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TNTC - Not Pregnant devil with smile

Posted by reaperess 
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant devil with smile
January 10, 2011
Quote
yurble
After reading blondie's suggestion, I have realized that I have not really done enough to commemorate my TNTC status. I am getting one drop of blood tattooed to my inner thigh for every time I have successfully NCed, and I am also considering getting a halo over where each ovary is located, and maybe some angel wings on either side of the chute, if you don't think that would be too tacky. Please advise.

I don't think it's tacky at all. I applaud your decision to commemorate your angel eggs and your NC status. In fact, I think that every nine months, you should have a plaster cast made of your non-pregnasty belly and breasts to celebrate the beauty of non-conception. It really is quite the miracle in this day and age to have never borne children.

It's your hell; you rot in it!
Anonymous User
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant devil with smile
January 10, 2011
Quote
reaperess
Quote
yurble
After reading blondie's suggestion, I have realized that I have not really done enough to commemorate my TNTC status. I am getting one drop of blood tattooed to my inner thigh for every time I have successfully NCed, and I am also considering getting a halo over where each ovary is located, and maybe some angel wings on either side of the chute, if you don't think that would be too tacky. Please advise.

I don't think it's tacky at all. I applaud your decision to commemorate your angel eggs and your NC status. In fact, I think that every nine months, you should have a plaster cast made of your non-pregnasty belly and breasts to celebrate the beauty of non-conception. It really is quite the miracle in this day and age to have never borne children.

Make sure that the blood drops are kept really small, though, yurble! Otherwise-- depending on how many periods you have in your future-- you'll be fairly covered in red splotches. waving hellolarious If they're kept tiny, no problem.

Ooh, the plaster casts are a great idea, reaperess! A body that has not been ravaged by pregnasty is quite rare these days. I wonder how much of humanity has forgotten that perky breasts do still exist. The casts could even be donated to a museum. People would marvel at them!
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant devil with smile
January 10, 2011
Quote
reaperess
I don't think it's tacky at all. I applaud your decision to commemorate your angel eggs and your NC status. In fact, I think that every nine months, you should have a plaster cast made of your non-pregnasty belly and breasts to celebrate the beauty of non-conception. It really is quite the miracle in this day and age to have never borne children.

Now that's an idea! I've already had my tummy painted and it was such a magical experience but all I have now are the photos. That's why I'm looking for some more permanent ways to idolize my NC status and memorialize my angel eggs.

Quote
nautilus
Make sure that the blood drops are kept really small, though, yurble! Otherwise-- depending on how many periods you have in your future-- you'll be fairly covered in red splotches. hilarious If they're kept tiny, no problem.

I'm torn between keeping them small so that they can all fit on my inner thighs, and having them large enough so that I can have the name of the child it would have been written on it (those of us without pets have a surplus of good names hanging around in our heads, sadly unused). I'm thinking that I may have to expand my canvas and use most of my body to do this, but only then will people understand the depth of my feelings.
Anonymous User
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant devil with smile
January 10, 2011
I feel that some of you on this thread need to mke a bit more of an effort to be supportive.:bawl

I have contributed no less than 2 posts already, not even including this one now, and had almost no appresheeyayshun shown for my taking the time to share with all of you some of the special highlights of my yooneek and amazing journey on the road that leads to non conception.:hello

One of my precious, special, amazing, snowflakishly one of a kind,superior,incomprarable angel eggs was brought out into the world this past week, I was generous enough to share this with all of you, and you barely aknowledged it! *sniff*:Violin

Not only is this a BIG DEAL, but I think this angel egg is gifted.Possibly autistic, too, so,since it's soooo special, I named it Laveighnderr Twatterfleigh. Yes, it's true It arrived early, demonstrating real go getter, initiative taking personality traits, just like meee meee meee taking the inititive to TNTC. smug



Now, WORSHIP, Dammit!Mr. T: I pitty tha foolhankyou
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant devil with smile
January 10, 2011
Quote
amy
I feel that some of you on this thread need to mke a bit more of an effort to be supportive.:bawl

I have contributed no less than 2 posts already, not even including this one now, and had almost no appresheeyayshun shown for my taking the time to share with all of you some of the special highlights of my yooneek and amazing journey on the road that leads to non conception.:hello

One of my precious, special, amazing, snowflakishly one of a kind,superior,incomprarable angel eggs was brought out into the world this past week, I was generous enough to share this with all of you, and you barely aknowledged it! *sniff*:Violin

Not only is this a BIG DEAL, but I think this angel egg is gifted.Possibly autistic, too, so,since it's soooo special, I named it Laveighnderr Twatterfleigh. Yes, it's true It arrived early, demonstrating real go getter, initiative taking personality traits, just like meee meee meee taking the inititive to TNTC. smug


Now, WORSHIP, Dammit!Mr. T: I pitty tha foolhankyou

I am so sorry I neglected your miryckle! Your story about Laveighnderr Twatterfleigh is so inspiring! You know, autism is all the rage right now! I think it is so wrong and mean of people to just ignore your pweshus sneauxflaiyke.

It's your hell; you rot in it!
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant devil with smile
January 10, 2011
I just realized that we're neglecting something in our spoofs.

i jest relizd that we are negleckting somthin in our spoufs.

Dig?

It's your hell; you rot in it!
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant devil with smile
January 10, 2011
I noticed, but we are their opposites in every way.
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant devil with smile
January 10, 2011
Quote
yurble
I noticed, but we are their opposites in every way.

True true. It was a bit difficult to come up with the second sentence. It pains me to think that stuff comes naturally to some people. *shudder*

It's your hell; you rot in it!
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant devil with smile
January 10, 2011
i am considering getting a plaster casting of my unmaimed, unfloppy, still in shape vagina to commemorate my decision to tntc...
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant devil with smile
January 10, 2011
Quote
reaperess
Quote
yurble
I noticed, but we are their opposites in every way.

True true. It was a bit difficult to come up with the second sentence. It pains me to think that stuff comes naturally to some people. *shudder*

Exactly...that's really creepy. Somewhere, out there, are people for whom poor grammar, spelling, punctuation, and capitalization of their native language is...normal. Dunce cap These people are also extremely likely to be breeding the next generation. :hs

I tried to write a snarky reply to Amy about not acknowledging her experiences because she was in some way not doing something right (something along the lines of a breast v. bottle or a GD v. normal upbringing smackdown), but I was hampered not only by the fact that I couldn't think of an appropriate issue we might vehemently disagree on, but also by my inability to write a sentence in full frothing breederish.
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant devil with smile
January 11, 2011
Yesterday I checked my temperature, and double-checked my black cotton panties. It was the perfect time of month: no matter how much we boinked, it was highly improbable that I could possibly get pregnant even with a catastrophic contraceptive failure. I immediately called my DH and he was thrilled. We arranged to do the deed in the women's toilets at his office at 3 pm.

We were just about to get down to our safety dance when someone entered the restroom. We paused, and I peaked out the gap in the door, only to be completely horrified by the sight that assaulted my eyes. It was my DH's co-worker, and she was pumping her breasts! I felt myself rapidly become as dry as the Sahara at that horrible vision. I mean, doesn't this woman buy all that hype about restrooms being too filthy for babies to eat in? It figures: the one time that we want to use the restroom, thinking we were completely safe, someone decides it's clean enough for her to pump in.

I got dressed and told DH he was on his own and could deposit his crazy glue in the toilet if he wanted, but I had to get the hell out of there before I vomited. I exited the bathroom quickly and ran into DH's boss. "Have you seen DH (of course she didn't call him that, he's just my DH, lol!)?" she asked. "There was a horrible explosion at the maternity ward of the hospital and they need all the help they can get." I briefly envisioned a woman being told to push at the same time as the explosion went off, and the baby shooting completely across the room and out the window. I almost giggled at the mental image of the baby cannon.

"Nope, I haven't," I said innocently. "I was just looking for him. By the way, if you need all hands, you'll find Rachel in the bathroom."

She took my advice and Rachel soon came running out of the bathroom with her blouse still unbuttoned. While they ran off to deal with the 'emergency' I returned to the bathroom where DH was. After all, if his co-workers and clients don't safety dance (and both Rachel and everyone in the maternity ward clearly doesn't) they're no friends of mine.

Oh, yes.
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant devil with smile
January 15, 2011
Quote
yurble
Yesterday I checked my temperature, and double-checked my black cotton panties. It was the perfect time of month: no matter how much we boinked, it was highly improbable that I could possibly get pregnant even with a catastrophic contraceptive failure. I immediately called my DH and he was thrilled. We arranged to do the deed in the women's toilets at his office at 3 pm.

We were just about to get down to our safety dance when someone entered the restroom. We paused, and I peaked out the gap in the door, only to be completely horrified by the sight that assaulted my eyes. It was my DH's co-worker, and she was pumping her breasts! I felt myself rapidly become as dry as the Sahara at that horrible vision. I mean, doesn't this woman buy all that hype about restrooms being too filthy for babies to eat in? It figures: the one time that we want to use the restroom, thinking we were completely safe, someone decides it's clean enough for her to pump in.

I got dressed and told DH he was on his own and could deposit his crazy glue in the toilet if he wanted, but I had to get the hell out of there before I vomited. I exited the bathroom quickly and ran into DH's boss. "Have you seen DH (of course she didn't call him that, he's just my DH, lol!)?" she asked. "There was a horrible explosion at the maternity ward of the hospital and they need all the help they can get." I briefly envisioned a woman being told to push at the same time as the explosion went off, and the baby shooting completely across the room and out the window. I almost giggled at the mental image of the baby cannon.

"Nope, I haven't," I said innocently. "I was just looking for him. By the way, if you need all hands, you'll find Rachel in the bathroom."

She took my advice and Rachel soon came running out of the bathroom with her blouse still unbuttoned. While they ran off to deal with the 'emergency' I returned to the bathroom where DH was. After all, if his co-workers and clients don't safety dance (and both Rachel and everyone in the maternity ward clearly doesn't) they're no friends of mine.

Oh, yes.

Love this!!!

It's your hell; you rot in it!
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant devil with smile
February 28, 2011
The following poster has really helped me stay motivated in my quest to TNTC.


Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant devil with smile
February 28, 2011
I think I had a serious overstock of angel eggs this month, or the new BCPs jacked me up beyond all belief. I can't come up with enough you-neek spellings for the massive angel egg dump (and these new pills are in the trash.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
From a bottle cap message on a Magic Hat #9 beer: Condoms Prevent Minivans
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I want to pick up a bus full of unruly kids and feed them gummi bears and crack, then turn them loose in Hobby Lobby to ransack the place. They will all be wearing T shirts that say "You Could Have Prevented This."
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant devil with smile
February 28, 2011
Good Lordisa, woman! That sucks. One angel egg a month is enough. Sheesh! OTOH, you do have x number fewer eggs to worry about!

I sincerely hope it was the pills and that your doctor can get you back to your regularly scheduled program.

It's your hell; you rot in it!
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant devil with smile
February 28, 2011
I'm glad my specialist (surgeon) got rid of my angel eggs. They are gone forever. No more periods and avoiding protected sex during my most fertile week. It's such a relief to be free from my spayshal snowflaykes, I don't have to be reminded of the possible autistik mystaykes that could of been if I used fertility drugs and ivf. Gosh, the money I saved not contributing to ivf reminds of the very lavish and relaxing vacation I can save up, to visit the Spanish Canary Islands. Oh, whatever am I going to do....

:biggrin2



lab mom
Anonymous User
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant devil with smile
March 03, 2011
I am so UPSET!!!!!!!!!! As soon as this happened I knew that my friends here at TNTC would be the only ones who could possibly understand what I am going through because you are are such special inspirational people with such amazing stories and you are really my ONLY TRUE FRIENDS!!!!

So I had to call into work yesterday because of a nasty flu virus that has been going around. I am still queasy today, but I knew I had to get back to work because the women doing TMIJITW are COUNTING on me! Anyway, I was talking about the fact that I am still a little shaky and one of my coworkers remarked "Maybe you're pregnant!"

WHY?!?!? Why would she SAY something like that to ME?!? What's worse is, SHE KNOWS I AM TNTC!!!! Not only that, but she also knows I am a LESBIAN!!! Why would she rub in my face that my body is still capable of carrying a child? AND INSINUATING that I CHEATED on DGF!!!! What should I do?!? Do you think I should confront her about her insensitivity? Or should I just post on every TNTC board on the web about what a meeeeannn terrrrible person she is?ranting
I personally think that she is just JEALOUS because she has 3 screaming brats at home, while each month I am blessed with another perfect, silent Angel Egg!!!
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant devil with smile
March 03, 2011
I had to leave work early today. Since I'm TNTC, an angel egg decided to leave my body. Unfortunately, when my angel eggs leave me, I get explosive intestinal issues and bloody noses. Does anything like this happen to anyone else?

It's your hell; you rot in it!
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant devil with smile
March 03, 2011
Biblioninja, that is such an outrage!!!! I don't believe in retaliatory rudeness, however, so I suggest you just give her a cold shoulder at work, and the next time she mentions being out sick due to one of her children being ill, give her a dose of her own medicine by remarking, "Perhaps it's fatal."

reaperess: bloody noses? That's a new one to me. Do they fly straight up to heaven through your nose? Mine tend to be pulled down, towards Hell.
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant devil with smile
March 03, 2011
Yeah, Yurble. It's weird to me too! All I know is that I can tell when it's about to start, because my nose will bleed just a bit a couple days before.

It's your hell; you rot in it!
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant devil with smile
April 24, 2011
This month, I had a horrible time with TNTC. I lay in bed, writhing in agony. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat. My back was so sore I couldn't even lie on it. If I tried to get out of bed, I hobbled like an old woman bent over from osteoporosis. My abdomen felt like it was being skewered by swords. Prescription pain medication did nothing. I couldn't think straight; my hormones were raging. I wanted to curl up into a ball.

I have had this condition about half of the time that I have tried not to conceive--many, many times by now. I couldn't see my goal, just a burning ball of pain and agony. Sick and drowning in misery. I remember thinking: "How can I survive like this for another fifteen or more years?" I thought of just throwing in the towel, and giving up my quest to TNTC--anything to avoid the agony. So many women do, you know. They toss their dreams right out the window in hopes of getting over their cramps.

I persevered. (I was awesome enough TO let my angel egg go. Women who do otherwise are losers all the way!)

But I do know this: no matter how much pain and anguish I go through, if it means bringing my angel home, I would do it. And I just think about how Jesus suffered and died for me, so I would for my egg as well.

I know that its a great possibility it will happen again, but I would do anything to TNTC.


Inspired by some of the comments in the original article for Woman Has Abortion to Stop Morning Sickness
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant devil with smile
April 25, 2011
Yikes, Yurble! *heating pad and cup o' tea* Brilliantly written. Love, love, love.

You've reminded me, though, that my time to TNTC is nigh. My body has been sending signals all along - back pain, lower abdominal pain, and the strange nosebleed thing. It appears that I shall be TNTCing quite soon.

I hope that my angel egg will exit softly from this vessel of flesh that I am. Yes. Vessel? For I am a vessel of love, made to send my angel eggs through the veil unscathed and unmarred. As my body changes in preparation for the blessed event, I remind myself to breathe. Yes. I will breathe. I will breathe this angel egg from my body. I shall bleed it forth in a river of life, breathing? Yes, breathing the whole time.

My river of life will serve as a beautiful reminder of my life. My life of breathing and being. My beautiful life, unfettered by gluten children. I will think of good things. I will dance. I will dance my angel egg into the sunlight where she will feel the touch of the breeze from the wings of fairies.

The sun? The sun. It will shine brightly on my days of TNTC, and all physical pain will be a bright, beautiful lesson in all things womanly and right. Pain is the price for being so blessed as to have angel eggs to free. Fly, little angel egg, fly to Buddha. Fly to him, and rest on his belly while you breathe in preparation for the rest of your sweet existence, freed from the love vessel that is me.

It's your hell; you rot in it!
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant devil with smile
April 25, 2011
While you younger ladies still wisp a sweet goodbye to your Angel Eggs, I hug my few remaining eggs close. They don't seem to have the energy to try and leap that expanse between ovary and fallopian tube. The little fimbria no longer reach out to clasp and draw the egg down into the uterus. I have reachedMenopause

In joyous observance of that, I'd like to recite an Ode, written by Menopause Mandy

:::clears throat:::

An Ode .... to Menopause

No more vile hormonal surges
No more homicidal urges
No more bitter, angry wars
Welcome, kindly menopause.

No more monthly ache and pains
No more Tampax blocking drains
No more screams and slamming doors
Welcome, peaceful menopause.

No more bleeding, no more bloating
No more paranoid emoting
Nor trapped in oestrogenious jaws
Welcome freedom, menopause.

My body's biologic clock
Is slowing down, tick tock, tick.....tock
Before old age, a restful pause,
Welcome, gentle menopause.

No more panics, no more dangers,
No more dread of little strangers.
Now's my time, I do believe
The reason why? I can't conceive.
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant devil with smile
April 26, 2011
Everyone keep me in your thoughts, for an angel egg of mine has gone to the big uterus in the sky and that time will soon again be upon me when I am reminded of my TNTC - probably this week, in fact. Oh woe is me. smile rolling left righteyes2
Re: TNTC - Not Pregnant devil with smile
April 26, 2011
The parody, the poems... waving hellolarious I :emoheart this thread.
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