Plus, the boy is only 11 years old--plenty of time to grow into the hulking, violent autard that unfortunately seems to be the norm today because they are raised with no boundaries whatsoever.

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twocents
I agree. find a group home you stupid brood sow. and I'll bet she's lying through her teeth about tardleigh being a sweet boy. total selfish oblivious sow

most of the comments are excoriating this mootard. and I'll bet, like another commenter, those children have been forced to kow tow to tardleigh all their lives. they had no childhood because mootard foisted the defecto onto them. 'take tard...play with tard...tard doesn't unndeeerstaaand...you know he's a taaaaard so you have to take his shit...' dollars to donuts

If she gets started on finding the group home, she may get the tard into one. However, we don't know the financial situation, and many group homes aren't covered by insurance.

+++++++++++++

Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!

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freya

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LoveToLurk
If you dig deep enough, the Auto Mod always copies the post text into the comments for exactly that reason:

Hello, Reddit Forensics! I had no idea.

If you sort by Old it will bring the auto mod copy to the top of the comments (or near it).

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bell_flower

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I agree. find a group home you stupid brood sow. and I'll bet she's lying through her teeth about tardleigh being a sweet boy.

I had similar thoughts. I thought it was telling that right after she wrote he was sweet, she wrote "he's not violent at all." It's like saying, "I'm a nice guy, and I never beat my wife." Lack of violence should be a given.

Plus, the boy is only 11 years old--plenty of time to grow into the hulking, violent autard that unfortunately seems to be the norm today because they are raised with no boundaries whatsoever.

And from the father's and daughter's comments, it sounds like mommy's go to move is to scream at people until she gets her way...if she's describing her NT children as evil and the autistic kid as an absolute angel, you know she has coddled and spoiled that kid absolutely rotten. And probably has been scapegoating the older kids the entire time.