Should my children and I return to my husband who molested them?

I'm at a loss for words.....

https://preachitteachit.org/ask-roger/detail/should-my-children-and-i-return-to-my-child-molesting-husband/

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ladybug2203
I'm at a loss for words.....

https://preachitteachit.org/ask-roger/detail/should-my-children-and-i-return-to-my-child-molesting-husband/

Someone is hard up for the dick, to the point she'll sacrifice her children to that dick.

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Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!

Why the fuck does she even have to ask? Is she hearing herself? If someone she knew asked her this, would she tell them to go back?

If it was her being sexually abused and she wanted to go back to the guy, that's her choice, dumb as it may be. But she is gambling with her kids' well-being by considering sticking them within reach of a man who was grooming them. He may be seeing a shrink, but is that of his own choosing or is it court-mandated? I suppose it's possible - though VERY rare - for an abuser of any kind to become reformed.

Of course Duh is saying that he feels his behavior can be forgiven and the marriage can be repaired - that would be in HIS best interests! And color me shocked, the advice "columnist" is a pastor! Christians and Catholics of any breed will never flat-out recommend divorce because they think marriage is so sacred that any issue should be forgiveable. Like a pastor would have any issues with someone molesting children.

Moo says she has forgiven him. Well that's nice and all, but it seems her daughters have not and she needs to put their needs above her own and her husband's because unless he gets chemically castrated, he's going to abuse/groom them again. This isn't like little kids playing doctor and going a little too far, this is a fully grown man voluntarily choosing to sexually abuse his daughters.

Even if he didn't actually physically touch them inappropriately (so he says), he still made lewd remarks to his underage step-daughters and that alone should be a dealbreaker. Somewhere in his head, he felt it was okay to do this shit, and unless he somehow accidentally sent his daughters explicit messages meant for his wife (or side piece or whomever), he did this intentionally and will almost certainly do it again intentionally. But if there's a next time, he'll be more secretive about it so he doesn't get caught again. He might just tell his daughters sexual things to their faces because then there is no evidence of verbal abuse like with text messages and he can just accuse them of lying if they tattle.

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Moo
I want to do the right thing for us all but feel lost in all of this. Can you give any advice?

No, you need to do the right thing for your kids. That means keeping them away from your hopefully soon-to-be-ex husband.

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Pastor
You can certainly work to restore your marriage and your relationship with your estranged husband. However, I suggest that you leave your children out of this procedure.

How exactly is Moo supposed to restore her marriage and leave her kids out of it? It's not like they're adults who have moved out. They're still teens and presumably still live with their mother. They are part of the marriage because they are part of the family. Does she think for one second her kids won't resent her for patching things up with their abuser? You know how shitty that's going to make them feel for Mom to go, "Sorry Daddy abused you, but I want him back and you're just gonna have to deal with it?" Even if he never does anything inappropriate to them ever again, they will have to live in constant fear that he might do something.

if you read his answer he did not say explicitly no... I think he should have but neither did he excuse or exonerate this bastard.

he pretty much said what could be said in his shoes. namely stay away from this bugger and keep the kids even further away.

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

I can't help but think this moo wants someone to tell her it is okay for her to return to the pedo-dud, otherwise why ask? Good luck with that, even a preacher isn't condoning this! And waiting until the brats are grown and moved out of the house to go back to pedo-dud isn't a good idea because of impending grand brats.

'Should I move back in with my kiddy diddler husband?'

No.

Let's see, something about 'causing little ones to sin,' laws in Leviticus expressly forbidding incest, lusting after another that is not his wife (a.k.a adultery) the list goes on.

Kiddy diddler husbands are biblically allowable to leave and divorce!

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nightfire
'Should I move back in with my kiddy diddler husband?'

No.

Let's see, something about 'causing little ones to sin,' laws in Leviticus expressly forbidding incest, lusting after another that is not his wife (a.k.a adultery) the list goes on.

Kiddy diddler husbands are biblically allowable to leave and divorce!

True, but since when have Catholics actually followed teachings in their own user manual? It's much more Catholic to cherry pick and then badly translate bits and pieces of the Bible to suit individuals' needs and desires so they can do whatever they want and blame it on their god.

Because dontcha know, if Gawd didn't want horny adult men to have sexual urges toward underage girls, he wouldn't have made little girls so desirable to them! I say that in jest, but I know it's probably not far from the truth. There are honestly men out there who feel that girls are in their sexual/reproductive prime at age 11-12 and use that belief as justification for lusting after pre-teen girls.

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freya
I can't help but think this moo wants someone to tell her it is okay for her to return to the pedo-dud, otherwise why ask?

Bingo was his name-o! She made up her mind before she even wrote this letter, she just wants validation for her choice. Even if she doesn't get it, she's gonna keep her husband around and save the marriage, and then when he pulls this shit again with his stepdaughters, Moo will act completely shocked because he went to therapy and said he was sorry, so that makes it all better and the girls should just shut up and get over what he did. Then she'll blame her daughters if he shows his pedo tendencies again. "Well maybe if you girls didn't dress/look/act like that, he wouldn't do these things!"

This woman's children belong in foster care, there they've a better chance, (not 100%) of leaving non-pregnant!

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Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!