Dear fellow antinatalists and/or childfree people!
This forum has helped me a lot in the past, with lots of great and encouraging input - now, if you like, I'd love to ask you for advice in formulating feedback mail to a 'leadership-management-career' coach. I would be very happy to hear suggestions, on how to approach the situation delicately and productively, without going on a rant. Which is what's gonna happen now..
I work at university, and the employees were invited to join this coaching lecture. So far so good.
Just a bunch of common knowledge, and basic-psychology hoo-hah jumbled together.
But then something happened that was really upsetting to me as a CF/AN person.
The coach was some boomer lady (! internalized misogyny, much!) with excessively painted-on eyebrows and very dyed, very fake-blond hair, you know the kind...it may be superficial to connect agenda and looks, but in that case it was rather accurate.
She soon started babbling about having 'coached' a 35-something year-old woman, who was 'too keen' on her career.
This 'coach' then started to spew on stuff that was really concerning. She proudly told that woman to cut down on the career ambitions, after all she 'Didn't have a kid yet', and would 'ruin her life' by not 'having' them, after all, she would 'also be too old to adopt'.
No word of tuning it down to prevent burn-out or other health problems for the woman - nooope, all about non-existent kids.
She emphasized heavily on 'having' and 'suddenly needing to have' kids, this selfish stuff, and acting as if the kid is basically an accessory, possession, or checklist point on the life script.
No word or question, if the woman did even want them in the first place, since one would assume, that a 35+ year old person would know what they want from life in that aspect.
I mean, what the actual fuck! A career coach lady, wanting other women barefoot and pregnant?
It should slowly be clear, that not every AFAB person wants kids, or would be happy about them and make them happy too.
And still, this heteronormative conservative breeder-ganda bogus gets pushed. In academia! Where people are supposed to be rather clear on environmental destruction, overpopulation, (e.g. immigration-based) racism, sexism, political disasters, and other awful things that make this world not exactly 'a nice place to be for additional sentient beings'.
Its so damn infuriating to me, cause a coach or psychologist, basically a person many people may trust, may likely have leverage on less determined people or CF-leaning fence-sitters. This talk, if convincing enough for these people, may lead to them deciding to breed more carelessly, as pro-natalism is presented as 'normal' or even desirable, and being CF is not even talked about as an equally valid option.
Then, multiple lives may really be ruined, since kids sure as hell notice, if they are regretted.
Not even going to talk about the social stigma that parental regret puts on people, forcing them to bottle it up and, maybe even only subconsciously, traumatizing the kids with that inner resentment.
Now, I don't like confrontation and I may not even change much with this stuck-up boomer. But I feel trying to write a personal feedback is at least my responsibility as an antinatalist. Pointing out, that this is a dangerous, toxic and damaging message towards potentially undecided or openly CF AFAB people (disrespectful bingo for them, basically), and that CF should be presented as an equal choice. After all, if nobody says anything, nothing would ever change.
What are your thoughts? How would you approach that?