more fundie dribbel: good girls aren't supposed to like nasty filthy dirty sex!

Because then if your dream mayunnn comes along and sees you've hooked up he won't wanna marry or have baybeeeez with you.

http://diamonddiploma.com/a-letter-to-girls-hooking-up/



To all the fundie males who have some fucked up Madonna whore complex thing going on yet don't hold yourselves to the same standards, here's a resounding FUCK YOU!!!!! My dream mayunnnn won't mind one bit that I had a life before him, and he certainly won't be pee brained enough to think I cannot possibly be a good wife just cuz I dare to like sex. If a man has this disorder (yes I call it that,) its his job to take care of it, not women's to cater to it.


Sincerely,

Unapologetically sexual lady who makes a fiercely loyal partner (when in a relationship) and whos never a bore in the sack!

The way I see it, being sexually active is a good way of weeding out the kind of guys I wouldn't want to be with anyway.

Ugh, this is the fundie shit I grew up with. My brother's sexuality was acknowledged as something to be repressed, but since I was a girl, sex was something I got tricked into because nice girls don't have a libido.

This shit ends up with "good" boys only choosing "good" girls and, since the "good" girls know that sex is dirty and bad, they bring that to the marital bed, so the "good" boys they married are unsatisfied and turn to hookers or porn, so you get the sex addiction crisis in the fundamentalist churches that you see now, to the point that they have made multiple Christian films about it. It doesn't occur to them that their teachings are the source of all the sexual dysfunction.

This is only a validation for Frigid Myrtles that they do everything right in their lives.

Most Duhs get married because they think that marriage = a guaranteed access to pussy.

I just love how the likes of this person portray men as mindless animals who treat women like meat if they can get away with it, but then say we should marry one of these men and stay with him for the rest of our lives. Yeah, that sounds exactly like a person I'd like to spend my life with.*

Also, while I've never had casual sex myself, if you're a guy who sees girls having casual sex as "whores", I'll avoid you like the plague. Dream man my arse.



*Just for the record, this is not my actual opinion on men.

I don't have low self-esteem. That's a mistake. I have low esteem for everyone else.
-Daria

I do know this, my dream man wouldn't molest his sisters (josh duggar I'm talking to you).

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Men pretend that all they want is to get into a girl’s pants, but deep down, most want more. They want to find the woman who is confident enough to stand her ground and say “no.”

I think you'll find most men certainly don't want that...

What is all this "self-respect" crap about anyway? What does that even mean? I hate this weird idea that any man who has sex does it because it's fun and he enjoys it, while any woman who has sex must be mentally ill, have low self-esteem, have "no self-respect" or be damaged somehow, because sex is always horrible for women and none of us are capable of enjoying it. Are these fundies convinced this god of theirs created everything but the clitoris?

If a man has romantic interest in a woman, he will pursue her no matter what. If he has no romantic interest, he may still fuck you but holding out won't make him suddenly romantically interested (not saying a woman has to say yes if she doesn't want to though).



But yeah my dream mayun is totally a sexually repressed mysoginistic fundie that takes advantage of women "cuz they said yes" who expects me to be virginal while "sows his wild oats" before meeting me (whom will probably cheat on me when married cuz u aren't supposed to fuck your virginal wife unless baybey making), fuck that noise!

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ladybug2203
If a man has romantic interest in a woman, he will pursue her no matter what. If he has no romantic interest, he may still fuck you but holding out won't make him suddenly romantically interested (not saying a woman has to say yes if she doesn't want to though).



But yeah my dream mayun is totally a sexually repressed mysoginistic fundie that takes advantage of women "cuz they said yes" who expects me to be virginal while "sows his wild oats" before meeting me (whom will probably cheat on me when married cuz u aren't supposed to fuck your virginal wife unless baybey making), fuck that noise!

Both men and women have every right to love, date, and engage in sexual contact with whomever they want, for whatever reasons they want, and under any circumstances that they want. Consequently, both men and women may discriminate against and reject love, dating, and sex from anyone they want, and for any reason.

This means that if a man doesn't want a woman who has slept around, that's fine. If a woman wants a man who has slept around, that's fine too. And vice versa.

No one is owed sex, no one is owed respect for their sexual history. Men can reject you for your sexual history. They have every right to. You have the right to reject them, as well. You can reject them for their sexual history. You can reject them for their religious beliefs. You can reject them for their job (or lack thereof), their attractiveness... or any other reason that you desire.

Love, dating, and sex, is and should be, a completely open and free marketplace based on mutual consent.

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StudioFiftyFour

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ladybug2203
If a man has romantic interest in a woman, he will pursue her no matter what. If he has no romantic interest, he may still fuck you but holding out won't make him suddenly romantically interested (not saying a woman has to say yes if she doesn't want to though).



But yeah my dream mayun is totally a sexually repressed mysoginistic fundie that takes advantage of women "cuz they said yes" who expects me to be virginal while "sows his wild oats" before meeting me (whom will probably cheat on me when married cuz u aren't supposed to fuck your virginal wife unless baybey making), fuck that noise!

Both men and women have every right to love, date, and engage in sexual contact with whomever they want, for whatever reasons they want, and under any circumstances that they want. Consequently, both men and women may discriminate against and reject love, dating, and sex from anyone they want, and for any reason.

This means that if a man doesn't want a woman who has slept around, that's fine. If a woman wants a man who has slept around, that's fine too. And vice versa.

No one is owed sex, no one is owed respect for their sexual history. Men can reject you for your sexual history. They have every right to. You have the right to reject them, as well. You can reject them for their sexual history. You can reject them for their religious beliefs. You can reject them for their job (or lack thereof), their attractiveness... or any other reason that you desire.

Love, dating, and sex, is and should be, a completely open and free marketplace based on mutual consent.

I never said nor meant that they couldn't, I just think its hypocritical to fuck like a rabbit cuz "I'm a man" then expect a virginal wife, I just think they should practice what they preach. I do not believe that anyone "owes" anyone sex or a relationship, but disrespect and hypocrisy bug me. Its not okay for someone to treat me as a second class citizen because I'm a sexual person. Yes they may reject me, no they may not treat me like I'm beneath them. And another thing I don't like about the article is that it tells women who are sexual will never get a man, and that's utterly ridiculous.

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ladybug2203


I never said nor meant that they couldn't, I just think its hypocritical to fuck like a rabbit cuz "I'm a man" then expect a virginal wife, I just think they should practice what they preach. I do not believe that anyone "owes" anyone sex or a relationship, but disrespect and hypocrisy bug me. Its not okay for someone to treat me as a second class citizen because I'm a sexual person. Yes they may reject me, no they may not treat me like I'm beneath them. And another thing I don't like about the article is that it tells women who are sexual will never get a man, and that's utterly ridiculous.

Women who are sexually promiscuous will definitely get men! Their choices of men who wish to marry them may be diminished, but rest assured the number won't be 0.

Let me ask: When it comes to the men you are personally speaking of, are they committing acts of physical abuse or harassment against you? If so, then they definitely have stepped over the line and they should be reported to the authorities, and punished as per prescribed law in your jurisdiction. If they are simply saying, "I am not interested in you as a dating/romantic/sexual partner," then that's just being rejected. Their reasoning for rejecting you is irrelevant.

Male and female sexuality are not the same thing, and I don't think it's hypocritical for a person with sexual experience to prefer a virginal partner, or vice versa. It's merely a preference, and both men and women have every right to prefer whatever they want, and for whatever reason(s) they want. Can that be frustrating? Could these preferences hurt other people's feelings? Sure. Clearly it touched a nerve with you, in some way. But again, all people have a right to accept or reject love, romance, and sexual relationships based purely on their own standards. And those standards may be viewed by others as unfair, bigoted, prejudiced, or absurd. But it doesn't matter.

Keep in mind that similar to any other market, the sexual marketplace has a way of correcting itself. Men who demand virginal women, for example, may find that there are very few out there, and that they themselves do not possess the looks, charm, physique, money, charisma, etc., to land one. At that point, they will be required to lower their standard, if they want to secure a wife, girlfriend, or whatever.

Reversing the genders, another example can be made with women who are seeking to marry a wealthy man. There are plenty of men who are decent, kind, attractive, and have all of the attributes that would seemingly make for a good partner. Unfortunately, they don't have a mid-six-figure income. There are women out there who will reject them as a long-term partner. Is that fair to the men? I would argue that while this may be frustrating to men, it is absolutely fair. It's the woman's life, her body, her preference, her decision to make, and no one else's.

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StudioFiftyFour
Women who are sexually promiscuous will definitely get men! Their choices of men who wish to marry them may be diminished, but rest assured the number won't be 0.

This statement implies that there are men who would put up with women with experience, but most men would prefer a woman without it.

I think it is more likely that there are men who prefer women without experience, men who prefer women with experience, and men who are indifferent. In order for the quoted statement to be true, there would have to be far more men who are in the first category for experienced women to see their marriage opportunities diminished.

I admit it is pure anecdote, but my personal experience doesn't suggest this is the case. In the modern world I certainly hope men who want virgins are in a minority, along with women who look at the size of a man's wallet. It's reasonable that people desire relationships with mutual respect. When someone is "settling" for you, they don't respect you.

Anyhow, what I - and I think most people commenting - object to is not if an individual guy has a preference for a virgin, but people teaching girls that "this is the way it is," as if all men had that preference. It's just not the truth. Like telling them that they have to be mothers, it sets them up for one vision of life which may not be the one which actually suits them. I'm all for people who mutually believe that sex should wait until marriage finding each other, but I'm also all for neither women nor men having to repress their sexuality prior to marriage out of an unjustified fear of ending up alone as a consequence.

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yurble

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StudioFiftyFour
Women who are sexually promiscuous will definitely get men! Their choices of men who wish to marry them may be diminished, but rest assured the number won't be 0.

This statement implies that there are men who would put up with women with experience, but most men would prefer a woman without it.

I think it is more likely that there are men who prefer women without experience, men who prefer women with experience, and men who are indifferent. In order for the quoted statement to be true, there would have to be far more men who are in the first category for experienced women to see their marriage opportunities diminished.

I admit it is pure anecdote, but my personal experience doesn't suggest this is the case. In the modern world I certainly hope men who want virgins are in a minority, along with women who look at the size of a man's wallet. It's reasonable that people desire relationships with mutual respect. When someone is "settling" for you, they don't respect you.

Anyhow, what I - and I think most people commenting - object to is not if an individual guy has a preference for a virgin, but people teaching girls that "this is the way it is," as if all men had that preference. It's just not the truth. Like telling them that they have to be mothers, it sets them up for one vision of life which may not be the one which actually suits them. I'm all for people who mutually believe that sex should wait until marriage finding each other, but I'm also all for neither women nor men having to repress their sexuality prior to marriage out of an unjustified fear of ending up alone as a consequence.

This.

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ladybug2203

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yurble

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StudioFiftyFour
Women who are sexually promiscuous will definitely get men! Their choices of men who wish to marry them may be diminished, but rest assured the number won't be 0.

This statement implies that there are men who would put up with women with experience, but most men would prefer a woman without it.

I think it is more likely that there are men who prefer women without experience, men who prefer women with experience, and men who are indifferent. In order for the quoted statement to be true, there would have to be far more men who are in the first category for experienced women to see their marriage opportunities diminished.

I admit it is pure anecdote, but my personal experience doesn't suggest this is the case. In the modern world I certainly hope men who want virgins are in a minority, along with women who look at the size of a man's wallet. It's reasonable that people desire relationships with mutual respect. When someone is "settling" for you, they don't respect you.

Anyhow, what I - and I think most people commenting - object to is not if an individual guy has a preference for a virgin, but people teaching girls that "this is the way it is," as if all men had that preference. It's just not the truth. Like telling them that they have to be mothers, it sets them up for one vision of life which may not be the one which actually suits them. I'm all for people who mutually believe that sex should wait until marriage finding each other, but I'm also all for neither women nor men having to repress their sexuality prior to marriage out of an unjustified fear of ending up alone as a consequence.

This.

This BIG TIME^^^

I might also add that taken to the extremes, expecting a virginal partner is why whole cultures practice female genital mutilation including sewing the labia shut, wearing burquas to hide women because it's assumed men can't control their lust, and honor killings of females because they exercised some sort of choice in their lives.

This thread and some comments in it is starting to sound a bit on the MRA side, which is against rule #6.

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Peace
I might also add that taken to the extremes, expecting a virginal partner is why whole cultures practice female genital mutilation including sewing the labia shut, wearing burquas to hide women because it's assumed men can't control their lust, and honor killings of females because they exercised some sort of choice in their lives.

A bit less extreme, but still pretty horrible, I read an account by a woman who had received sex "education" which compared people who had had sex to a chewed piece of gum. She was abducted and held for years. Afterwards, she not only had to deal with the trauma of what happened to her, but also her own opinion that she was completely worthless because she'd lost what gave her value. I honestly don't know how anyone can condone teaching young women to feel that they've lost all self-worth when they're raped by a priest, their brother, or that date from the church that their parents approved of.

Consensual sex and non-consensual sex are two different things, of course, but when there's condemnation of consensual sex, victims of non-consensual sex will always be forced to defend themselves on charges that they consented but changed their minds later to avoid censure.

So there are many reasons why I find an institutionalized fixation on virginity disturbing. I do get that people can't always choose their preferences. You might have a woman who runs her own company who is submissive in the bedroom, or a man who supports equality who is impotent unless he believes the woman is a virgin. People are entitled to their preferences and fetishes without having to justify them, but when those fetishes are enshrined in the culture they come to affect a lot more people than those who genuinely have them.

I thought there was a sexual revolution in the 60s...I wonder why this is still a topic, outside of a niche group.

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Peace

This BIG TIME^^^

I might also add that taken to the extremes, expecting a virginal partner is why whole cultures practice female genital mutilation including sewing the labia shut, wearing burquas to hide women because it's assumed men can't control their lust, and honor killings of females because they exercised some sort of choice in their lives.

This thread and some comments in it is starting to sound a bit on the MRA side, which is against rule #6.

Uhhh... yeah. Exactly. Choice. Choice in who you want to sleep with. Choice in your sexual partners.

No one is owed anything. Those who believe they are owed respect, owed a date, owed sex... they're going to end up very disappointed. You might be owed an inkling of common courtesy, but that's about it.

I'm not sure why any man, or any woman, would honestly believe that they had some sort of implied right to be liked by a member of the opposite sex.

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yurble

This statement implies that there are men who would put up with women with experience, but most men would prefer a woman without it.

I think it is more likely that there are men who prefer women without experience, men who prefer women with experience, and men who are indifferent. In order for the quoted statement to be true, there would have to be far more men who are in the first category for experienced women to see their marriage opportunities diminished.

I admit it is pure anecdote, but my personal experience doesn't suggest this is the case. In the modern world I certainly hope men who want virgins are in a minority, along with women who look at the size of a man's wallet. It's reasonable that people desire relationships with mutual respect. When someone is "settling" for you, they don't respect you.

Anyhow, what I - and I think most people commenting - object to is not if an individual guy has a preference for a virgin, but people teaching girls that "this is the way it is," as if all men had that preference. It's just not the truth. Like telling them that they have to be mothers, it sets them up for one vision of life which may not be the one which actually suits them. I'm all for people who mutually believe that sex should wait until marriage finding each other, but I'm also all for neither women nor men having to repress their sexuality prior to marriage out of an unjustified fear of ending up alone as a consequence.

I haven't implied anything.


I don't care what people prefer or don't prefer. I don't care what they are willing to settle for or not settle for. I don't care if a person wants to date a man, a woman, a rich man, a poor man, a rich woman, a poor woman, men or women of different races, ages, sizes, shapes. I don't care if they are in a relationship for money, sex, love, companionship, all of the above, none of the above, or some other reason.


Sex is an open and free marketplace, based on mutual consent and individual preference. Individuals may discriminate against others for whatever reason they like.

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StudioFiftyFour
Reversing the genders, another example can be made with women who are seeking to marry a wealthy man. There are plenty of men who are decent, kind, attractive, and have all of the attributes that would seemingly make for a good partner. Unfortunately, they don't have a mid-six-figure income. There are women out there who will reject them as a long-term partner. Is that fair to the men? I would argue that while this may be frustrating to men, it is absolutely fair. It's the woman's life, her body, her preference, her decision to make, and no one else's.

I think the offense that is being taken is comparing something like wealth, which is self-evidently a good trait to have in a partner of either gender, with sexual inexperience, which is only seen as a good trait to have in a female partner. Men don't get their bodies mutilated to discourage them from not becoming wealthy, and no man has ever been stoned for being poor. We aren't just talking about the sexual market place, we are talking about a cultural double standard. My mother found out that I had sex with my boyfriend when I was eighteen and she couldn't look at me for weeks and screamed that I was ruined, all the while knowing that my older brother kept condoms in his room. I doubt that many boys my age put up with this kind of shaming for acting on their natural inclinations.

But, as I said, men who value sexual inexperience pretty much get the sex they deserve. I love all the posts on MRA sites about the shitty sex lives these guys have. It's all, "I married a twenty-five-year-old virgin, and I'm so shocked and disappointed that she didn't turn into a freaky slut on our wedding night." I don't blame these men for wanting to marry a virgin, but I think it's hilarious to see them turn around and bitch that they got a frigid religious nut.

I agree that sex is an open market place, and I NEVER EVER said that someone is owed sex/date/being liked, but the slut shaming has got to stop, for gods sake its the 21st century, no one has any right to shame anyone because of their sexual libido/life or lack thereof. Do what you want with a consenting adult, mind your own business, and practice what you preach, I don't see anything unfair about that. Saying "thanks but no thanks, you're not my type/not what I'm looking for etc" is PERFECTLY acceptable, saying "your a whore/slut/sinful/loose woman who no man will ever want, you're ruined because you had sex, but I'm a man I can't control it so its ok if I sleep around" is NOT acceptable in my book.

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StudioFiftyFour

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Peace

This BIG TIME^^^

I might also add that taken to the extremes, expecting a virginal partner is why whole cultures practice female genital mutilation including sewing the labia shut, wearing burquas to hide women because it's assumed men can't control their lust, and honor killings of females because they exercised some sort of choice in their lives.

This thread and some comments in it is starting to sound a bit on the MRA side, which is against rule #6.

Uhhh... yeah. Exactly. Choice. Choice in who you want to sleep with. Choice in your sexual partners.

No one is owed anything. Those who believe they are owed respect, owed a date, owed sex... they're going to end up very disappointed. You might be owed an inkling of common courtesy, but that's about it.

I'm not sure why any man, or any woman, would honestly believe that they had some sort of implied right to be liked by a member of the opposite sex.

I don't quite see how your response has anything to do with my statement that you quoted, but whatever.

I don't see choice when women are forcibly mutilated for male respect. I don't see choice in being forced to wear headscarves and burqua. I don't see choice in honor killings or forced marriages. But that's just me. Maybe you can mansplain this for all the little wimmins here.

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StudioFiftyFour

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yurble
This statement implies that there are men who would put up with women with experience, but most men would prefer a woman without it.

I think it is more likely that there are men who prefer women without experience, men who prefer women with experience, and men who are indifferent. In order for the quoted statement to be true, there would have to be far more men who are in the first category for experienced women to see their marriage opportunities diminished.

I haven't implied anything.

You have said that women who have lots of sexual partners will have fewer potential marriage partners. I have named two ways in which that could be the case. One, all men prefer women without experience, but some will settle for women with experience. Two, there are men who prefer experience, men who prefer inexperience, and men who are neutral, but far more men prefer inexperience to experience. Which of these is the reason that you think women with lots of sexual partners will have fewer marriage offers, or is there a third reason that I haven't thought of?

Also, why do you think that statement (about fewer marriage offers) is true? Personal observation, rigorous study, or what you were taught?

While I respect people's right to choose or decline sex partners as they see fit, I can't help but laugh when Madonna/whore complexed men thinks any woman who likes sex couldn't possibly be a good wife, then marries a woman who's missionary only type and only does it to have baybeez, then wonder why their sex life sucks.

If you don't want me due to the fact that I have too much sexual history, that is fine, but don't say untrue garbage that I'm not gf/wife material, I may not be for you but I do make a fiercely loyal partner for the right person. Just cuz I'm not your type doesn't mean I'm incapable of being a good wife/gf to someone else.

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ladybug2203
While I respect people's right to choose or decline sex partners as they see fit, I can't help but laugh when Madonna/whore complexed men thinks any woman who likes sex couldn't possibly be a good wife, then marries a woman who's missionary only type and only does it to have baybeez, then wonder why their sex life sucks.

And therein lies the heart of the problem: the message is that sex is super-important...so important that you save it for just this one person for the rest of your life...but at the same time, sex is totally unimportant because it's just superficial, animalistic, and base. This type of cultural schizophrenia about sex is one reason why the madonna/whore complex continues. Pick a lane already, fundies.

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happyhiker

I think the offense that is being taken is comparing something like wealth, which is self-evidently a good trait to have in a partner of either gender, with sexual inexperience, which is only seen as a good trait to have in a female partner. Men don't get their bodies mutilated to discourage them from not becoming wealthy, and no man has ever been stoned for being poor. We aren't just talking about the sexual market place, we are talking about a cultural double standard. My mother found out that I had sex with my boyfriend when I was eighteen and she couldn't look at me for weeks and screamed that I was ruined, all the while knowing that my older brother kept condoms in his room. I doubt that many boys my age put up with this kind of shaming for acting on their natural inclinations.

But, as I said, men who value sexual inexperience pretty much get the sex they deserve. I love all the posts on MRA sites about the shitty sex lives these guys have. It's all, "I married a twenty-five-year-old virgin, and I'm so shocked and disappointed that she didn't turn into a freaky slut on our wedding night." I don't blame these men for wanting to marry a virgin, but I think it's hilarious to see them turn around and bitch that they got a frigid religious nut.

I don't care what individual men value or don't value. I don't care what individual women value or don't value.

If you want a man with sexual experience, fine. If you want a woman with sexual experience, fine.

Either way, you aren't owed sex in any circumstance. That's really where I am coming from.

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Peace

I don't see choice when women are forcibly mutilated for male respect. I don't see choice in being forced to wear headscarves and burqua. I don't see choice in honor killings or forced marriages. But that's just me. Maybe you can mansplain this for all the little wimmins here.

You are pointing to an extreme example that is completely off topic. These types of crimes do not happen in the US, because in the US we have choice, and we aren't living under Sharia Law.

No one is forced to do anything, as far as love, sex, marriage, etc. In human trafficking cases where that does happen, criminal charges can come of it.

Consequently, no one is obligated to have sex with you, or me, or anyone else. And we're not obligated to "respect" each other's sexual histories, either, nor are we obligated to disrespect those histories.

The sexual marketplace is a completely free market. As it should be, goddammit.