TNTC - Not Pregnant

Good thread! I didn't see this when I joined.

I've been TNTC for the last 15 years. I almost got my wish a few months ago when I stopped having periods for 4-5 months, and was told by the doctor that I might not be ovulating. Well, my dreams have now been dashed because I just spent the last 9 days flushing my little angel eggs down the toilet. A doctor appointment has been made, and I will be discussing other ways I can TNTC. I am so sick of taking birth control pills.

Having PCOS sucks but one of the best parts is....INFERTILITY.

I still take BC pills to be careful but I look forward to the idea that my doctor tells me that pregnancy will NOT occur without fertility drugs.

I'm glad I'm not a fertile Myrtle and don't have to ONLY take it up the shitter all the time to not get pregnant. Rejoice!

My boyfriend is ecstatic that we can screw without a condom and he can trust me with BC because I'm just as freaked out about getting pregnant as he is and I'm also infertile.

I have been TNTC for only six years (I'm 24, didn't lose virginity until 18). I was on the birth control pill for four years and couldn't STAND it, I needed a more permanent solution to ensure my success in TNTC . . . so I found a doctor who was willing to do Essure! Last month, I got the HSG and I was relieved to find that I would be able to TNTC without taking a pill every day.

eh? you have to have had a vaginal intercourse to be considered TNTC?

I didn't see this thread when I joined either. This is FUNNY!

My TNTC days were the pits. I am soooo thankful for the decision I made to take out the incubator so the angel eggs kind of had to sit up there and absorb back into my system. Hummm maybe that means they will be a part of me forever? Oh geeze.

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felisdomestica
eh? you have to have had a vaginal intercourse to be considered TNTC?

I think that each person can TNTC in her own way. Some can be assured of success, by abstaining from intercourse or having their reproductive organs removed. For others, it is more difficult, because of vaginal intercourse and functional reproductive organs. Regardless of how difficult it is to TNTC, I still support everyone who is following this path.

Ever since I read about the power of shampoo, I've incorporated hair-washing into my TNTC routine. I must have the cleanest hair in town!

And it really works. Since I started washing my hair 4, 5, or even 10 times a day, I've had no more time for any dates, which of course dramatically increases my chances of not conceiving. I used to wonder about those women in old movies and books who would say "I have to wash my hair" if they were asked out by a guy they didn't like, because I never understood how washing one's hair--even if it was a once-a-week production (as it was in the days of weekly bathing)--could consume an entire evening. Now I understand why all-night hair washing was so popular in the days when douching with coke was the primary method of contraception.

It's put quite a crimp on my love-life, but it's just one of the many things I'm prepared to put up with in my quest of TNTC.

Proudly TNTC for the last 30 thirty years.

I woke up this morning with a joyous tear inmy eye and a spring in my step that has been missing since January. I actually looked forward to work, smiling all day and thorughly confusing my co-workers, who know that I am a vicious bitch every day of the year until Fall. Fall is a magic time for me, a time of celebration, lots of yelling (which I enjoy doing immensely) and gallons and gallons of beer.

Football season.

TNTC has put my body through some vicious pain and inconvenience lately. My angel eggs have been dying quite dramatically recently.

It's your hell; you rot in it!

I was so moved by my latest unpregnancy, I wrote a poem:

O angel egg, nobly born
In your journey toward the formless void
Remember the unity of all perished clumps
And consider whether tis better to suffer
The slings and arrows of tampons
Or to languish sadly in a Diva Cup

Flush

--------------------
"[GFG's pregnancy is] kind of like at the stables where that one dumb, ugly-ass mare broke out of her corral one day and got herself screwed by the equally fugly colt that was due to be gelded the same afternoon."- Shiny

I lost my angel egg this week too. It was stuck on a wad of cotton
Because my Dear Angel Egg, you were nothing but rotten
Removed from my Twat; with one easy, easy shot
And down to the sewer's murky bottom.

My angel egg went down the drain this week. It was a little late in exiting its lush surroundings. The little darling messed up my mood about five times as badly as usual and for about twice as long. It also gave me some hellified cravings. This one would have been a real pistol; I can tell.

Thank you for leaving my body. You know you're unwanted. Please, if you can, from beyond your watery grave, let your sisters know that they can all leave at once if they wish. They can go off and see the world. Float off on grand adventures. You don't have to write.

It's your hell; you rot in it!

Rarely have I felt such a relief as I did last week, when I sent my latest egg - a dastardly future criminal - to its well-deserved end, having spared society the expense of years of incarcerating this bad egg. I spotted its true nature immediately from the sinister misgivings that accompanied excruciating mittelschmerz. There can be no doubt that the beast who engages in such acts at a tender age will only become more violent with maturity; I knew that, given a chance, this monster would murder me with repeated stabs to the gut.

Anyone can tell you that mollycoddling is enabling. That's why I evicted this creature, letting it know on no uncertain terms that I was not prepared to shelter it from the consequences of its actions.

I hope you all realize that this makes me a true hero.


This post was inspired by Miss Hannigan's comment in Well THANK GOODNESS The Eggs Were Saved!:

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Miss_Hannigan
Good luck picking out the cancer-curing egg from the thousands of criminal eggs.

Kim's recent post about angel clumps reminded me that I had not given any recent updates on my own precious bundles of joy.

Recently my eyes were opened when I read an atheist thread. God works in mysterious ways! The person was pointing out the low numbers of people who will get in to heaven, maybe 4 out of 10 or fewer, since only the devout, true believes will be accepted. No, it is not enough to be a 'good' person! At least 6 out of 10 people are doomed to burn in hell for eternity!

This has brought me a measure of healing to my soul. Whereas before I might have mourned the loss of my eggs, I now revel in it. The child is born into original sin, which is why the unbaptized baby is forever lost to the Lord. But the baby who is never born is whisked away from the womb to heaven! God has made me His angel of mercy, assisting me in my holy quest of TNTC. Every egg that was once a part of me avoids the trials of this world and is immediately blessed as it dies before it is born. My success rate for getting people into heaven is 100% - I challenge even the most fervent missionary to better that.

Truly, I am blessed.

I apologize in advance for the thread dredging but I just had to share the good news.

After 10 years of TNTF with DW, and several potential pregnancy scares, I finally got snipped and clipped last week! We are so excited! We have to be careful for this first term, the next three months or so. After that the doctor said the risks of a mistake are exceedingly rare and we will be cleared to bang like jack rabbits with nary a fertility care in he world! We are so blessed!