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I (30F) have been married to my husband (32M) for five years. We've had our share of problems like any couple, but this one’s really shaken me to my core. We have a son (5M) who was diagnosed with autism about two years ago. Of course, it hasn't been easy, but I love him with all my heart. He's sweet, and despite the challenges, I could never imagine life without him.

Lately, my husband has been acting different. He’s more distant, like he’s checked out emotionally. I chalked it up to stress from work or maybe just that we're both overwhelmed trying to balance everything. But then I overheard something that I can't unhear. He was talking to a couple of his friends, and they were discussing kids, parenting, etc. One of his friends made some off-hand comment about how hard parenting is, and that’s when my husband just... let loose.

He started saying how our son is "too much to handle" and that he feels like "he’s a burden." He even mentioned that sometimes he wishes we could give him up for adoption, like WHAT?! I couldn’t believe it. At first I thought maybe he was just frustrated and saying things out of anger or stress, but he kept going. He wasn’t just venting. He said he missed the freedom we had before becoming parents and that he thinks it would be "better for everyone" if we weren’t stuck with this life.

I was absolutely crushed. How could he talk about our son like that? I would NEVER give up on him, not for anything. He’s not a burden—he’s a beautiful boy who just needs more understanding and patience. Hearing my husband say those things about him just shattered me inside.

When I confronted him, he brushed it off, saying I was overreacting and that he didn’t really mean it, that he was just blowing off steam with his friends. But how can I not take that seriously? He’s literally talking about abandoning our son! He didn’t apologize. He said he’s just overwhelmed and feels like our son’s autism is taking over our lives and that he doesn't know how much more he can take. But instead of working through it together, he's talking about running away from the problem.

Now I’m stuck. I don’t know what to do. I feel like I can’t stay with someone who sees our child as a burden. But I also feel so torn because we’re married, and I thought we’d always have each other’s backs, especially when it comes to raising our child. But if he’s really feeling like this, how can I trust him to be there for our son and me in the long run?

I don’t want to break up our family, but I also can’t stay with someone who could even think about giving up our child. I love my son more than anything, and I will never allow that.

So, ATAH for wanting to leave my husband after this? Should I be trying harder to work this out or is it too far gone?

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commenter
Fact - Children ARE a burden regardless of abilities.

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bell_flower
I saw it and I'm copying it because you know it's going to disappear