I think this is beyond hate. There's just not a word to describe how pissed and resentful I am at the chain of events of my life.

Just when you think you are wrapping things up to move on to the next stage of your life, which for us is retirement and travel, some fucking smiling god goes "ooops, gonna trip you up. SORRY!" All said with an evil chuckle

So I'm doing all the right things to make sure I'm in good physical shape. Pap smear - check. Mammogram - check. Dermatologist to check out some funky spots on my over-tanned arms - check. Colonoscopy - *ew* - check.

The colonoscopy was so-so. Doctor found cancer cells on the head of a polyp, but not the stem. He cut it out and wants me back in 6 months, but assures me that he got everything. Everything else is A-OK

Last thing on my list - see a urologist. I thought I had a kidney stone. Pain in my flank, symptoms that the Mayo Clinic page describe as a stone. Turns out I do have a stone, confirmed by a CAT scan and x-ray, but the doctor said "it's so small I can barely see it. That's not what is causing your pain. I see a mass on your kidney that isn't clear, but I've had 30 years of seeing this stuff and it worries me. Could be a complex cyst." So it's back for a dye contrast CAT scan and another appointment in three weeks. Then I started looking up "complex cyst" on the urology sites. It's all scary stuff; from the statement that they are usually involved in cancer, ranging from<5% to a more than 50% chance; to how they are removed. Needle in the side to aspirate under a local, or surgery.

Fuuuck. I hate when this kind of crap happens. HATE IT. I've been in the plow harness for over 30 years, Dh - longer than that. I think we deserve the rest and a chance to travel. And now this happens. Gawdammit.

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Dorisan
I think this is beyond hate. There's just not a word to describe how pissed and resentful I am at the chain of events of my life.

Just when you think you are wrapping things up to move on to the next stage of your life, which for us is retirement and travel, some fucking smiling god goes "ooops, gonna trip you up. SORRY!" All said with an evil chuckle

thoughts prayers etc.

_______________________________________________
“There are three things all wise men fear: the sea in storm, a night with no moon, and the anger of a gentle man.”

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thom_c
thoughts prayers etc.

Thanks, Thom

I was telling Dh today that it's not the possible medical problems that worry me so much. We have good doctors here; the most highly rate hospitals; I'm sure that whatever happens, it will be efficiently and professionally dealt with. Dh has had issues with his carotid arteries the last couple of years: one dissected and useless, the other 85% clogged. After several procedures, he's in good shape and should be good to go for many years.

What I haaaate, is that this is happening. Period. I mean - damn - now? My worries are about the cost of privately purchased medical insurance. Thanks to Obamacare (fuck you Repugs for wanting to gut it) I'm assured of being covered. Before 2014, when we looked into it for Dh, the insurance companies looked at his drug intake (Plavix, a couple other no-no drugs) and said "heh heh. NO." I'll be able to get medical insurance, but I shudder at what it might cost.

Anyway .. I'm just pissed. Dh is telling me to hold out for a little longer. CAT scan next week, we'll get the results the week after Thanksgiving. It could (hopefully) just be a simple cyst. Whatever the results, I'd like to junk punch whatever masters of Fate exist for sending this to me so close to the end of my working years.

Gah! I'm sorry about the health news, Dorisan.
I hope your outcome goes as well as my thyroid did. Suspicious cyst thingy, all tests said it was pre pre pre anything cancerous, but was made of malfunctioning cells. It was causing me discomfort, so out it came. That's the kind of results I want for everyone I know having a health scare...

I don't believe in the law of attraction bullshit, but stress does have a profound impact on our health, so please take care of yourself. I'm in therapy to reduce my anxiety, and I should be doing yoga, meditating, and all sorts of other stress reducers, I just suck at following through.

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Dorisan
GAHHH! The "seen" biff. I don't know what it is about that word; maybe it just sounds so awful, being used in such a broken fashion; but I almost fly into a Hulk-smash rage when I hear/see that word used in the wrong context. Don't those people hear themselves? It doesn't even sound right.

What grates on my nerves is people who spell "paid", "payed". I've seen that more and more lately.

Crap. Major bummer I hope everything turns out well. Take care. Hugs

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JoJo

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Dorisan
GAHHH! The "seen" biff. I don't know what it is about that word; maybe it just sounds so awful, being used in such a broken fashion; but I almost fly into a Hulk-smash rage when I hear/see that word used in the wrong context. Don't those people hear themselves? It doesn't even sound right.

What grates on my nerves is people who spell "paid", "payed". I've seen that more and more lately.

I also fucking hate it when people use an apostrophe "s" for a plural of something. It causes my brain to twitch.

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evilchildlessbitch
Do you have brown recluse spiders in Europe or a similar spider? These bites can cause bad shit including necrosis of th see tissue around the bite which requires antibiotics or surgically removing the infected tissue. Both suck. Make sure it was an insect and not a similar spider. I have seen the results of untreated bites and they suck.

Not as far as I know. I think it was horseflies, those always takea good chunk of flesh. I showed the bites to my dermatologist about one week after they happened and he didn't seem interested at all. They've healed by now, and I've had antibiotics for other reasons.

Dorisan ~

I'm sorry to hear about this ~

But also not - because I know! you will be OK!

Before I start rambling on here (I know I will because it's been a long day) - please do not take any of the following as 'flippant' because I absolutely do not mean it that way. I'm trying to cover myself before I even get started here -

Anyway - what popped into my head was - what if there is *nothing* wrong with you? And this thought did not spring from my general mistrust of doc's or 'the med biz' so to say (that too) -

No WHY this popped into my head is - *I too* had a pain in the area you describe - for me - it was on the R side between hip and rib - felt like a pulled muscle. I was also sneezing constantly (thought it was allergies), tired (I often am) (and insomnia), and generally run down (often also). I WAS SICK.

It was a "bug". And it began - right around the time you made the above post. Numerous other people I know - *had the same thing* - at the same time or slightly before / after. This would be (people I know) - in IL, IN, and MI.

There is this 'bug' going around - what if - that's what it is?

What if they are wrong?

Could be. Not only do people make mistakes - all that expensive equipment is not going to pay for itself ~

Also - I am feeling the urge to give you a 'Cambion Style' pep talk How about that? - for you - about 'healthy eating'.

But I know you know that ~ ~

But remember also - if you would be sick (my guess is - probably not, or not serious) - 'healthy eating' can not only 'stave off' many issues - it can improve and correct many issues too.

Here's a way to get a 'clean bill of health' also - dress like a slob and say you're homeless and have NO insurance. Watch how fast you get a Perfectly Healthy! diagnosis.

Wait - I think I forgot that Pep Talk

Eat healthy. Exercise. Embark on a self improvement plan.
And that goes for all yous lazy bums too!

Ha.
Because I know you will be fine

Thanks Zelda

I'm pretty sure there's something going on, just not how severe. I'm actually kicking myself a bit because I told my primary physician back in June that I had been having pain; not sure if I told her of the duration. She had me do a pee test, but considering that I had given her a laundry list that day ("I need a mammogram, a Pap smear, who do I see about a colonoscopy ... oh, and there's this weird pain on my side") she just checked it for an infection and said I was fine. I guess I didn't press her that day because of how stressed I was about the head-to-toes checkup. Even got a fucking anal probe to check for blood in my stool. Now I know what alien abductees feel like.

So, come October and there had been several nights of not being able to sleep on that side because it felt like I had a golf ball sewn into that side of my night shirt, I went back and said "you gotta take a closer look at this."

I'm aware, through looking at some urology sites, that at least a third, maybe even half, of people over 50 develop kidney cysts. So, hopefully it's just a simple one. I had the "pleasure" (*snark*) of going through an IV contrast CAT scan yesterday. It was interesting, but when the technician said "now I'm going to start feeding the dye into the IV, you're going to feel like you're peeing yourself," I really did feel like I was peeing myself. Didn't help that I was told to abstain from fluids after midnight, then walked into the office, was handed 32 oz of cold water and told to drink it in the next 10 minutes. After the test was over and I was told I could leave, I bolted from the imaging room and almost knocked down an old lady to beat her to the bathroom. As we were driving down the interstate to get home, I saw a sign for the rest area and told Dh "stahhp! I gotta go again!"

PSA for anyone who might have to do an image scan in the future - wear sweats and a tee shirt. Ladies - a sports bra. If you have anything metal that will pass through the scanner, it has to come off. This was my second scan; I learned from the first one when I had to take off my bra and jeans, without being given a gown, only draped with a blanket. It might be different at other places, but the one I'm sent to has all guy technicians and I did NOT feel comfortable with the procedure the first time.

Dorisan, I'm sorry to hear you are going through this, and I hope you are feeling better soon. Please take care and keep us updated. I will keep you in my thoughts.

flightsuits.

I hate 'em

_______________________________________________
“There are three things all wise men fear: the sea in storm, a night with no moon, and the anger of a gentle man.”

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thom_c
flightsuits.

I hate 'em

I imagine they're worse than overalls, a fashion from the 80s that I can't believe I indulged. Having to hold the straps together in one hand while sitting down on the toilet, lest one hears a *splish plink* as a buckle tumbles into the water ....

But, at least flight suits are considered sexy when shown in a slo mo walk

The Armeggedon Walk

Even better when they are space flight suits, strutting down the tarmac, knowing that you are going to save the world with your crotch strapped into a harness

LINK

Dorisan, hope all the test results come back fine. Nobody needs this shit

Offering you a glass of virtual champagne. ..oh hell, the whole bottle! when the doc says you're fit as a fiddle.

I am sorry. I hope you will be OK.

@Dorisan, I'm also sorry to hear you're having health problems. Keeping fingers crossed for good test results. Also, I've had the IV contrast CAT scan too and even though I was warned that I'd feel like I'd pissed my pants, it was still a mindfuck because I thought the techs were just being dramatic. I guess I can cross "experiencing wetting my pants without the mess" off my non-existent bucket list. It did keep me warm, at least.

I also had an "a-ha" moment in regard to my complaint about oily hair and shampoo. I realized that my hair probably was more tolerable buildup-wise before because I've been bleaching my hair for the better part of the last decade. Only within the last year have I decided to dye it back to its original color and grow it out, which has resulted in extra oil because my hair is now "healthy" again. A little too healthy, it seems. Dandruff shampoo seems to help it be slightly less gross, but I'm still trying to find something that will let me have clean hair for longer than 20 hours.

One more thing to add to the hate list that might be kinda TMI (read: girl plumbing problems), so apologies in advance: I hate that the BC pills I've been prescribed to stop my constant bleeding have not only failed to stop said bleeding, but caused me to bleed even more heavily. My usual brand would have been $200 per month without insurance, so I had to go with something generic. The first week on the pills I was pretty dry (which I think may have just been one of the occasional lulls I get in my "usual" routine), then the last three weeks of the pack I was bleeding. The final week when I'm supposed to get a period, I've been bleeding so badly that I don't even feel comfortable going anywhere because I'm soaking through super-absorbent tampons about every 2 hours, so I essentially get a period that's heavier than any I've ever had on top of the "usual" bleeding. When I get up in the morning, I just run to the bathroom, hop in the tub and hope I make it in there before I leave a puddle on the carpet. Not to mention cramps so bad that I can't sleep. And of course, my doctor is never available for me to talk to for five minutes, meaning she'll return my call in about 2-3 weeks.

Seriously, WTF?! I thought BC pills were supposed to help control bleeding, not make it worse. This is such horse shit. I wish I could be back on my old brand - not only did they work, there were no side effects other than the possibility of a larger cup size. My doctor prescribed me a year's worth of these pills and I am not fucking taking them anymore if they fail this hard. I've got about 10 other generic BC pills I can possibly try, so I guess I just need to try them all until I find the most tolerable one. I don't know if this bleeding is going to let up, but if not, I might have to upgrade to those dildo-sized ultra tampons just to be able to confidently sit in a public place without ruining my jeans for a few hours.

Also, I might not have an issue with bleeding if my doctor would quit being a cunt and prescribe me the goddamn thyroid pills I need. She knows I have hypothyroidism, but since my TSH came up 3.76 last month (which is within normal range as far as the hospital is concerned), she decided she's not going to give me any thyroid pills at all. Instead, she'd rather just treat one of the symptoms. I hate my doctor. I applied for insurance on November 1st and am eligible for Medicaid, so I'm hoping I actually can get it so I can find a doctor who knows what the fuck they're doing.

Hope everything goes well, Dorisan.

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Also, I might not have an issue with bleeding if my doctor would quit being a cunt and prescribe me the goddamn thyroid pills I need. She knows I have hypothyroidism, but since my TSH came up 3.76 last month (which is within normal range as far as the hospital is concerned), she decided she's not going to give me any thyroid pills at all. Instead, she'd rather just treat one of the symptoms. I hate my doctor.

Cambion, is this your primary care physician or a specialist? Sounds like you should be seeing an endocrinologist. If your PCP is prescribing a remedy that doesn't work, then they should consider it beyond their scope to deal with and send you to someone who knows the field. From what Dh and I have been dealing with, it's what the insurers want. They don't want you constantly going to the doctor, they want you fixed so they can quit spending money on you. There's some whiz bang term for it; I'd have to go back to my insurance provider's site to find it; but I had to watch a video to get a discount on my insurance, basically stating that the less visits to the doctor, the better.

ETA: It's HCM "Health Care Manager." Your PCP is no longer considered just a doctor, but someone who "manages your health." With most everything being online (which I consider pretty cool) and patients encouraged to remain within an organized network and database - all the doctors and hospitals are under the same umbrella, even though it's not technically an HMO - your HCM has access to your entire health history and should be able to "manage" your health care accordingly. There's even some sort of certification for it, according to our insurer's site, which accords your HCM extra bennies for the higher level of expertise.

I dunno, it's supposed to be some proven way to bring down costs. To me, and my OCD sense of organization, I like it.

My "doctor" is a specialist. She's OB/GYN, but she's also a nurse practitioner rather than a doctor doctor. I refer to her as my primary care physician because she's the last medical professional I visited within the last 2 years (and all my other GPs have quit/retired). And I know I should be seeing an endocrinologist, but it's a matter of insurance. Personally, I think the lady I see now should have referred me to an endo two years ago when my thyroid panel came back abnormal, but she said she was qualified to treat thyroid disease. Not only that, she discouraged me from seeking a second opinion from an endo. I think she'd rather just throw shit at the wall and see what sticks so she can get paid than refer me to someone who knows WTF they're doing.

She also told me there was no generic version of the BC pills I was on before that worked, but after doing some reading, I found out there IS a generic version of Ortho Tri Cyclen Lo (called Tri Lo Sprintec). She also wasn't familiar with generic BC pills and she told me to find out the names of generic pills and then I guess she just picked a random one and prescribed me a year of it. My usual brand is a tri-phasic pill, while the shit I'm on now is monophasic. I wonder if that makes a difference.

But hypothyroidism is not something I want to try and treat without insurance. I know there's going to be a lot of initial tests, exams and dosage adjustments before I can hope to start feeling better. Plus, if this gushing doesn't let up, I'm going to need to probably go see an actually competent doctor to make it stop since my current physician seems to just want me to stay on birth control indefinitely rather than trying to fix the real problem (or refer me to someone who can fix it).

Hey Dorisan, sorry you're having health issues! *HUGS* and happy thoughts send your way!

Dorisan -

For what it's worth - I STILL am kinda sick - and I got that pain in my side again!

In my case - I'm sure this is some kind of lingering 'bug'. I know I saw someone else here mention having something similar. I think it's some kind of 'intestinal bug'.
So maybe *this* is what's wrong, you have the same?

Now the pain in my side - it's the right side and is 'up higher' and because I'm wearing 'low rise' jeans - it's about where they sit. I was thinking to myself that what may be causing it is - I have been exercising more, including long walks, and on these walks I try to 'keep the correct posture' - so I was thinking - maybe that was it / pulled muscles or some such.
It comes and goes.

I was also thinking that it might be 'my shoes'. I have been wearing my 'hiking boots' which have an apx. 2" heel (wedge / platform) - which is the type and height of shoes I *always wear*, so that can't be it. However - I always put 'insoles' in my shoes - like the Dr. Scholls (or store brand knock offs) - because I want to keep the interior of the shoes nice, and it gives you a slight bit of padding. Well, I need to replace those because - on the *right* shoe - it's 'bunching up' when I walk - and I may be 'walking funny' in compensation - I thought that could be it.

Or also - now I keep losing weight without even trying so my new smaller jeans are already too big - and keep falling down. Of course if you have no hips or ass to hold up the hip huggers ~
So I'm constantly yanking the things up, I thought maybe "I twisted something" doing that ~

But I don't think so. I think this pain is related to some "intestinal bug". Which I've had for off and on A MONTH now! I CANNOT seem to get rid of this!

There IS "something going around" - I know I've seen it mentioned here somewhere - something sim to what I describe, and I hear all kinds of people coughing too.

What about this "C Diff" thing I see people speak of? I'm not sure what that is but I've seen med people talk about it. I just went to look for 'symptoms' - and like most med things - there's alot of ambiguous info.

Maybe one of our resident med folk could explain this for us better.

I got some kind of 'hanging on' and 'resurging' illness happening here, I know it. All I have been doing is trying hard to eat healthy and take my vitamins. If it means anything - I seem to have had a relapse of whatever this is - after eating dairy. (It was Vanilla Gelato. I was told to keep away from dairy / I might be intolerant (by a friend, not a med person) but I think they may be right because I seem to have lost my tolerance for dairy things (which I try to keep low / only eat infrequently.) Was that it?
Or - is this 'thing' just 'coming back on me'?

(I was also told, at the outset - that it could be allergies (because I was constantly sneezing) - but I got all kinds of allergy meds and they did not help. I kept sneezing. But then - this never morphed into a head / sinus thing - it seemed to carry on to the guts.)

It's a weight loss opportunity! But - you know you might be sick when you look in the mirror and remind yourself of Kate Moss in her bad binging days. Or one of the Olsen Twins ~
BLARG.

I got "something". And "it's" going around. Someone else mentioned it here too (already forgot who or where), same symptoms. Actually, maybe more then one.

I know my one Grandma used to say that you can get "A cold on your Kidneys". I'm not sure what this means - My point again is - maybe it's just some 'weird illness' that's going around? It's come back on me three times so far, that I know.

Another weird pain - I often have pains in my legs and feet, could be Arthritis. Could be exacerbated by the 'strange and hard core drugs' I was given when I was seriously ill a few years ago. One side effect of these is joint and tendon pain. Esp. in the Achilles tendon at the back of the ankle. With this 'illness' I was getting body aches too - but one weird thing was - my legs / feet / ankles - hurt on *the sides* of the ankles. Like if you would go from the Achilles tendon 90^o 'out' - to 'the sides', the 'outsides' - this area felt very stiff and sore on both legs, both in the same area.

And again - I have not been doing any unusual exercises nor worn any different shoes. I have mostly had the aforementioned 'hiking boots' on, or sim shoes of a sim heel height (oldies that I wear all the time). I have even *decreased* my 'exercise walks' because I haven't been feeling well - so why *these pains*? That area, 'the side of my ankles' so to say - was so stiff it was like Rigor Mortis. WTF? That also came and went with the 'resurgences' of this 'illness'.

Sorry to go on here about this - but I did want to mention all of this in case others have sim issues - and IMO 'this' is all related to 'something that's going around'.

WAIT - One Moar Gripe ~
And I HATE to be judgemental of people, but ~
Earlier today I went to the store. A discount grocer where you used to 'bag your own stuff'. Which I LIKED because IMO I can do a better job of bagging, anyway. I can organize things the way I want. (Which I do because that's how it 'goes in' to the house - keep pops together, have the frozen things in one bag, any 'bathroom' things in one bag - then you can put these in their respective areas and go from there, esp. get your frozen put away first). Well now - they have baggers. Including some retards. I have NO problem with these people! I am GLAD stores give them jobs!
However -
The thought came to me - because the one I got today was fairly "hard core" / was literally babbling in gibberish - and I thought to myself - do some of these people even know how to wipe their asses correctly? Or wash their hands?

So when I got home I *wiped everything off*. I am paranoid of germs! And as we all know - Kids, Moos, and Famblees are notorious for spreading things. I ALWAYS watch out for them, too. They're often dirty, do not clean selves. And a "child like" adult who cannot string two words together and is grunting like an Awtard - you have to figure that this person may not be the cleanest, either. Esp. if they lump all your stuff together willy nilly. They may be wiping their asses and washing their hands in the same haphazard fashion ~

GAH

Well anyway - I hope you will feel better soon D And it may be just a passing thing. Something is "Pre Cancerous"? Snort. Women are Pre Pregnant too, don't forget. They may be going alarmist to "order more tests". Another thought that just came to me - did any of these people think to look for, or test for - a simple, common, illness? Do they even bother to read up on 'what's going around'? I bet they do - or they may get 'alerts' about some things 'going around' like a Meningitis outbreak at the local HS. I know they do, I saw it on the news. The rest of 'ordinary things' they probably ignore. Until it's shown to be some kind of odd Bird Flu or something - and then they'll all jump on the band wagon to diagnose you with *that*.

Nota Bene - No dis to our Med Folk here - because I know they are *the best* of the best! The rank and file of them though ~
Just like the rank and file of *anybody* ~
You have to watch it, watch them, take it all with a grain of salt, and do your own research.

My car. I watch them like a hawk involving my car. Same thing - MANY more parts too! I got lucky and found a good shop here, in my new area. These guys are really good. Like the Brain Surgeons of cars. I still watch them -
And have caught *them* in a few errors too! The most blatant - I took it in there for - Whatever Problem. Guy (who no longer works there) called me back to discuss it - and then tried to Sales Pitch me their latest special of a $29.95 oil change. I told him - that won't work for my car. It takes 8 - 10 liters of synthetic oil and an 'oil change' runs in the $200 range.
Oh. Yeah. You're right. Whoops! Guy almost fucked up right there! And an asshole customer - might've pressed this point and said "That's the price you quoted me" - and they'd lose money. I was honest and brought it to his attention. Which he should've known anyway.

I think (some) - Human Diagnosticians - treat people the same way. UPSELL! MOAR TESTS!
Everyone's trying to make money.
And anyone can be wrong.

Or purposefully disingenuous ~ for sales purposes ~

Perhaps the definition of a first-world problem: I hate artists' block. I honestly cannot remember the last time I drew anything for myself that I genuinely liked. The last few years, I've struggled so much with art and it's insanely frustrating when I can picture something in my head and want to draw it, but I just can't make it look the same on paper or on screen. It makes me not want to draw at all because all I do is wind up getting pissed off that I can't make a simple pose look right. I've been meaning to finally start a large public art project, but I just can't when I feel like this. Drawing/ideas no longer come naturally, nor is it as enjoyable, and I fucking hate it when I have an idea that I really want to make real, but can't. I've also slowly been drifting away from hand-drawn art because the margin of error is much smaller than with digital art (and I am a VERY messy sketcher, which is tough to erase).

I think this might be why I drag my ass on so many commissions - I just can't ever be happy with anything I make anymore. I don't know what's wrong with me. I used to really enjoy drawing, but I've just had chronic artists' block for years. It sucks because I no longer enjoy doing something special, or I don't enjoy it as much as I did before.

It's especially tough when other people say they enjoy my work because I just don't see what they see. I think part of it is I hold myself to really high standards - I can't be comfortable with my own art style and my own limitations, and I always want to be as good as someone else instead of doing things within the scope of my own skills because I don't feel confident about my skills and want to improve.

This is just weighing heavily on my mind because I've been struggling to do a simple goddamn sketch (something personal and for fun) for two days and I can't get it to look right.

The idiot upstairs who is convinced I'm the person not taking their clothes out of the basement washer and dryer. First time she asked me if I had anything in the washer downstairs. I say I don't use the downstairs laundry stuff since we have an in unit washer/dryer. Anything that can't fit in our unit washer/dryer can't fit in the downstairs washer or dryer.

A month later she pounds on the door demanding I take my stuff out of the dryer, I tell her again I don't use the downstairs laundry since I have my own. This time the washer was in the spin cycle and it's very noisy. I ask her why the fuck would I pay $2.50 per load downstairs when I can use my washer for the cost of electricity and water? She gets huffy and leaves.

About an hour ago she pounds on the door again, this time lecturing me on how I'm so inconsiderate and rude for leaving stuff in the washer. I interrupt her and repeat again that I have a washer/dryer Mr. Smith and I haven't used the downstairs facilities since 2000 fucking 7. This is turning into harassment and if she pounds on my door again I'm calling security and closed the door. I then emailed my friend on the board and asked for advice.

Looking forward to retirement and my own Childfree compound.

I'll just add one thing to this list for now.

I really hate it when a gal gets all freaked out because I had the nerve to smile in her direction and possibly even say hello.

Yeesh, it's called politeness. Just because I am acknowledging your existance does not mean I am hitting on you. I've had enough of that reaction since 1980 or so (jr. high FFS) to last me a lifetime, and ensure that I determined to stay single and unattached.

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ravenplume
I'll just add one thing to this list for now.

I really hate it when a gal gets all freaked out because I had the nerve to smile in her direction and possibly even say hello.

Yeesh, it's called politeness. Just because I am acknowledging your existance does not mean I am hitting on you. I've had enough of that reaction since 1980 or so (jr. high FFS) to last me a lifetime, and ensure that I determined to stay single and unattached.

I noticed your Intro and just went back and looked to see if you're a guy. Looks like you are. I was thinking of "men hitting on me" - and then I thought - enough of women hit on me too, so what's the diff?

Anyway, in regards to men - ERG.

Today was 'one of those days' and I decided to hit the liquor store. Sixer O'Diet Beer, I'm not a heavy drinker. Everybody else in the place looked like they *were*. GAH. This is why I avoid liquor stores. Even though this place - the man who runs it is very nice. Him and his wife both, you don't see her too much though.

The "customers" in there - are a different matter. Several men eyeballed me including one slob in the parking lot who was on a bicycle.
I'm having a vague memory - I think somebody got shot at this place recently ~

Creepy scumbags ~

It hardly matters the place, either. Nor do they need to be a toothless old drunkard riding a bicycle. They could 'look OK' - but yet there is something lecherous, creepy, and even sinister about them.

I get ALOT of men 'looking at me' - which I ignore and carry on. Just like those doing everything from begging to preaching to cult recruiting (there are plenty in any urban area) - you do not make eye contact, you do not engage with them.

And you kind of have to do it with everybody. *Because of* - The Weirdos.

If someone says Hello to me, I say hello too - and keep moving. Or I might nod at you. If you're a gross weirdo who looks like he (or she) just got thrown out of skid row - Ima ignore you.

Yes, women 'look at' and 'suggest' things to me too. They're not so blatant. Like an over eager slobbering dog. They kind of try to 'size you up'. To see if you're gay, I guess.
Sometimes I WISH! I could be gay! At this other place I go (grocery store) - there's this one butch MX girl who's always looking at me. She's quite cute but also looks like she could kick your ass. She always smiles and nods at me. Or smirks and rolls eyes at me re some moron customer, a disgusted smirk is her usual expression. I think she has her eye on me. Too bad I'm not gay.

There's another one at another grocery store - she's always eyeballing me, and remembers me - it's not a store I frequent. Always excited to see me.

I have also had female friends suggest to me - joining in with them and their H or BF. That's really weird IMO - Yikes! You have thought of me 'in that way'?

We have to fend all this off, Brother. It ain't you - it's all the Creepazoids out there. Not that there's anything wrong with any of it, either. But - if you personally aren't interested - well you have to deflect it.

I was just now trying to think of "the worst instance" - but what popped into my head was the ASSHOLE SALVATION ARMY BELL RINGERS!!! Speaking of harassment ~

Men, even creepy men, did not even register. We don't hate you guys - it's the creeps. Not you. And those don't even bother me that much. When I went scanning the brain files for what really aggravates me - might be from talking stores, might be the season - but if there's anyone RAGE WORTHY - it's these fucking ASSHOLES!!!

You guys 'just trying to talk' - are no where near this annoyance level. Not to me, anyway. And I probably would talk to you - as long as you don't come off as a Creeper.