It's talk like a pirate day!

Captain Bravo


Long ago lived a seaman named Captain Bravo. He was a manly man's man who showed no fear in facing his enemies.

One day, while sailing the seven seas, a lookout spotted a pirate
ship and the crew became frantic.

Captain Bravo bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt." The First Mate quickly retrieved the red shirt and Captain Bravo put it on and ordered his crew into battle and defeated the pirates.

Later on, the lookout again spotted two pirate ships. The captain again howled for his red shirt and once again vanquished the pirates.

That evening, all the men sat around on the deck recounting the day's triumphs and one of the them asked the captain: "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before battle?"

The captain replied: "If I am wounded in the attack, the shirt will not show my blood, and thus, you men will continue to resist,
unafraid."

All of the men sat in silence and marveled at the courage of such a man.

As dawn came the next morning, the lookout once again spotted TEN pirate ships approaching.

Captain Bravo gazed with steely eyes upon the vast armada arrayed
against his lone ship and, without fear, turned and calmly shouted...

"Bring me my brown pants."

Good one...AAAARRRRGGHHH!!! How's that? Or better yet, "Yo, ho-ho, and a bottle of rum."

ROFLMAO! That was GREAT, RR. Shiver me timbers, a big mug o'grog for the lass! Arrrrrrrgh!

Thanks for the great joke, Rose Red. I told it, in my best pirate voice, to DH over dinner and he almost spit out his squid laughing! ARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGG!

One more for ya right bastards:

A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and the talk turns to their adventures. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg leg, a hook, and an eye patch. "How did you end up with the peg leg?" he asks.
The pirate replies, "I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. As my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off."
"Wow!" says the seaman. "What about your hook?"
"Well," answers the pirate, "we were boarding a ship when one of the enemy hacked off my hand."
"Incredible!" says the seaman. "How'd you get the eye patch?"
"A seagull shiat in my eye," the pirate replies.
"You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?" the seaman asks.
"Well," says the pirate, "it was my first day with the hook."

Send that wench back to the brothel where she belongs. (the mother)

I gotta take Xanax to watch that. And I can't even bear the bride ones.

Hi all.. Bits from a pirate song an guy I know wrote. Warning: Fairly dirty.

CHORUS
That I’d love to let my anchor drop
Into your ocean blue
Won’t you shiver me timbers
‘Cause you’ve raised my mainsail too
And now my ship is full of seamen
If you’d like to meet the crew
Oh baby, won’t you walk my plank tonight!

And now my telescope’s extended
‘Cause I’ve been looking at your view
I’ve got a barrel with your name on
And it’s big enough for two
And now my mainbrace needs a splicin’
And so girl I say to you
Baby, won’t you walk my plank
Baby, can I fill your tankard
Baby, won’t you walk my plank tonight!

YAAAARRRRGGGHHHH!!!!

I actually got the ring Keith Richards has on (or, a version was made for me) in PotC and it's awesome.