Rude Bitch CoWorker

I used to work in the sales field (have mentioned it here before), but because I'm also doing a bachelor's degree in a hard science field via night classes, I needed to switch to something less stressful for a day job, so now I have a desk job in a stereotypical "The Office" type of environment. I like it a lot - decent salary, easy hours, nice boss, no dealing with rude customers, etc. It's definitely not what I want to do FOREVER, but it's perfect for the next 2-3 years until I finish my degree and can go do humanitarian work in other countries with it and have more financial/job freedom.

Like I said, I like almost everything about the job...EXCEPT this rude bitch I work with. She's not my boss, but she used to be in the position I am currently in, and she's been showing me how to do things since this week was my first week. Also, I'm the new person, so I have to get along with everyone and not make any waves.

She's the most unfriendly coworker I've ever had in my life. She doesn't say anything explicitly rude content-wise, so there's nothing I could quote to HR etc.,but her tone of voice always has this draining, condescending ultra negative vibe to it. She's really overweight, has long scraggly gray hair, has this permanent scowl on her face all the time, and looks/acts just like fucking Eeyore.

With her, it's like you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. Whenever I take initiative and do something on my own that I'm confident I can do, even stupid shit like sorting the mail, she will either get nasty about how I should have talked to her first, or she will make some passive-aggressive comment about how i must be the best [job title] in the company because I can "already" do that (in a way that implies that I am stuck up, or that I think I am above asking for instruction). But then, when I actually DO have a question/want her help, if it's the 2nd or 3rd time I've done it and I want to verify a part of the process, she'll make some shitty comment about how "as we discussed already" or will imply that I don't listen etc. Even though I've told her prior that I'm a kinesthetic/hands-on learner and need to verify a process a few times before getting the hang of it, which all my other coworkers have always been 1000% fine with. Also, recently another co-worker asked me to do some quality control work (editing) on a project, and the rude hag lady starts passive-aggressively shaking her head at the other co-worker in this "how dare you give Thunder an assignment behind my back" way. Then the other co-worker politely but coolly tells her that our higher-up boss actually wanted me to do it because they needed the extra help, and that [rude bitch] could feel free to verify that with [big boss] if she wanted. Rude bitch then just gets silently bitchy at me after: no words, but just the long irritated sighs, eye rolls every few mins etc.

I dress professional, am articulate, have great workplace demeanor, etc., and I also have a really friendly extroverted manner with everyone, so I can't see personality clash being an issue - it's not like I sit around and dump work on people or come in late etc. Also, I'm on great terms with everyone else so far, and I think if there was some kind of professional problem that others would have had issues as well.

I think this person might have a reputation as being the office bitch. When I dropped some work off for the other person, I was like "I just wanted to check, does everyone seem cool with me so far?" and she was like "Oh, yes! Don't worry about anyone who seems...a little abrupt" and I was like "Do the people who are abrupt get like that with everyone, or is it just me?" and she was like "Ohhh...I've gotten into it with [rude bitch] a few times...don't worry about it" with that subtle smile that says "I can't say anything out loud but you know what I mean" voice.

So who knows?
Ugh...
I love this job and everything about it EXCEPT for her.

It seems like this chick has some major insecurity issues. I'm also getting the sense that she's jealous of you.

Don't let her get to you. If she keeps it up, she won't last for long.

I'm glad you like your job. I'm too in the process of changing from sales/retail to a receptionist position.

Quote
empresskitty
Don't let her get to you. If she keeps it up, she won't last for long.

:::gloom:::

I don't want to dishearten Thundergirl, but it will depend on management's view. If b* coworker has been around a long time, it's likely management knows about her as well as HR. I know whereof I speak, having to deal with someone like her.

Management views my b* coworker with amusement. "Bossy old broad, ain't she?" seems to be their view. HR says that she isn't breaking rules, she's just an unpleasant worker; the other people just need to find a way to get along with her.

The only thing I can counsel is detachment, or look for a new job.

It's a shame that those kind of people are allowed to stay when there are many, many deserving workers out there who'd be pleasant to work with.

Thank you guys both for your replies! EmpresKitty, I wish you all the best of luck with your receptionist job-finding. In your interviews, put a lot of focus on how you're not only organized/competent/etc, but also talk about how the receptionist is often the first impression of the company and you realize your duty to treat everyone with respect/project a great reputation to make clients want to come back. That was helped me land my mainly-receptionist role. I do other stuff too, but mainly the desk. I'm like Pam from "The Office."

On the matter of the Rude Bitch, I've got to agree with Dorisan. The rude bitch has been there for like 8 years, and hasn't done anything tangibly wrong that's easy to report: just being a passive-aggressive negative cunt all the time with her communication style .I really cannot stand her. I'm going to try the "kill her with kindness" approach though, since that's all I can do in this situation. I'll offer to take her out to lunch, etc. and be super super nice and then weave in the "I want to make sure I didn't unintentionally step on your toes at some point" approach. And if she still is a rude bitch, then I can maybe figure out a way to talk to HR in a "I want to make sure I'm doing everything I can to fit in well here, because ..." way, so it doesn't make me look like I'm the one with a bitch/adjustment problem.

At this point I can't really look for another job. I wasn't at my previous one for that long, and it was a huge hassle and stressful ordeal trying to find a new one (had to though, because my previous one was far too high-pressure, esp. for being in school too). One snobby uptight bitch is really not enough reason for me to go through that again, esp. since the hours and pay and easy duties part are all nice.

I guess I just would like some tips for dealing with her on a day to day basis?

Also, feel free to share your own rude bitch coworker stories and how you dealt with them,

Deleted message. I just noticed this is the Patio. I read this board at work. If anyone tracks where we go (and I have a strong suspicion someone does by the sites that have been blocked after I visited them) then I think there were too many recognizable details in my post.

I bet it was a good story too! Sorry your work tracks you that closely.

I have a suspicion that the other lady in my group thinks I'm a bitchy McHag too. Although I actually think the same of her and she's actually jealous. *snicker*
She is older than me, has a really good case of office-ass in the works(although I can't say too much because I gained five pounds recently and it's being VERY stubborn), and she came to our group from the call center, so she's got a really thick veneer of "everything's sunshine no matter how pissed I am!".
And boy does the fakey syrup voice rub my fur the WRONG way. I am honest to a fault, can't lie to save my ass, and she probably thinks I have far too few social skills to work in an office.
If it didn't pay so well, I'd agree!

I just ignore her as best I can, and she does the same in return, although I've been catching her intentionally leaving me out of things when she thinks she can get away with it.
She can't though, in our four person work group there is her, one other awesome dude, and me and my husband!
If only she didn't have seniority on me, I'd never give her another thought, but I know she'll bump me given the opportunity, as in mandatory layoffs, she'll never go back to the call center even though when we got her she swore it was no big deal and she made as much as we did with all the incentives... She saw a job listing for our group and bumped someone more qualified(again with the seniority), she thought it looked easy, but five years in she still has multiple questions every day.

Okay, sorry, I got to ranting! I don't have very good advice because I'm not very competent socially.
I'm in it to grin and bear it for another eight years.
I would probably exaggeratedly commiserate, like when she gets to shaking her head about you,agree with her, "Oh I know! I don't know how you put up with such an incompetent hire like me! I wouldn't want to work with me either!"
But she's probably just dying to make you cry. Then she can look down on you forever for being "weak". Shitty bitches like that get off on pushing your buttons.
You've got my sympathy, if it helps.

Quote
Presto
I bet it was a good story too! Sorry your work tracks you that closely.

I change the password on this site frequently just in case there are keystroke monitors. Dunno why, except that place does make me feel a little like the edge of a knife is running down my spine :goggle

My last workplace, just about everything was blocked pre-emptively. Facebook, message boards, youtube. 'bout the only internet sites we could access were news and weather. At the current place, I think someone checks the logs, looks at where people are surfing, and says "nope. bad place" :::clicks the BLOCK box:::

Anyway .. my goal is to be as amenable as possible to the likeable folks (which is really just about everyone), ignore the PITA-types, put in my hours, do my best, go home. This job is really just a stop gap until I get Dh to Medicare (less than 2 years), then we'll see.

I totally get your situation, but I'd love to hear your story if you get a chance away from work.
Is it bad of me that other peoples' workplace horror stories make me feel better about my job?
I'm at my first desk job and used to get on here even at work right up until the first decent competitor to the iphone came along. Been using my phone ever since.
They've got some strange sites blocked, there's a lyrics site flagged as porn here, but they didn't used to track by individual PC, just work group, and I overheard some boss of the group behind me talking to this asshole who sat behind me that the "group" had gotten repeated reports of porn being accessed and a bit of ribbing, "It was probably you, Mary!"(the asshole behind me.)
We've been sold since, and I'm not sure if the new owners are more or less strict, or just running with the previous protocols, so I only pull up news on my desktop anymore.

Quote
thundergirl85
Also, feel free to share your own rude bitch coworker stories and how you dealt with them,

Oh wow I could have written your post! I was just in the exact same boat only sadly, I lost my job about a month ago. Why? Because I stood up to her and she apparently went crying to our boss and our head/main office (which is in another town and run by the owner).

So here's my story....With a bit of background first.....

Basically I was sent there by a temp agency (last February 2013) to work in place for a woman who took a medical leave for a hysterectomy. I was to work about 4-6 weeks, part-time hours (three set days a week). Bitch co-worker worked 4 set days a week and had been with the company about four years (coworker - only about 5 months). At first I thought that my and Bitch's roles were pretty much the same - admins. It was a small office - manager and a few sales reps (this was a sub-contractor in the commercial residential homebuilding field).

My first week there, boss brought me into his office behind closed doors to talk to me, like a 'getting to know you' type of thing. He asked if I was looking for part-time permanent work, because Bitch wasn't working out. He said that she gave him shit about having to work more hours when coworker took medical leave and she didn't want to work more, and insisted that he get a temp in to answer phones and do the menial clerical stuff so she didn't have to do it. After the meeting, Bitch cornered me and asked why Boss talked to me and what did we talk about, and asked if we talked about her. I just told her it was a 'getting to know you' talk so that Boss knew the kind of work that I do.

So Bitch trained me on the basics - the data entry and other clerical stuff. I will admit that she did a good job and I even told Boss that she was going a nice job of teaching me things. She sat in the front open area (like a mini showroom area) at a reception desk and I had an actual office, the office had a sliding glass window that faced right out to the front area where she sat and where the front door was. I answered the phone and did the data entry and other clerical stuff; she did phones as backup and assisted people when they walked in.
She seemed OK at first, kind of cold and abrupt but still somewhat cordial, although she did complain A LOT about what a horrible place it is to work and how all the guys are assholes.

Well one day about three weeks in, the coworker who I was filling in for came in to talk to the boss. They went in his office and after awhile I could hear her crying and some sort of argument going on. Finally she stormed out, came into my/her office and grabbed her few personal things and, while still crying, wished me luck and that I was going to need it.
Well needless to say, I ended up getting hired on permantly after several months (once I fullfilled my contract with the temp agency so they could get their quota pay). Bitch ended up staying on after all - she did payroll, invoicing, handled new hires and their personal files, benefits/insurance/drug testing setup.

Now once it was established that I was going to end up there permantly, I think that's when things went sour. One day about a month later, Bitch confronted me about me 'throwing her under the bus' one day in particular. She accused me of working against her, of not being on the same page as her. I had no clue what she was talking about. Apparently, my 'throwing her under the bus' was due to an offhand comment I made to my boss one day. He had brought something to my attention that need correction in the computer but I had no idea what he was talking about because it wasn't my work in question. It was no big deal, just a minor flaw that needed correction. I had jokingly said "it wasn't even my mistake; sure blame the newbie!" and we both had a little chuckle. I was just poking fun at myself - like anything that goes wrong in the office just pin the blame on the new person. Well, obviously Bitch had heard (eavsedropped?) our little conversation and she took it personally and blew it out of context.
She really ripped into me and told me that all she had to do was call our main office and talk to the office manager there and tell her that I am not working out and I will be let go. That I am 'just a temp' and don't really have a place with the company.
I told her that if she has such a problem with me, then we should go to our boss and tell him so he can deal with the situation. Right away she said a vehement NO, that I am not to go to him. I said that our boss should know if there is a problem with his employees. She actually said 'Don't you dare go to him". Well I went to him anyways. He said he had no idea of what was going on, that I was doing a fine job and that he is the manager and he has the last say on my employment at that office, and that I am not going anywhere. He said that he would talk to her.

Things calmed down for a short while, but then she would start up again. Always nitpicking and micromanaging. One day (on her off day) me and sales reps (all guys) were talking, and one of them said that he thought she was jealous of me. They all agreed that she was a cold and moody person, and just not pleasant. But they don't have to deal with her on a regular basis since for the most part they are out on the field interacting with customers. Time went by, I would go every so often to our boss and he would commiserate with me, agree that she is a moody bitch, agree that she is harassing me.

Things came to a head one day the end of summer, when she got fed up with tending to customers who walked in (it wasn't a huge flow of people, just a couple here and there during the week). She came storming into my office and said, very rudely "From now on I want YOU to wait on people when they come in. I want YOU to say "Hi, can I help you?" every time someone walks in. I'm too busy to deal with people! It's YOUR job anyways!" So I asked her if it's my job then why wasn't I told that when I first started some 6 months ago? She just said that she didn't care, that it's my job and in my job description. She said that if I won't help customers then she is going to switch work spaces and take my office. I reminded her that she hated my office because she hated the woman who worked there before, even before coworker who went on medical leave.

So I went to my boss again and told him how she treated me and that she wanted my office. I told him that all of a sudden after 6 months she wanted me to assist customers, which I didn't have a problem with, but it was just the way she handled the situation. I told him that I did not want to switch work spaces, that I was happy being in the office and that being out in the open area where she sat would drive me batshit and would be distracting to me. He told me not to worry, we are not moving spaces.

Now by then I was hired on by the company; I had fullfulled the temp agengy's quota. I will mention that my boss was not only thrilled to hire me, but negotiated with the owner to do a buy-out - where they pay off the temp agency the remainder of the the monetary quota so that they can permantely hire me sooner than expected

I put a nice cute little potted plant and a bowl of candy on my sliding window's ledge, something to look nice and welcoming for anyone who walked up. I then noticed that every time a person pulled into the parking lot, Bitch would get up from her desk and run off to go linger somehwere in back. Or if a person walked in, she would either ignore them or get up and leave. I would be on the phone and a customer would come in and stop at her desk (it was right there next to the door) she would ignore the customer or get up and walk away from them. One day she yet again stormed into my office and told me that she was going to move into my office. I went to my boss again, he talked to her and you know what she said? That I was hiding from customers behind my little tiny potted plant. I told him I put the plant there to look attractive and inviting. I also said that she ignores people when they walk in. He suggested I move my plant because she didn't like it there. WTF?

There were other things too. She didn't like my 1-second tiny chime on my cell phone when I got an email. Never mind that everyone's phones were always going off, she had a problem with mine. She attacked me for that, I went to the boss and explained the situation and demonstrated the offending chime tone, he laughed it off and said that she was nuts and that my phone was fine. He talked to her; he came to me and told me to put my phone on vibrate because the chime bothered her.

So that's how it went. She would harass me, I would go to the boss, he would laugh and say she was nuts, he'd talk to her, then we'd have to placate her.

So basially him not setting her ass straight by telling her to leave me the hell alone he was giving her the power to harass me. She ended up taking over my office after all. One day yet again she came storming into my office and said that she is taking over my office, that she has too much work and cannot be bothered with people who walk in. I told her that if she moves into my office, she can make the move while training a new person because I've had it with her crap. I went to my boss right then and there and told him what I thought, and he took the two of us into his office for a talk. She said that she is taking over my office and that's final. I told boss that she ignores customers when they stop at her desk. He told her to just direct them to my window. She said that she shouldn't have to because it's not her job and that she's too busy. I told him that she doesn't greet people at all; that she ignores people and even goes as far as walking away from them. I asked him if that's what he wants representing the company. She said that if she doesn't get my office then she's quitting. I told him I would happily work full time for him if needed. After she stormed out and about an hour later, he had the gall to ask me if I'd switch office space with her! I told him that after all this, after telling me that we are staying put that she is not taking my office, all of a sudden NOW he says I should give in to her? He said that she has more work, more employee-sensitive paperwork/computer work and that she needs the privacy of the office. I was like "since when?" Why suddenly now after all these months?
Well needless to say the bitch got her way and we made the switch.

She still continued to nitpick and harass me, I did my best to take it in stride. I got along with everybody; according to my boss everyone loved me (well except for Bitch who hated everyone).

Well in early January worse came to worse and one morning she verbally attacked me about me working a few extra hours, which were OK'd by our boss because we were in a busy time and I only worked 3 days a week as scheduled. Boss OK'd me to work a couple hours on an off day because I had to renew all the contractor licenses in the all the cities, towns and counties in this area - which I might add I have never done before so I had no idea what I was doing, only that it was a ton of paperwork. Then a couple mornings I arrived and punched in a half hour earlier because of bad snow and I wanted to make sure I got to work on time. Since I was there, Boss let me punch in early.
Anyways, she chastized me like I was an ignorant child. Accused me of working more hours and doing nothing, getting nothing done. Finally I had had it. I blew up at her. Bad. I started out by yelling "Do you have ANY IDEA how FUCKING BUSY I was while you were on vacation?!" (she was off over Christmas week and New Year's, which meant I worked 5 days, which was fine by me). We argued, boss called us out on it and told us to calm down. At the end of the day after Bitch went home, I went to boss and apologized for my blow-up and that I probably shouldn't have handled it in such a manner. He told me that I didn't have to apologize and that he understood. We talked and he told me he understood how I was feeling. After that things just didn't seem the same. There was tension between me and Bitch. I was happy an upbeat as usual. Every morning I did my usual cheerful 'Good morning' to her. I spoke to her in a repectful manner, just like I did with everyone else. She continued to nitpick and harass and micromanage. Basically, she was cold, rude, abrupt and harsh with me. Yet, with everyone else she was sugar-sweet. Chit-chatting with everyone and acting like everyone - including the sales reps who she would always complain to me about - were her best friends, yet flat out ignoring me.

Finally after yet another rude encounter with her, on one of my off days I called our main office and talked with the office manger there (whom I had actually never met) and told her what was going on. She said that our boss needed to sit down with me and her and talk this out and put an end to it (she knew that there were onging problems).
Boss talked to the two of us on a Thursday. Nothing got resolved. Everytime I went to speak Bitch would butt in and talk over me. I had to keep saying "Please let me finish my sentence". But nothing got resolved. I said that all I wanted was for her to treat me like she treats everyone else. That I don't care what personal issues she has with me, when we are punched in to please treat me in a respectful manner. All she did was roll her eyes and accuse me of calling her evil, wicked and screaming at her everytime she interacts with me. NONE of which I did, with the exception of - when she cornered and verbally attacked me about my hours that one morning - I went off on her, which I had admitted and apologized for. And never once did I ever do any namecalling. I know better than that and don't stoop to that level at the workplace.

At the end of the day, I talked one-on-one with my boss, and he sympathized with me and said that he understood that I was being harassed by her and I had reached my breaking point. That a person could only take so much, and that she had given me so much grief in the past that he understood how I felt. We had a nice talk, and as we were walking out of the office he gave me sweet and sympathetic smile and a friendly pat on the back and said "Hang in there OK?"
Then I was off on Friday (Bitch worked). Then on Monday I noticed that Boss was somewhat cold towards me. I thought maybe he was having a bad day but still, I was catching negative vibes from him.
Now I must add here that he and I always had a nice, laid back relationship. We could joke around with each other and there was no offensiveness. We got along well; heck it was like that with me and all the guys. Boss was always sympathetic about me being harassed. He would admit on several occasions that she was rude, and referred to her as a "Jeckyl & Hyde" person.

Anyways so after Monday, I was off on Tuesday, then I came into work on Wednesday (Bitch was off). There was yet another snowstorm and I had arrived about a half hour early (I NEVER called off). Wednesday morning was the day I got let go. My boss said that on Tuesday there was a 'big meeting' with the owner and office manager from the main office, and it was decided that things just won't work out between me and Bitch, so they decided to let me go. I was like, how do you have a big meeting that involves ME, but doesn't include ME, and then let me go? He just said 'it is what it is'. He said that Bitch is the 'Office Coordinator' (ummm since fucking WHEN?) and that he can't have someone not getting along with her. I was like, so I was just supposed to take her bullying and harassing me because of this 'title' that she suddenly has? She's the one who picks on ME and treats ME like crap. I reminded him that she avoids customers and a year ago he was going to let her go because he was sick of her attitude, and he responded with "things change".
It was like he did a total 180. Something happened the day I was off; Bitch did or said something. I think she has something over him and possibly made a threat. I don't know.

I'm sure there's nothing going on between them; he's in his mid-30's and she's in her mid to late 50's; both are married with families. I just flat out don't see it, feel it or sense anything like that with them.

Thanks for reading this far!! I didn't mean to threadjack, but I wanted to give my experience. Also, after a month of being let go I am still very saddened and hurt. I loved my job, boss and the sales reps. We all got along well and I got good compliments. This is still very raw and painful. I've been looking like crazy for a new receptionist/admin job, but I suppose there are thousands of people around here looking for the same thing. I'm really scared right now; I have a car payment and I really don't want DH to have to help me out for the time being. We've got enough money issues right now - the latest of which is owning over $600 in taxes to the government, but that's a rant for another day (fucking damn breeders and their handouts!)

I guess I just don't understand how I ended up in this situation. I was repeatedly harassed by a coworker who was more than likely jealous and insecure. My boss was always sympathetic and understanding but really did nothing to put Bitch in her place (I think he was the type who thought 'maybe if I ignore the problem it will eventually work its way out and go away). How Bitch was able to be rude to customers - my boss even admitted to me that some customers have complained about her rudeness. Everyone in the office admitted that she can be cold, abrasive, harsh and rude. Yet she stays and I'm gone. I'm really heartbroken over this; I feel like I lost my family.

So, yeah, that's my story. :bawl

Diva - sucks that management cowers to the offender, preferring a constant turnaround in employees than getting rid of the troublemaker and developing a stable staff. It just doesn't make sense.

I certainly know of what you speak, having to work with someone like that. The bitch I work with is like a tick: embedded in the workplace, parasitic and of no use to anyone, yet the host is afraid to dislodge it for fear of the pain and mess it will cause. Other folks, watching the situation, wish that the tick would just be ripped and tossed. Things would get better so much quicker.

You know you get good vibes here. Here's hoping you find another job not only to have a job, but so that you can concentrate on something else and put the bitch memories behind you. That kind of stuff can cause PTSD. I had hoped to give up the sleeping pills I took to be able to work third shift now that I'm on first, but after a stressful day dealing with my office c* I have to take a hot-hot shower, eat comfort food and dope myself to sleep. I'm outa there as soon as I get Dh to the age where he qualifies for Medicare (next year).

DivaLasVegas,

Yikes! I read your entire story and was horrified. I am sorry that you went through this. There's nothing like whiny ass bitches in the workplace! .

``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
"I have found little that is 'good' about human beings on the whole. In my experience most of them are trash, no matter whether they publicly subscribe to this or that ethical doctrine or to none at all."
~Sigmund Freud

We are not alone

Quote

Q. Co-Worker Problems: Lately at work, I have been bothered by a co-worker who seems to spend most of her time trying to gossip and get people in trouble. She recently asked me about my computer usage at work and while I denied anything wrong, the day after this conversation, a meeting was scheduled between me and my supervisors over computer usage. I found this humiliating and even had the company IT person check my computer to prove that I do spend my time working. This woman leaves early, takes longer breaks, and brags about not doing her job, yet constantly is “telling” on co-workers for things that aren’t even an issue. I want to tell her to knock it off yet I’m afraid she will do something to threaten my job. I feel like this is high school but it is making the work environment no longer enjoyable. Is there anything I could say to my HR department?

A: I wish someone who understands corporate life would explain to me why, given our high unemployment, every place of work seems to have a toxic incompetent who never gets fired. Since this woman apparently was the cause of your little “review,” I think you need to push back. Perhaps you can find someone else who she made up accusations against, and you two can go to a mutual supervisor and express your concern about her behavior and its effect on morale. Do not be defensive, do not get ad hominem, just explain that this co-worker seems to enjoy threatening other people and making false reports, and it’s disturbing everyone in the workplace.