I just love reading the Stepparent subreddit every day

Ive said it before on another thread, but I luv luv luv it.

They all tell all the taboo truths about parunthood, and it doesnt matter if they have their own kids too,or have a new biological child w/ their spouse.

All the guilty divorced parunts letting their kids run the house w/ no rules or consequences, no chores for any child of any age. All the carting around to events and appointments. Them too all admitting that they cant wait for the kids to grow up, and that includes the bio parents saying the same thing. The 'theyre only young once, so enjoy it' is a fallacy they say becz they too all admit that they can do w/o the "little kid years" of 5-8 or so. Cant wait for the teens to get the hell out either. Some of the stepparents have known the kids from toddlerhood, so this is watching them grow up into shitty snotty kids and hating them as they grow. They all chime in and calculate how many years they have left till the kid just gets out of the house and console each other with that. (good luck w/ the failure to launch crowd)

I wonder if I could love anyone so much to become a stepparent. It's awful. But much is this is brought on by modern parenting...the cosleeping, that goes on and on into grade school years, the delay in potty training, the delay in teaching kids how to wipe their butts, the delay of giving ANY age appropriate chores, the making of another meal if the different kids wont eat it, the constant asking for snacks(this seems to be a regular thing), the putting up w/ sassy mouths, disrespect, bad behavior, bad grades, failure to launch, constant all day scrolling and loud video games that disturb the whole house, they wedge themselves between the couple when the couple shows any affection...which is bizarre to me bcz this seems to go on w/ the kids at all ages. IDK about you guys, I wasnt 'hugging' 'cuddling' w/ my parents all the time like a lover thru out the day or on the couch. Maybe before I was 5 but I would hug kiss them goodbye and good nite, stuff like that, and I certainly didnt see it in other fams I visited, the little siblings didnt do it in front of me while I was visiting my pals. All the things these stepparents complain about are totally foreign to me. This stuff just didnt go on when I was a child in the olden days lol My mom had it ez in comparison,and had virtually none of these probs becz the adults just didnt put up w/ it. But todays kids use their parents as their main entertainment and slavery it seems.

Once my MIL got mad at me for speaking frankly about women and the misery drudgery of raising kids, I wish I could recall my exact words, and she immediately said "Its not drudgery!!!" and was miffed the rest of the night. But she's the breeder who always says shes happy when the grandkids go home. But I wish I could pull up this subreddit and read it out loud together with her. I think she'd be cool if I was a moo, and complained, but I'm not allowed to comment bcz Im CF.

So the babies are too dependent and overwhelming on parents, The toddlers get into things and also dependent w/ butt wiping etc., the little kid years are miserable, Ive heard 10-12 is a sweet spot for raising kids but I've also heard the exact opposite, then everyone braces for the teen years and they are hateful and miserable, then they go to college and come back and still walk all over you and have resentful personalities. Sooo, exactly WHEN is parenthood a fucking joy and so worth it??? The subreddit posters say all this terrible stuff even when they DO like the kids and have a supportive spouse!

And, with knowing all this, people get remarried and have second families? How can this be? One poster even said to the OP of a thread, youre almost out of the woods w/ the stepkid, why are you adding to your family now? (I mean if I was doing something that caused so much misery after I thought I wanted it so bad, I wouldnt go out and buy/get another of the same thing to deal w/ for 20 odd years, would you?)

And, honestly, depending what is going on in the marriage, I'm not sure I would ever get divorced after reading this subreddit either, Your life is so not your own w/ the scheduling and emergencies and changes and carting kids around. Might as well sleep at work and just not have a personal life bcz you dont have one anyway.


But my fave pastime is reading this site every day, I find much satisfaction and joy in it. I find it just so truthful and refreshing. Sucks to be Moo as we say. hahaha

That subreddit is gold for breeder and breeder pleaser watching.

The most ironic part are the stepparents/steppartners without kids who have to put up with the spawn's bullshit. No, they don't have to put up with it, they can choose to not get involved with somebody that has kids. It's not that hard to do. And it always seems to be the childfree/childless women roped into being a stepparent, because the sperm donor doesn't want to deal with the product of his dick and tries to rope a woman without baggage into his messy life.

So glad that won't ever be me.

One thing i notice a lot on the stepparents subreddit is, sooo many of the step kyds allegedly have an ADHD diagnosis.

One thing I notice on the childfree subreddit is, sooo many posters claim to be autistic themselves.

Everyone claims neurodivergence.

Other observations on r/stepparents is, the bio parent doesnt really want to be around the kyds, of course the stepparent doesnt want to be saddled w/ their kyd when they are supposed to be spending their precious custody time together. Also, the other bio-parents dont seem to want to be around said kyds either, as long as they know they have a built-in option of just dumping the kyd off on non-visitation days bcz they 'had enough' and 'need a break'. So, no adult involved really wants to be around the kyds. And, no adult wants to set boundaries/consequences so life would be better for the household.

(all these ppl should go back to free range parenting, most of the prob is parenting has become a 24/7 hands on over-involved job, not the days where kids went out and just played for hours)



Tell me again why people question our Childfreedom?????

Yet another thing I notice is it is now normal on r/regretfulparents and r/stepparents for these frazzled parents to actually suggest divorce to other frazzled parents so at least you only have to deal with your shit life as a (bio) parent 50% the time. Imagine how much everyone really hates parenthood to suggest that? Sometimes they ain't saying there's a big prob w/ the other spouse, just that they both tired and miserable and they don't have fun or talk much anymore. Wow.

This generation of parents are very vocal and honest about their misery, that is for sure. Becz back in the 90s you had to read between the lines and/or just hear the real complaints before they say It's all worth it, or I'm just tired. Evidently, it isn't all worth it to even stay with their spouse or even see their ever so precious children every day! Kids are kids, but to say that it isn't the kids' fault your marriage sucks is so wrong. Kids arent doing it on purpose, but they do ruin a marriage. Of course, every adult could manage their emotions/reactions, but evidently that is a monumental task, and it has ruined a vast majority of people's lives.

So glad I saw thru this shit long long ago. I do notice all those people who couldn't understand my decision, and warned me (or their selves) that I would regret it, they certainly dont check up on me now asking if I regret it, etc. I thought they cared about me! LOL Most of their kids are adults now, and I guess they look back thinking there's not much for me to regret w/ the day-to-day stuff w/ parenting. They love their kids, but there still is new drama, even if it is self-imposed. They worry now, oh...Kids got a job in another state and are dating...oh, they won't live by me if they get married then...and a buncha other controlling nonsense. As usual, sux to be Moo!!!

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cfuter
One thing i notice a lot on the stepparents subreddit is, sooo many of the step kyds allegedly have an ADHD diagnosis.

One thing I notice on the childfree subreddit is, sooo many posters claim to be autistic themselves.

Everyone claims neurodivergence.

If everyone is autistic, then it's shouldn't be considered a disease or condition. I'd like to know how many of these people have a legitimate, doctor-diagnosed case of autism, ADHD, or any other similar issue. Because between medical care being unaffordable and the availability of Google and AI, it's VERY easy to just diagnose yourself with autism. I think some people just use it as an excuse for them and/or their children to act like dumbasses and get away with it. All they have to do is say, "Sorry, I'm autistic" and they can apparently act however they please. It's like putting a "student driver" sticker on your car and using it as an excuse to drive like a fucktard (which I have admittedly considered doing to my mother's car).

I really don't know why anyone would want to be a stepparent willingly. You get all the responsibilities and hassle of being a parent, but you don't have any of the authority or rights. You can't punish/ground/spank a stepchild, and the kids will be happy to tell you that you aren't their real mother/father and they don't have to listen to you and will disrespect you at every turn. But oh, the kids need a mommy/daddy and money! It's like buying a used car, but doing it with a learner's permit and a constant backseat driver. The sex canNOT be that good to justify the bullshit of trying to raise someone else's kids. And I see plenty of steps saying they feel like intruders or outsiders because the brats don't really welcome a replacement parent and the stepparents don't bond with them.

It's quite telling that, if you look at the top posts of all time in r/stepparents, most of them are about the stepparent leaving.