When a kid comes first in a marriage

https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/asked-wife-she-save-her-160000688.html


Dhawks, who says he’s been married to his wife for 10 years, said he asked her if he were drowning and her son were drowning also which of the two she’d save. He said his wife said she would save her son. However, when she asked if Dhawks would save her or his stepson, he said that he would save her.

He told her he only loves the stepkid because he loves her, and they are going through a divorce now

I wonder if any parents find it painful to find out they are now second to their spouse and the kid is now first.
On reddit cf someone posted that they knew a guy who was jealous over his kid getting all the attention from his wife and the kid coming first and said that if he had of known that a kid would take his wife like that he never would've had kids. Many people called him immature, but if those are feelings to consider before marriage and any kids.

I imagine they do get jealous because prior to breeding, all the Moo's affection and attention would go toward the Duh. He was number one in her life, or at least in the top five. He also likely had to work to impress her and get her to like him enough to earn those affections. Then Junior comes along and all of a sudden he is commandeering 100 percent of the attention and all he's doing is existing. He didn't have to earn Moo's love and prove he's a worthy person. He just lays there and screams and shits himself and he gets all Moo's attention. Then Moo is likely a bitchy harpy toward Duh for a number of reasons, ranging from plain old exhaustion to having no more love to give after dealing with the kid to frustration about him not pulling his weight with the brat that is 50% his.

It's possible for a child and a spouse to hold the title of most important person, but for different reasons. Or at the least, it's possible to have the loaf be priority number one for a while and the spouse priority number two simply because the spouse is (hopefully) less needy and helpless than the child and hopefully they can understand that. But when people (usually women) put the child first throughout their marriage, it will absolutely breed resentment. Of course this is assuming the relationship was happy and functional prior to breeding because plenty of stupid women will marry and breed with absolute shit bags who will always put their computers or video games or cars above their wives and kids. Then they wind up resentful because Moo no longer waits on them hand and foot like children.

I don't suppose the ideal solution to the drowning question would be to make sure both people can fucking swim, would it? That way nobody has to pick and choose who lives. The Duh in the story also says that if the brat was his biological kid and not his stepson, his answer would be different because he doesn't have a DNA bond with the stepson. In other words, they only love the biological trash they themselves create, whereas he's likely just putting up with Moo's mistake from another man.

Even if I had brats, I'd save my spouse. Because it's a lot harder to find another spouse than it is to make another kid.

Also could be lack of intimacy that takes place after kids. Suddenly, his nights go from being X rated to G rated and he still has "needs".

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Cambion
Even if I had brats, I'd save my spouse. Because it's a lot harder to find another spouse than it is to make another kid.

My mother made it clear that she had two DIFFERENT relationships, one with me and one with my stepfather. She neglected no one, abet I was a teen at the time. I was too young to know what the dynamic of her first marriage was as that broke up when I was...eight.

+++++++++++++

Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!

I don't get why people even ask these stupid questions. It's like asking if you'd rather have cancer or AIDs.

Breeders love these what if scenarios...save the cat or the brat, save the cousin or the son.

When I was in high school, a classmate asked our teacher if she was done with grading our tests yet. The teacher said "oh I haven't gotten to it yet...my son asked me why I don't spend time with him so I've been spending more time with him. Not that you guys aren't important to me, but he is so much more...it's not even close!" Why even bring that up with someone and make them feel like shit? Just say you haven't gotten to it yet. And nine times out of ten, the son was playing Moo like a mandolin. What 5-6 year old says stuff like that unless they've seen it on some tv program and decided to parrot that to their dumbass parents. And of course since breeders are idiots, she fell for it.

I have reptiles and I am in some Facebook reptile groups. A moo posted recently saying that she needed to see pictures of our scaly babies to lift her spirits because she had lost her pets in a house fire recently. "My priority was my SON" she said as she left the critters to burn to a crisp. I understand you might not be able to save every animal especially if you have a lot, but I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't at least try to get the pets out. You mean to tell me that you couldn't at least throw a bearded dragon or small frog in your purse as you are fleeing?

Breeders don't give a damn about anyone except who they pushed out of their stank holes and sometimes, they don't even give a shit about them by the way that they treat their kids.

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"I have found little that is 'good' about human beings on the whole. In my experience most of them are trash, no matter whether they publicly subscribe to this or that ethical doctrine or to none at all."
~Sigmund Freud

That's awful! I don't think I could leave my pets to burn anywhere. I'd go in and risk my life trying to save them even though fire is a huge phobia for me and hopefully this will never happen. *touches wood*

I'd never marry a breeder because I know I'd always come in second. Or third. Or whatever. If I were to ever marry again (never gonna happen but for the sake of my comment) it would always be with someone who has no kids. I don't care if they're drowning in money, fame, whatever. It wouldn't matter.

I'm happy being a bachelorette and will most likely stay that way for the rest of my life. Especially at my age, most men have bred and I don't think I'd ever find one who hasn't.

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mumofsixbirds
That's awful! I don't think I could leave my pets to burn anywhere. I'd go in and risk my life trying to save them even though fire is a huge phobia for me and hopefully this will never happen. *touches wood*

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Fire is one of my worst nightmares and I have a lot of pets. I couldn't just leave them. And I guarantee this son that the cow was bleating about was old enough to run and flee on his own. I bet he wasn't a helpless arm baby.

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"I have found little that is 'good' about human beings on the whole. In my experience most of them are trash, no matter whether they publicly subscribe to this or that ethical doctrine or to none at all."
~Sigmund Freud