Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant January 04, 2011 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 12,447 |
Quote
micah
My girlfriend held the stick between her thumb and index finger as I twitched with an anxiousness that gripped me like a twining vine. The rate of my breathing increased as her eyes scanned the reading on the stick. I searched her face for clues the instant that the reality sank into her mind. A tear streamed down her cheek, alerting me to the situation that we now faced. She nodded slowly before wiping the solitary trail from her face.
"Are you serious?" I asked with profound disbelief.
"Positive," she emotionally replied, her arms dropping to her sides.
I leaned toward her and kissed her gently on the cheek. As a couple, we now had some decisions to make.
"Who'da thought it?" I posed in a hushed tone, the shock still fresh.
She looked at me, a smile slowly forming on her face.
"I just can't believe it," I stammered. "Of all the Popsicles in the country, you get the one with the stick that has the $50,000 grand prize stamped on it!"
"Yes!" my dearest love exclaimed as she hugged me firmly and kissed me on the lips. She held up the winning Popsicle stick in full view. "I told you I was positive didn't I?"
"Yes you did, baby." I instantly replied. "Thank goodness that wasn't a pregnancy test!"
We both laughed, knowing the notion of us ever procreating was just plain absurd.
Well, that's my TNTC story. Fictional of course.
Anonymous User
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant January 04, 2011 |
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant January 05, 2011 | Registered: 16 years ago Posts: 2,348 |
Anonymous User
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant January 05, 2011 |
Quote
kidlesskim
wink
Those piss on stick tests commercials with the fugly couples on it who get all teary eyed as it obviously says, "KNOCKED UP!, make me sick. The ONLY reason to get misty eyed is for RELIEF on a negative reading and the anticipation of PAIN if it's a positive. I can't even begin to imagine being overjoyed and teary eyed upon learning that I was knocked up.
Anonymous User
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant January 05, 2011 |
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant January 05, 2011 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 1,442 |
Anonymous User
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant January 06, 2011 |
Quote
reaperess
Two days ago, my thoughts were confirmed. My body, shining miracle that it is, shed its uterine lining and a darling angel egg.
I decided to collect my goddess nectar and drink it for its special, magical, healing, beautifying, energizing, beautiful, unique, extraordinary, arcane, spectacular, wonderous properties. I mixed it with pomegranate juice, because the fruit reminds me of my own special ovary, with its many seed-eggs in its round, ruby shell.
I placed my goddess nectar in a wineglass with pomegranate juice to fill it to the top. I then swirled it together with my favorite glass dildo. I sway-danced around my apartment to Yanni and Enya, sipping my powerful cocktail and letting some drip down my chin and onto my tender breasts.
As I finished the goblet of pomegranate-goddess nectar, I felt a surge of power!
Beams of golden light flowed from my hands! A breeze swirled around me! Wind chimes sounded, although I do not own any! A rainbow appeared in my living room!
I was able to clean my whole apartment in fifteen minutes. I immediately lost fifty extra pounds. My wardrobe even shrank magically to fit the new me. I no longer need glasses. I immediately got a call from my boss and I am earning twice what I was earning before I drank my delicious juices. My teeth are now completely straight and whiter than a movie star's. I am able to play multiple musical instruments and speak 6 languages.
All this is due to my drinking my glorious menstrual extractions. I am a magical, special creature.
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant January 06, 2011 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 12,033 |
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant January 06, 2011 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 1,442 |
Quote
nautilus
Okay-- reading this just made my morning.
Was there a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow in your living room?
My 'goddess nectar' is all gone, for this month. Must remember to collect it in February. larious
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant January 06, 2011 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 7,756 |
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant January 06, 2011 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 1,841 |
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant January 07, 2011 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 1,442 |
Quote
mr. neptune
Reading this I wonder why more women do not have sex change operations to become a man. Every day, I am soo glad to be a man!
Anonymous User
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant January 07, 2011 |
Quote
reaperess
Quote
mr. neptune
Reading this I wonder why more women do not have sex change operations to become a man. Every day, I am soo glad to be a man!
There are inconveniences, sure. However, I do love being female. I'm not sure what I'd do if I had dangly bits to contend with! I've heard men can actually accidentally *sit* on them. YIKES!!!
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant January 08, 2011 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 1,442 |
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant January 08, 2011 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 808 |
Quote
mr. neptune
Reading this I wonder why more women do not have sex change operations to become a man. Every day, I am soo glad to be a man!
Anonymous User
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant January 08, 2011 |
Quote
mr. neptune
Reading this I wonder why more women do not have sex change operations to become a man. Every day, I am soo glad to be a man!
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant January 09, 2011 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 599 |
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant January 09, 2011 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 254 |
Quote
reaperess
Two days ago, my thoughts were confirmed. My body, shining miracle that it is, shed its uterine lining and a darling angel egg.
I decided to collect my goddess nectar and drink it for its special, magical, healing, beautifying, energizing, beautiful, unique, extraordinary, arcane, spectacular, wonderous properties. I mixed it with pomegranate juice, because the fruit reminds me of my own special ovary, with its many seed-eggs in its round, ruby shell.
I placed my goddess nectar in a wineglass with pomegranate juice to fill it to the top. I then swirled it together with my favorite glass dildo. I sway-danced around my apartment to Yanni and Enya, sipping my powerful cocktail and letting some drip down my chin and onto my tender breasts.
As I finished the goblet of pomegranate-goddess nectar, I felt a surge of power!
Beams of golden light flowed from my hands! A breeze swirled around me! Wind chimes sounded, although I do not own any! A rainbow appeared in my living room!
I was able to clean my whole apartment in fifteen minutes. I immediately lost fifty extra pounds. My wardrobe even shrank magically to fit the new me. I no longer need glasses. I immediately got a call from my boss and I am earning twice what I was earning before I drank my delicious juices. My teeth are now completely straight and whiter than a movie star's. I am able to play multiple musical instruments and speak 6 languages.
All this is due to my drinking my glorious menstrual extractions. I am a magical, special creature.
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant January 09, 2011 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 12,447 |
Quote
mr. neptune
Reading this I wonder why more women do not have sex change operations to become a man. Every day, I am soo glad to be a man!
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant January 09, 2011 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 1,354 |
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant January 09, 2011 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 1,841 |
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant January 09, 2011 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 1,269 |
Anonymous User
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant January 09, 2011 |
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant January 09, 2011 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 8,402 |
Quote
mr. neptune
Reading this I wonder why more women do not have sex change operations to become a man. Every day, I am soo glad to be a man!
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant January 10, 2011 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 12,432 |