Being a "non-mawm" in a women's therapy group

While recovering from a depressive episode, I've found that therapy groups are a major part of treatment. In itself, that's not a bad thing; it's good to be around others who have "been there." But groups are intensive and take up a lot of time. One is for women who've had the same struggles. And by women, we mean mawms, of course. Duh! Because every woman is, right?

Thankfully, it's a small group of five. We don't always have a theme for the session, so discussion can cover a lot of ground; often it's health issues. Always at some point the talk turns to the kids, problems they are having with the kids, dealing with an ex regarding their kids, etc. Hmm, don't kids strengthen a marriage? Holy shit! So I sit there and try to be interested in their stories, often not succeeding. I can usually empathize with people, but when it comes to parunt discussions, all bets are off. How much can I contribute to the conversation? Not much.

It's funny that if you talk about yourself, your interests, your issues, many think you are self-centered. But somehow, if you talk about your kyds, it's all good. It seems like just another way of talking about oneself, but it appears to be "selfless." I think next week I will tell the therapist that I feel left out because I'm childfree and can't identify with mommy issues. Or maybe I'm not cut out for this particular group. Oh well.

always comes around to their second mistakes, doesn't it

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

I would say to ask about another group but older mahms will just talk about grand brats. Is there a way to join one that is mostly men? You're still rolling the dice a bit but duhs are less prone to make everything about brats. It is important that you're able to find a good fit if the group setting is beneficial to you.

Parents who yammer on about their damn kids do so for one of two (or even both of these) reasons: they see the kids as extensions of themselves, so talking about their sproggen lets them talk about themselves without sounding self-centered. That, or they have allowed their kids to consume their entire lives and identities and they genuinely don't know what to talk about besides their brats. Even if someone changes the subject, the breeders in the group will manage to steer the conversation back around to Junior's potty training or Sproglina's training bra. It gets very tiring to listen to.

A therapy group of mostly men might be better, but if any of them are Duhs, I'm sure they'll be complaining about their horrid kids and their bitchy Moo wives/ex-wives, both of which may be contributing factors in their need for therapy. But in fairness, it might be hard to find a support group with men because so many fellows seem to think that seeking mental health care makes them weak. Between men and women, women seem to be the ones who are much more likely to seek therapy/support.

Probably the default is to match on the basis of age + gender, but that can be limiting. I imagine that aspects of identity, especially those which are often marginalized (like LGBTQ+, disability, or BIPOC), might prevent someone from finding common ground in a therapeutic context with people who are similar in age and gender, but who don't share the marginalized identity. Since natalism is so pervasive people might not think about parental status as one of those identities, unless it was phrased in a pronatalist way (e.g., someone struggling with infertility gets more distressed listening to people talk about parenting).

If it was me, I would probably try to find a younger group, people in their late 20s and early 30s. I find their problems easier to relate to because they are more similar to mine, even though I'm older. While it might not be ideal for discussing specific childfree content, since most of them will go on to sprog, children are unlikely to be the main topic of conversation.