Going home to a stranger in the house

My break between quarters is coming up this weekend and I was looking very forward to going home to see my BF and my kitties and my mom...and then I found out her live-in boyfriend is having his estranged son come and stay at the house for about a month while he looks for a job. I am a little uneasy about having a man I've never met before in the house and sleeping in the bedroom right next to mine.

On one hand, it sounds like he might be someone I could get along with. He's 23 (around my age), he's kind of a shy guy and he's into video games (and I have basically a game shrine in my bedroom at home). On the other hand...strange man in the house. I like to lounge around the house when I'm on break and I will just feel mighty uncomfortable if a stranger is also lounging. And I also am wondering if the guy is a creep (hopefully he isn't a condescending asshole like his father - that's a totally other story in itself).

My largest concern is that this guy, for whatever reason, may ignore that my three cats are INDOOR only. Mom lives in the country and there are fucking coyotes in the backyard, and I don't want him or anything thinking that "they'll come back" if one of them bolts out the door. The guy has a cat and I'm not sure if said cat is coming with him...I'm kind of hoping it's not because that will mean a lot of extra stress on my poor cats, and there's no telling if his cat has anything like distemper or feline leukemia or something that could kill my cats should they be in contact with one another.

I'm just totally bummed out about this because I was looking forward to a nice, relaxing break. Now I'm going to be on edge while this strange man is in the house. Mom wanted to say "no", but her BF made sure to tell her about all the stuff he's done for me and blah blah blah she owes him this favor. Mom doesn't really want the guy there either, and we're crossing our fingers that he will change his plans.

I know I probably sound weird and selfish, but I am NOT a people person, and I will be uncomfortable at best with a strange man in the house. I will definitely be friendly to the guy if he's there. I'm hoping he turns out to be cool so I can feel a little more at ease, but geez. The guy couldn't have picked a worse time to up and decide to come here from Florida for a visit.

my god women MOVE OUT ALREADY

Wow. I would be anxious too. let me amend that. CRAZY anxious. Do you have alternatives?

Well, I'm not technically living at home, so there's no need to 'move out'. And no, I really have no other alternatives...all my friends who ever lived back home have either moved to laces that aren't shitholes or are away at college. And as much as I'd love to stay with my BF, his parents are a pain in the ass and I'd rather not stay around them longer than necessary.

And both my mom and her BF work, so that mean there will be times I am alone in the house with this stranger. Splendid.

I wish the guy could have just gone to stay with his uncle (who lives about 10 minutes from my mom). The uncle has no indoor-only house pets and all of their children have gone to college, which means he could sleep there without kicking someone else out of their bed.

Who is he kicking out of bed? Why is he 'estranged'? How does your mom feel- was the attitude like, "Suck it up?"

I don't know if Mom made this decision or not, but I think she decided to let StrangeMan sleep in her/her BF's bed, Mom would sleep on the couch (which she actually does often because her BF snores), and her BF would get to sleep in the basement. And I know that will be just a hoot because I keep my laptop in the basement and I just know he'll be coming up to me every 20 or so minutes and telling me I need to go to bed because the faint hum from my headphones or the subtle glow from my laptop is keeping him awake or some equally retarded bullshit.

Mom...is a bit nuts. I think she only reason she agreed to this crap is because she's oh-so-scared of her BF leaving her again, thus her walking on eggshells and agreeing to shit she doesn't want.

And the guy is estranged because once the BF divorced StrangeMan's mother, he never had any contact with StrangeMan after that, and I guess they want to patch things up or something. Which is peachy, but is also going to be at the cost of my damn comfort. So, in essence...yes, this is a matter of both my mom and I being told to just "suck it up". I hope StrangeMan's plans fall through or he changes his mind. I have met the BF's other children before (all adults) and they're all quite nice, but still - until I get to know this guy and can know whether or not if he's a creep, I'm going to be extremely uncomfortable, especially when I know it will be ONLY him in the house (as in, Mom and her BF are working, and I go and visit my own BF). Cue massive discomfort - the guy could do absolutely anything in that absence!

I'd like to smack my mom with a clue-by-four for agreeing with this. If it wasn't for my BF, I would have stayed here and just had Mom make sure the guy stayed out of my stuff and didn't go near my cats.

I want to give the guy the benefit of the doubt because as much of a jerk as Mom's BF is, the people he maintains friendships or other relationships with are fairly nice (save for his mother - she's like the goddess of toxicity). I'll be nice to the guy, but I am going to bitch very loudly if he gives off a creepy vibe or I catch him doing anything he should not be doing.

Fair enough. He may be freaked out as well.

There are vaccines for just about everything you mentioned the cats could get. I know, I don't want to chance things either: I took a stray cat in (now my beloved little tanzey) when I had other cats. I had to banish him upstairs because he got too agressive.
Keep your fingers crossed.

Well the guy ended up coming (without his cat).

I am officially scared. This man apparently has some sort of mental illness that requires medication, and his bags (containing his meds) got lost on the flight, so here he sits, unmedicated. The guy isn't like perverted-creepy, but just creepy in other ways...as in, he showed me a collection of books he downloaded that all pertained to making bombs.

I'm honestly afraid to be in my own house now. There WILL be days when it will be just me and him in the house and that terrifies me. Mom said to me, "Oh if he starts to go crazy when you're here alone, just take your cellphone and walk down to the gas station for a little while". I was under the impression this was a normal guy, not an unmedicated special needs man, and if the guy goes nuts and I leave the house, my cats and the dog will be there with him, and that scares me too because there is no way I can lug four animals out of the house on my own. Not to mention that, if things get really bad, the nearest help is 15 minutes away.

He seems polite, and he really loves to talk to people, but I am still scared. I am doing my best to not piss him off. This is going to be a very long two weeks. *sigh*

your mom is a nut for letting this freak in your home

Cambion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Well the guy ended up coming (without his cat).
>
> I am officially scared. This man apparently has
> some sort of mental illness that requires
> medication, and his bags (containing his meds) got
> lost on the flight, so here he sits, unmedicated.
> The guy isn't like perverted-creepy, but just
> creepy in other ways...as in, he showed me a
> collection of books he downloaded that all
> pertained to making bombs.
>
OH SHIT

Oh that's just the fun from my end. According to my mom, the guy gets a touch of insomnia when he's off his medication...sooo, he ended up going to bed at 1 a.m., waking up to begin his day at 3:30 a.m., making coffee and generally walking back and forth across the house about two dozen times. He also decided to go stand out on the deck and scream as loud as possible around 4 or 5 in the morning. When asked, he said, "I want to hear my echo". Apparently he also is not too fond of taking his meds because they make him sleepy...this is gonna be so, so fun.

Have I mentioned how much I hate my mom for allowing this? I am expected to entertain this guy when no one else is home too. And my poor cats - whom I always let out early in the morning - are confined to the garage all day (with food and water and beds and catboxes) because our "guest" loves to leave the door wide open while he screams off the porch.

You mom is an idiot for doing this.

I know she is, but for the record...I don't know if she even knew this man was special needs until he arrived (her BF conveniently left that part out). Or, if she did, she didn't anticipate him losing his medications. Speaking of which, the guy already told me he's not taking his meds anymore, which means more being up at 3 a.m., more me being entertainer for hours on end, and more dog-hurting (yeah, he's been hurting the dog by playing rough with her). Hopefully a few more nights of him screaming at 3 in the morning on a work night will prompt my mom to say something, but I'm not expecting it since she's such a doormat.

Now she's saying to lock my bedroom door and keep my cell phone nearby when I sleep, since more often than not, I will be alone in the house with the guy. That'd be great, except I don't get phone service here. And I know all this guy would have to do is throw all 230 pounds of himself against my door and he'd get in in a second. I'm doing my best not to make him mad, because if he decided he wanted to kick my ass, there's no one around to help me that could get here fast.

I even feel bad leaving the house to go see my friends or my BF because if this guy is here alone, there's no telling if he'd destroy anything or hurt the animals. I want out, but I don't want him to break the dog's ribs or anything. This sucks. I don't know what to do. His father doesn't give a crap because Daddio is at work all day and doesn't need to deal with the guy, leaving me, my mom, and the animals to provide the entertainment.

You need to stop that hurting the dog shit NOW. If you pick a bad enough fight with him and your mom hears it maybe she will ask him to leave.

The guy's dad defends all his behavior. When the guy was hurting the dog, Duh's response was, "Oh the dog's a big wussy". When the guy snapped today and was locked in the garage in the dark playing with the cats, Duh said, "Oh, that's normal". And Duhddy also has told the guy it's okay if he goes off his very needed medication.

I know Duh's kids don't speak to him anymore and he's really trying, for some reason, to keep contact with this son of his. But really, this man needs to be medicated, and I am so scared he might hurt me, my mom, the cats or the dog at any time. I'm no lightweight, but there's only so much I can do to fight off this man if he decides he wants to hurt the dog or me.

Spedley went a little nuts tonight, to the point where Mom was afraid to go back in the house. Duh took the guy somewhere (Mom hopes to the ER to be medicated, but I doubt Duh cares enough). I know it can sometimes be hard to deal with having a special needs child, but it can't be denied when being around that child puts others in danger. I am so scared because I have to be home tomorrow with this man, alone, from 6 a.m. until about 6 p.m. Mom can't take off from work, and Duh doesn't want to take responsibility for his child like he said he would, so I'm just going to hope and pray things go okay. Only bad thing is the only working phone is in an open area, so I couldn't lock myself away and call the police if he gets abusive.

The worst part is this guy is going to be in the house for TWO months. I am so scared that, if this guy remains in the house and off his meds, it could be the last time I see the dog and the cats alive. It's only been three damn days. I don't know what to do. I want to stay away, but I worry if I'm not around to entertain Spedley, he'll hurt the animals, and like most pet owners, I feel obligated to stay and protect my pets. You'd think if Duhddy REALLY cared for the guy, he'd make sure the guy was on his medication, but since he doesn't have to deal with the guy for hours on end during the day, he doesn't care that he's putting people and animals in danger. Fucking asshole. I just want to cry.

I hope Spedley gets admitted. I do not want to live in fear like this. And I know Duh's excuse will be, "Ohh, I done so many favors for Cambion. The least you guys can do is put up with my kid for a few months" -- yeah, except I'm not nuts. *sigh*

My cousin works in behavioral science...maybe I can have him help me if I get really scared. I am in no way trained to deal with special needs people, and neither is my mother.

I know why you are staying around but until this last post i didn't realize how crazy he is. Can you spike something witha sleep aid and maybe he will zonk out. Hon, if you are afraid to approach the PHONE, this is beyond "pain in the ass."

I know you are not trying to piss him off but what if you told him point blank to keep his fucking hands off your pets?

Telling the guy point-blank sometimes doesn't work either. Mom has told him countless times to not leave the door wide open when coming into or leaving the house, and she has also told him not to pick the dog up or yank her legs. Nothing sinks in because he still leaves the door open and harasses the dog. At the very least, he has listened when he told him to keep the cats in the garage, but that doesn't help the poor dog, who now has a padlock on her cage door that my mom has the key to.

I am scared of pissing this guy off because there will be days when I am alone in the house with him for up to 12 hours and a lot of damage can get done in that time. In any case, this is some scary shit that I basically have no way out of.

Sorry, love. truly. Can you start to make his stuff disappear?

Thankfully, this guy decided to not take his duh's advice and chose to stay on his meds (which he got back yesterday evening from his lost suitcase). Aside from him wanting to do a million things at once, he is a lot more bearable to be around and no longer talks about killing people and such. The dog gets really mad when he gets too close to her now, which is understandable.

Now I'm just kind of irate because I am expected to entertain this man for my entire vacation when he is not related to me. Mom is even babbling at me to not visit my BF because our guest will be sad that he can't go with us, which also pisses me off because I only get to see my BF every couple of months and the time I spend with him is precious to me.

What exactly is wrong with this jerk?

My guess is 'two faced' (schizophrenic).
Mom is spineless wimp.
Duh is in total denial.
Don't EVER let yourself get into this situation again. I don't give a damn about 'that the crazy won't hurt you.'
I wonder how many dead people at the hands of these god damn whack jobs heard that from some simping famblee member.
I HATE mentals, and precisely for these reasons: a spineless wimp combined with a king (or queen) of egypt.
My sanity would be worth more than some freaking god damn mental having a place to stay. He would be out on the street because the aclu and politicians shut down the mental institutions.
So he's fucking sad if he can't go or whatever. THERE ARE CONSEQUENCES TO BAD BEHAVIOUR AND IT HAS BEEN PROVEN G.D. SCHIZYS CAN COMPREHEND EVEN THAT!! (although he might have something else).

Sorry to be blunt Cambion, but if I were you, I would get your dog and cat family and get back to your place pronto.

Your mom is weak. VERY weak. She is willing to endanger her own flesh and blood to cater to this shack up stud. My guess is this is not the first evidence of wimpy behaviour on her part.

You have to decide between your safety (I DO MEAN SAFETY!!) and your mom. If you do see her, you can try and make sure the shack up and his asshat kiddy is not there.

I'm sorry it is 'family'. But I think, sometimes, that family wears the most evil mask I've ever seen.

It is typical of these mentals to decide they don't need their meds. I have observed that incredible egotism and arrogance connected with mentals and, especially, schizys abounds. Yes, probaly the majority will not ever bother anyone, but do you really want to take the chance since he has shown a prediliction for violence and hurts others? And duh just makes excuses?

Wake up, smell the coffee, and run. It may save you and your fur peoples lives.

p.s.: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't fall for the inevitable argument she'll give about hurting her feelings. Ultimately, she doesn't care about yours (see above comment). Tell her you will call and make sure she's ok..

p.p.s: if he kills you and not your fur kin, what do you think will happen to them with whacko son and duh (I think he's just as whacko) and weak will mom?

Two cents, the guy decided to take his meds when he got them back, and they do make a shitload of difference. He has gone from dangerous to a pain in the ass since getting the meds into his system. The thing is it wasn't Spedley who decided not to take the meds - it was his Duh who told him it was okay not to. Amazing how this sped kid had the capacity to know he needed his meds, but his Duh - who is not on meds - did not.

Today was real fun since Spedley took his medication later than usual. Between the hours of about 12 p.m. and 2 p.m., Spedley demanded I make him a video game, "draw him 50,000 pictures", take him to the store on foot, go for a hike in the dense brush after it rained and a few other dumbshit things. And when I told him I didn't know how to make a video game, he would reply, "Yes you do. You said you did"...even though I told him about a dozen times I don't. And if I told him I didn't want to hike or go to the store or draw eleventy billion inane pictures he'd forget about five minutes later, he'd go, "Yes you do". Grr. Mom and I are basically babysitters for this overgrown baby.

Mom is none to happy about the guy either because he plays around outside and tracks copious amounts of dirt into the house. She's losing her mind when he's on his meds...and it's only been six days. And he is always demanding to go out to eat (my mom usually picks up the tab for this since Duh is never home when it's dinner time). The guy is just being so coddled and given his way and it sucks. My mom can't afford to be going out five days a week to feed his bottomless pit of a stomach.

I really don't know what is wrong with the guy...I don't know if it's autism or what. He doesn't act like a schizophrenic, though.

Maybe I should have stuck this in the main forum - it deals with bratty sped kids and irresponsible parents.

And also, my current place is a dorm which does not allow pets. My mom keeps a padlock on the dog's cage now, which is good, especially since the dog is the animal Spedley seemed to hurt. He treats the cats okay.

Now, would common sense not dictate that if you're going to have a guest - mentally impaired or not - stay over, you'd arrange some things for them so they would not be bored in the event you cannot be with them? Normal people don't want to be cooped up in a house all day with no way out, so what makes Duh think this kid does? Spedley is extremely high maintenance and needs to be doing shit all the time to be content...I, on the other hand, am a homebody. I enjoy sitting and reading, drawing, meditating, playing games ALONE, taking long baths, playing and cuddling with my cats and many other solitary activities. Duh knows I am a loner and still chose to inflict his retarded progeny on me. I don't know if this is payback for having to drive me to college so much or what, but fuck, I wasn't a danger to anyone.

Only one more week and I can go the hell back to college. Then he's Duh's and Mom's problem until Thanksgiving. Spedley decided to go out and get drunk tonight, even though he can't have any alcohol while on his meds. Part of me hopes he gets into a bar fight and gets arrested, but then, that would likely mean Duh expecting my mom to spring the bail money, so that wouldn't be good either.

Visine in his soda. do it the hard way.