How can they let it go this far

https://old.reddit.com/r/childfree/comments/1il5du3/get_your_vasectomies_and_your_tubal_ligations/

A girl on reddit CF admitted that due to Borderline Personality DIsorder she thought that having a kid was a good idea until it wasn't. She is giving the kid over to the soon to be ex to raise and it is getting sterilized. Everyone is cheering her on and I understand that, but it seems like locking the barn door only after the horse escapes.

This kid will be on her doorstep in the future demanding a relationship as she is trying to live the CF life, she will have to tell future men about it, the ex will be after child support, her body will never be the same and she will never truly be rid of her ex.

She did say her choice was due to mental illness and the existence of the kid put her in the psyche ward and on a lot of meds. I just don't know how a person can go so far from themselves that they do someone so wrong for themselves and so un-erasable.

While I'm thrilled that a woman hasn't been shamed into keeping a brat we all know that her situation is very precarious and she could end up with sole custody within a month or two. If the duh ex doesn't demand it then the kid can start making demands. It is still a shit situation for everyone involved that could have been avoided if she didn't have the kid.

At the very minimum, she realized that her keeping this kid would not be in anyone's best interests. Obviously she can't Ctrl+Z a loaf (not legally anyway), but not being its parent when she has a mental illness that is worsened by the child's existence is the next best thing.

Her story may have been more suited for r/regretfulparents, but at least she is getting support.

So what happens if the father doesn't want the kid? I assume he cannot be forced to take full custody of the brat if she has no interest in keeping it. Because as much as he gave the author a hard time about struggling with the loaf she didn't want to begin with, that does not necessarily mean he will put his money where his mouth is and be a father to this kid. I also very much doubt that this man is a horrible husband, but an amazing father. If he is a piece of shit to the author, he will be a piece of shit to his kid too. It seems like he wants custody, but that shit might change once he's a full-time single father.

I commend her for finally getting away from her presumably abusive partner. It took five tries, but it's very hard to get away from someone like that. Many people don't realize just how hard it is to escape the hands of an abuser and will offer such helpful advice as "Well, just leave then!"

I hope she can even get sterilized since she's only 20-21 if she got up the duff at 19 and has a 14-month-old. Even if she's had a brat and has a mental illness, some asshole in a white coat might decide that she's too young and immature to make such a permanent choice about her body. Even if she goes into explicit detail about how the brat existing put her in the psych ward, some doctors won't even consider performing a tubal unless a woman is over 35 or has had 2-3 kids.

It would probably be best if she wasn't in the kid's life at all, though. Because it would probably mess the kid up to learn that it has a mother, but Mommy just can't stand to be around them for more than a couple times a week.