It's Mom Sexy week!

It's Mom Sexy week, you motherfuckers!

So thanks to Ms. Elizabeth Ross, whom I found on twitter, I was introduced to the Mommyologist. Her blog is all about what qualifies as Mom Sexy, even the humiliating things and by goodness, this is something I forget about all the time. I work with someone who is always trying to remind me to flaunt what I've got because if I'm not proud of it, no one else will be either. And she's right, but so is flaunting all the not so good things too, because being a Mom is the best, hardest, and most rewarding job ever.

EVER!

That's where Mom Sexy comes into play. For her one year blogoversary party, she's challenging all moms to shout out what makes them Mom Sexy. After a day like today - where I've been rushing around between day job and picking kids up and running to soccer practices and helping with homework and such...this Mom Sexy post will be a bit of a stretch, but I'm willing to give it go...

1. I may get my hair cut only twice a year, but I'm still Mom Sexy in rockin' ponytail.
2. I may buy clothes based on comfort instead of style, but I'm still Mom Sexy when I wear them.
3. My brain may feel like mush keeping up with everything, but I never forget my kids wants, needs, desires, and dreams and that makes me hella Mom Sexy.
4. I know every children's author worth reading, but not a single adult author and that makes me very Mom Sexy.
5. My heels are only a few inches high, but I still strut in them like I'm Mom Sexy.
6. I may not know how to dance anymore, but at least I'm still Mom Sexy when I do it.
7. I'm not as wrinkle free, stretchmark free, jiggly free, or stress free as I was 10 years ago, but gosh darn, I'm Mom Sexy anyhow!

So, there you go...

...now if only I can remember those things when I hit up the single bars next weekend. O_O

The extent to which these mares delude themselves or apply "magical thinking" is truly astounding. Wouldn't you like to get their wallets/duhds on truth serum or a few shots and see what they really think about "Mom Sexy?" larious

And for the record, any wannabe hipster using the adjective "hella" is triply pathetic.

(excerpt from this moo's man's blog, from which she selectively gleaned what inspired her to create mom-sexy week)
'Ny braim has turmed to dyslexic nush, cos I have to deal with the kids amd their mom-sexy nother.Simce havimg then, she has becone the nost mom-sexy wonam alive!'

8. My husband may be banging his CF secretary AND the barista chick at Starbucks, but I'm still Mom Sexy!!!

larious

Why do moos still want to be sexy?

They got knocked up SEVERAL TIMES!eyes2

10. when i take a shit, it comes out of my vagina... it's mom sexy!

12. My tits sag so much that they double as shin guards, but damn, I'm Mom Sexy!

Sexy does not require a qualifier. A qualifier basically says "this is not an objective measure." 'Mom sexy' is thus not even remotely equal to 'sexy'. Women who are actually sexy don't need to preface it with 'mom' even if they are parents.

I also wonder: in what way does doing mundane chores equate to sexy? Sexy involves inspiring sexual desire. Very few people are turned on by an extensive knowledge of children's authors or an encyclopedic knowledge of the wants and dreams of a couple of children. That would be like me saying I'm am sexy because I wash the dishes and my toilet is clean. Also, I just went grocery shopping and now the fridge is full--I'm so fucking sexy.

Mom sexy sounds like Orwelian double-speak for drab.

Actually the toilet and the fridge are now sexy.

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From a bottle cap message on a Magic Hat #9 beer: Condoms Prevent Minivans
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I want to pick up a bus full of unruly kids and feed them gummi bears and crack, then turn them loose in Hobby Lobby to ransack the place. They will all be wearing T shirts that say "You Could Have Prevented This."

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navi8orgirl
Actually the toilet and the fridge are now sexy.

Now that you mention it, I find myself looking at my fridge out of the corner of my eye. I have an urge to get it on with that brilliant eggplant with deep violet skin like the darkest of garnets or a rich, ruby red wine that's lurking inside my fridge, hinting at Old World decadence and gorgeous, fleshy women draped sensually across red velvet sofas.

Instead of nipple rings, I have a matching set of 72 month old IVF mywakles, it's HELLA mom-sexy!

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yurble
Sexy does not require a qualifier. A qualifier basically says "this is not an objective measure." 'Mom sexy' is thus not even remotely equal to 'sexy'. Women who are actually sexy don't need to preface it with 'mom' even if they are parents.

I also wonder: in what way does doing mundane chores equate to sexy? Sexy involves inspiring sexual desire. Very few people are turned on by an extensive knowledge of children's authors or an encyclopedic knowledge of the wants and dreams of a couple of children. That would be like me saying I'm am sexy because I wash the dishes and my toilet is clean. Also, I just went grocery shopping and now the fridge is full--I'm so fucking sexy.

Mom sexy sounds like Orwelian double-speak for drab.

Well, it is sexy if you clean in stilettos and nothing else...
(If you have the body for it)

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mistress rotwang
Well, it is sexy if you clean in stilettos and nothing else...
(If you have the body for it)

Even if you don't have the body for it...if your SO thinks you do then it is sexy.

(But how many duhs will ever get to see this in their homes outside of internet porn?)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
From a bottle cap message on a Magic Hat #9 beer: Condoms Prevent Minivans
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I want to pick up a bus full of unruly kids and feed them gummi bears and crack, then turn them loose in Hobby Lobby to ransack the place. They will all be wearing T shirts that say "You Could Have Prevented This."

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mistress rotwang

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yurble
That would be like me saying I'm am sexy because I wash the dishes and my toilet is clean.

Well, it is sexy if you clean in stilettos and nothing else...
(If you have the body for it)

Fuck, if I tried wearing stilettos near the toilet, I'd trip and wind up head first in it. Not even remotely sexy, unless the person watching you has coprophilia. That might be mom-sexy, though--aren't they frequently fascinated with the contents of diapers?

Fine then...lingerie and kitten heels! Bonus points if a corset is involved.

This sounds like the Twi-moms - juvenile attention seeking morons with nothing going on so they just make shit up.

Mom sexy is like Irritable Bowel Syndrome sexy. See me rock my bottle of Gas-X, baby! WooHoo! Twilight! Justin Bieber! Hella woot!, should I wear something hot to my colonoscopy? No need, I'm IBS Sexy!

I've just cleaned the litter box. I'm cat sexy! larious

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" ... what's one more once you've already got two shedding on the couch?"

I just finished a last minute engineering change on aircraft lavs....

I'm plane sexy! larious

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
From a bottle cap message on a Magic Hat #9 beer: Condoms Prevent Minivans
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I want to pick up a bus full of unruly kids and feed them gummi bears and crack, then turn them loose in Hobby Lobby to ransack the place. They will all be wearing T shirts that say "You Could Have Prevented This."

Moos don't get that their identification with Moodom is the opposite of sexy, because it is an association with children. And anything associated with children is NOT SEXY!!! At ALL.

If they want to be sexy, they have to disconnect from the Mommy brain and Mommy identity and just be women.

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law1204
Moos don't get that their identification with Moodom is the opposite of sexy, because it is an association with children. And anything associated with children is NOT SEXY!!! At ALL.

If they want to be sexy, they have to disconnect from the Mommy brain and Mommy identity and just be women.

They can't do that, they don't seem to know how and maybe they shouldn't. Remember Mom jeans? They had NO idea that there was such a thing until that SNL skit exposed it. They were shocked that people thought those pouchy bellied jeans were ugly. Sexy does not come naturally to moos, particularly breeders, so they must observe younger and CF women to get their cues. If they can't follow because they are too buuuusy doing TMIJITW, they just assign themselves the word Sexy.

I just scrubbed down my shower. I am Soap Scum Sexy.

I just ate two chicken wings and a Dr. Pepper. I am White Trash Sexy.

I just ran the dishwasher, I am so Cascade Gel Pak sexy.