Another one to file under Never Date/live with/Marry a breeder

From my fave sub r/stepparents:



I saw SK drink straight from the milk carton on the weekend, and when I mentioned I was 99% certain I saw that, SO immediately said "Well I didn't see it so I'm not able to say anything". Um, Why? Another ADULT IN THE HOUSE saw it. This aint a sib 'tattling' You dont tell the school, well, I cant say anything to junior about this offense at school bcz I dIdNt SeE iT I felt like my own perception was invalidated. Previously, I believed his son to have damaged some property of mine, as he has past form for this, and my partner immediately said "It could have already have been like that. There is no proof".Did it break by itself? Possible, not probable. These rationalizations themselves are very childlike, especially for a parent to use

When I said to him that both these times have made me feel like my own feelings and beliefs don't matter, he get really annoyed with me, labelled me as emotional, and had such a mean tone when saying "So what do you want me to do" and then flew up the stairs to tell SS I had stated he had drank out of the carton, which he denied, of course.

The next day when I tried to tell him how upsetting his words and his tone was towards me, he said he wasn't being nasty or dismissive at all-yet he was. I said I found it so upsetting to be invalidated, and couldn't believe that he hadn't said sorry for his nastiness when all I wanted was to explain to him how hurtful I found his immediate dismissiveness. His reaction was to say: " Well why don't you break up with me then if you feel that way".IDK their financial set up or relationship, but I woulda immediately obliged him on this without further comment. I wouldnt be asking Reddit for advice

What would you do if you were in my position...I am CF myself, 42 years old, and just feeling so tired of the lack of respect. His son will often just not reply to me if I say hello, and just this weekend, stole my seat as soon as I got up to go to the bathroom (my book and drink were there), sat himself next to my SO, and when I returned and stood next to him, to prompt him to move, didn't move.

When I asked my SO why he didn't ask his kid to move, he replied "I didn't notice". He didnt notice her standing right next to him? Didnt notice the child took the seat on purpose? GF was there, then your son was there, what exactly didnt you notice dude? I mean Again, I wouldnt sit next to him ever again, and depending on the lease, I'd be out by the end of the month or whatever time period suited me

Am I going crazy, being over sensitive etc, or in the wrong here...I am just so exhausted I cannot think straight. I could be making a big deal out of nothing. I am sensitive, come from a violent childhood, and have a freeze response when things happen.


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I know its so ez to say break up w/ the dude, but it wouldnt take me long to be way over this relationship. Youre an adult living in the household, the dad could even say you need to listen to 'Girlfriend' too, i know my parents expected me to listen to any adult that was in my house or their house when visiting, There was no 'live here, but dont tell my kid not to drink outta the carton' crap. This dude knows kid denying wrong-doing is a lie nonetheless. But that taking the seat, the whole thing is so juvenile, and if kid wants to show he trumps her, and parent is purposely blind to it, I'd trump myself right out the fucking door. You do some of this hand-wringing when younger about relationships but at 42 and the dude talking to her like this, out the door, I'm not a 2nd class citizen in my own home or even while visiting BF. These guilty divorced dads, and fun dads are so frustrating even to read about, cant imagine living w/ one, or dating one. That's what most stepparents say, they are no longer attracted to SO watching them be terrible parents and Disney Dads. The stepdads complain about the bio Moos too. Don't know how kids will ever grow up since so many parents literally look for excuses not to reprimand wrong-doing.


Never ever date a breeder. This should be the first commandment of the CF, and even the CL

I don't know why anyone would willingly sign up to be a stepparent. The sex cannot possibly be that good to justify dealing with the shit stepparents deal with. It is very very telling when, if you search the stepparents sub-Reddit by best posts of all time, many of the top posts are people celebrating their breakups.

Why is this woman with this jackass if she's CF? It's very clear neither he nor the kid give a crap about her. I assume she must be desperate for a relationship, but you can't tell me this is better than being single. When Duh's reaction to her having a problem with his behavior is, "Well why don't you leave then," I don't think there is anything worth sticking around for. He refuses to admit he or his kid is wrong, and immediately suggests breaking up when confronted about his attitude. I hope she leaves and lets him and his little carton sucker live happily ever after.

What exactly is she getting out of this relationship besides stress?

She's sad that her feelings are dismissed, and what does he do when she tells him that? DISMISSES THEM AGAIN VERY BLATANTLY! Depending on what I had going on at work the next day, I woulda turned my heel, got a duffle bag out and packed at least my bag for the nite and gone to a hotel. Or, the longest I woulda waited is the following weekend.

There is no upside to marrying someone with kids when you don't have any. Even Breeders with kids don't want to marry other people with kids, precisely because these kinds of problems.

Most divorced Dads are totally lame. If they leave their marriage, they feel guilty and they let their kids get away with murder. If they are left, they are bitter and angry and they want to be Disneyland Dad to try and convince the brats to live with them. So the kids get away with murder.

Guilty parents make bad parents.

So not worth it.