This was too good to pass up:
Dumb broad took my chocolate milk.
I was out at a local grocery, just doing a basic food run.
While walking past the milk coolers I grabbed the last two pint bottles of chocolate milk. As I let the door to the cooler close and put the bottles in my cart I notice a rather hefty woman standing a tad too close to me. As I start walking away I hear her say “where are you taking those?”
Unaware she was talking to me I kept walking. Next thing I know my upper arm is grabbed and pulled. Now for reference, I’m about 6’2”, built like a brick shithouse, and generally a fairly bristly person (so I’m sure my demeanor didn’t help the situation.) At first I just sort of stared at her almost surprised that she had the gall to act this way with a stranger that looks like I do.
HW: I said where are you taking those?
Me: what?
HW: what are you doing with those chocolate milks?
Me: buying them?
HW: ok well first off, lose the attitude, and second, I’m sure you’re supposed to let customers have them and not take them for yourself.
Now at this point I will point out that it took me some time to realize that she thought I worked there because the uniform for this store is red shirts and khaki pants. I was wearing tan pants, a red white and blue flannel, and a brown jacket.
Me: what are you talking about?
HW: those were the last two milks. Give them to me.
Me: oh fuck off.
I then walk away a few aisles down to look at soups. I step a few feet away from my cart, so as not to block other people trying to come through the aisle, when I see movement in my periphery. I figure it’s her and decide it’s best to just laser focus on the soup and ignore her. After waiting for a bit and sensing her leave, I go back to my cart and immediately notice my milks are gone. I’m now in a sort of mood where the next person that talks to me could be Tom Hanks and I’d probably be rude.
I continue my shopping when the woman comes walking over with an employee, I’m assuming a manager. She shoves a one of her sausage fingers in my face and shouts about how “this is the employee that took my groceries and told me to fuck off. I want him fired NOW.”
Now that I had realized what was going on I just about lost it:
Me: I don’t fucking work here you moron.
Manager: woah, hey now.
HW: see what I mean? Fire him.
Manager: ma’am he doesn’t work here.
HW: then why did he say he did?!
Me: I DIDNT!
HW: you’d better watch your tone my husband is-
At this point the woman was cut off (though I am genuinely curious as to what her husband was. An eggplant farmer? As big of a cunt as her? The world may never know) by another store employee, this one wearing a black shirt and khaki pants, although the shirt had the store logo on it. I believe he was their asset protection employee.
AP: ma’am may I look in your bag?
HW: what? No. Why?
Manager: what’s up Greg?(not his real name)
AP: was watching the monitors, saw her take something out of this guys cart and put it in her bag.
At this point I start laughing.
HW: (to me) screw you! (To the employees) I was going to pay, I just didn’t want him trying to take them back!
I start to walk up to the front so I can pay and leave. As I get there I notice a couple local police officers walking in and an employee point them offer to the guy in the black shirt who is now walking the woman up front as well. As they walk past me towards a back office I hear one of them explaining to the woman who is now in hysterics that “yes ma’am just hiding them in your purse constitutes retail fraud.”
I then left, wanting nothing more to do with this lady. Moral of the story: play stupid bitch games, win stupid bitch prizes.
two cents ¢¢
CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!
people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong
Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.
The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.
Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.
People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke
Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.
