Another shellshocked parunt: it isn't natural to not have eight people raising the brats November 08, 2022 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,712 |
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Shellshocked parunt whining
Biologically we are designed in every single way you can imagine to function in a tight-knit group. That means raising children in a large group of people who all feel responsible for your children. That means being able to get sick and then recover with no guilt, that means you're not the person your child turns to every time they have a need..... You are doing the job of at least eight people.....
The western idea of parenthood is cruel.
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Shellshocked with more whining
The only thing you can do in such a disgusting and cruel social setting, is to think about what being a parent means to you spiritually and philosophically, and aim towards it.
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and yet more whining
Yes, you're a parent now, and that might be just devastating for you.
Re: Another shellshocked parunt: it isn't natural to not have eight people raising the brats November 09, 2022 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 2,218 |
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And ridiculous social standards can shut up. Look for a way that you can tolerate, not what the neighbours will approve of before they casually dismiss your existence.
Re: Another shellshocked parunt: it isn't natural to not have eight people raising the brats November 09, 2022 | Registered: 7 years ago Posts: 651 |
Re: Another shellshocked parunt: it isn't natural to not have eight people raising the brats November 10, 2022 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 9,973 |
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freya
They had very hard lives and brats died often and were neglected out of necessity.
Re: Another shellshocked parunt: it isn't natural to not have eight people raising the brats November 10, 2022 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,712 |
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cfuter
Who did she pitch in for, on the regular, before she reproduced? Or, did she go out and have fun?
Re: Another shellshocked parunt: it isn't natural to not have eight people raising the brats November 10, 2022 | Registered: 11 years ago Posts: 3,576 |
Re: Another shellshocked parunt: it isn't natural to not have eight people raising the brats November 10, 2022 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 12,434 |
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Cambion
Besdies that, it would likely lead to all kinds of conflicts because everyone would have a different parenting style. What if one person in charge of a brat was a dedicated vegan and wanted the child to eat a diet free of animal products and another wanted the same child to eat meat? What if one person spanked kids as punishment and someone else was against it? What if one person is extremely religious and wanted the brat raised in their faith, while others had conflicting faiths or are atheists and do not want the child to have a certain religious upbringing? What about when the child is in school and they can't agree on extra-curricular activities? What if one child minder is anti-vax and someone else wants the kid vaccinated? Behavior one pseudo-parent would punish, another parent would allow to happen. This sounds like a recipe for an inconsistently parented and therefore messed up child. The kid also likely wouldn't know who to call "mommy" if seven other people were responsible for raising it, and you know when it calls another woman "mommy," the actual mother would get all pissy.
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Cambion
Even among animals that live in packs, I don't think there is any practice like this in nature where pack members are a "village" and are supposed to be responsible for the offspring of other pack members. When did breeders get this idea in their heads that brat care is anybody's problem but their own?
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freya
In the 1800's most famblees were self-sufficient and parents were working, very busy exerting tons of effort to wash clothing and make clothing, put food on the table, etc. If there were multiple adults in a house they were legitimately busy doing everything they could to survive, such as chopping wood all summer so they stayed warm in the winter. They had very hard lives and brats died often and were neglected out of necessity.
Re: Another shellshocked parunt: it isn't natural to not have eight people raising the brats November 10, 2022 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 9,973 |
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yurble
I would disagree here. You do have animals like prairie dogs and bees, where only the dominant members of the group reproduce, and the entire group is responsible for the welfare of the young. In the case of bees, the drones are not capable of reproduction, but in the case of prairie dogs they are but will be ostracized from the group if they do. So again, it is more like feudal society. I wonder if they'd like to adopt this model, where if they aren't top of the pack they are required to care for children, but aren't allowed to reproduce. That's the only way you're going to get an 8:1 ratio of adults:children - otherwise they are going to have to invest significant time caring for other people's children, potentially having even less time available for their own than they do now. I'm guessing they wouldn't go for this model, unless they are deluded enough to think that they'd be queen bee.
Re: Another shellshocked parunt: it isn't natural to not have eight people raising the brats November 12, 2022 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,712 |
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yurble
They want all the benefits of all of society collectively invested in caring for their children but without any of the drawbacks that would be necessary to create the social cohesion to create that kind of society. But I have to say - what is stopping them from creating this kind of community with like-minded fellow breeders? Found family is a thing. But most breeders are all about me me me, with the family as the start and end of what they care about. They aren't good friends, so they don't have a support network. When someone in my friend group has had a serious illness or injury, everyone has chipped in to make sure they are taken care of. If people are complaining about a complete lack of support, I suggest they try looking at how much support they offered in the past. They will probably find that their interest in a village developed about the same time that they wanted to draw on the social credit they didn't develop.
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yurble
And, as Freya noted, this particular type of society hasn't existed in western countries in the last few hundred years. I would actually say thousands of years; this way of life was already replaced with a more hierarchical model before the middle ages. If you were wealthy, you could have a small army handling your childcare tasks, but if you were poor, you got to leave your baby to starve so you could be a wet nurse for the queen. It did exist more recently in other cultures, but I'm going to make the assumption that the person making this complaint is white and middle class, because this article screams "first world problems".
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Cambion
Even among animals that live in packs, I don't think there is any practice like this in nature where pack members are a "village" and are supposed to be responsible for the offspring of other pack members. When did breeders get this idea in their heads that brat care is anybody's problem but their own?
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yurble
I would disagree here. You do have animals like prairie dogs and bees, where only the dominant members of the group reproduce, and the entire group is responsible for the welfare of the young. In the case of bees, the drones are not capable of reproduction, but in the case of prairie dogs they are but will be ostracized from the group if they do. So again, it is more like feudal society. I wonder if they'd like to adopt this model, where if they aren't top of the pack they are required to care for children, but aren't allowed to reproduce. That's the only way you're going to get an 8:1 ratio of adults:children - otherwise they are going to have to invest significant time caring for other people's children, potentially having even less time available for their own than they do now. I'm guessing they wouldn't go for this model, unless they are deluded enough to think that they'd be queen bee.
Re: Another shellshocked parunt: it isn't natural to not have eight people raising the brats November 13, 2022 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 3,842 |
Re: Another shellshocked parunt: it isn't natural to not have eight people raising the brats November 13, 2022 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 3,978 |
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yurble
They want all the benefits of all of society collectively invested in caring for their children but without any of the drawbacks that would be necessary to create the social cohesion to create that kind of society.
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yurble
If people are complaining about a complete lack of support, I suggest they try looking at how much support they offered in the past. They will probably find that their interest in a village developed about the same time that they wanted to draw on the social credit they didn't develop.
Re: Another shellshocked parunt: it isn't natural to not have eight people raising the brats November 13, 2022 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 12,434 |
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Cambion
Well if the movie Antz is in any way biologically/scientifically accurate, that would mean that the community is responsible for all the offspring the queen produces as well. But that's also just one ant doing all the reproducing, so wouldn't that also mean that all the ants are at least half-siblings? Would they have to keep all the kids apart as they got older to prevent dating and inbreeding? If humans followed this logic, who would decide to be the "queen" that devotes her time to basically being Ma Duggar and crapping out babies every year? Would all the other females tasked with caring for the young be sterilized to prevent them from reproducing and taking attention away from the queen's babies like ants (they're born sterile for that reason, I think)?
Re: Another shellshocked parunt: it isn't natural to not have eight people raising the brats November 14, 2022 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 3,842 |
Re: Another shellshocked parunt: it isn't natural to not have eight people raising the brats November 16, 2022 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 9,973 |
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paragon schnitzophonic
Their idea of a village only ever involves children, too. Are they coming around with meal prep for their friend in the middle of writing her Ph.D. thesis? Are they cleaning the house of their sick mother? Are they giving money to their sister who has hit hard times? Did they ever do any of the things they expect from other people?
Re: Another shellshocked parunt: it isn't natural to not have eight people raising the brats November 16, 2022 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 12,434 |
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Cambion
Oh I know it's likely not 100 percent accurate, but I figured at least some of it was based in reality. Like compared to A Bug's Life that came out around the same time, they gave their ants six limbs instead of four.
Re: Another shellshocked parunt: it isn't natural to not have eight people raising the brats November 17, 2022 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 9,973 |
Re: Another shellshocked parunt: it isn't natural to not have eight people raising the brats November 17, 2022 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 12,434 |
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Cambion
Oh I know, I just didn't say what I meant very clearly. In Antz, the ant characters were designed with six limbs like normal insects. But in A Bug's Life, the ants only had four limbs. But the grasshoppers (the bad guys) all had six legs, I guess to make them look more scary or something? LOL I promise I know bugs have six legs. I just appreciated the little attention to detail in the Dreamworks film. Both are good movies, but between the two, I think Antz was based juuuuuuust slightly more on real ants. A Bug's Life was based on a fable, I think.