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New element discovered

Posted by Anonymous User 
Anonymous User
New element discovered
October 07, 2008
Since the idiots passed the boob bill, thought this is rather funny. Y'all may have seen it before.

The Heaviest Element Known to Science

Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science.

The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of morons promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
Re: New element discovered
October 15, 2008
I just sent that to one of the instructors where I work, in case he would like to add it to his lecture!

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"I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"

:eatu
Re: New element discovered
October 17, 2008
Oh man... That's some clever shit right there. Beautiful. Juuust beautiful.
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