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Your opinion on social norms / conventions and a rant.

Your opinion on social norms / conventions and a rant.
August 27, 2016
Do you guys think social norms / conventions are bad?

I ask here because childfree-dom is something that goes against societal conventions {children are a woman's greatest achievement, women should stay home with the kids, women shouldn't work, and all the other bs}.

I can't decide how I feel.

On the one hand, a think a universal standard of behavior is good. When I let someone into my lane and they don't wave, I think they're rude {you knew your destination when you got into the car, you should enter lanes accordingly, rather than crossing over 3 lanes}. When someone holds a door because I'm close behind them, I think they're polite.

On the other hand, lately I've been getting the short end of the stick. On two separate occasions, guys that have said really gross sexual stuff in the past have chastised me for swearing. Maybe it's just because I'm asexual, but I find sexual comments 500x more offensive than 'shit,' 'damn,' and 'fuck.' I locked myself out of the car at the pet store, and had someone pick me up and drive me home. When we got there, they said they will get the dog food "because you're a lady". I grabbed it out before they did and carried it inside. It irks me that women are expected not to swear, and are expected to be unable to do labor. The dog food bag is less than 50lbs. I can manage about 50.

Do you think social norms are good or bad? Are they okay, in so much as they aren't gendered?

Lock him up or put him down.
Stolen from Shiny.
Re: Your opinion in social norms / conventions and a rant.
August 27, 2016
If conventions are designed to make it easier for humans to be around other humans, they are generally good. If conventions are designed to trample over individual expression, they are generally bad.

Of course there are people who will say "My child screaming on a bus is individual expression" and those who will say "I'm offended by your blue hair" but this is of course not what I mean. Still, there will be borderline cases: one person's free expression is another person's hostile environment. Basically, try to remember that other people live on this rock, and you don't have the right to make their days suck, but neither do they have the right to require that you hide who you are simply to make them feel good.

Holding doors is generally good. Offering to help someone carry something is polite, but assuming a person isn't capable is rude. Sexual comments are inappropriate at work and so is swearing, but bother can be acceptable among friends - and neither is a gender-specific rule. Not everyone who drives is going to be familiar with where they are going so I typically assume ignorance unless the person has blown past multiple signs of a lane closure in order to merge further up.

The swearing chastisement wasn't at work / from coworkers/managers, and the person that said they would get the dog food said, and I quote "I will get the dog food because you're a lady."

I definitely agree with your top comment. Why can't people only 'enforce' social norms that are beneficial to everyone?

Lock him up or put him down.
Stolen from Shiny.
Re: Your opinion on social norms / conventions and a rant.
September 04, 2016
How's this one- "That's anti-social", followed by "how are you going to do that in the Army?". I don't get it. I don't hate humanity, I'm just not that interested in making friends. I'm just as happy sitting by myself reading or drawing as I am hanging out with people. Somehow, my parents think that because I'm somewhat of an introvert, I won't function in the military. I may not chill with my "battle buddies" every day, but I'm not going to lock myself in my room either. And I certainly would risk my life for theirs.
I like both worlds, but I really prize my "alone do-nothing" time.
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