Oh, barf

I saw a comment on my fb page; a friend of a friend referring to last week as "the worst of her life." Someone responds and vaguely references a hospital visit. I have a friend who has someone in her life who's dying of cancer; wondering if this is my friend's friend (whose name I of course can't remember, because I'm me), I go to her page. Am I going to be consoling a distraught friend in the near future? No. This woman-- who clearly has not really suffered in her life if this is the worst thing that's ever happened to her-- miscarried just past her first trimester. There's a picture on her fb page of what looks like a cremation urn, and a very very posed one of her and presumably the clump's other DNA contributor mooning over a wrapped up baby blanket. She's full-on sympathy digging, and people are tripping over themselves to oblige.

They're going to frame the photo of them cradling the wadded up blanket. Seriously.



(Forgive if I'm not clear or at my sharpest. Not sleeping again. It's a cheap high, at least. )

Hey, update: somebody accidentally clicked the "haha" response on the "cradling the non-existent baby" photo and some of this woman's devout udder rubbers are freaking out.

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kittehpeoples
I saw a comment on my fb page; a friend of a friend referring to last week as "the worst of her life." Someone responds and vaguely references a hospital visit. I have a friend who has someone in her life who's dying of cancer; wondering if this is my friend's friend (whose name I of course can't remember, because I'm me), I go to her page. Am I going to be consoling a distraught friend in the near future? No. This woman-- who clearly has not really suffered in her life if this is the worst thing that's ever happened to her-- miscarried just past her first trimester. There's a picture on her fb page of what looks like a cremation urn, and a very very posed one of her and presumably the clump's other DNA contributor mooning over a wrapped up baby blanket. She's full-on sympathy digging, and people are tripping over themselves to oblige.

They're going to frame the photo of them cradling the wadded up blanket. Seriously.



(Forgive if I'm not clear or at my sharpest. Not sleeping again. It's a cheap high, at least. )

Very very posed picture? Did she shoot 500 of them to get the right angle and spend 2 hours getting gussied up for the photo? Imagine, all this and the stress of an early term miscarriage.

Just figured out how to be the most popular person in the US! Just spend hours every day on fb giving this missee and all the others desperate for udder rubs attention. Simple!

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kittehpeoples
Hey, update: somebody accidentally clicked the "haha" response on the "cradling the non-existent baby" photo and some of this woman's devout udder rubbers are freaking out.

While it is colorless to laugh at someone else's misfortunes (unless, of course, they've laughed at your misfortunes.... ...bullied or belittled you, etc. then they are fair game for some) it is over the top to freak out when someone accidentally does something to someone else that you find offensive.

Why is it socially acceptable to freak out when someone accidentally clicks a button? It was an accident and there is no harm to the already grieving wanna moo. If a total stranger hits another car because of lack of attention people would freak out if the person in the car were to react to the bad driver like the devout udder rubbers due to the click accident. Both are accidents and if anyone has a right to be justifiably angry it is the person who is either hurt or has had their car destroyed. You'd think the button clicker caused the miscarriage with the way others are freaking out.

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freya
Very very posed picture? Did she shoot 500 of them to get the right angle and spend 2 hours getting gussied up for the photo? Imagine, all this and the stress of an early term miscarriage.

It's three-quarter view, soft lighting, her seated with him leaning over her shoulder, both of them looking down sadly at a baby blanket that has been folded to look as if there's a baby in it. Like you, I think it's wrong to laugh at another's misfortune, but this is nearly comical, it's so over the top.

I work with a guy whose wife ejected a clump many years ago. I think she was about four months along. She went on to have successful pregnasties afterward.

The funny thing was, he was VERY disdainful about the whole funeral "industry" with regard to clumps and said they were vultures. He said he paid a ridiculous amount of money for a " damn casket" but he went along because it was what his wife wanted. Obviously he wanted to have a kid but he thought all the fuss over a fetus was ridiculous. He rose in my estimation a bit because he could see how overblown the whole thing was.

The picture you are describing above is ridiculous. When I've had living breathing people die, the last thing I would do is post a picture of myself next to the casket. I guess there's no such thing any more as private grief.

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bell_flower
The picture you are describing above is ridiculous. When I've had living breathing people die, the last thing I would do is post a picture of myself next to the casket. I guess there's no such thing any more as private grief.

I agree your coworker was more together than these attention whoring parents. And I think that very attention whoring is the root of the fetus funerals and mourning photographs-- when you actually lose someone, a real person, people know you're grieving. You don't have to remind them of it. But when all you did was have a late period, then you have to work to get the same attention. You have to remind everyone, at every opportunity, that you lost a "child."

I suspect that a lot of the people who fawn over these moos do so awkwardly-- they don't really think of the loss as a real death, but they'd feel guilty saying so. Then moo insists on throwing her grief out on display and people feel obliged to play along or else look like an asshole. It's like holding an audience emotionally captive.

Bumping a bit of an old post here, but my sister actually had two miscarriages before the three-month mark, and she didn't do any casket-whoring or FB posting or whatever - she adhered to the "don't tell anyone until 3 months" adage so literally only immediate family knew she was even pregnant, and we're still the only ones who know she miscarried. Of course she was upset, because her and her husband were planning a second kid, but the two of them just sort of grieved quietly and moved on. They eventually did conceive my niece, who is perfectly healthy and normal, and aforementioned miscarriages are basically never mentioned except for the odd time in passing where it's relevant in context (like about her health issues that led to her having some difficulty conceiving and stuff).

My sister has made some pretty poop decisions in life, but her approach to parenting has always been pretty level-headed. She was also one of the first people to say that she believed me when I said I didn't want children - and this is back when I was in my teens.

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"Yes, fellow readers, nothing says 'devoted father of a special needs kid' quite like drinking, snorting cocaine, and then taking the boat out for a spin."
- Tiquer