Catchall "I Hate the Hellidays" thread

Simple errands aren't possible--everything is crowded and traffic sucks. I can't wait until January when people go back into their houses and life is normal again.

And I'm happy my in-laws are thinking of us, but I've often gently suggested that we don't need a thing and it's enough of a present to see them. We really don't need the most fugly casserole dishes on Earth. (Last year's present.)

This year's present is a box of cheese and sausage. A casual observer would know I eat neither.

(Obligatory note: I always thank them properly, etc.)

Thank doG for hotels and that I had a backbone when I insisted it's either a hotel or I'm not going. It's insanity to cram 20 people in a 1,600 sq foot house with two bathrooms. This is not how grown people live. Grown people also don't invade other people's space. I don't see how my MIL stands it.

Share your rant here.

Spent the last 10 days or so sick, caught the cold/something Takeo brought home from his West coast jaunt last month. Went to the pharmacy to buy cough medications since we're all out. Place was packed with screeching brats and breeders arguing with the cashier (holiday rush and the store only had 1 cashier scheduled) about discounts. The line for the cashier can only be described as Soviet. If I didn't need to breathe I would've left.

Now the holiday cards are showing up, the ones from Takeo's idiot breeder friends are addressed to Takeo and Hana Smith, I guess this is a step up from Mr. and Mrs. Takeo Smith. Yet my friends who are childless, Child Free, or empty nesters send cards addressed to Hana Johnson and Takeo Smith. Many even asked if Takeo's last name is Smith since they weren't sure if Takeo used a pseudonym for his book reviews.

I asked Takeo to remind his friends to get my name right, he said he did but breeders being breeders they probably don't care. If they need any help they can ask Hana Smith because the only finger Hana Johnson is lifting for them is the middle one. :yeah

Bright side of cutting off breeders with shared DNA is I'll spend Christmas day either watching bowl games or Chinese food and a movie with friends. Maybe both.

Hoping next year I can hermit from Election Day to Martin Luther King Day.

Got a card from a cousin a couple days ago, addressed to Mr. and Mrs. HisFirstName HisLastName. I did not take my husband's last name when we married. I don't go by Mrs. But don't get too bent out of shape about either one if someone makes a mistake at first. I realize I'm doing something different from the norm. Most people that get to know me, bother to remember. And I'm good at correcting people in a way that's clear, polite, and laid-back.

BUT...I have been married for 11 years. Cousin's been sending holiday cards for the past three or four, and every time no fragment of my name is to be found anywhere on that envelope. A couple times in the past I've sent a card back, making sure we both signed it with our first and last names, and wrote both full names on the return address. No change, which means the cousin didn't even notice or remember.

Honestly, I thought addressing correspondence to "Mr. & Mrs. HisFirstName HisLastName" was now considered dated, except maybe for really formal wedding invitation and the like, and even on those there's some wiggle room for how names are done.

If it were a much older relative I'd write it off as "Oh, she grew up in a different era". But this cousin's only in her early/mid 30s. So strange. And kind of off-putting.

I want a Bumble!

There were only 3 small ones left at the Jewel I was just at. Walgreens had some too.

I hope there will be some left for the Clearance Sales!

I WANT IT!

Bell - I kind of LIKE those dishes!
Do you still have them? You know what they'd be good for - under plants / pots to catch water.

So far I have not had too much "Holiday Stress". I've got avoidance of it all down to a science. Being single plus having relatives who don't really do much helps immensely.

It's different now that mom is gone.

Tony and I are leaving for Rome on Tuesday and we won't be back for two weeks. We will be with some of Tony's family--and they are all adults without children. I am looking forward to a very relaxing holiday for a change. I hate Giftmas and the merchandising mess it has become.

Oh, the crowds. I am so with you on the crowds. I was meeting my Dad last night at the Hardee's across from my work, and it took me no less than ten minutes just to get out of the parking lot. Cars were just pouring in and out like ants that just had their hill disturbed. People are also so freaking rude. Stupid advertisements everywhere, stupid sales that make people lose their minds.

I really do love Christmas, just not the repercussions of it.

I'm kind of meh on the hellidaze...but damn, it brings out the worst in breeders and their fucking vagina gollums. Unfortunately, I have to deal with these morons at work. OTOH, no happee famblee :BS for this gal! :jump

_________________________________________________________

Why live in a fishbowl, when you could be swimming in the ocean?

"She, and all other rabid breeders, are like crabs in a bucket headed to Red Lobster. When they see a smarter crab escaping, they try to pull it back in." - Miss Hannigan

"Yeah, that's what family is about - guilt tripping people into cleaning up someone else's mess." - mrs. chinaski

(Shameless blog promotion: http://popcornculturejunkie.wordpress.com/)

(Cornucopia of visual rantage: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCD78oSD27mzAlVzsB0q2ibA)

Just suffered through the obligatory fambly gathering again. Surprsingly, the food was a notch better than usual, but just a bit. See the older generations have a "tradition" of eating fishsticks. And not the large fillets by Gordon's or whoever, the two inch long flat strip fishsticks that are almost entirely breading.
This year it was an exceptionally caramelized ham. Not bad, knowing my family.
Still we were kicking ourselves the whole drive down that we left the house without back up food.
I only go to see my grandpa. I should really try to get in some visits outside once a year for the hellidays because health issues, doctors predictions, and all that say he doesn't have many left. He's doing great for 84 though!
Glad to have gotten that over with...

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Shiny
Oh, the crowds. I am so with you on the crowds. I was meeting my Dad last night at the Hardee's across from my work,

Total tangent. Sorry :redface

The Hardee's in our town got a score of 84 on their health inspection. How does a place stay open with numbers like that? We walked in, saw the overflowing trash cans and dirty tables. I happened to see the inspection notice by the counter, pinched Dh's sleeve and pointed it out. We looked at one another, silently shook our heads, and walked out.

Message I just received from younger sister on FB

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Once you guys are fully launched into the RV you can spend Holidays with us. Huge dinner and holiday movies with dogs and cats and kids running around. My pups could always use extra scritches

Ha ha ha. NO d

Why do breeder relatives always assume their CF relatives want to spend time with their hellspawn?

I hate "holiday cards" that are nothing but a famblee photo or worse, a pic of their frightening looking children. They always go in the trash. Another thing I hate is those inane "family newsletters" people seem to like sending out around this time of year. I think they are the most narcissistic and obnoxious things ever. To me it always reads like, "Dear Famblee, happy whatever, LOOK AT US, OMG LOOK AT WHAT WE ARE DOING! WE ARE SO AWESOME!!"

I have mixed feelings about the hellidays. On one hand it's an opportunity to spend some time with the very few decent relatives I actually like and have a little bit of built-in time off at work. On the other hand, I'm an atheist and I get so tired of seeing all this "Jeebus is the reezon for the seezin" bullshit around and "oppressed" x-tians thinking that people saying "happy hellidays" is a personal affront to their religion.

I like the pretty decorations (which as we all know aren't x-tian anyway), but the depressing reality is that the rest of the winter will be cold, gray, and bleak. It's a few months of not being able to ride my bike, not being able to have fun outdoors, getting cabin fever, etc. I just get bored with it so quick.

It also reminds me that while I love some of my older relatives and feel a bond with them, they will be gone one day and all that will be left are their asshole kyds (my cousins) whom are all arrogant breeders who are all about conformist culture, religion, consumerism, and status-symbols. I have nothing in common with any of them and so I will eventually be without a family. I will stop going to family things once all the older relatives have passed on. I hope there will be many more years with them, but I am realistic enough to know that nobody lives forever.

I know I can make my own family comprised of friends, and family doesn't have to be blood. I'm just enough of an introvert that reaching out to new people is exceedingly difficult for me, but perhaps I can try to overcome that to an extent and cultivate some meaningful friendships in the future. I would like to. I have close friends, but many people have moved around and it's hard to maintain those ties as closely as before. And of course the obligatory friends breeding thing is happening, and people change forever once they sluice. It's hard to find CF people in my area. I have my husband but I don't want to rely on him as my sole source of companionship. So it's kind of a thing I think about more this time of year than ever, for some reason, and it's a bit daunting and depressing.

6abc.com/family/unmarried-woman-gets-revenge-on-parents-with-hilariously-dark-christmas-cards/441347/

Consequently I liked this woman's answer to those twee famblee photo x-mas cards (her parents are mean).

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cosmictraveler
6abc.com/family/unmarried-woman-gets-revenge-on-parents-with-hilariously-dark-christmas-cards/441347/

Consequently I liked this woman's answer to those twee famblee photo x-mas cards (her parents are mean).

Love those cards larious

Back when Dh and I were inundated with Xmas cards that featured nothing but innumerable nieces and nephews, we retaliated with pictures of our pets done up in twee holiday wear. The few years we had llamas, I took pictures of them, photoshopped stocking caps and scarves, and added the salutation "Happy Spitmas" (owing to their habit of lobbing green, gloppy loogies at people they didn't like.) I think that one was the final straw. Mother-in-law scolded that we weren't realizing the "reason for the season," which was apparently Family, and the cards from in-laws and siblings trickled to nothing. Fine for me, I was tired of spending the postage only to receive packaged cards with pictures of brats in return. At least I (like Bridget) was trying to do something original.

Oh goodness. This must be a fun relative to visit

I'm having a 3 day New Year's bash, come one come all! Oh, and while you're here, you'll be expected to feed the chickens, do my laundry, look after my kids, go grocery shopping .....

Reading toward the end, the author of the post notes "SIL2 (hostess to the party) has never lifted a finger to help outside of her home."

I'm glad it's a slow day at work. Some of the best message board drama comes from the holidays. eyes2

Can't wait to see how X-mess shapes up this year. My mother's cancer-tard has been making us all miserable, especially this week. Pretty much screaming the second he got back here about how worthless I am, how I'm a 400-pound pain in the ass, how everyone I know is worthless, how I'm horrible and lazy for not writing his bullshit letters for him that he demanded I write last month... just bitching and arguing about every single fucking thing. If it's not me, it's Mom, the dogs, his family, his friends, everything.

I hate booze, but I had a few shots of vodka last night to try and calm down. I didn't even know what to mix it with, so I drank it with bottled water and lemon juice because I wanted the effect, not the taste. Shows what I know about drinking.

He left to go who knows where today and Mom figures he'll sit in his apartment and pout tomorrow like a child so he can tell everyone he was alone on Christmas. And if he does come back, he'll refuse to open his presents, say he doesn't want any of them, etc. I don't care how much fuckin' cancer he has, it's not an excuse to treat everyone like shit. So yeah, gearing up for a shitty X-mas with his sick ass around.

Also, for no one in this house wanting anything for Christmas, there are FOUR garbage bags full of gifts in the basement. I overheard my mother telling someone that she got me a bunch of interview clothes. Why, I don't know. I guarantee none will fit me, and besides that, I HAVE plenty of work clothes already. I have a bunch of dressy jackets and work slacks that might just require a simple top underneath for a complete outfit. Plus, my dresser and closet are already bursting.

Wow Cambion, that sucks.

I wish I had some advice for you. I will meditate on this.

Go look at my Bumble pic - it will make you feel better.

My 'Holidays' are essentially over, we didn't do anything at work (did send out some small gifts and got sim in return), my relatives don't do much and those closest are going through a divorce, so there just really 'wasn't anything'.

Today I went out to eat with my Mom at this place:

http://www.longhornsteakhouse.com/home

It's 'chain' 'bar food' IMO. Hey - not my idea - Other Relatives give her gift cards. It wasn't bad though. I mention this too because 'health' - some people can and do listen - Mom is not supposed to have shell fish, she gets Gout, ergo - NO MORE Red Lobster gift cards!

No one yelled or made a big production - they switched gift cards. Show this to Cancer Tard as a PSA on how to behave in a Civilized Manner.

I'm the one who suggested lunch because I looked online and the prices were better. Not that I'm cheap but I know what kind of food these places have and even though I'm not the worlds greatest cook - IMO I can cook a better steak or fish at home. Ooooo! I need to buy MYSELF some more Holiday Gifts such as a Hibachi!

And also because - OK she got the gift card and saw that there was 'a new one' 'by me'. So she wants to come here and go to that one. I could guess what it would be like for dinner. PACKED. At 2p today - that entire area (all shopping and restaurants) - was PACKED. JAM PACKED. We got right in there but soon after - more people started piling in. Yeah - why not stop and eat? Or - take the Out Of Town Relatives instead of N days of cooking? I saw plenty of out of state plates as well as people walking in while we were walking out who were commenting on the shopping and pointing at things. Outta Towners.

TONS of people come here *just to* shop.

GAH. You gotta watch all this. And I made the right call - I knew it would be less crowded and stressful and it WAS! We avoided un necessary spending and eating too much too

I should be a Life Coach!

For gifts I got -
Several cans of nuts, candies - Godiva and Frango included, pretty good haul in that dept. , 2 green candles, a green sweater - lots of green, '15 shall be the year of Green maybe? We're having a Green XMess too, my new shoes which are a present to myself - and which I am happy with / shall utilize for walking and getting back into exercise, I am thankful for our mild weather too and have already gotten started on that, some money from my Aunt, and - my one friend got me a Bumble! YAY! She saw me looking at it and then went back to the store and got it. It was the last one. YAY! I think I will put him in my car.

It's just a few little things here and there, small gifts and low key things, and I'm very glad of it.

People can tone it down if they want to. For 'us' - we had 'bigger things' when we were kids or when my age group had kids. Those kids are now older, loads of toys no longer necessary.

One of my ideas, I'm sure others think / do same - for people you care about - why not buy a gift or take them out to eat - anytime? 'Just Because' as well as to say 'thank you' for other help they may have given, or to help them out at a time when they had problems? ANY DAY is a good day! Why not?

You can, and many people do, shift their thinking on these things and come up with alternative plans and activities.

I think people who get overly bent on "Holidays" must have bottled up emotions over "Hallmark Moments".

Hang in there, everyone!

Cambion - you will figure something out. You will. And consider this - in the future when you're faced with sim issues and people - it's going to be NOTHING! It will be EASY for you then - because of these experiences. In the future, if I can get more things to rent out, I would rent you something at a good price. That would be 'here' though, you'd have to move. You probably *should move* regardless. Investigate "The Junk Scene" - you do have options. From what I can see of your area it looks like the RE 'paperwork' is like ours so maybe some day I will get some things there, too. It would be junk though because the nicer stuff is expensive too. So - you could just get your own junk. Ha. But no, seriously - you can. You have options, no worries

Look at some places you haven't thought of, also (includes near areas to you that you might not have considered or are not overly familiar with. Or far places ~)

You have plenty of options, don't worry

Hey - aren't there alot of abandoned insane asylums in your area? Those might be for sale, and there are 'gov programs' to lend you money (look at the SBA site, and your local gov sites) - alot of this is a matter of 'paperwork' and if you fill out the right things you might be able to get some weird thing like this - for nothing. I have also often thought that a clever person could run an entire pyramid scheme off of various gov programs. Apply to one to feed another and so on. CRIME is another Career Field you may wish to consider ~

As is Meat Space - so is Cyber Space at this season of Wonder and JOY!

If anyone needs a date / is feeling lonely - here ya GO -

http://chicago.craigslist.org/wcl/stp/4818318277.html

From the locale and subject matter - this guy is either an Elderly Mexican or a Serial Killer.

Sounds like a Fun Guy, tho!

I hate the sheeple herds. I was a super special little snowflake who got Thanksshitting off, so I learned from other co-workers that the parking lot on the night of Thanksshitting were so packed that sheeple had to park in between spots! larious The flyer had nothing but junk in it unless you are a breeder.

I remember talking to a OCC volunteer, they only collected 900 shoeboxes from the whole area, which includes many cities. It made me sad that Be a Santa to A Senior was not participating this year in my area. :bawl I'm thinking because of low participation rates of donors. I remember the last couple times that I brought in my gifts to the participating store that the same old labels were still on the tree. That made me ticked off. I wanted to do a couple more, but that was my mania talking. I normally spend about $20-$30.

The store that I work at participates in the Angel Tree. I would see that tree near bare, and gifts that the customers would bring in. Some of it was cheap shit and others were not. One donor just bought a football and that's all. I'm kinda mixed about the angel tree because I know some deserving people i.e coworkers, but there are your career wic-welfare whore breeders who are always on the tree year after year. My ex-bff was on the angel tree now her three brats are on it year after year just like she was.

They love Jesus so much, but yet they don't follow in His foot steps. I'm pretty sure that He would hate this materialistic bullshit going on during His supposed birthday. It's unbelievable what kind of junk that people buy and tons of it too. I like gifts if they are practical and thoughtful, but not if they are expensive, over the top, or just plan junk. I hate all of the waste that goes with the helliday. Do you really need those Christmas bows? Wrapping paper might be pretty, but a big waste. I never used wrapping paper this year. My new goal is to be wrapping paper free.

I got a hundred dollars from my parents which I will be using to pay on my new credit card which I opened for credit off of two purchases.

I can't wait until March because of my big fat quarterly bonus from the hellidays. Thank you sheeple!

Mom decided to get me a shitload of clothing, and she was pissing and moaning that half of them either didn't fit or I didn't like them. All I heard about is how I need a job and I need job clothes, job job job. I know I need a job, but I'm very picky about what I wear. I kept all the pants she got me and like two tops, but the rest were either too short, had 3/4 sleeves (which I hate - they make my arms look short and my wrists look fat), or were too tight. She got me a velour zip-up jacket and said it was for work. Not only was it too big, but no one wears velour to an interview.

Then she bitched about me not liking the Punisher or the Grinch because she got me a Punisher shirt and Grinch pajama pants. I have never once in my life said anything about the fucking Grinch and I'm not enough of a Punisher fan to wear a shirt with the logo on it. I said if we could return the shit I don't want, I'd be glad to get work clothes I actually like. She still bitched. Well, I could have kept everything and donated the undesirables.

I can't help what I like, which is why I prefer doing my own clothes shopping. I don't like typical women's clothes. I like leggings, hip-hugging pants, and long, loose-fitting tops. And I believe it's very possible to find both kinds of clothes in leisure wear as well as professional attire. I don't like the average female shirt that ends right at the waist. I like something that covers my tank ass, because otherwise, I ruin the shirt by constantly pulling the ends of it down. But hey, who cares if I'm not comfortable or look awful, just as long as Mom's happy.

I had a decent time at DH's, but I'm always glad when the Hellidaze are over.

And my gawd, I just need to preach on how DISGUSTING DH's family is around food. I thank Todd I have food sensitivities so I can eat separate food. Even when I didn't know I had them I brought my own food. Here are the things I've witnessed:

No concept of how to behave around community food:

--not using serving spoons. Everyone takes his/her fork or spoon, WHICH THEY'VE BEEN USING TO EAT, and sticks them into community food. I put serving spoons on stuff, only to have my FIL bypass them and stick his own utentils into the food.
--The butter tins are nasty with fork marks and crumbs in them. (Insert barf icon here.)
--There are always bags of chips all around. Do they ever dump the chips into a bowl? No, everyone sticks his/her hands in the bag to retrieve the food. These are not people who wash their hands either. My FIL is the chief food preparer, and I've never observed him washing his hands, nor does he wash the outside of anything he prepares. Once he observed me washing the outside of a melon and he told me I didn't need to do that.

They do not make one single effort to accommodate my diet. None. Ever. And truly, I do not expect that but if I had a guest I would make some kind of effort. They have been known to make comments and fun about what I eat, and my MIL will say stuff like, "there's all kinds of cookies and cakes, help yourself." But that's fine and that's their choice.

What does get my goat is despite making comments about what I eat, THEY CAN'T SEEM TO KEEP THEIR HANDS OFF WHAT I EAT, often without asking. My FIL wanted to eat some GF cookies someone made for me and I obliged but said, pointedly, "you probably won't like these because they are GF." There are literally 10 tins of cookies around, and he knows my small stash of cookies is gluten-free and he wants to eat them?

One of the kids also asked if she could eat some of my salad. At least she asked and of course I said yes, but then I turn around and see that she's EATING OUT OF THE MAIN CONTAINER. Do I really need to tell a person who is in her mid-20's: "You're welcome to try my salad but could you please get a separate plate?" APPARENTLY I DO.

Of course this all happened on a holiday so I had a choice: eat the salad someone ate off of, or eat nothing since the stores are closed. I opted to eat nothing. It bears mentioning that even when I am the only person who eats something I use serving spoons for my food. I don't want to eat my own spit--why should I eat someone else's? The kid took a couple of bites from my salad and didn't eat any more of it. I threw it out the next day. Wasting food gripes my ass too. I've seen this particular person drink directly from a milk carton too.

JEEBUS, WHO RAISED THESE PEOPLE? They are like damn wolves around food.

Gaaaah. Bellflower, I almost yakked my breakfast, reading that

Makes me think: WTF happened to "company manners?" If you want to fall on your food like a flock of buzzards at home, fine, but when you go visiting, or have company for dinner, you display finer airs.

People are becoming more gross with each generation. I'll be sort of glad when I'm 10 years older and in my 60s. I can start smacking or verbally lashing out at the younger people and be able to get away with it because I'm a "crazy old lady." Not that anything I say will change them, but at least I'll be able to freely express my disgust.

They act just as bad at my house. When my in laws came to visit, and we were sitting down to dinner, I realized I forgot something and popped up to go in the kitchen. I said, please don't wait on me and start. No need to tell them; they hadn't waited.

So glad I went to work today--all this togetherness time was getting on my nerves something awful.

edited to remove petty ranting.

Bell Flower, is this get together taking place in the South? I don't mean to sound stuck up, but I have found that down south, for example in Virginia, where we had a family reunion in Roanoke, people don't seem to care about food safety as much as they do in the north. There was all kinds of raw food around cooked food, not cooking enough, not keeping food cold, and yes, people just "dig in" and use any spoon they can.

Our holiday at my mothers was bad but I didn't stay long, I even had to go over to a neighbors because Jupy the smelly, loud doctor BIL was as smelly and loud as ever with the coughing, throat clearing, yelling and it never stops. I cannot prove it, but I think he spreads germs.

Yes, this is in the Deep South. I don't know what the deal is. I'm a southerner, and I don't act like that. Maybe it's because everyone is "family?" Just because I'm related to someone, it doesn't mean I want to eat their spit.

I realize I sound "stuck up" too, but I was raised that certain things are just gauche, like using toothpicks, clipping your nails around others, and licking your fingers. There's a reason it's called "personal grooming." I don't want to see it. Go to the bathroom to use floss and take care of that other shit in private.

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the smelly, loud doctor BIL was as smelly and loud as ever with the coughing, throat clearing, yelling and it never stops.

Jeebus, you've just reminded me of one of my all time pet peeves. I'm off to the "hate" thread for that one.

It's gratifying to hear you guys feel the same way about these things.

Well, I'm happier to report that I'm in a much better humor this week. DH went to work yesterday and I had the day to myself with no TV to interrupt my serenity. Over the weekend I got all the Christmas crap unpacked and put away.

I need quiet time to keep my sanity intact. It doesn't work well with the motherfucking TV on all the time. Thankfully my office is detached from the den and it has two doors so I can get away from the noise. If we ever move from here, I need a layout like this.

All in all the fambillee visit went well, THANK YOU HILTON CORPORATION. I had time to myself, which included shopping, exercising and spending time with friends, and family time when I wanted it. I'm also happy to say some of the other in-laws defected to the hotel, which makes me gleeful. I like my husband's brother's wife a lot and she and I were texting. When they were telling my MIL their hotel plans, my FIL was bellowing in the background, "they don't need to do that!" and my MIL shut him down and told him to mind his own business. My MIL always said how she liked it when people stayed with them, but maybe she's getting tired of it too. (Why wouldn't she?)

My SIL told me on the way home that staying in the hotel was the only way to go.

I'm glad I started this positive trend. :satan