Our cre8ive CF glossary

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fade_to_pale
Breederspawn wouldn't be cultured enough to consume sushi. I'm just sayin'.

Every hipster and his spawn eat sushi these days.

littellfucker: a little molly
little molly: see littellfucker

LMAO. I like it.

Feeder breeders: Breeders that overfeed their gluttonous brats even if said brats are little chubbos that can barely move let alone function.

Lardtards: Often times the feeder breeder's obese offspring but can also refer to other generally morbidly obese loaves.


We don't need MORE people on the planet, we need BETTER people.

“I don’t have pet peeves, I have major, psychotic fucking hatreds.”
— George Carlin

OH, LARDTARDS is my new favorite!

Speeshul: Like spayshul.

Anybody get greeder yet? Greedy + breeder. Greeders are the kind who send out birthday registry lists for their brats--for each birthday. They also expect showers for every brat, and moo usually expects "push presents" for giving birth.

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thom_c

Ashleigh

Depressing, but this honest-to-God used to be name. I had it legally changed. Many members of my family are still pissed about it and refuse to stop calling me that.

Pretty obvious why I don't hang out with my family much.

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zatoth
"trojan baby"-a child that is not typical. must be the first born (hence the "trojan horse" reference). a "trojan baby" does not scream, cry, demand, destroy things or cause any serious disturbance or problem. this lures parents into a false sense of security, believing child rearing is a piece of cake. they decide to have other children, or more aptly put-screaming banshees from hell.

we call these "teaser babies."

Most of my married friends now have children, the rewards of which appear to be exclusively intangible and, like the mysteries of some gnostic sect, incommunicable to outsiders. In fact it seems from the outside as if these people have joined a dubious cult: they claim to be much happier and more fulfilled than ever before, even though they live in conditions of appalling filth and degradation, deprived of the most basic freedoms and dignity, and owe unquestioning obedience to a capricious and demented master.
-Tim Kreider, “The Referendum”

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CFBitchfromLA
Anybody get greeder yet? Greedy + breeder. Greeders are the kind who send out birthday registry lists for their brats--for each birthday. They also expect showers for every brat, and moo usually expects "push presents" for giving birth.

love this! and lardtards. I call all small ones "podlings" ("look into the crystal, podling.").

_____________________________
I make stuff, and I post it on my blog.
http://resonanteye.net
In case you want to know who I am.

I am partial to moocunt, mombie (mom-zombie), duh, and crotch fruit.

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idgaf

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thom_c

Ashleigh

Depressing, but this honest-to-God used to be name. I had it legally changed. Many members of my family are still pissed about it and refuse to stop calling me that.

Pretty obvious why I don't hang out with my family much.

those that STILL call you that should be given unflattering nicknames, such as "Uncle Fatty" or "Aunt Assy".

Cootch/cooter/crotch cookie, muff munchkin.

We don't need MORE people on the planet, we need BETTER people.

“I don’t have pet peeves, I have major, psychotic fucking hatreds.”
— George Carlin

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frenzy
Cootch/cooter/crotch cookie, muff munchkin.

I still like "Cunt Dumpling".

One appliance none of us have is a Breederator. My mother has one, it is a usually older refrigerator covered with pictures of kids and relatives.

One of my sisters suggested that she should get a stainless steel French door refrigerator and I asked "Why, she will just cover it with pictures (but I guess that is what Kodak moments are for)."


Somehow when people have kids they just have to have the pictures everywhere. Why?

brood mare, brood sow.

_____________________________
I make stuff, and I post it on my blog.
http://resonanteye.net
In case you want to know who I am.

Oh, and don't forget, many older people have a console stereo in the living room. But in my mother's living room, she has a Breedereo.

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inky


love this! and lardtards. I call all small ones "podlings" ("look into the crystal, podling.").

Nice Dark Crystal reference!

PISS-TARDS

kyds that URINATE on their parunts. GROSS GROSS GROSS.

Don't know if this one's in here yet since I didn't read back incredibly far...

Water melon

I think this was from Miss_Hannigan. A term used to describe kids with hydraencephaly (basically water in place of a brain). Also a term that made me totally laugh my ass off.

And is "flap jacks" in here yet?

Ranty CF goodness (updated 3.23.2012)
Caffeinated Childfree

Awtard-Derogatory name given to people or their kids when they have chosen to self diagnose or fraudulently obtain a diagnosis of various neurological, psychological, or mental syndromes-disorders-illnesses for themselves or their kids, when none exist, for the purpose of attention, government benefits, as a way to explain away and gain acceptance for bad manners or lack of discipline, or a combination of all three. Most popular misdiagnoses include, but aren't limited to, Autism, Asperger's Syndrome, Bi-Polar Disorder, ADD, ODD, Schizophrenia, and various Tantrum disorders.

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

I'm not sure if this one was mentioned already, but my favorite is still Vagina Vomit....pretty self-explanitory!

I always liked "Shake and Bake"...

Regardless of if it is shaking the kid to death or baking it in a car... Breeders killing their own spawn.

Some people are like slinkies. They're really good for nothing, but they can still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

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bunny
I always liked "Shake and Bake"...

Regardless of if it is shaking the kid to death or baking it in a car... Breeders killing their own spawn.

That reminds me of a license plate I once saw in AZ...Something Awful has the pic:


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michaela

"A child will make two dishes at an entertainment for friends, and when the family dines alone, the fore or hind quarter will make a reasonable dish, and seasoned with a little pepper or salt, will be very good boiled on the fourth day, especially in winter." -Jonathan Swift, A Modest Proposal

Flesh turds. Oops #1, Oops #2, Oops #3, (and so on). . little uglies. little fuglies. vagina wrecking ball (VWB). womb worms. twatling. unhatched loaf. pigs in a cunt.