My Dad is on Ashley Madison

My coworkers and I discovered one of the online tools that enables you to check if a specific person has been compromised by the Ashley Madison data leak. You type in an email address and it tells you if that email address has turned up in the data leak.

Well, I typed in my dad's email address and it has been compromised by the data leak. This means that his email address either shows up on Ashley Madison or Adult Friend Finder. This is not really a surprise to me, my dad has had problems with drugs, alcohol, and women pretty much my entire life (Imagine Leonardo DiCaprio's character in Wolf of Wall Street - that's my dad). He told me the last time I visited my parents, who are still married, that he and my mother have not had sex in at least 30 years.

TMI, to say the least. My mom had an affair when I was about two years old as well. I'm 41 and they are 69, so all of this is old news and now my mom's physical health is declining and my dad's mental health is declining.

I would never tell my mother what I have discovered, and frankly, am not even sure if they don't have an open relationship. I don't even personally think that monogamy is realistic, but could this exposure hurt my dad in any other way, like financially or anything? I'm wondering if I should tell my dad... My inclination is just to stay the hell out of it and forget it ever happened. Is this the right thing to do?

There are random email generators if you want to drop him an anonymous that's he's on the available list.
Should you? I dunno...

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starbelly
...could this exposure hurt my dad in any other way, like financially or anything? I'm wondering if I should tell my dad... My inclination is just to stay the hell out of it and forget it ever happened. Is this the right thing to do?

Is this an e-mail addy associated with a business? Do other people know the e-mail?

I would suppose if this is just a home e-mail and your father is not a public official or associated with people who might plug it in out of curiosity and then be able to blackmail him, it shouldn't be a worry and can be ignored. Or, as Presto suggested, set up a burner Yahoo account and let him know anonymously. I'm betting that this is going to be a hay day for spammers who'll harvest the e-mail lists and use them as ploys "We'll Scrub Your Name From the AM List. Send $29.95 to ...."

If you decide to spook e-mail your dad, see if there are instructions for him to delete his e-mail account (Yahoo allows that) and send him the link.

I wouldn't go with in 1000 miles of this. No good will come of it. If your parents aren't having sex no disease is being spread. In fact, your parents may have an open marriage.
Regardless, their business and not yours.
The only thing I might do is mention how easy it is for people to find their lives ruined because of online stuff with AM as an example then drop it.
In the future, I wouldn't go digging for info like that unless it had to do with your own SO. It may be fun, but it is no fun ask a question and get the answer you didn't want but can't forget.

Why would he not know he is part of that? It is all over the news about the site being compromised and people being exposed.

The whole thing is sad. It's sad that the site exists, that so many people were using it and now for it to be public like this. Just a low point in our times.

I can't feel bad for anyone caught in this and would not get involved.

Wow. Sad.

The other day I thought to myself that I was glad that I had all faith in Humanity ground out of me at a young age.

My "father" is a (hard core) alcoholic and junkie (hard drugs / H).

On the other side of the coin -

I have met some good people - I wast just musing about this guy who comes to fix my house. Local Construction Co. and he is The Boss. He seems like a nice man. And *of course* I look up all I do biz with, neighbor recommends not with standing, and I do listen to their 'gossip' about people too.

Mr. Boss Man seems like a nice person. Very professional. He's also about one step away from propositioning me. Vague sex comments have already been made, along the lines of 'jokes' - he's testing the waters.

And I'm not some Dumb Kid. I know better.

Is there anyone sincere?

My Wife don't want anything to do with me ~ That'll be the next thing he says to me, I'l bet USD 50K on it.

I've heard it all before. Nth times.

And what's in it for me? NOTHING. It's all about YOU Old Boring Duh - You WANT and want and want. And all should accommodate you.

Not me.

I have a very jaded opinion of people.

And it makes me wonder - should you wait around for someone sincere - or play the game too?
Or opt out completely? My latest tack - I have to be focused on my work, regardless.

Try to stay focused on yourself, and hope there are -some - good people out there ~

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Zzelda
and he is The Boss.

Bruce Springsteen?

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Medusa

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Zzelda
and he is The Boss.

Bruce Springsteen?

Ha, no.

And I was going to say ewww also. Which reminds me that - I am kind of a snob. But, I could qualify that also - it's not all about looks, appearance and money. But then again - for me - a large part of it is.. But I do not like the 'The Typical' Fake Corporate Ass Kisser Types.I do not involve myself with any type of shifty people either. I do admire the 'self made' and successful entrepreneurs a great deal.

And this guy is very good looking. Makes Bruce S. look like a skid row bum in comparison. Very good looking. Maybe sim to what Michael Douglas looks like now, as an older man.

Looks and money aside, he is very 'professional' and polite (mostly) and has a crew of people to do grunt work -
So why does he show up to do any grunt work for me himself?

My neighbor recommended this guy. He does excellent work. At first - it was his employees. Now - only he shows up. I never thought to ask about any - I guess various biz licenses and / or the contractors things ~
Which was stupid of me and I should know better.

All the paperwork looked legit.

One day - I thought I would look up online more about this. And I did find personal info about him, via his kids on FB - but biz wise - nothing.

I can research some RE stuff too - and I did notice that various stuff he's connected to - are in other peoples' names ~

Who is this guy?

Is he a shifty operator?

I also heard gossip about some other past (biz) things he was involved in and ~
Hmm ~

And the various 'comments' he has made to me, which can be taken several ways. No, I don't plan on fooling around with any married men. Who may be of questionable character. In this case - all else aside - I began to think of it due to insurance. You have to watch all that.

I did not think this carefully through at first. I moved here, various 'issues' right out of the gate. The roof leaks. So does the basement. It's a Construction Biz's gold mine! I came from this place that apx. 1/3 of the roof got blown off in a bad storm. And I was sick. (Seriously, deathly ill.)

I was offered this from a work colleague, a white elephant 'investment' he could not do anything with. I had to take it. I knew it was falling apart too, which it continued on doing ~

And The Friendly Neighbor brings over the Friendly Smiling Man. Who is gorgeous and rugged looking and dressed in 'work clothes' that might be better suited for an LL Bean catalog pic.

And he will fix everything. And he calls you Honey and Sweetheart. And he seems mostly like a "Kindly Older Man". And maybe the type of Dad you wished you had had ~

But who is he, really?

Is he a shifty operator? You do have to watch ALL PEOPLE you get involved with in any way. The money, again. I do not need to lose any money nor get hit with any lawsuits.

He seems to have taken a bit too much interest in me too ~

Or, maybe he's just a nice person. He is a very hard worker, and his crew, and has a successful biz. Which for some reason there is zero info about online ~

?

No, I'm not overly paranoid. But such is why I tend to keep people at arm's length ~