Teasing From Mom # 1529

BUT, in the middle of the joking, my Mom (formerly supportive of my CF choice) comes out with "Well, if you would give me a grandchild, then I wouldn't have to substitute the dogs!"


I really don't see a problem with this. You were teasing your Mom about her lifestyle choices, she teased you back about yours. Were your comments about her treatment of her dogs an indication of your lack of support for it? Of course not. Just like her joke did not necessarily mean you had lost her support of your CF status.

Just my opinion, of course.

It to me like Mom feels entitled to grandkids. Maybe Mom feels angry and resentful sometimes because her friends have grandkids to play with and she doesn't. Her friends show her pictures of their grandkids and Mom doesn't have any pictures to show. Mom feels left out. Maybe Mom feels like Biblioninja and her childfree husband are cheating her out of the joy of being a grandparent. Maybe Mom feels like Biblioninja owes her a grandchild or two. It sounds to me like Mom's "teasing" was motivated by hidden resentment, whereas when Mom is teased about the dogs, it isn't because anyone resents the dogs or Mom.

The point is that Biblioninja doesn't owe Mom anything, including grandkids. The fact that Mom would like a cute little grandchild to play with now and then is a terrible reason to have a child. Apparently, Mom doesn't see it that way.

Biblioninja, is this how you feel or am I totally off?

Grace

Joking and teasing often mirrors how a person really feels. Just my $.02...

You know - I would think of it just as teasing, but she has this way of picking at people...and I know that she has always wanted a gradnchild. She babysits a different child every day during the week (mostly her friends' grandchildren) and sometimes on the weekends she lets them sleep over her house. She is insane about grandkids and she knows that she will never get any, and every once in a while she likes to ask me if I'm "absolutely SURE that I don't want kids." Yes, mom, I'm VERY sure. She might have just been teasing, but really, she doesn't ask my homosexual brother if he is absolutely SURE that he doesn't want to fuck a woman. I just think that it is inappropriate. It's like asking a person if they're planning to fuck that evening - it's just too personal. To be honest, I don't think that she's completely unsupportive, but the comments have just come a little too often to make me think that she is just joking.

I don't get the "teasing" from my mom, I get the "sorry, you choose to be selfish and not have kids so I'm spending time with your brother who DOES have kids" guilt routine.