Proof of moo and duh and little turds-jacking

This was in my email this morning, a Dear Carolyn letter. again I think I hate the parents more than I do the kids

Dear Carolyn: For many years my spouse and I celebrated most holidays with my parents, my brother, and his wife. These holidays were delightful. Excellent wine, adventurous menus, carefully curated playlists, long, lounging dinners with great conversations.

My brother and his wife, somewhat late in life, now have three kids. I love my niece and nephews, but they have significantly changed the holiday dynamic, and I miss having more relaxed, sophisticated holidays. I have tried to come up with compromises over the years, but all of them have been rejected.

I invited all the adults to adults-only holiday dinners after the kids’ bedtimes at my home, I suggested that my parents invite my and my brother’s households to their home on alternate holidays, I suggested that we set up a fun Thanksgiving-themed “camp” in my parents’ basement and hire a sitter to watch the kids downstairs while the adults enjoy the holiday upstairs. (I was willing to pay for tents and the sitter.)

This year I suggested having an adults-only Christmas celebration on Christmas Eve. My parents weren't interested because they needed to get ready for Christmas Day, and my brother said it was unreasonable to expect them to get a sitter for this event.

I’m at a loss. My parents are getting older, and I fear we will not have another peaceful holiday in their lifetimes. The kids are good kids and I don’t mind spending time with them, but I feel like all the holidays have been hijacked. Our only choices seem to be to stay home by ourselves or join a child-centered holiday. Is there another way to get my family to work with me on this?

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

I think this guy has got to realize the CL adult get togethers are over for good. The rest of them will not want to go back to the peaceful CL/CF past.

And here is another one, from AITA... talk about a FUCKING CLUELESS MOMMY. Good Lord... hopefully she is telling the truth and FINALLY realized what a cunt aunty was...

AITA for “forcing” my daughter to interact with her aunt - 8 August 2020

My daughter (16f) has been refusing to interact with her aunt(my sister). Aunt, who I’ll call Helen, comes over every Monday and Thursday to bring dinner and catch up with the family. My husband and I enjoy her company and it’s nice to have meals already made for two out of seven days.

My daughter, who I’ll call Amy, has been avoiding her aunt like she’s the plague. On Mondays and Thursdays Amy goes to either her friend’s or BF’s house. She leaves at around 10:00am and won’t come home until 10:30. We know that Amy isn’t doing anything bad because she’ll always tell us the night where she’s going, and will always come home before her curfew. I also have a tracker (which she knows about) on her phone so I know where she is. Amy has been doing this since the beginning on July.

Recently Helen has noticed that Amy is never home when she’s over. Helen loves Amy and really wants to spend time with her, but Amy refuses. On Thursday, after she came home and Helen left, I asked Amy why she keeps avoiding her Aunt, but then Amy blew up at me. Amy started yelling and crying about how horrible Aunt Helen is to her, and how she always makes Amy feel like crap. Amy also said that Helen is very mentally abusive towards her and is a gaslighter. I got very angry and told Amy that she’s overreacting, that Helen does/says things out of love and that she can’t help it. Amy continued to yell and cry about how “horrible” her aunt is. I told Amy that she was acting like a spoiled brat, and I proceeded to take her phone and all of her electronics away from her.

Today I talked to Amy and said that she now has to stay home on Mondays and Thursdays and spend an hour with Aunt Helen. If Amy doesn’t, then she’ll be grounded for two weeks and she won’t have her electronics for that time either. Amy started to cry, probably trying to guilt trip me, and she begged to at least only do this on Mondays. I said no, and I reminded her of her punishment if she refuses to comply. Amy called me an asshole and said things thag really hurt my feelings.

I told Helen about this and she thanked me for having my daughter stay home, after all she really does love Amy. My husband said that I went overboard with taking her things away, but believes that Amy is being a brat.

So reddit, AITA for forcing my daughter to interact with her aunt? I think that I’m in the right, but I want to see what you all think.

Verdict: YTA

Edit:

Amy has told me about some bad things Helen has said/done to her in the past. I understand those things and I’ve talked to Helen about those things. Helen has apologized and wants to make things up with Amy, but Amy has refused.

Edit:

(so I don’t have to respond to every question): When Amy was younger, she’d spend a lot of time over at Helen’s house. Helen is the type of person who says what’s on her mind, and she never holds back. Helen would tell Amy if she’s eating too much/too little, that she looked bad, didn’t look pretty, as well as other things. Amy claims that Helen would force her to eat a lot, even if Amy was uncomfortable. There are other things that Amy refuses to tell me, so all I know is that Helen has made a few comments here and there. I must also add that these comments were made YEARS ago.

Edit:

I really love Amy and I love Helen too. Helen admits to her wrongdoings but Amy is the one who doesn’t want to sit down and accept the apology.

Edit/Update:

I have read almost all of your responses and have looked through as many messages I can. Some of the things sent to me were devastating to say the least, but not as devastating as me realizing what I did to Amy. I fully accept that I am the asshole and there are no excuses to my actions. I apologized to Amy and said that whenever she’s ready to talk she can. I also told her that she doesn’t have to accept my apology. When Amy is ready, I’ll talk to her about Helen. I called Helen this morning and told her to not come over the next few weeks. She asked why but I didn’t give her an answer. I don’t want to confront Helen with anything until Amy feels it’s okay. After all, Amy is the one who suffered the most.

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

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twocents
I’m at a loss. My parents are getting older, and I fear we will not have another peaceful holiday in their lifetimes. The kids are good kids and I don’t mind spending time with them, but I feel like all the holidays have been hijacked. Our only choices seem to be to stay home by ourselves or join a child-centered holiday. Is there another way to get my family to work with me on this?

I think they should just accept that this is what holidays are like now, and arrange some alternate time when they can do sophisticated things with their parents, and forget the brother. Because this is never going to change.

This is weird to me. These breeders do everything they can to keep it all about the brats even though one relative is offering all kinds of options to give the parunts a few hours off. Isn't this what most breeders clamor for?
Then we see breeders who are desperate to have an hour or two to themselves and endlessly whine about that.

It makes me wonder if breeders are just determined to desperately want everything that isn't readily available to them.

Quote
twocents
And here is another one, from AITA... talk about a FUCKING CLUELESS MOMMY. Good Lord... hopefully she is telling the truth and FINALLY realized what a cunt aunty was...

AITA for “forcing” my daughter to interact with her aunt - 8 August 2020

Yes, please moo FORCE your dotter to spend time with her aunt and punish her for refusing. Because cunt aunt is sorry after all, and the dotter is behaving like a "brat".

No moo, dotter is expressing boundaries with someone who hurt her numerous times in a very memorable way. At first dotter did this by simply avoiding her aunt but you forced her hand. She is standing up to your rude clueless ass and is being punished because of it. Way to respect her decision and her autonomy! I'm positive the apology you demanded from the aunt will change everything, and aunt won't revert to abusing your dotter.