IF YOU’RE BRINGING YOUR KIDS, IT’S NOT A VACATION, IT’S A FAMILY TRIP.

I just did a reddit search 'is going on vacations with kids fun'

I guess there is a mantra among parents now, and it's the above subject line, or they call it a family adventure. They refuse to call it a vacation. Its parenting at a different location.

If you want to see how miserable parunts are on vacation, and youre bored, put the search in and read, there's plenty to choose from. Some replies say they have good times tho.

Honestly, just stay home. Put a sprinkler, waterguns or splash pool in the back yard, allow yourself some drinks w/ the spouse, popsicles for the kids, and take out food everyday for the week, and call that a vacation. Why spend money to be miserable.

I posted before how all the Disney families were calling into a radio show with how miserable they were at Disney and the money the spent. They did not hold back whatsoever.

I'd never take kids on a vacation, at least not until they are older. If they're too young, they won't remember it anyway. Depending on how awtarded they are, they might have a lot of trouble adjusting to a disrupted routine, meaning a LOT more tantrums. A lot of the time, they don't want to go on a trip in the first place.

Breeders will throw away a fortune just to make their lives harder trying to parent brats at a tourist trap. If a kid wants to go and is old enough to make that kind of decision, then sure, take them along. Otherwise, leave them with a relative and just the parents can go. I guarantee everyone will be happier - the parents will be thrilled to get the fuck away from their kids, and the kids will be thrilled to get the fuck away from their parents. Especially if they stay at their grandparents' house, where I'm sure they will get to eat their weight in snacks every day.

Don't take kids anywhere. They will be miserable, and they will make everyone else miserable. Do a staycation at most. Don't spend thousands and thousands of dollars going to Disneyworld for a couple photos and then pretend like you had a good time.

More on this topic from Stepparents subreddit:

We took everyone on a trip this past week. Stayed at a nice expensive resort (we were hooked up with a discount from a friend who works at corporate for the hotel). We figured this would be good given past complaints about vacations from SKs. When we’ve gone to cabins/up to the woods (not camping), they say it’s boring, not fun, and they want us to take them to Disneyland or Hawaii. We can’t afford either of those nor do we want to take the risk on a big trip for them to be upset and unappreciative the whole time.

We go, get poolside fun snacks and drinks, even got room service one day, and it’s still not enough. The water slides/lazy river/movies at the pool aren’t fun enough.

This is exactly why I’d rather stay home year round than take them on a trip. We put time and effort and money into doing something we genuinely felt they would like and it’s just never enough. Even DH seemed so down and defeated. It’s exhausting.

This is just a vent post. I’m tired and sad and hate seeing my husband treated like this.

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You work hard all year and this is how your brats act on vacation. So all those happy faces telling everyone at work how great their vacations were are all lies....IDK about you guys I wouldnt be able to demand Disney vacations and Hawaii (altho I did go to Disney several times when it was something no one did in my 'hood--my parents lived like misers so had disposable income when push came to shove) I literally wouldnt even be asked where I'd like to go like these shithead parents did. Did I ever complain about the food choices and long car trips--yes--and immediately got shut the fuck down.

My male friend has similar stories like this when he took his kids, brats wanted nothing but Taco Bell, and wouldnt agree to go to any place he wanted to go for fun, like he was their servant. (My parents wouldnt have asked, nor cared if I didnt want to do, they just told me, we're going to this event or museum, whatever. I didnt get a chance to protest. I dont know where i am and Im not paying for it, how do you tell your dad you dont want to go? I mean, why cater to every whim?)

Why do modern parents endlessly cater to brats at all? Well, sucks to be moo! Why go on vacay to be miserable? Brats are miserable. You know that, bcz theyre miserable at home. Having kyds is a self made prison,open your eyes.

On a separate note, Room Service is overrated and kinda sucks(especially now--I hear they just serve you the food in take out boxes, deliver it in a paper bag like takeout restaurants, instead of a cart and plates etc) Unless I'm super tired, sunburnt, hungover, why do I want to eat mid food in a hotel room? Why would kyds want to eat food in a hotel room?

If you want to read the comments that all agree w/ them, and one telling them its time to yell at these kids and teach them how to act(finally a parent who leads...no one wants to yell...no yelling is not fun for anyone...but having the brats think they are the center of the vacation is unbearable), anywhooo, here's the link:https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/comments/1tylxvd/and_this_is_why_id_rather_not_vacation_at_all/

Quote
cfuter
You work hard all year and this is how your brats act on vacation.

To be fair, it sounds like it was a vacation strictly for the parents, not the kids. Expensive resort cabin, poolside drinks and movies, lazy river...and that's all there is to do for a whole week? I can understand why room service wasn't exciting for the kids. What kid gets excited over room service?

This sounds an awful lot like the parents booked the vacation THEY wanted and dragged the kids along. The parents wanted a break from their lives, time to unwind and relax, while the kids wanted to DO something. If the parents needed a break, they should have left the kids behind. If they wanted to involve the kids, they should have done something the kids wanted. Instead they expected their kids to be exactly like them and now everybody's miserable.

I can see your point but if my parents planned this, I'd better smile and keep my mouth shut and make the best of it and play w/ sibs or other kids at the pool, or as an only kid, play by myself, and bit w/ mom/dad.

And, at least regarding the pool, some parents go on vacation just at a hotel the main focus is just the brats playing at the pool even if it is a shitty pool, and you go out to dinner at nite, that is it, maybe one 'event' like visiting a museum, monument, zoo, etc. If kids were at a cabin, you'd just walk around the woods, and explore, depending on the ages. Lunch at a local diner, maybe tag along shopping at the town. At cabin, maybe games, interaction, other crafts, or exploring games. Play games in the woods. I'd think having fun in a nice pool playing for 6ish hours a day would be at least a nice change from home.

What parents should do if they have the $$ is go to a hotel w/ a babysitter, and/or hire a nanny for the vacay (my ILs did this but they had 5 kids and did have money--seems like a good thing to save up for even if poor). Plan adult things every single day, let the kids play w/ the sitter, I mean if they complain about everything, this would be the same thing as just staying home for them, they have adult supervision, and then they can't complain bcz they would be doing the same shit they'd do at home. If they clamor to come w/ mom/dad, just say,, no...all you do is complain and you dont want to do these things. If they come, then say 0 complaining allowed, and follow thru.

Not sure what a kid would want to do for a 5-7-10 day vacation that parents might also enjoy a little bit. I mean, wtf do these kids think is gonna happen in Hawaii for an average income fam? It will be beach/pool time mostly. Ive been to Hawaii, off hand, I do recall riding a bike tour going down a hill, not sure kids of all ages are welcome on that, otherwise it was pools, bars, bars in pools, beach, if you have money its hang gliding, jet skis(not for all ages) I think I went snorkeling on some coral reef (also not child friendly IIRC), my rich ILs likely went surfing and surf lessons but the kids were much older by then. I think I went horseback riding--also not kid friendly depending on the ranch or kids ages--I think they had excursion for caves and glass bottom boats. Night was eating at nice restaurants--not Taco Bell--luaus, Tiki, native entertainment. Of course shopping.

Not sure there's an answer where kids would b happy and parents could be happy and also have money for it. Its a big ask for family to watch kids for a whole week every year, lets say, but At best, parents should book a camp for kids for 1-2 weeks, and go on vacation, no 'emergency calls' unless dead or break a bone, even then call Grandma.

Honestly, if I had kids, I'd send them to camp, book a hotel room for me and spouse, being away from home/chores, etc., and just fuck away the week. Go to diff bars and some nice restaurants to dress up for, maybe normal stuff like movies, a concert, even a bar band, and do all the normal things you cant do w/ kids, and since u never have time to fuck w/ kids in the house, I'd make a point to fuck my brains out. But that is me. Ha!

Wow, another horrible trip w/ the kid. I wonder if the Moo here regretted convincing her hub to bring the kid bcz from this story, she seemed like a shell of herself after the dinner they had by themselves. I have to admit much of Regretful Parents and Breaking Moo have really thoughtful Posters these days. It used to be just a bunch of Moos whining, but all self inflicted bcz they dont know how to parent their bratz. Altho this current age of parents are so much more accepting that their kids are just acting age appropriately, but that being said, the underlying unspoken stuff in these posts might be that they likely are doing whatever kind of mode of Gentle Parenting they decide, which usually means there is never a consequence, just a distraction from the unwanted behavior, hence the iPad. But the parents are servants to the kyd's whims the whole day, no wonder they are tired. I think it is why many say they are 1 and done, they can't handle it, and it has nothing to do w/ money. I googled and it confirmed that there is a big uptick in only children.

But here, this Moo wanted Brat on vacay w/ them against Duhd's wishes, she ruined their time off work and ruined everyone's elses time on the plane too. I would love to know if there was any follow up discussion about this choice.
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From RegretfulParents sub:

Another trip ruined by our 2 year old.

My wife has family on a Caribbean island a 10-hour flight away and I told her that it just was not a good idea to go on this trip with our 2-year-old. He is defiant, obnoxious, energetic, needy, whiny, and picky. All of the things that you would expect the 2-year-old to be.

However she was insistent and over the course months of asking she finally wore me down and I regrettably capitulated. He screamed and cried for at least half of the 10-hour flight. I felt so terrible for everyone else around us but we just could not get him to calm down. We brought toys, snacks, we even let him play with the iPad which we never do at home but to no avail. There were times where he would scream and cry for over an hour on end which I was shocked at because I thought that he would eventually wear himself out sooner than that but nope, not my son.

He never slept more than 2 hours at a time so my wife and I took turns getting up with them so neither of us got any meaningful amount of sleep. He screamed, cried, and whined the entire week, we couldn't do anything for more than an hour or two because he was having an absolute meltdown no matter where we were so in order to not ruin everyone else's time, we just packed up and went back to the house. This caused a rift between my wife and I because we were snapping at each other a lot, born from the frustration of being exhausted and constantly dealing with a toddler screaming in our faces every 5 minutes.

Our family offered to watch him so that we could go out to dinner just the two of us but you were so tired and on edge from being at each other's throats the entire week we hardly said anything. We had planned to walk on the beach after dinner but I asked if she just wanted to go back to the house and she mumbled "yeah" without looking at me.

I don't blame the 2 year old for acting like a 2 year old, but I wonder if I truly regret having him.

Here are some comments:

---Even when they behave, all vacations are ruined to accommodate them.

---Vacation with kids is basically you are miserable somewhere else

---Who brings a toddler on a 10 hour flight with behavior issues!? My husband wanted to bring my kid to be IN a wedding for a family member. It was a 2 hour flight. I said absolutely not. She will not behave on a plane and your family there are strangers who she will not want to be around. She also doesnt know these people why does she need to be in the wedding?This IS a very good question, and why did Duhd want it so bad, usually men dont care about this stuff

I lost the fight with the compromise that he had full charge of the kid. I wasn't playing super mom. Any issues she was all his. He spent 6 hours chasing her screaming in airport due to a delay while I read my book. She cried on the plane. He had to handle it. She screamed the entire morning before the wedding. I refused to handle it again even though I got dirty looks from his family.

She refused to walk down the aisle and was so loud she had to be taken outside the church -- this I did handle because its his family getting married. At the reception she broke lit candles by tossing them on the floor in front of the bride and groom.

KIDS DONT BELONG ON LONG FLIGHTS TO SPEND TIME IN UNFAMILIAR ENVIRONMENTS THEY AREN'T GONNA LIKE.
Maybe you will be nicer than me and not tell your wife "I warned ya"

---I once had to learn this lesson as well. I convinced my husband to take a week long vacation in Milano, Italy, with two small children in August. It was incredibly hot, the kids screamed or ran away the whole time and my husband and I were exhausted beyond words. My older child, then 2 years old, kicked our table in a cafe out of frustration and sent the table and everything on it flying. It was a desaster. It's been 16 years since then and we now laugh about it. I had to accept that vacations with children are a completely different animal. You need to plan them differently and cater to the children, otherwise everyone will be in hell.Could you imagine the costs of this trip and the flight, why would you think toddlers would be fun in Italy? Isn't it all walking and browsing insides and outsides of buildings and other quiet adult stuff? Eating delightful food at sorta nice cafes and restaurants?


https://www.reddit.com/r/regretfulparents/comments/1vgqorj/another_trip_ruined_by_our_2_year_old/

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At least these people admit their mistakes. I am happy to know that Breeders get their comeuppance and get to be miserable on vacation, and literally call it 'hell', after probably thinking offspring are a joy. But I'd say decades past parunts never were very honest about it, hence, it's all worth it crap. Then again, back in the day, I didnt know many parunts taking Caribbean or Italy vacay w/ kids. That usually would be a trip pushed aside to a landmark anniversary or retirement.

Anyone stupid enough to take a child, especially a baby or a toddler, deserves what they get.

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Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!