Some of my reasons

Thank you all for the warm welcome ! I thought I would give some of my reasons for deciding to be childfree.

1. I like quiet. I don't think I could handle someone being in my face 24/7 demanding my undivided attention. And having to constantly entertain them. I could not handle the noise, the whining and the screeching.

2. I am not patient. I don't like to repeat myself over and over again.

3. The financial matters.

4. This may sound selfish but, I don't want to lose my figure, and the whole pregnancy deal actually repulses me.

5. I like to pick up and go whenever I please.

6. I never had that motherly instinct. I never felt the need to reproduce.

7. Honestly I just don't like kids.

8. Again this might sound selfish, but I like to see the benefits of having or doing things. So I asked myself the question. How would having kids benefit me, or make my life better. Well I couldn't see it. They would only make me miserable.

9. My dog is my baby!

10. I don't want to lose my identity. And only be known as somebody's mother.

11. Having children in alot of cases ruin marriages and relationships. Whether it be financially, emotionally, or sexually.

12. I guess I was not meant to be a mother...and I'm perfectly okay with that!

So I am thankful for what I have. A wonderful fiance, a beautiful apartment, good friends...and I don't need a kid to complete me !

Sorry for the long post !

Those are many of my reasons too (except it would be cat babies for me). And believe me, it's not selfish at all to want to keep your figure. I wouldn't want to sacrifice a nice body for something that screams and makes me miserable. Sounds like life is treating you well...hooray for childfreedom!

Whatever works for one person, given it does not harm another, should be enough validation.

Anyone calling someone "selfish" over a benign choice such as being childfree is just jealous because they've chosen to make a mess of their lives and have kids.

Childfree life ROCKS. I am thankful every minute of every day that I am CHILDFREE!!!!!

Those are mine also. Additionally,....


1. I don't want to have a mom hair cut or constant scrunchie 'do. Almost every moo succumbs to this, no matter how beautiful her hair was before.

2. I like taking showers, washing and doing my hair, make up, and looking decent. All moos tell me they can't find time for this, even tho I don't understand why duhd can't watch the kid for 15-30 mins while moo gets ready.

3. I like having my nails done, and not have them ruined.

4. I like listening to my satellite radio all day, which constantly has many dirty words on it and touchy subjects not appropriate for little ears.

5. Altho I'm not a fashion plate, I like my clothes clean and flattering.

6. I like adult things like going to bars, swearing, movies, parties, dropping everything and going out, vacationing, reading books and the newspaper, walking the dog, relaxing, spending time with my hubby and other adults.
Moos tell me they all stop doing this post sprog.

7. I don't like soccer games, tee ball practices, school plays, gymboree, and other crap that every kids stops the minute they are an adult. You would think if they took athletics seriously, they would continue to exercise as an adult. A few do, but not many, so I can only assume the kids really aren't into it.

8. I like doing my job correctly and not trying to sneak out all the time.

9. I get up early when I want and how often I want, which actually is earlier than most moos, or earlier when moos have the choice. But it is MY choice not because of some brat.

10. I like to exercise....as often as I can...sometimes every day.

11. I eat healthy foods and usually don't buy crap.

12. I like to have many opprotunities to have sex, loud sex. W/o having to make a "date" w/ the hubby.

13. I like knowing that if I want to quit my job tomorrow and start taking classes or something so I could educate myself to do something else I could. I don't have to wait for sproggy to grow up.

14. If I want to lay on the couch all day and accomplish nada on the weekends, I could. I never would have to fear the next call for "mooommmmieeee, I need youuuuu".

I could go on and on, but I will give you guys a break. We all know we were the smart ones and dodged the babbyee bullet

I heard the most rediculous thing the other day. I got engaged a month ago so the BINGOING begins! At work I get asked constantly "when's the baaaaby? when's the baaaaaaaby?" I made it very clear that we are not having ANY, EVER. So of course everyone looks at me like I am not normal. I give all these reasons. I have a pretty decent comeback for every BINGO. When they ran out of reasons to tell me why I need to have a baby I hear. "DON'T YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOUR BABY WOULD LOOK LIKE?" I nearly fell over. So I say, well do you want it if I don't like what I see?

Congratulations on your engagement, Sonja! Too bad you get bingoed. So, when's the baby? Just kidding!

My reasons are exactly the same as yours to remain cf.

Later on today, I'll pick up my mother at work, and we'll go to the movies. It's so hot outside, that we'll hide in an AC movie theater. I'm just afraid to get bingoed again, like it happened last time I took her out, for mothers day. She'll be retired in 2 years and wants me to have a kid, because she'll be bored doing nothing all day. Hell no! She told me several times pregnant women were ugly. Why would I want to be ugly? I don't want to ruin my body. It's not perfect, but it's mine and I don't want it deformed by a worm growing inside of me and feeding off me. I like my tranquility and be able to do whatever I want, whenever I want. Now, I'm contemplating taking courses this fall. The choice is so vast! But I can do whatever I want, the sky is the limit, because I am cf!!! Hurray! I'm thrilled with my life the way it is, because I can make it what I want. If I had kids, all my education and dreams would get flushed down the toilet!

Mrs. Ogre


Good Luck with school ! I think the bottom line with being CF is the FREEDOM!! :beer

I am with you on many of the reasons, Sonia! I never felt the mothering instinct. As a little girl, I hated playing with baby dolls. Even now, I feel that baby dolls are such an insulting toy for female children because it basically teaches girls "their place" in life. Baby Alive was the big ta-do in the 1970's. The doll drank out of it's bottle and ate like a "real bay-beigh"...and it cr*pped it's diapers just a live infant. What an awful thing to give a child as a toy. It only reinforced how this was c*nt work that a woman must do once adulthood hit.

CF Uter, I agree about the freedom to enjoy sexuality. Regardless of the "experts" claiming that moo-wives must make "sex dates" with the hubbies to keep the marriage alive, I would tend to believe that this would kill any desire. Unfortunately, we all live on schedules and tight time due to work and other responsibilities regardless if a person is childfree or with children. Yet, making a sex date seems to me that there is very little priority with the relationship. Like it was mentioned in a thread re: affairs, sex and desire will wane from time to time. However, that is no excuse to not show affection or caring in another way.

I'm with Soniaj and cfuter on my reasons to be childfree. Iwouldn't want some parasite to ruin my figure, nor my life.

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lab mom

Baby Alive... I never had that one, but I had one called Chew Susie Chew, that came with red food. When it "pooped" it looked like it was bleeding out of it's ass. Nice...

Welcome, Sonja! I also agree that most of your reasons mirror mine. The pressure society puts on us to breed is insane. The phrase "to each their own" doesn't apply to breeding those babies.

well.. my reasons, may not be quite yours.. as i am a man,, but.. they are similar.

i hate chaos, i cant stand it if someone moves a book i am reading, maybe not losing my place, just it isnt in the right place.. and i get a little grumpy. i like eating the same meals each week, with a slight variation, at the same time.. with a leeway either side.. faust knows and she doesnt mind.

and i am big, and clumsy, my knees are pure scars, i got over a dozen scars all over my body some inches long, i have bad ankles, used to play heavy sports, but slipped on mud and broke them.. so they are weak, so a 6 foot tall 23 stone clumsy sod, around kids that could be squished like a toothpaste tube.. not a good idea.

and i dislike kids..95% of all kids i hate.. i dont have a fatherhood instinct, plus i would be an extremely bad father, i am laid back about rules.. i put things off till tomorrow, or next week..

i suffer from stress migraines, the more stress i am under the worse they are.. and i become a not very nice person.

so i want peace and quiet in my life, kids are the opposite.. they would destroy my mind, and i would be dangerous..

and money, and i dont want responsibility of looking after any one but my puppies and my faust.. i also suffer from insomnia, when i can sleep i sleep like the dead, but if i am woken up.. but other times i dont sleep, and i put music on loud or on headphones, go online or read i wouldnt be able to do that.. these are my reasons as a man

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I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

I like quiet, well-behaved children, but I've known since I was a child myself that children and motherhood just didn't interest me. It's also a lifestyle that I would never want. Spending long periods of time with babies and children is mind-numbing. I didn't spend 7 years in college and graduate school so that my brain could turn to mush. I don't want to live in a filthy, messy, noisy, chaotic house. I like my solitude. I like having nice things-the kind of things that children ruin. I will never ruin my life by having a baby.

You wouldn't believe how much I hated baby dolls. My parents would just hint or pretend to give me one for a birthday or x-mas and I would become red with rage at the mere thought of being given one. I found it insulting and I was just 4 or 5. I prefered to play with barbies (which were by the way always having sex with each other!) ha ha ha! Even as a child, I knew there were far more interesting things to do than to take care of an infant.

Mrs. Ogre, I had a best friend as a child who could not get over me not wanting to play with dolls. We had a falling out in our late teens. The girl told another friend that she wanted to tamper with my birth control pills so I would get pregnant. Nice, huh? People always want to put a childfree woman in her place because somehow they feel threatened.

Years later in 1991, my old friend and I met up again when her husband - a Navy man - was transferred back to the Bay Area. The first thing she asked was why I never changed my mind about those babies and was shocked about my tubal. Her mom is a really cool person and told her daughter that motherhood is not for every woman. We drifted apart again because there was really nothing left after talking about the past.

I agree regarding the dolls. My mom, a very cool woman, hated getting dolls when she was a girl (the lone exception-the geisha doll her brother brought her back from his tour in Vietnam. She was in her early twenties at the time, and has always been into textile arts-this doll has a gorgeous handmade kimono, and she keeps it in her sewing room to this day). Anyway, she always gave me stuffed animals and books when I was growing up-probably the reason why I love my pets and reading now! My grandmother couldn't stand this, and would often give me dolls for presents. My response-I gave each and every one of them blue mohawks (hey, it was the 80's!)

I agree with all the reasons listed for remaining childfree. I'm planning on going to culinary school within a year to become a pastry chef-something I know I couldn't do if I had kids. Making deserts is the one traditional 'female' activity I enjoy, and it isn't to feed and nourish kids-it's because I love the creative process, and it destresses me-I can honestly say I never use cake mixes or other convience products-I know that would end if I were to have kids. Who has time to make a perfect custard or bake a flourless cake from scratch when kids are screaming for Jello? The hubby and I are going to London and Dublin for a week in October-another thing that isn't child friendly (well, at least the trip we're planning!) Bottom line, I enjoy my freedom, and I'm not willing to give that up.

I enjoy my freedom, too.

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lab mom

My reasons are very similiar to merc's (especially the insomnia part.) One exception however is that if I was a father (which I won't be), I would be too authoritarian instead of too laid back. I would find everything wrong with what the brat did, and never recognize the good things he or she did. That's no way to raise even a bratling.

I agree with everyone's reasons. But one of my major reasons is that I am rather squeamish (is that the word?), i.e. not good with bodily functions and stuff. So the morning sickness alone would probably kill me. If not that, then the labor would. And if not THAT, then the dirty diapers and puke and snot... urgh!!! I can barely keep from gagging when I pick up my furry little ones' hairballs, so yeah - forget about a baybee.

I agree with all of the reasons above and would like to add that I love to travel the world when I was single and now with DH. If I had brats in my life I would not be able to have the money and freedom to travel. Travelling is very expensive, even if it's doemestic so DH and my priority is to see the world. I once had someone comment that we can still travel with kids but choose Disney World as a destination. NO THANKS! Travelling with any damn kid would never be a vacation. Plus I like to take language courses here and there and noticed that the majority if not almost all of my fellow class-mates are CF!! I would never be able to improve on my foreign language skills if I had brats leeching on me.

i wont be a dad, definatly, but it would be too laid back or lazy to set boundaries.. and if i dint i would probably scream and shout or lurk at that kid.

*********************************************************************************************************************************
I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

I just don't want 'em, but that statement doesn't seem to be enough to shut people who ask the question "Why don't you want kids?" these days.

My reasons can be summed up thus, with the advantage that it isn't restricted only to children.

"I don't like noisy, illiterate people."

Cristabel

Perhaps the biggest reasons for me are: the noise and the mess. I have always been a fairly solitary person--I do like to go out with friends but NEED a quiet sanctuary to return to. Also, while I am not a neat freak by any stretch of the imagination, I am big on personal hygiene and abhor anything to do with other people's bodily fluids. My apartment may be strewn with papers and books, but it smells good and you won't find a sticky surface in the place!

Medusa Wrote:
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> I agree with everyone's reasons. But one of my
> major reasons is that I am rather squeamish (is
> that the word?), i.e. not good with bodily
> functions and stuff. So the morning sickness alone
> would probably kill me. If not that, then the
> labor would. And if not THAT, then the dirty
> diapers and puke and snot... urgh!!! I can barely
> keep from gagging when I pick up my furry little
> ones' hairballs, so yeah - forget about a baybee.


Same here.

Another reason that sealed it for me after awhile, even tho I knew from an early age that I was CF.....


It was just mentioned on CFEZ: Once a couple sprogs....a spouse no longer keeps a picture of the spouse on his/her desk, it is only pics of sproggy. I noticed this when I started working in an office in my early 20s. This is especially true of duhds. It is like the spouse no longer matters. This must be a subtle indication of how they feel after sprogging. They might not even be aware, but I always noticed this.

It was just another justification for me of how sproggin' really ruins your life and your marriage and CF is the better choice. I really don't know how others don't realize this and miss this and just think about havin' brats all the time.