When the CF discipline kids

Read this over on reddit/cf when a cf couple took in a brat and actually raised him for a few days. The kid was changed completely, but went back to it's crappy ways after going home

"I have a friend who had a nightmare of a 3.5 year-old child who hit, kicked, punched, screamed at etc., his parents. It was because of her & her husband’s lack of discipline of any kind, I believe. (She used “gentle parenting” & he couldn’t be bothered to parent.)

She had a medical emergency, was admitted to the hospital, and her husband called me to see if we could watch their kid. My husband and he were close so we agreed.

We had the kid for three days, and he threw a huge tantrum & threw his plate exactly once on the first evening about an hour after we got him. I swiftly dealt with it by saying nothing, but immediately picking him up him from the dinner table, putting him in “time out” in the guest room (there was nothing in there that he could hurt himself with, and/or destroy, & I also sat quietly outside the door), & then informed him we would not be going to the pool because he could not behave.

He screamed at the top of his lungs for a good 15 minutes-it was shocking. He finally stopped & calmed down. When I asked him if he was ready to finish his dinner, he came out of the room and said he was sorry-on his own! He ate the rest of his dinner nicely and asked about the pool. I told him that we weren’t going to the pool because of his bad behavior at dinner, but that we could watch his favorite movie after his bath, and if he was good for the rest of the night and all of the next day, we could go to the pool.

We had him for three days total and after that first night he was well behaved-a completely different child. My husband took him fishing, we did a couple of age appropriate crafts, had a picnic, made mom a get well card, & went to the pool twice. On the way to drop him off at home we stopped at the store so he could choose some flowers for his mom. It honestly made me feel badly for him because with boundaries and expectations, he was a really good kid. Perhaps I didn’t handle his tantrum exactly correctly according to childhood experts, but the results were positive & he wasn’t hurt physically or emotionally. His parents told us what great friends we were for lying to them about his good behavior. This also saddened me.


Once home he turned back into an uncontrollable, little monster with atrocious behavior. Bad parents suck, no matter what road they take to get there.

Doesn't surprise me. A lot of parents of young brats now simply do not want to put in any effort to actually parent their kids. I think a lot of them are still holding grudges over their own parents disciplining and spanking them, so they decided that they will not do that with their own kids because they think discipline = abuse. Then they wonder why their kids are horrible, uncontrollable monsters and ask the internet if their precious dumpling cound be on the spectrum because they don't want to admit the child is a product of nurture and not nature.

But this is an example of a kid who didn't even need to be spanked, which honestly I would have done if the little bastard threw a fucking plate in my house. The author seemed to stay calm, removed the brat from the situation, punished the kid effectively and gave him immediate consequences for his behavior, then followed through with the loss of privileges instead of being sweet-talked into letting the brat have his way anyway. The kid learned that he didn't get to have fun because of the way he acted and then behaved appropriately so he could do the fun thing he wanted to do.

The kid is only three years old and he caught on pretty quick. Sounds like he's a smart kid. He's just been cursed with inept idiot parents. I wouldn't be surprised if he begs to go back to the author's house more often.

Breeders will always have an excuse for why they "can't" do this with their own kids. It's too hard, the kids throw tantrums, discipline doesn't work, discipline is abusive, Mommy is too tired, Junior doesn't understand, the brats are allegedly autistic, and a million other things.

There is such a difference between abuse and discipline. I always think of discipline as being a good thing. Learning and achieving anything takes discipline. I don't understand how breeders think that discipline equates abuse.

The parents aren't doing their job and it's showing in their own child's behavior.

I'm going to be honest. It would be a shitshow if some kid came to my house and started throwing things. I have to commend this couple on their restraint. I wouldn't have smacked him but there would've been loud screaming and an angry phone call placed to the duh to come pick his demon up before he winds up outside my front door.