Article: Do Your Childless Friends Drive You Crazy?

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Dear every self-absorbed mother,

As your friend I am aware of the time constraints of spending any time away from your child/ren. That being said, maybe you could agree to meet in the middle on this. I am YOUR friend, not necessarily your child's. Sure I think their cute but..

Please don't all of a sudden look down on my lifestyle. You were right next to me until the bundle of joy came along. Your priorities in life are not any more important than mine, and I do not need to grow up. Try not to judge me because I don't want the same things as you right now, or possibly ever.

Please don't call me while I'm working because your kid's finally napping. Don't call me after their in bed either, I'm probably out enjoying my "wild" life. Please don't complain that your friends don't have time for you because I am always your last priority and don't sit around waiting for your 5 free minutes.

My husband works the next day as well, and so do I. I don't expect you to close bars with me (since I rarely do that myself), but suck it up for a few hours. You may actually have a good time. I have to wear my big girl pants to work the next day, I'm sure you can make it to your living room.

Please don't make me talk to your child on the phone. Nor should you spend the 3 minutes we talk a week, complaining that you haven't showered in 2 days because you "didn't have time". And stop wearing pajamas and sweats out of the house- you look ridiculous.

I've been up since about 5:30, sat in an hour or more of traffic, worked my butt off, made it home by 6 or 7pm, cleaned my house, and then still had time for a few hours of social life. And I did all this without a nap- seriously mothers we're tired of hearing about how ready you are for nap time.

You decided to have a child, not me. I understand that you wanted to dedicate your life to this little person, but my life in no way revolves around your child.

Sincerely,

Every friend you're barely hanging onto

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CF_Amy
A lot of replies are calling this moo self-absorbed. I still maintain children are 1000000% a CHOICE. Even if you did not choose to get pregnant. Abortion is 100% legal in the US and the UK. I don't want to hear how you got pregnant by shagging your baby daddy in the backseat, you made a CHOICE to keep this child. :bedmadelie

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WaterLily

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CF_Amy
A lot of replies are calling this moo self-absorbed. I still maintain children are 1000000% a CHOICE. Even if you did not choose to get pregnant. Abortion is 100% legal in the US and the UK. I don't want to hear how you got pregnant by shagging your baby daddy in the backseat, you made a CHOICE to keep this child. :bedmadelie

This.

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Cambion
I'd say it's for the best to just sever ties with friends once they shit out kyds. And this is because the friends you knew pre-spawning are now dead and gone forever. In their places are empty, soulless shells of humans vaguely resembling those dead friends who have been enslaved by the needs of the almighty sproggen. These empty shells come equipped with horrible attitudes, an exceptional sense of entitlement, the inability to talk about anything that does not relate to their bastards, sagging physical features, weight gain, visible aging, and a superiority complex. They have ruined their lives, but dammit, they're a hell of a lot better than you are. eyes2

This is why it makes me sad when I hear friends saying they want kids someday. It's because I know I'll have to cut ties with them, and some of them are people I truly love. But people change when they have kids and I would rather retain the fond memories I have of my real friends rather than be witness to the asshole-clones who replace those friends once they shit out kids. It's kind of like how when I go to a funeral, I will not look in the casket at the body; it's because I want my last memories of that person to be when they were alive, and not dead in a box looking a lot like a wax sculpture. In short, I want good memories of my loved ones and as few bad ones as possible.

If friends somehow manage to be bearable or at least learn to not talk about their fucking potential kids every second, then I will keep them in my life. But I don't expect such luck.

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dreamlife
From the 18-year-old knocked up again:

"My nurse, however, came and sat on my bed beside me and started telling me how I should have had an abortion with both children! She said how being a young mom is hard and that she didnt think I could handle it! I was shocked, I couldn't believe how someone I didn't even know could be so blunt! All I could do was cry. My fiance was sitting in the chair next to the bed and all he could do was blink!"

I bet her finance was thinking, "How did that nurse read my mind?!"

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CF_Amy
A lot of replies are calling this moo self-absorbed. I still maintain children are 1000000% a CHOICE. Even if you did not choose to get pregnant. Abortion is 100% legal in the US and the UK. I don't want to hear how you got pregnant by shagging your baby daddy in the backseat, you made a CHOICE to keep this child. :bedmadelie

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navi8orgirl
The last comment was pure PNB. They tend to still have friends because they know that "mommy" is not all that they are and even they need a break once in a while.

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Cambion
These empty shells come equipped with horrible attitudes, an exceptional sense of entitlement, the inability to talk about anything that does not relate to their bastards, sagging physical features, weight gain, visible aging, and a superiority complex. They have ruined their lives, but dammit, they're a hell of a lot better than you are.

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lotus
The pre-baby article and the one complaining about childless friends gives me the impression that parents think only their life has any sort of meaning. Like they're the only ones to have the right to talk about how hard life is. I wouldn't be upset at losing friends like that, good riddance I say.

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zatoth

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lotus
The pre-baby article and the one complaining about childless friends gives me the impression that parents think only their life has any sort of meaning. Like they're the only ones to have the right to talk about how hard life is. I wouldn't be upset at losing friends like that, good riddance I say.

wtf is that multiple intelligence thing? i heard about it in schools and about the only thing i can gather is that each child is a different alien lifeform...