Tales from the Smothering swamp

I should really, really be doing the work that's due to my client tomorrow, but here I sit, making one of my huge lists of WTFery. But hey, I haven't done one of these in a while and since my client is three hours behind me as far as time, I should be able to spare tonight.

Tonight's discoveries include:

- Brat-tard likes to beat the crap out of the family dog and kick Daddy in the face. Retard by the name of Mee.mee says that a child cannot abuse an adult and the child isn't an "a-hole" and that this is totally typical toddler behavior. Solution: wail the fucker any time he hits another living thing, and wail him hard. Ta-da! http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=1259894

- Mommy doesn't want to hear that her non-discipline techniques are the reason why her kid is a brat from other people. Sorry if the truth hurts, Moo, but denying it isn't making your "spirited" little defect any better behaved. http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=1263578

- Persistent five-year-old brat sits through two time-outs just so she can emerge and continue her screaming tantrum over not being allowed to draw with a permanent marker. Of course, people blame food sensitivity and not the poster's piss-poor parenting. http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=1262293

- Stupid kid doesn't swallow food and chews the same bite for hours on end. Not bad parenting, but just...ick. http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=1263561

- Tween aww-tard thinks virtual school (WTF?) is optional and prefers to play in the bathroom rather than do school work. Fails everything. Pretends like he's going to throw up when he has to take his Ritalin. Child is also on the school hip hop team...yeah, time to take him out behind the shed. He's sick beyond repair. http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=1263377

- Moo babysits a toddler who is disciplined for real by his own parents. Moo is sad that her own kids are now re-enacting this child's "physical violence." And someone had to say it..."Oh, don't hit the BABY!" http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=1262510

- Teen gets his phone taken away for a day at school for using it during class. Moo feels he's Suffered Enough^TM, but the father wants to ground the kid in addition. Dad says Moo isn't a real parent since she won't discipline the kid. Of course, Duh is just an ignorant soul not yet educated in the ways of GD because he had a bad childhood. http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=1260497

- Lady who runs a home-based daycare took her own child to the bathroom to spank her. GD Moo no likey her child being exposed to real discipline because it might show what a jelly-spine she is scar him for life. http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=1261113

- Sneaky little brat likes to buy stuff and likes to play with and steal money at age 7. Boy, she'll be adorable by the time she's a teenager. http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=1261946

- Moo hates that her kid wants attention 24/7, so she borrows a library book on raising a kid for the first few years of its life. Claims an overly cliny and depepndent kid is the result of co-sleeping, which Moo-tard is doing. Of course, she "knows it's BS." http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=1257011

- Asshole 5-year-old bites his teenage stepbrother hard enough to draw blood, so the step-sibling throws the kid over his knee and beats the kid's ass hard enough to leave hand prints. He apologizes, but stands firm in the belief that the kid deserved a spanking. Good on this teen boy who is a better parent that Moo. Of course, the other Moos are having a fit, saying Stepson "assaulted" Brat, and Moo should call the cops if he does it again. BUT, some sane Moos are looking out for SS and suggesting he get a tetanus shot (he should; who knows how many toilets that mouth has been on) http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=1259714

- "Unschooling, unconditional parenting household," and Mommy wonders why her kid is a little asshole. http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=1257831

- Mommy flat-out decides that since her efforts to wrangle and raise her kids are failing, she's just not going to even bother trying to control them any longer. She feels it's a successful parenting strategy thus far. Truly non-discipline. http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=1254284

- At-home water birth ends with newborn inhaling water, going into respiratory distress and developing pneumonia. What a great start to life. One commenter claims she can't find any valid evidence about the dangers of water birthing. Probably because none of them end with, "Oh we were kidding! Birf that baybee in that pool!" http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=1263517

- Scroll down to user named "Multi Momma." Moo has two un-vaxed aww-tards, two vaccinated aww-tards, four others with no noticable issues and what will surely be Aww-tard number nine on the way. Holy shit, someone shut down the retard factory yesterday! But people are arguing about how many people have unvaxed aww-tards compared to vaxed. http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=1261943

- Home-birfin' Moo pissed that her husband wouldn't go to pre-natal classes with her and complained all the time about how tired he was. People suggest counseling...odds are if he didn't want to go to pre-Moo classes, he sure as hell won't want to go to counseling either. http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=1254910

- Anybody remember the story from a while ago about the Moo whose ex took their child to the UK? I guess she hasn't actually gotten off her ass to try and get him back, and people were pretty much telling her how bad of a mother she is for not trying to find out if she can get him back. So she deleted her topic's original content because "too many people were judging her." Methinks she's glad to have the kid away from her, but wanted the attention from having an abducted child. http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=1245332&page=3

- Woman cries for hours on end because her husband wants to have their newborn son circumcised. Much arguing between the new parents ensues (and the husband threatening her with divorce), and while Moo doesn't give consent for the procedure, Duh does. So their son is now unpeeled and Moo cries every time she changes his diaper. I know many folks have differing opinions on this matter, but really...it's a fucking piece of skin. I mean this husband sounds like a loser anyhow, but really, people scream and bitch and get divorced over their child's penis skin? Yeesh. http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=1263259

That's all I got for this week. Join us again next time for another installment of Shit We Won't Ever Have To Deal With.

LOL Cambion! I enjoyed reading your synopses!:yr


All of the ones pertaining to whiner-moos and "gentle discipline" make me wanna puke. These women are spineless, stupid, and generally speaking are horrible parents! They also have a tendency to cover their ears and hum loudly when anyone with a voice of reason tries to comment or intervene on the kyd's behalf. As for the "no vax" and "no circ" crowds, they just go way way way overboard on those issues along with everything else. WHY won't these women listen to people who HAVE a penis when it comes to this "no circ" nonsense? I agree that it's a controversial subject, but it really doesn't need to be! If duddy wants the kyd's dick snipped, then so be it! Who better to make a kyddie penis decision than the father of the boy?

Once a while ago, I posted about one of those wailing "NO CIRC!" moo's stories that was laughably absurd! She went on and on and on, paragraph after dramatic paragraph, lamenting over having been "ignorant" with her first son and having him "disfigured", "butchered", and how not a DAY goes by that she doesn't apologize to her chylllld, and how she NEVER allowed her other boys to be "mutilated", so forth and so on. I began to picture this poor little kyd with a fucked up dick and THEN, in the very last sentence or two, she kinda reveals that her "chyld" is THIRTY SIX YEARS OF AGE!!!!!!! Can you imagine the life that he must have led? She STILL apologizes to him for the "mutiliation". I am certain that this didn't do very much for his self esteem growing up. JEEZ.

As for the "no vax" nutjobs, their kyd should NOT be allowed to mingle with or among the general public unless or until they have contracted whatever disease it is in question and develop a natural immunity, OR until they get the damned vaccination. They should be REQUIRED to homeschool and keep the little bastard quarantined until he is no longer a threat to public health and safety, NO EXCEPTIONS. The "water birth" set are idiots and what a disgusting thing to watch too and of course they want people "in the pool" with them. I watched a water birth documentary that had a fugly moo in the pool along with her husband AND her 9 year old kyd who started crying! A steady stream of what appeared to be shit and blood was floating through the water and moomare was crying and wailng, JUST ridiculous. On the duddy who refuses to attend the pre-moo classes, he will NO DOUBT be an absentee duddy, but it's a bit too late now for that moocow.m

The woman with the kyd snatched and dragged to England couldn't be happier of course, but how could she be expected to pass up the glory and sympathy that comes along with an "abduction"? The only thing on the kidlesskim "Child Loss Moo Hierarchy" scale that would surpass an "abduction", in reference to the attention and sympathy meter points, would be a STRANGER abduction. So, naturally she wants to milk that udder for ALL that it's worth! Kyds drawing blood, kicking famblee pets, and hitting duddy in the face just need to be spanked. However, that kyd chewing over and over without swallowing might be some sort of a "special needs" problem, much like the kyd who gnaws the necklines out of his t-shirts on another thread. It's hard to tell what are genuine "special needs" problems and which are just bad behavior because they ALL seem to have "special needs" now. In general, these "GD" Moos are definately among the WORST moomies out there, without a doubt!:gross

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

I happen to be against infant circumcision on the grounds that parents should not be able to make permanent changes to an infant's body (except out of medical necessity[*])--such things should wait until the child is able to reason and can make the decision for him or herself. It doesn't make sense to me that parents are allowed to get a little girl's ears pierced, and cut off a little boy's foreskin, yet at the same time they can't give the baby a tattoo or bind its feet or do whatever they like in the name of aesthetics and/or religion. Although it isn't as serious an issue as many things which are banned (such as female circumcision), it nonetheless involves a parent making a decision about the child's physical form based on the parent's values, which the child may not later share. (I'm pleased to note that in my country there is some consideration being given to this issue: the Royal Dutch Medical Association (KNMG) stated in 2010 that non-therapeutic male circumcision "conflicts with the child’s right to autonomy and physical integrity." )

That said, if both the mother and father had such strong feelings on the issue that they were willing to divorce over it, one would think they might have discussed it up-front along with all the other deal-breaking stuff. Just as you must discuss whether you plan to have children before you marry someone, you must talk about how you will discipline, what religion you will raise the child up in, and other strongly-held views concerning child-rearing before you have a child with someone. Both parents are fucking morons in this case.


[*] I am aware that in some cases, circumcision is medically necessary (search for phimosis if you want to see some icky photos), but in most cases it is an elective surgery and therefore it should not be performed on infants. I know that there have been studies about HIV transmission which suggest that circumcision can be beneficial, but surely the individual can make an informed decision about that once he reaches sexual maturity.

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kidlesskim
The "water birth" set are idiots and what a disgusting thing to watch too and of course they want people "in the pool" with them. I watched a water birth documentary that had a fugly moo in the pool along with her husband AND her 9 year old kyd who started crying! A steady stream of what appeared to be shit and blood was floating through the water and moomare was crying and wailng, JUST ridiculous.

What the hell is WRONG with people? Do you have a link?

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Miss_Hannigan

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kidlesskim
The "water birth" set are idiots and what a disgusting thing to watch too and of course they want people "in the pool" with them. I watched a water birth documentary that had a fugly moo in the pool along with her husband AND her 9 year old kyd who started crying! A steady stream of what appeared to be shit and blood was floating through the water and moomare was crying and wailng, JUST ridiculous.

What the hell is WRONG with people? Do you have a link?

It was on TLC a while back on one of those preggo shows, but I can't remember which one. I believe it was one of the "Baybees: Special Delivery" episodes.

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

And you know what else bothers me about gentle discipline? Soft language is making an entire generation soft and fearful. In the western world, we discipline children with talk. "Hitting Daddy with the nine-iron was wrong. We do not hit people." In other countires, they're strapping bombs to gradeschoolers and handing out guns for birthday gifts. Kids know that their group/tribe has enemies that want to hurt their families.

Flash-forward thirty years - the scene is the press room in the White House, and a timid Shitford is at the podium. "Blowing up buildings is wrong. We do not tolerate people who use violence to further their..." and the broadcast is cut off from the blast of a nuke over D.C.

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- Persistent five-year-old brat sits through two time-outs just so she can emerge and continue her screaming tantrum over not being allowed to draw with a permanent marker. Of course, people blame food sensitivity and not the poster's piss-poor parenting. http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=1262293

I truly don't understand these "food sensitivity" ones. I would like that being sensitive to a certain food would make you sick as a dog, not as active as a coked up howler money.

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"Not every ejaculation deserves a name" - George Carlin

"Coked up howler monkey"....LMAO!

Also, love the Carlin quote!

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LoveToLurk

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- Persistent five-year-old brat sits through two time-outs just so she can emerge and continue her screaming tantrum over not being allowed to draw with a permanent marker. Of course, people blame food sensitivity and not the poster's piss-poor parenting. http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=1262293

I truly don't understand these "food sensitivity" ones. I would like that being sensitive to a certain food would make you sick as a dog, not as active as a coked up howler money.

Yeah, since WHEN does a "food sensitivity" cause a brat to swack someone in the face? That is PURE bullshit, plain and simple. I am "sensitive" to Red Dye#7 in food products, but Hawaain Punch or certain brands of hot dogs have never caused me to knock someone's teeth out!

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

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LoveToLurk
I truly don't understand these "food sensitivity" ones. I would like that being sensitive to a certain food would make you sick as a dog, not as active as a coked up howler money.

Actually, there is one substance which does that to me. Solution: I avoid eating it.

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yurble
I happen to be against infant circumcision on the grounds that parents should not be able to make permanent changes to an infant's body (except out of medical necessity[*])--such things should wait until the child is able to reason and can make the decision for him or herself. It doesn't make sense to me that parents are allowed to get a little girl's ears pierced, and cut off a little boy's foreskin, yet at the same time they can't give the baby a tattoo or bind its feet or do whatever they like in the name of aesthetics and/or religion. Although it isn't as serious an issue as many things which are banned (such as female circumcision), it nonetheless involves a parent making a decision about the child's physical form based on the parent's values, which the child may not later share. (I'm pleased to note that in my country there is some consideration being given to this issue: the Royal Dutch Medical Association (KNMG) stated in 2010 that non-therapeutic male circumcision "conflicts with the child’s right to autonomy and physical integrity." )

That said, if both the mother and father had such strong feelings on the issue that they were willing to divorce over it, one would think they might have discussed it up-front along with all the other deal-breaking stuff. Just as you must discuss whether you plan to have children before you marry someone, you must talk about how you will discipline, what religion you will raise the child up in, and other strongly-held views concerning child-rearing before you have a child with someone. Both parents are fucking morons in this case.


[*] I am aware that in some cases, circumcision is medically necessary (search for phimosis if you want to see some icky photos), but in most cases it is an elective surgery and therefore it should not be performed on infants. I know that there have been studies about HIV transmission which suggest that circumcision can be beneficial, but surely the individual can make an informed decision about that once he reaches sexual maturity.

THIS X1000000!!!! I too would NEVER circ my son (should I go off the deep end and decide I want kyds) unless it also medically necessary. I have cared for infants who were intact and circ'd. It's really no different. I blame her husband on this one. It look like they DID talk about it and he said he "didn't care". Meh, ok. His friends probably talked him into it saying he'd get teased if he wasn't cut. Erm, no, not true. If that's the case, he needs to grow a fucking spine and stand up to his friends. Also, I thought doctors would only circ if BOTH parents were in agreement. I guess not. But still, what a horrible thing for her husband to do. As for piercing a baby girl's ears? At least earrings can be removed, the holes will close, and if not? It's not terribly noticeable. The foreskin is the most sensitive part of the penis, the only reason we started circumsising was to prevent masturbation. It's been proven many times over that it doesn't make the penis cleaner. However, I won't berate parents should they choose to circ their sons. Would I choose it? No. While I am against it, I don't care what other people do with their son's penises. Oh, and there IS a difference between having sex with an intact penis and a circ'd one. Or at least I noticed a difference.

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What is a home without children? Quiet. ~Henny Youngman

I don't want people who want to dance, I want people who have to dance. ~George Balanchine

"I took the batteries out of my biological clock and put them in my vibrator"

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CF_Amy

THIS X1000000!!!! I too would NEVER circ my son (should I go off the deep end and decide I want kyds) unless it also medically necessary. I have cared for infants who were intact and circ'd. It's really no different. I blame her husband on this one. It look like they DID talk about it and he said he "didn't care". Meh, ok. His friends probably talked him into it saying he'd get teased if he wasn't cut. Erm, no, not true. If that's the case, he needs to grow a fucking spine and stand up to his friends. Also, I thought doctors would only circ if BOTH parents were in agreement. I guess not. But still, what a horrible thing for her husband to do. As for piercing a baby girl's ears? At least earrings can be removed, the holes will close, and if not? It's not terribly noticeable. The foreskin is the most sensitive part of the penis, the only reason we started circumsising was to prevent masturbation. It's been proven many times over that it doesn't make the penis cleaner. However, I won't berate parents should they choose to circ their sons. Would I choose it? No. While I am against it, I don't care what other people do with their son's penises. Oh, and there IS a difference between having sex with an intact penis and a circ'd one. Or at least I noticed a difference.

I have a preference as well, but that's certainly not the basis of my opinions on this matter I think there is a continuum of irreversible physical things you can do to your child. At the extreme end is FGM and foot-binding. Most physical abuse that people get arrested for is near that end as well, although in my opinion not as severe. Male circumcision is near the milder end, but it's still a matter of parents mutilating their child to fit in with their views of how he should look. Still, it should be considered in perspective: people who liken it to FGM have seriously lost all sense of perspective.

Earpiercing is probably at the most mild end of it, but those holes never vanish. I had my ears pierced for about one year (by my own choice), and haven't had earrings in over a decade, and you can still see the scars/feel lumps in my earlobe (they get infected, too, from time to time). Now, it was my choice, and my parents made me wait until I was older to decide, so I can't blame anyone, but I think I'd be resentful if the choice had been made for me.

For some reason the consensus seems to be that it's okay to make permanent physical changes to your child, so long as your changes aren't offensive in your culture. There's little discussion of it as a broader issue of parental aesthetics or religion being forced upon the body of the child. However, since I'm CF, I have mostly an intellectual interest in this. It doesn't make me froth at the mouth since in the grand scale of human rights violations this is almost irrelevant.

The prison population will explode once these kids reach adulthood. They'll treat the outside world like their house and just do what they want, willy-nilly. Then they'll act surprised when the mean old judge actually punishes them with prison time instead of a firm but gentle and loving lecture. :smn

I just got done reading the thread in the Child Led Weaning section about this woman whose milk has dried up b/c she's impregnated and wants to "dry nurse" her 3 yo daughter. After I had thrown up in my mouth a little I got a little angry at this. This is for the mother's benefit now and not the child's. This IMO is all sorts of wrong to have your kid suckle at your bosom just to suckle and not get any "nourishment" out of it. Ewwww .

And to the mom whose gentle disciplining isn't working on her kid who kicks that dad and the dog...she needs to nip that in the bud as it seems she has herself another Ted Bundy on her hands.

Gentle discipline does not make sense. It MIGHT (maybe,maybe) work on someone who was already intelligent and well socialized into the society they are going to be part of, BUT, it will NOT work on someone who basically hasn't grown a brain yet. Children HAVE to be dealt with firmly and have to be under NO illusions about who is in charge. Sometimes a smack or two on the bottom is the only way to get that message across.

The thing with GD Moos is they are all talk and no action...they say "we don't hit, we don't put up with hitting, etc." but then when the kid goes and does it anyway (and they do, always), Moo will not actually do something to stop it. She won't swat the kid on the hand or butt to get his attention, won't take hold of his hands and say "stop," won't yell at him or raise her voice in any way. Just meekly talking at the kid while they go on happily causing trouble. If you want your kid to listen, you have to at least use a firm voice with them - if you're talking in your everyday JellySpine tone when they act up, that's not going to even get their attention. Shit, usually all I have to do when my cats misbehave is tell them "no" in a firm voice and move them away. My cats don't even understand English and they still respond to this, so a fucking kid should be able to get it too.

We're going to be looking at quite an interesting future with these special GD snowflakes...I wonder, will it be an instance of SO many (future) adults acting fearless in the face of authority and punishment that society as a whole has to lower its legal standards to suit these pricks so the prisons won't fill up overnight? You know, kind of like how they lowered the country's overall grade point average because so many kids are fucking stupid and had become the rule rather than the exception? These kids grow up with no authority figures in their life, and they are taught pretty much that THEY themselves are the authority, so when they have to deal with someone who is really socially above them, they'll fight for power. I foresee a lot more "stickin' it to the man" going on as a result of this. Strap in, folks - it's gonna be a hell of a ride.

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palominogrl_78
I just got done reading the thread in the Child Led Weaning section about this woman whose milk has dried up b/c she's impregnated and wants to "dry nurse" her 3 yo daughter. After I had thrown up in my mouth a little I got a little angry at this. This is for the mother's benefit now and not the child's. This IMO is all sorts of wrong to have your kid suckle at your bosom just to suckle and not get any "nourishment" out of it. Ewwww .

And to the mom whose gentle disciplining isn't working on her kid who kicks that dad and the dog...she needs to nip that in the bud as it seems she has herself another Ted Bundy on her hands.

There was a thread on here from that Child Led Weaning forum that someone found, it was about how the kid was beginning to reject the tit and the moo wanted advice on how to force him back to it. If I remember correctly the kid was old enough that he should have been off the tit for a long while anyway, but the moo tried to defend herself by saying that she felt it was too soon and would be unhealthy for the kid. Not very "child-led,' if you ask me. And of course all of the replies were tips on how to force him back on it, which proves that she wasn't the first to do it.

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"Not every ejaculation deserves a name" - George Carlin

Kudos to the sixteen year old who had the courage and tenacity to firmly discipline the bratty little family vampire! All the moos are saying that his punishment should be no more babysitting! Punishment? HAHAHA!

From the "virtual school" thread:

"He has a required time of 5 hours but if he's not messing around he can get things done much earlier and he has. He has gotten things done within 3 hours before so I know he can do it. I unschooled/relaxed homeschool with him for the last 3 years. He spent 90% or more of that time watching tv or playing on the computer. I felt like I was failing him so that's why I decided to do the virtual school. I have it set up so that Fridays are almost nothing to do except physical education and art. So its 4 days of the week with math, lang arts, science, and social studies. And like I said before he could do those subjects out of the book but he prefers to do them online."

So of course all the other moos immediately start riding her ass about how an 11-year-old can't possibly be expected to do 5 hours of school a day and that the other homeskoolers are only doing 2.5-3. WHAT THE FUCK?! Um, I'm pretty sure that I was in school for at least 7 hours a day even in Kindergarten. Also, what the FUCK did she think was going to happen when he's been allowed to do nothing but watch TV and play video games for 3 FUCKING YEARS.

I was in school (1rst-12th) for 8 hours A DAY! These non-schooled kids aren't going to have an iota of a clue about structure. We're doomed.

---

lab mom

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kidlesskim
Yeah, since WHEN does a "food sensitivity" cause a brat to swack someone in the face? That is PURE bullshit, plain and simple. I am "sensitive" to Red Dye#7 in food products, but Hawaain Punch or certain brands of hot dogs have never caused me to knock someone's teeth out!

Can I say I have a "baby/child, entitlemoo/breeder and dumbass sensitivity"? They make me want to knock someone's teeth out.

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What is a home without children? Quiet. ~Henny Youngman

I don't want people who want to dance, I want people who have to dance. ~George Balanchine

"I took the batteries out of my biological clock and put them in my vibrator"

Sounds like those "GD" idiots are actively raising a whole generation of cave dwellers!:hs

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kidlesskim
I am "sensitive" to Red Dye#7 in food products, but Hawaain Punch or certain brands of hot dogs have never caused me to knock someone's teeth out!

Haha me too! It made me hyperactive as a child and I got hives from it but I never hurt anyone.