Moo freaking out over dog's name

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I (29F) am married to my husband (31M), and we’re currently expecting our first child after years of trying. It’s been a really emotional journey—there were some fertility struggles, a miscarriage last year, and honestly, we weren’t sure if we’d ever get here. But now I’m six months along with a healthy baby girl, and we’re over the moon.

Ever since I was a teenager, I’ve had a favorite name: Lila. It’s my dream name for a daughter, and I’ve talked about it so many times that my whole family knows it’s “my” name. It has a special meaning to me—my late grandmother was named Delilah, and it’s my way of honoring her. My husband loves the name too, so we decided pretty early on that this would be our baby girl’s name.

Six months ago, my younger sister Emma (27F) got a golden retriever puppy. We were all excited for her—she’s always been an animal lover and was thrilled to finally get her own dog. But when she introduced us to the puppy, she casually said, “This is Lila!”

At first, I thought she was joking. I even laughed and said, “No way, Emma. You know that’s my baby name!” But she just shrugged and said, “It’s a name, not a copyright. I thought it was cute for a dog.” I was honestly stunned. I didn’t want to make a big scene, so I let it go in the moment, but it really bothered me.

As time went on, the whole family started referring to her dog as “Lila,” and it’s become the default association. At my baby shower last month, I was talking to some family members about the nursery, and when I mentioned naming the baby Lila, my aunt literally laughed and said, “You’re not actually naming your baby after Emma’s dog, right?”

I felt humiliated. I tried to brush it off, but the more I think about it, the more it hurts. I finally sat Emma down privately and told her how I was feeling. I explained how important the name is to me, how it’s tied to Grandma, and how much it means to me after everything we’ve been through to have this baby.

Emma rolled her eyes and said, “Oh my god, you’re seriously still mad about this? It’s just a dog’s name. You don’t own Lila.” I told her that while I’m still going to name my daughter Lila, she’s made it really awkward for me. She laughed and said, “Awkward for you, not for me!”

Now, Emma is getting married in two weeks, and I’m supposed to be her maid of honor. But I’ve been feeling more and more like I can’t do it. I don’t want to stand up there and celebrate her when I feel like she doesn’t respect me or care about my feelings. Last week, I told her that I wasn’t sure I could attend the wedding because of how hurt I’ve been about everything.

She lost it. She called me selfish and accused me of “ruining her big day” over something as “stupid” as a name. She even told me, “You’re the one making this a thing. Nobody cares except you.” My parents are siding with her, saying I’m being “petty and hormonal” and need to let it go because “family is more important than a name.”

My husband, on the other hand, is furious. He says Emma has been dismissive and mean, and I shouldn’t have to put my feelings aside just to keep the peace.

Now I feel torn. I know skipping her wedding is a huge deal, and I don’t want to cause a permanent rift, but I also feel like Emma has completely dismissed my feelings and made this whole situation worse.

AITAH for not attending her wedding?

Edit: Seeing my inbox overflowing, I decided to call my parents to discuss what my next steps should be. I’ve shared the details in the comments section. (Thanks for the gold dear stranger!)