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Refreshing: Grandmoo regrets daughter not giving her baby up for adoption
Posted by CrabCake
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Refreshing: Grandmoo regrets daughter not giving her baby up for adoption December 26, 2010 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 7,024 |
From Carolyn Hax's column. Her honesty is a breath of fresh air, but I find it hard to believe it really is all about "this child's life." It would be natural and understandable for her to be resentful all the bratcare she's had to do. Why not just admit it? The fact that she signs "Anonymous" speaks volumes also.
This should be required reading for all grandmoo-wannabes-at-all-costs.
~~~~~~~~~~~
On grieving for a grandchild not placed for adoption:
My daughter became pregnant at 24 and, at the urging of her friends, made the decision to keep her baby. We are a close, middle-class family who were prepared to be supportive of her choice and to be there for her and her child. She talked herself into it because that’s what others told her she “ought†to do.
Through the years, I have frequently been the primary caregiver, been there financially when things were difficult, and have been the one who has done homework, volunteered at school, and known all my grandchild’s friends. I’ve basically been the parent, and while I adore my grandchild, had adoption been the choice, I know it would have been the best one for this child. Two parents who love this child and wanted this child so much, contact with the bio family if the bio family wants it, no regrets everyday because you know you kept the baby to make others happy, and knowing you’ve done what is really best for your child.
You have to understand, it isn’t because I resent what I have needed to do; it is all about this child’s life.
What no one thinks about in these situations is that women who “aren’t ready to be mothers†aren’t lying about that; they really aren’t, and now, many grandparents are doing the job they had thought that daughter (or son) would step up and do. We’re ready to be grandparents, not the parents.
If I had it to do over again, I would take my daughter out for a long drive and beg her to reconsider the decision to keep her child, not for my sake, but for her child’s sake. – Anonymous
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shauna's like a gluten-free Jim Jones for dumb, lifeless middle-aged women. I swear, this bitch could set fire to a orphanage and they would applaud her for bringing them light. ~ Miss Hannigan
This should be required reading for all grandmoo-wannabes-at-all-costs.
~~~~~~~~~~~
On grieving for a grandchild not placed for adoption:
My daughter became pregnant at 24 and, at the urging of her friends, made the decision to keep her baby. We are a close, middle-class family who were prepared to be supportive of her choice and to be there for her and her child. She talked herself into it because that’s what others told her she “ought†to do.
Through the years, I have frequently been the primary caregiver, been there financially when things were difficult, and have been the one who has done homework, volunteered at school, and known all my grandchild’s friends. I’ve basically been the parent, and while I adore my grandchild, had adoption been the choice, I know it would have been the best one for this child. Two parents who love this child and wanted this child so much, contact with the bio family if the bio family wants it, no regrets everyday because you know you kept the baby to make others happy, and knowing you’ve done what is really best for your child.
You have to understand, it isn’t because I resent what I have needed to do; it is all about this child’s life.
What no one thinks about in these situations is that women who “aren’t ready to be mothers†aren’t lying about that; they really aren’t, and now, many grandparents are doing the job they had thought that daughter (or son) would step up and do. We’re ready to be grandparents, not the parents.
If I had it to do over again, I would take my daughter out for a long drive and beg her to reconsider the decision to keep her child, not for my sake, but for her child’s sake. – Anonymous
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shauna's like a gluten-free Jim Jones for dumb, lifeless middle-aged women. I swear, this bitch could set fire to a orphanage and they would applaud her for bringing them light. ~ Miss Hannigan
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Re: Refreshing: Grandmoo regrets daughter not giving her baby up for adoption December 26, 2010 | Registered: 16 years ago Posts: 2,348 |
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Re: Refreshing: Grandmoo regrets daughter not giving her baby up for adoption December 26, 2010 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 12,447 |
Being a parent to a grandbrat would be FAR worse than just being a regular parent, IMO. In addition to all of the regular bullshit involved in raising a kyd, there's the added problems of the bio moo and all of the drama that she would likely bring to the table, the advanced age of the grandmoo and gradually increasing inability to physically do things that needed to be done, the mental stress of raising someone else's kyd, the emotional problems of dealing with a kyd whose parents can't or won't raise it, the financial burden, and the infinite list continues. Probably the worst thing would be that when the grandmoo finally got the kyd through the shittiest part of it all and into a stable routine, THIS is when the bio-moo will get married and suddenly "be ready" to raise a kyd and then just rip the kyd away from the grandmoo and shuffle off to Idaho, after having "one of their own" of course.:fmbl
By this time the kyd is approaching or at puberty and the disruption of his home life will cause all kinds of behavioral problems. After the moo's new husband gets a bait of it, then typically either she leaves him and comes BACK home to grandmoo with ANOTHER kyd in tow or she just ships the original kyd back to grandmoo with a few juvie stays under his belt. I have seen this happen time and time again. I can think of NOTHING good about a grandmoo raising a grandbrat. Obviously they didn't do a sterling job the first time around or they wouldn't be in the situation in the first place either.
My pro-choice stance includes several options and are in this order. 1)Don't fuck at all if you don't or won't use birth control 2)Don't fuck without birth control 3)Abort 4)Give it up for adoption and if you're shitting a white loaf, sell it to a private agency and take the proceeds and get an education and don't make the same mistake again. It takes a lot of poor planning on the moo's part for a kyd to end up with grandmoo, yet it's happening at an alarming rate and is only picking up speed. It's absolutely ridiculous when for under $10, they could have bought a box of cootie squares or sticks from ANY Walmart, Walgreens, Rite Aid, or chain grocery store and shoved it up their twat an hour beforehand :sx and avoided the whole damned thing.:bayybee
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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!
By this time the kyd is approaching or at puberty and the disruption of his home life will cause all kinds of behavioral problems. After the moo's new husband gets a bait of it, then typically either she leaves him and comes BACK home to grandmoo with ANOTHER kyd in tow or she just ships the original kyd back to grandmoo with a few juvie stays under his belt. I have seen this happen time and time again. I can think of NOTHING good about a grandmoo raising a grandbrat. Obviously they didn't do a sterling job the first time around or they wouldn't be in the situation in the first place either.
My pro-choice stance includes several options and are in this order. 1)Don't fuck at all if you don't or won't use birth control 2)Don't fuck without birth control 3)Abort 4)Give it up for adoption and if you're shitting a white loaf, sell it to a private agency and take the proceeds and get an education and don't make the same mistake again. It takes a lot of poor planning on the moo's part for a kyd to end up with grandmoo, yet it's happening at an alarming rate and is only picking up speed. It's absolutely ridiculous when for under $10, they could have bought a box of cootie squares or sticks from ANY Walmart, Walgreens, Rite Aid, or chain grocery store and shoved it up their twat an hour beforehand :sx and avoided the whole damned thing.:bayybee
------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- -------
If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!
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Re: Refreshing: Grandmoo regrets daughter not giving her baby up for adoption December 26, 2010 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 1,099 |
Where are all these "friends," who cajole the preggers into keeping it, after she keeps it? What happens to them that they cannot babysit, get to know the sprog's friends, and volunteer at school? I'll bet that once they give the shower(s), they drop her like a You're Not Special So Grow Up book at Barnes and Noble.
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Re: Refreshing: Grandmoo regrets daughter not giving her baby up for adoption December 26, 2010 | Registered: 16 years ago Posts: 585 |
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ShimmyMuse
Where are all these "friends," who cajole the preggers into keeping it, after she keeps it? What happens to them that they cannot babysit, get to know the sprog's friends, and volunteer at school? I'll bet that once they give the shower(s), they drop her like a You're Not Special So Grow Up book at Barnes and Noble.
I suspect that these friends consisted of Grandmoo and maybe a couple of fundie friends of hers. Hey lady, you're the one who wanted your daughter to have the grandbrat so I think it's poetic justice that you get stuck with it.
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Re: Refreshing: Grandmoo regrets daughter not giving her baby up for adoption December 26, 2010 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 7,024 |
Quote
JoJo
I suspect that these friends consisted of Grandmoo and maybe a couple of fundie friends of hers. Hey lady, you're the one who wanted your daughter to have the grandbrat so I think it's poetic justice that you get stuck with it.
Hmmm, I didn't get that impression at first, but you could be right. Only now is Grandmoo (possibly) seeing the error of pressuring someone to keep the baybeeeeee.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shauna's like a gluten-free Jim Jones for dumb, lifeless middle-aged women. I swear, this bitch could set fire to a orphanage and they would applaud her for bringing them light. ~ Miss Hannigan
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Re: Refreshing: Grandmoo regrets daughter not giving her baby up for adoption December 26, 2010 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 12,033 |
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Re: Refreshing: Grandmoo regrets daughter not giving her baby up for adoption December 26, 2010 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 7,024 |
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Miss_Hannigan
Translation: "I resent what I needed to do. I'll pray for death before granddaughter spawns a bastard as well, and the cycle continues like Russian matryoshka dolls."
I wonder how many first-time, newly knocked-up moos consider this possibility waaaaay down the road. While they bask in the adulation, the Worship of Preggo, probably NONE of them think of their precious baybee going on to spawn a grand-bastard that THEY will end up raising.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shauna's like a gluten-free Jim Jones for dumb, lifeless middle-aged women. I swear, this bitch could set fire to a orphanage and they would applaud her for bringing them light. ~ Miss Hannigan
Anonymous User
Re: Refreshing: Grandmoo regrets daughter not giving her baby up for adoption December 26, 2010 |
Donna411
Re: Refreshing: Grandmoo regrets daughter not giving her baby up for adoption December 27, 2010 |
I grew up in a small town in Mississippi with a lot of fundies. If a teen girl got pregnant, she was ostracized and most of the time, she gave it up once it was born, and even after that, nobody looked at her the same way again. The only ones who kept the babies ended up dropping out of school and were always the ones from "the wrong side of the tracks."
I went to a fundie high school and pregnant teens were simply expelled along with the fathers if they were students at the school. There were always rumors of abortions and students who left the school getting pregnant, but I never knew for sure.
On another note, both my parents were in their 20s when my brother and I were born and we had a place to live, food on the table, and so on. We weren't rich, but we weren't poor either. Our parents were able to raise us just fine in their 20s. It seems today 20somethings aren't as mature as they were in the old days. Why is that?
Donna Four Elelven
I went to a fundie high school and pregnant teens were simply expelled along with the fathers if they were students at the school. There were always rumors of abortions and students who left the school getting pregnant, but I never knew for sure.
On another note, both my parents were in their 20s when my brother and I were born and we had a place to live, food on the table, and so on. We weren't rich, but we weren't poor either. Our parents were able to raise us just fine in their 20s. It seems today 20somethings aren't as mature as they were in the old days. Why is that?
Donna Four Elelven
Anonymous User
Re: Refreshing: Grandmoo regrets daughter not giving her baby up for adoption December 27, 2010 |
Quote
Donna411
It seems today 20somethings aren't as mature as they were in the old days. Why is that?
Donna Four Elelven
Because back in the old days, people had a lot more responsibilities while growing up. Back then, children helped out on the farm and with domestic duties. Nowadays, a LOT of teenagers/20 somethings can't even do the basics like laundry or cooking without help
eyes2.Anonymous User
Re: Refreshing: Grandmoo regrets daughter not giving her baby up for adoption December 27, 2010 |
Quote
Donna411
It seems today 20somethings aren't as mature as they were in the old days. Why is that?
Donna Four Elelven
Part of it is purely economic...when there are so few jobs that half a generation literally cannot afford to move out of their parent's basements, you are going to get delayed mental growth.
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Re: Refreshing: Grandmoo regrets daughter not giving her baby up for adoption December 27, 2010 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 9,964 |
Being supportive of a twenty-something woman having an unplanned baybee does not mean Granny has to raise it. Support could be many things - money, babysitting, maybe bringing over some casseroles to freeze if Moo is too tired from Facebooking all day long to cook, a bag of diapers, starting a college fund for the thing, or letting the bitch unload about how haaaaaaaard it all is for poor iddle her.
Where does it say that a woman has to raise her grandchild? If I were her, I'd have given the bitch an ultimaturm: Either move out and care for your own damn kid, or Junior gets sold to an adoption agency.
And what kind of spineless adult lets her friends talk her into doing something as harmful as having a baby when she's clearly not even ready to take care of herself? I know it's hard for many people in their twenties to just up and move out - but when you can't even afford to move out, you sure as fuck can't afford to have kids and it's by no means fair to foist your bastard on your own parents. I know someone who is doing this - she shit out a kid at 17, and that child shat out her first kid at 17 too. So the mother is a 35-year-old grandmother raising her own grandkid while her retard daughter goes and plays house with the guy she married when she was 16.
I don't feel sorry for grandparents who decide all on their own to raise their own grandkids. No one makes them. If they can't grow a pair and tell their kids they are done raising their family and will not be raising any more babies, then they deserve any trouble they get.
People should not be encouraging women in shitty financial situations to have kids. Some people are able to afford and properly raise kids in their twenties, but others might not be able to do it in their 40s. Regardless of age, if someone gets pregnant and there's no way they can afford a baby, they really should either abort or give the thing away at birth while it's still able to get sold.
Where does it say that a woman has to raise her grandchild? If I were her, I'd have given the bitch an ultimaturm: Either move out and care for your own damn kid, or Junior gets sold to an adoption agency.
And what kind of spineless adult lets her friends talk her into doing something as harmful as having a baby when she's clearly not even ready to take care of herself? I know it's hard for many people in their twenties to just up and move out - but when you can't even afford to move out, you sure as fuck can't afford to have kids and it's by no means fair to foist your bastard on your own parents. I know someone who is doing this - she shit out a kid at 17, and that child shat out her first kid at 17 too. So the mother is a 35-year-old grandmother raising her own grandkid while her retard daughter goes and plays house with the guy she married when she was 16.
I don't feel sorry for grandparents who decide all on their own to raise their own grandkids. No one makes them. If they can't grow a pair and tell their kids they are done raising their family and will not be raising any more babies, then they deserve any trouble they get.
People should not be encouraging women in shitty financial situations to have kids. Some people are able to afford and properly raise kids in their twenties, but others might not be able to do it in their 40s. Regardless of age, if someone gets pregnant and there's no way they can afford a baby, they really should either abort or give the thing away at birth while it's still able to get sold.
Miss_Hannigan NLI
Re: Refreshing: Grandmoo regrets daughter not giving her baby up for adoption December 27, 2010 |
Found this nugget from another loser moo site - Brenda's boyfriend's mom is abortion's biggest cheerleader:
My name is Brenda and I am 13 weeks pregnant for the first time ever in my 33 years of existence. I am looking very much forward to having my baby, however I am also scared out of my wits. The boyfriend I had for over four years, the father of this baby has me extremely worried. Mainly it is his Mother who has me ever so scared, but since he can not break away from his Mother, I am living in an awful lot of fear right now. Below I will share with you the email she sent me 2 months ago....
Dear Brenda,
I understand after speaking with Derek, that you are inclined to keep this pregnancy. If that's the case, there's a number of legal and medical issues I want you to be aware of.
First, I think it's wise that we all attend the Counseling sessions offered at Planned Parenthood. Tell Derek to make an appointment convenient for you. You need to fully understand the medical, legal and welfare issues.
Medically, there is only a short time left before abortion is no longer an option, so I recommend that since you have smoked and drank prior to knowing you were pregnant, an amniocentesis should be done before it's too late to make sure there are no major neurological, spinal cord or heart problems associated with smoking. Also, failing to take prenatal vitamins especially Folic acid is very detrimental to an embryos development such as spina bifida. Look up the statistics regarding Autism on your own, but the numbers are staggering.
Do you have medical insurance to cover both yourself and the delivery, doctor's fees and hospital's fees? If you plan to go on welfare, WIC, Food Stamps, Medicaid etc., then child custody is going to become a real problem and you'll need to retain an attorney as soon as possible to set down paternity testing, custody arrangements & child support. Average Family Court attorneys request a $2000 downpayment then between $200 - $500/per hr. not including Court costs, Psychologists for both the parents & child. run about $150 an hour. The child in a case like this is generally represented by it's own separate attorney which also has to be paid for.
If the child is born premature, are you prepared to take time off from work to care for it without losing your job. What if it needs open heart surgery or has a cleft pallet and insurance doesn't cover it. Do you have an emergency savings fund available? Will you be continuing your education while working and caring for a baby?
Even if there are no major problems, do you know what the cost of Day Care is (min. $200/wk) so you can continue to work?Have you priced doctor's visits, vaccinations & shots, diapers and formula as well as clothes and all the accessories?
What I don't understand is how you don't realize just how devastating this will be to all three of you, (unless it's twins) then the 4 of you. If you accept Welfare, (WIC, Food Stamps, ADC, Medicaid etc.), the economy is in shambles, so the Welfare attorneys will be forced to sue Derek for child support wether you want them to or not. Since Derek has no job and no hope of getting one until he clears his domestic violence record, what will happen is this. He'll be sued, and since he has no assets, he will have to declare bankruptcy. That means that for the next 10 years, he will not be able to apply for a car loan or school loan and he won't even be able to rent an apartment because it will be on his credit report. If after a period of time he still can't pay because of no job, he'll end up in jail.
Family wise, by being selfish and keeping the baby, you and Derek will have no hope of a future together. As much as he loves kids, he's going to resent you for putting him in an unwinnable situation and making things worse than they are now with no hope of improvement. He's trying to find ways to finish school as quickly as possible and can be out of school with a good paying, stable career in 2 years. Having a child now will dash all hopes of a normal family life, you two will end up hating each other and fighting for the next 19 years. That's a great situation to expose an innocent child to when it wasn't their fault.
Derek says you are worried about not having anymore children because of abortion. That's just wrong. Back in the 1930's -1950's they used to cut into the uterus and that's what caused infertility. Now all they do is put a small sponge in the cervix which starts a menstrual period and it's no different than a miscarriage. You'll be in much worse shape if they do a C-Section. There they do cut open the uterus which can cause scarring and infertility. You know as a diabetic, you're at higher risk for C-Section as well as other medical conditions. You know the babies of diabetics are generally much larger than non-diabetics because of the blood sugar. You know all about eclampsia and pre-eclampsia with the possibility of strokes due to hypertension. And, you know that things like placentia praevea and abruptio placenta still kills mothers in childbirth.
Both of you need to finish your education and complete your counseling before taking on this responsibility. A child needs two parents and a stable home environment, not a life on welfare, with immature parents who need counseling themselves. Going back and forth to Court is going to make them feel ashamed and inadequate because of the life style it's been provided. Derek said you'd asked for money to help your OB-Gyn bills, but as you know, he doesn't have a job so you'll have to ask me unless your parents are going to pay for it.
Just think about the facts, if you're asking for money now, you're certainly not financially able to pay for the big ticket items and any emergencies when they come along, so who suffers, the innocent child. Wait two years until you've both finished school and can start to take care of yourselves then start a family who will be proud of you instead of hating each other because you're living in poverty. Children are very sensitive. Don't start from a bad situation that's only going to deteriorate. Give yourself all the possible advantages. Parents are supposed to want their children to be better off than they were, not worse.
Also think about what happens if you and Derek do break up. How willing do you think another man is going to be to get involved with you if you already have another man's child. There are very few good men out there. Don't blow it because of immaturity and selfishness. Age is not issue. My mother never had me until she was 37 and she had my brother & sister at 45 & 48 and she was very frail and sickly. Rochester is 68% Catholic and one of the main bases for the anti-abortion protests. Remember, they murdered Dr. Slepian thru his kitchen window? Make sure you hear the facts from the Pro-Choice medical professionals, and attend the Planned Parenthood session. They know better than anyone what you're up against.
Let me know when we can go together to Planned Parenthood.
Debbie
My name is Brenda and I am 13 weeks pregnant for the first time ever in my 33 years of existence. I am looking very much forward to having my baby, however I am also scared out of my wits. The boyfriend I had for over four years, the father of this baby has me extremely worried. Mainly it is his Mother who has me ever so scared, but since he can not break away from his Mother, I am living in an awful lot of fear right now. Below I will share with you the email she sent me 2 months ago....
Dear Brenda,
I understand after speaking with Derek, that you are inclined to keep this pregnancy. If that's the case, there's a number of legal and medical issues I want you to be aware of.
First, I think it's wise that we all attend the Counseling sessions offered at Planned Parenthood. Tell Derek to make an appointment convenient for you. You need to fully understand the medical, legal and welfare issues.
Medically, there is only a short time left before abortion is no longer an option, so I recommend that since you have smoked and drank prior to knowing you were pregnant, an amniocentesis should be done before it's too late to make sure there are no major neurological, spinal cord or heart problems associated with smoking. Also, failing to take prenatal vitamins especially Folic acid is very detrimental to an embryos development such as spina bifida. Look up the statistics regarding Autism on your own, but the numbers are staggering.
Do you have medical insurance to cover both yourself and the delivery, doctor's fees and hospital's fees? If you plan to go on welfare, WIC, Food Stamps, Medicaid etc., then child custody is going to become a real problem and you'll need to retain an attorney as soon as possible to set down paternity testing, custody arrangements & child support. Average Family Court attorneys request a $2000 downpayment then between $200 - $500/per hr. not including Court costs, Psychologists for both the parents & child. run about $150 an hour. The child in a case like this is generally represented by it's own separate attorney which also has to be paid for.
If the child is born premature, are you prepared to take time off from work to care for it without losing your job. What if it needs open heart surgery or has a cleft pallet and insurance doesn't cover it. Do you have an emergency savings fund available? Will you be continuing your education while working and caring for a baby?
Even if there are no major problems, do you know what the cost of Day Care is (min. $200/wk) so you can continue to work?Have you priced doctor's visits, vaccinations & shots, diapers and formula as well as clothes and all the accessories?
What I don't understand is how you don't realize just how devastating this will be to all three of you, (unless it's twins) then the 4 of you. If you accept Welfare, (WIC, Food Stamps, ADC, Medicaid etc.), the economy is in shambles, so the Welfare attorneys will be forced to sue Derek for child support wether you want them to or not. Since Derek has no job and no hope of getting one until he clears his domestic violence record, what will happen is this. He'll be sued, and since he has no assets, he will have to declare bankruptcy. That means that for the next 10 years, he will not be able to apply for a car loan or school loan and he won't even be able to rent an apartment because it will be on his credit report. If after a period of time he still can't pay because of no job, he'll end up in jail.
Family wise, by being selfish and keeping the baby, you and Derek will have no hope of a future together. As much as he loves kids, he's going to resent you for putting him in an unwinnable situation and making things worse than they are now with no hope of improvement. He's trying to find ways to finish school as quickly as possible and can be out of school with a good paying, stable career in 2 years. Having a child now will dash all hopes of a normal family life, you two will end up hating each other and fighting for the next 19 years. That's a great situation to expose an innocent child to when it wasn't their fault.
Derek says you are worried about not having anymore children because of abortion. That's just wrong. Back in the 1930's -1950's they used to cut into the uterus and that's what caused infertility. Now all they do is put a small sponge in the cervix which starts a menstrual period and it's no different than a miscarriage. You'll be in much worse shape if they do a C-Section. There they do cut open the uterus which can cause scarring and infertility. You know as a diabetic, you're at higher risk for C-Section as well as other medical conditions. You know the babies of diabetics are generally much larger than non-diabetics because of the blood sugar. You know all about eclampsia and pre-eclampsia with the possibility of strokes due to hypertension. And, you know that things like placentia praevea and abruptio placenta still kills mothers in childbirth.
Both of you need to finish your education and complete your counseling before taking on this responsibility. A child needs two parents and a stable home environment, not a life on welfare, with immature parents who need counseling themselves. Going back and forth to Court is going to make them feel ashamed and inadequate because of the life style it's been provided. Derek said you'd asked for money to help your OB-Gyn bills, but as you know, he doesn't have a job so you'll have to ask me unless your parents are going to pay for it.
Just think about the facts, if you're asking for money now, you're certainly not financially able to pay for the big ticket items and any emergencies when they come along, so who suffers, the innocent child. Wait two years until you've both finished school and can start to take care of yourselves then start a family who will be proud of you instead of hating each other because you're living in poverty. Children are very sensitive. Don't start from a bad situation that's only going to deteriorate. Give yourself all the possible advantages. Parents are supposed to want their children to be better off than they were, not worse.
Also think about what happens if you and Derek do break up. How willing do you think another man is going to be to get involved with you if you already have another man's child. There are very few good men out there. Don't blow it because of immaturity and selfishness. Age is not issue. My mother never had me until she was 37 and she had my brother & sister at 45 & 48 and she was very frail and sickly. Rochester is 68% Catholic and one of the main bases for the anti-abortion protests. Remember, they murdered Dr. Slepian thru his kitchen window? Make sure you hear the facts from the Pro-Choice medical professionals, and attend the Planned Parenthood session. They know better than anyone what you're up against.
Let me know when we can go together to Planned Parenthood.
Debbie
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Re: Refreshing: Grandmoo regrets daughter not giving her baby up for adoption December 28, 2010 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 12,432 |
Quote
Cambion
And what kind of spineless adult lets her friends talk her into doing something as harmful as having a baby when she's clearly not even ready to take care of herself?
Wouldn't the sort of person with the least ability to take charge of her own life be exactly the sort of person to be talked into something by her friends? This doesn't surprise me in the least.
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Re: Refreshing: Grandmoo regrets daughter not giving her baby up for adoption December 28, 2010 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 12,432 |
Miss H, that is one kick-ass letter! How much do you want to bet the bint doesn't listen? The fact that she's diabetic and planning on keeping this child already tells you much. (I don't think that was Brenda's mom though, but Derek's.)
And such a wonderful response Brenda received:
You look forward to having your baby, your boyfriend is worried - that is to be expected. Almost any man would be. Personally, I would not even take into consideration what his mother says, the baby is yours and his, not hers. He will get used to the thought of having a baby, and he will most likely totally change the day he hold the baby. So, ignore those, who want to influence you against your will. You are doing the right thing. Continue to take care of yourself to give birth to a healthy baby! You will be so happy to hold that baby, that nothing else matters... Life is all yours, the decision is yours, be strong.
And such a wonderful response Brenda received:
You look forward to having your baby, your boyfriend is worried - that is to be expected. Almost any man would be. Personally, I would not even take into consideration what his mother says, the baby is yours and his, not hers. He will get used to the thought of having a baby, and he will most likely totally change the day he hold the baby. So, ignore those, who want to influence you against your will. You are doing the right thing. Continue to take care of yourself to give birth to a healthy baby! You will be so happy to hold that baby, that nothing else matters... Life is all yours, the decision is yours, be strong.
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Re: Refreshing: Grandmoo regrets daughter not giving her baby up for adoption December 28, 2010 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 12,033 |
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Re: Refreshing: Grandmoo regrets daughter not giving her baby up for adoption December 28, 2010 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 3,842 |
To Miss Hannigan... comment on that story..
The writer of that missage sounds like she is on the emotional level of a 7 year old.. and that is probably insulting to 7 year olds... She's scared of sperm donors mommie? She is the one who spread for something that may have been a mommies boy. Knowing this, she goes ahead.
Technically, I think this mother is showing a great deal of common sense, something this bint is lacking to an exponential degree: I get the impression of these gaga little girls that things will work out disney fairy-tale wise and, as ellen peck put it, the lie of 'mommy and daddy, and baayybeee' shit. Should have thought again before she spread, but that is the point. She does NOT think. All she thinks with is her cunt and reproductive tract.
two cents ¢¢
CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!
people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong
Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.
The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.
Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.
People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke
Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.
The writer of that missage sounds like she is on the emotional level of a 7 year old.. and that is probably insulting to 7 year olds... She's scared of sperm donors mommie? She is the one who spread for something that may have been a mommies boy. Knowing this, she goes ahead.
Technically, I think this mother is showing a great deal of common sense, something this bint is lacking to an exponential degree: I get the impression of these gaga little girls that things will work out disney fairy-tale wise and, as ellen peck put it, the lie of 'mommy and daddy, and baayybeee' shit. Should have thought again before she spread, but that is the point. She does NOT think. All she thinks with is her cunt and reproductive tract.
two cents ¢¢
CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!
people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong
Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.
The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.
Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.
People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke
Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.
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Re: Refreshing: Grandmoo regrets daughter not giving her baby up for adoption December 28, 2010 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 464 |
Holy shit, Miss H. This woman is thirty-fucking-three?! If she didn't post her age, I would have sworn this would have been from someone in her teens.
The letter seems pretty rational to me. I don't get how this is evidence that this Brenda chick is being "bullied" and "outnumbered". The relationship with the BF seems to have been a mess of shit beforehand, and the BF's mom is just giving her the real deal.
BTW, is it just me, or does anyone else think that the timeline is a bit weird? She's 13 weeks pregnant. Supposedly, the BF's mother sent her this e-mail 2 months (8 weeks) ago. Which means that she found out she was pregnant at 5 weeks or earlier. Forgive me if this sounds ignorant, but I sort of smell someone trying to have a "glue baby" to patch up a shitty relationship.
The letter seems pretty rational to me. I don't get how this is evidence that this Brenda chick is being "bullied" and "outnumbered". The relationship with the BF seems to have been a mess of shit beforehand, and the BF's mom is just giving her the real deal.
BTW, is it just me, or does anyone else think that the timeline is a bit weird? She's 13 weeks pregnant. Supposedly, the BF's mother sent her this e-mail 2 months (8 weeks) ago. Which means that she found out she was pregnant at 5 weeks or earlier. Forgive me if this sounds ignorant, but I sort of smell someone trying to have a "glue baby" to patch up a shitty relationship.
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Re: Refreshing: Grandmoo regrets daughter not giving her baby up for adoption December 29, 2010 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 9,964 |
Ooo, do I smell some fresh troll meat?
Sometimes, giving a kid away is the most responsible thing to do. Many people who have kids are not equipped to properly raise them...there may be only one parent (usually the mother, so I'll pick on her), the parent may be physically disabled and can't wrangle a kid, may be retarded or mentally ill with something like BPD or schizophrenia, might be too broke to afford to live themselves let alone supporting a child (and qualifying for welfare does not make someone not broke), they might be addicted to something and would neglect the kid (drugs, gambling, sex, video games, etc.), or maybe they're just abusive. Maybe they aren't mature enough yet to be in charge of another life. Maybe they didn't want kids, but were too dumb to get an abortion or couldn't get sterilized.
Frankly, I think it'd be better to stick a kid in the system while it's got a high selling value rather than let it be raised by horrible bio parents. Not every single goddamn adopted kid will have problems with their childhoods. You'd probably just want to make sure that when the kid takes biology, they don't do that finger pricking experiment to find out their blood type, as they may find out that way that they were adopted.
If another relative wants to take in the kid, then fine. But if they CHOOSE to, then they get no right to bitch and piss and whine and moan about how hard it is and how immature and dumb the bio mother is. Nobody forced them to adopt the kid. It's for the best that some children do not know their biological parents, as they may find out some highly unsavory things (like the man who found out he was the product of rape and his father is Charles Manson).
Sometimes, giving a kid away is the most responsible thing to do. Many people who have kids are not equipped to properly raise them...there may be only one parent (usually the mother, so I'll pick on her), the parent may be physically disabled and can't wrangle a kid, may be retarded or mentally ill with something like BPD or schizophrenia, might be too broke to afford to live themselves let alone supporting a child (and qualifying for welfare does not make someone not broke), they might be addicted to something and would neglect the kid (drugs, gambling, sex, video games, etc.), or maybe they're just abusive. Maybe they aren't mature enough yet to be in charge of another life. Maybe they didn't want kids, but were too dumb to get an abortion or couldn't get sterilized.
Frankly, I think it'd be better to stick a kid in the system while it's got a high selling value rather than let it be raised by horrible bio parents. Not every single goddamn adopted kid will have problems with their childhoods. You'd probably just want to make sure that when the kid takes biology, they don't do that finger pricking experiment to find out their blood type, as they may find out that way that they were adopted.
If another relative wants to take in the kid, then fine. But if they CHOOSE to, then they get no right to bitch and piss and whine and moan about how hard it is and how immature and dumb the bio mother is. Nobody forced them to adopt the kid. It's for the best that some children do not know their biological parents, as they may find out some highly unsavory things (like the man who found out he was the product of rape and his father is Charles Manson).
Anonymous User
Re: Refreshing: Grandmoo regrets daughter not giving her baby up for adoption December 30, 2010 |
Unfortunately in my line of work I see a lot of this. And yes the same mother/grandmother who starts talking God, abortion being murder are the same ones sitting across my desk after the "blessing" is born complaining about how hard they have it raising infants, toddlers, adolescents and unruly teenagers in their golden years. What gets me is the cunt mom has a first kid drops it off and then accumulate others and drop them off also. So while she's spreading her friendly pussy grandma takes the burden. I often hear if I don't take them in what will happen to them? I let them know they are enablers let their trifling ass mothers and fathers figure that shit out. I knew I couldn't bring a bastard child into my mothers house EVER and I wouldn't have done that to her because I know how hard it was for her to raise us after divorcing my father. These same bitches have an excuse for every birth control under the sun: "birth control makes you fat" as if getting pregnant doesn't? they don't believe in abortion, they don't believe in marriage but bastard breeding is seen as some sort of accomplishment!!!.
We're in the 21st century I'm more than ready for people to start admitting that having a child was a mistake. Fuck being scared that you're going to hurt the childs feelings more than likely though the parent won't admit it that child already knows. I'm so sick of all this Hallmark bullshit that it was an 'accident' 'not planned' but not a mistake. Toss my salad if you're fucking without protection or your birth control fails and you did not plan on having a kid or at least not yet that's a GOD DAMN MISTAKE! the world we live in is full of motherfuckers who should of been flushed in a condom or placed in a vaccum cleaner.
We're in the 21st century I'm more than ready for people to start admitting that having a child was a mistake. Fuck being scared that you're going to hurt the childs feelings more than likely though the parent won't admit it that child already knows. I'm so sick of all this Hallmark bullshit that it was an 'accident' 'not planned' but not a mistake. Toss my salad if you're fucking without protection or your birth control fails and you did not plan on having a kid or at least not yet that's a GOD DAMN MISTAKE! the world we live in is full of motherfuckers who should of been flushed in a condom or placed in a vaccum cleaner.
Anonymous User
Re: Refreshing: Grandmoo regrets daughter not giving her baby up for adoption December 31, 2010 |
Derek's mom sounds rad! That woman sure doesn't sugar-coat anything! I wish she'd come on BF. Or better yet, take me out for coffee, where we can discuss in detail the cluelessness of baby-romanticizers and I can listen to her rant in-person about airheaded women who think a bayyybee will bring them closer to their boyfriend...and maybe about how she regrets birthing Derek's DV-committing ass.
Too bad no one on that moo echo chamber of a forum is going to agree with her.
Too bad no one on that moo echo chamber of a forum is going to agree with her.
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Miss_Hannigan NLI
Found this nugget from another loser moo site - Brenda's boyfriend's mom is abortion's biggest cheerleader:
My name is Brenda and I am 13 weeks pregnant for the first time ever in my 33 years of existence. I am looking very much forward to having my baby, however I am also scared out of my wits. The boyfriend I had for over four years, the father of this baby has me extremely worried. Mainly it is his Mother who has me ever so scared, but since he can not break away from his Mother, I am living in an awful lot of fear right now. Below I will share with you the email she sent me 2 months ago....
Dear Brenda,
I understand after speaking with Derek, that you are inclined to keep this pregnancy. If that's the case, there's a number of legal and medical issues I want you to be aware of.
First, I think it's wise that we all attend the Counseling sessions offered at Planned Parenthood. Tell Derek to make an appointment convenient for you. You need to fully understand the medical, legal and welfare issues.
Medically, there is only a short time left before abortion is no longer an option, so I recommend that since you have smoked and drank prior to knowing you were pregnant, an amniocentesis should be done before it's too late to make sure there are no major neurological, spinal cord or heart problems associated with smoking. Also, failing to take prenatal vitamins especially Folic acid is very detrimental to an embryos development such as spina bifida. Look up the statistics regarding Autism on your own, but the numbers are staggering.
Do you have medical insurance to cover both yourself and the delivery, doctor's fees and hospital's fees? If you plan to go on welfare, WIC, Food Stamps, Medicaid etc., then child custody is going to become a real problem and you'll need to retain an attorney as soon as possible to set down paternity testing, custody arrangements & child support. Average Family Court attorneys request a $2000 downpayment then between $200 - $500/per hr. not including Court costs, Psychologists for both the parents & child. run about $150 an hour. The child in a case like this is generally represented by it's own separate attorney which also has to be paid for.
If the child is born premature, are you prepared to take time off from work to care for it without losing your job. What if it needs open heart surgery or has a cleft pallet and insurance doesn't cover it. Do you have an emergency savings fund available? Will you be continuing your education while working and caring for a baby?
Even if there are no major problems, do you know what the cost of Day Care is (min. $200/wk) so you can continue to work?Have you priced doctor's visits, vaccinations & shots, diapers and formula as well as clothes and all the accessories?
What I don't understand is how you don't realize just how devastating this will be to all three of you, (unless it's twins) then the 4 of you. If you accept Welfare, (WIC, Food Stamps, ADC, Medicaid etc.), the economy is in shambles, so the Welfare attorneys will be forced to sue Derek for child support wether you want them to or not. Since Derek has no job and no hope of getting one until he clears his domestic violence record, what will happen is this. He'll be sued, and since he has no assets, he will have to declare bankruptcy. That means that for the next 10 years, he will not be able to apply for a car loan or school loan and he won't even be able to rent an apartment because it will be on his credit report. If after a period of time he still can't pay because of no job, he'll end up in jail.
Family wise, by being selfish and keeping the baby, you and Derek will have no hope of a future together. As much as he loves kids, he's going to resent you for putting him in an unwinnable situation and making things worse than they are now with no hope of improvement. He's trying to find ways to finish school as quickly as possible and can be out of school with a good paying, stable career in 2 years. Having a child now will dash all hopes of a normal family life, you two will end up hating each other and fighting for the next 19 years. That's a great situation to expose an innocent child to when it wasn't their fault.
Derek says you are worried about not having anymore children because of abortion. That's just wrong. Back in the 1930's -1950's they used to cut into the uterus and that's what caused infertility. Now all they do is put a small sponge in the cervix which starts a menstrual period and it's no different than a miscarriage. You'll be in much worse shape if they do a C-Section. There they do cut open the uterus which can cause scarring and infertility. You know as a diabetic, you're at higher risk for C-Section as well as other medical conditions. You know the babies of diabetics are generally much larger than non-diabetics because of the blood sugar. You know all about eclampsia and pre-eclampsia with the possibility of strokes due to hypertension. And, you know that things like placentia praevea and abruptio placenta still kills mothers in childbirth.
Both of you need to finish your education and complete your counseling before taking on this responsibility. A child needs two parents and a stable home environment, not a life on welfare, with immature parents who need counseling themselves. Going back and forth to Court is going to make them feel ashamed and inadequate because of the life style it's been provided. Derek said you'd asked for money to help your OB-Gyn bills, but as you know, he doesn't have a job so you'll have to ask me unless your parents are going to pay for it.
Just think about the facts, if you're asking for money now, you're certainly not financially able to pay for the big ticket items and any emergencies when they come along, so who suffers, the innocent child. Wait two years until you've both finished school and can start to take care of yourselves then start a family who will be proud of you instead of hating each other because you're living in poverty. Children are very sensitive. Don't start from a bad situation that's only going to deteriorate. Give yourself all the possible advantages. Parents are supposed to want their children to be better off than they were, not worse.
Also think about what happens if you and Derek do break up. How willing do you think another man is going to be to get involved with you if you already have another man's child. There are very few good men out there. Don't blow it because of immaturity and selfishness. Age is not issue. My mother never had me until she was 37 and she had my brother & sister at 45 & 48 and she was very frail and sickly. Rochester is 68% Catholic and one of the main bases for the anti-abortion protests. Remember, they murdered Dr. Slepian thru his kitchen window? Make sure you hear the facts from the Pro-Choice medical professionals, and attend the Planned Parenthood session. They know better than anyone what you're up against.
Let me know when we can go together to Planned Parenthood.
Debbie
Anonymous User
Re: Refreshing: Grandmoo regrets daughter not giving her baby up for adoption December 31, 2010 |
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cfya88
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Donna411
It seems today 20somethings aren't as mature as they were in the old days. Why is that?
Donna Four Elelven
Part of it is purely economic...when there are so few jobs that half a generation literally cannot afford to move out of their parent's basements, you are going to get delayed mental growth.
*nods head* This is my situation, except my parents have a McMansion (hence, no need for me to live in the basement). Even though all is materially comfortable and I'm a recent college grad, as someone with an eye on bettering myself in the long-term I can barely fathom anyone wanting to bring a child into this situation. (Even if I wanted children, which is hard to imagine, I wouldn't do it now!)
How do these bitches think they'll ever rise above this shit if they reproduce before they get their feet off the ground? Oh, that's right: because every sunny babyee-cheerleader "friend" tells them that "things have a way of working out, even when money's tight!" Riiiight. There must be Gerber's and baby-shit stains on these dolts' rose-colored glasses blocking them from seeing that "making it" with a kid you couldn't afford was shitty enough before the economy tanked, and these days it's more than challenging enough to do when you only have yourself to think about.
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Re: Refreshing: Grandmoo regrets daughter not giving her baby up for adoption January 04, 2011 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 12,033 |
Glad it worked out for your Sandy. Do you ever get Pampers and your Depends mixed up?
I'll spell it out for you so you can read it, you crazy old whore-enabler.
GO THE FUCK AWAY
The interloper's site:
http://www.sandymusser.com
I'll spell it out for you so you can read it, you crazy old whore-enabler.
GO THE FUCK AWAY
The interloper's site:
http://www.sandymusser.com
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Re: Refreshing: Grandmoo regrets daughter not giving her baby up for adoption January 04, 2011 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 12,447 |
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Sandy
just a grand moo who thinks she's exempt from the site rules
This is an incredibly sad example that reinforces my feelings that there should be laws about addicts, drunks, prostitutes, etc........who insist on giving birth should be required to undergo MANDATORY sterilization or long term birth control implants-shots at the very least. While it's admirable that a family member step up to the plate and take care of their own, a 72 year old woman has no business trying to raise a baby. It isn't ideal for her OR the child and it's also likely that the child has mental and physical problems associated with having been born to a drug addict. It also reinforces that, "they will change after the baby is born" is an ABSOLUTE myth. Adoption should be the third choice after birth control has failed and it's too late for a legal abortion, IMO.
Dumping a baby off on an elderly women to raise is one of the poorest choices of them all and I wouldn't wish that on the woman OR the child. Adoption would have been an obvious best choice for this poor kid under these circumstances. I sincerely hope that this now 32 y/o woman learned her lesson and hasn't given birth to any MORE kids since her last mistake, but that's doubtful if she is still breathing. I would be willing to bet that she's either had one or two more bastard kids since then, she has died of a drug related incident, OR she got herself cleaned up, married, had "one of their own" and is trying to take the kid away from Meemaw. Sadly for the kids, these things tend to follow a predictable pattern.
If the best interests of the child had been considered, adoption to a loving childless couple would have been the BEST THING that could happen to it. Meemaw is just letting guilt color her actions rather than what would have been best for that child. SURE he might have wondered why he was given up for adoption, but that would have been a sight better than being raised by an elderly guilt ridden grandmother AND seeing his own mother for the drug addicted whore that she likely was when she got knocked up by God only knows who.
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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!
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