Tips for BIZZY MAWMS

Can you imagine that today's BIZZY MAWMS actually have to be *TOLD* this stuff? Hasn't anyone heard of common sense?????

http://lifestyle.msn.com/familyandparenting/babyandpregnancy/articlebc.aspx?cp-documentid=6076769&ocid=B005MSN40A0313A

Mother of Goddess...so the stupid twats cannot even manage to do a few common-sense things like those? They have shit out their brains with the placenta.

I wonder what is next for these dimbulbs? Stickers on diapers to remind them to change them when their brats stink?

WTF? Really?

Here's another list that should be just as helpful...
1. Wash yourself
2. Wipe your ass
3. Brush your hair or wear a hat
4. Wear clothes
5. Plan for stuff
6. Eat food

"It truly is the one commonality that every designation of humans you can think of has, there's at least one asshole."
--Me

Here's the best tip of all that I'd like to add:

1. AVOID PREGNANCY AT ALL COSTS THEN YOUR LIFE WILL BE MISERY FREE AND YOU WILL HAVE TIME TO DO WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT TO DO!

LOL

"7. Stop wasting time looking for things you use often, like scissors, reading glasses, or baby wipes. Stock up and keep duplicates in the rooms where you spend the most time."

But don't actually BUY that stuff, beg for it on Freecycle!

"18. Limit personal e-mail and computer time to twice a day."

Pshaw. The author(s) probably spent hours at the computer writing this friggin' article while their kids whined and threw toys around.

"20. Hire a babysitter for a couple of hours on the weekend so you can tackle household duties and errands without kids in tow."

But they CAAAAAAAN'T! Doncha know that babysitters cost money! And also leaving your kyd with a Stranger is BAAAAAAAD! (And whatever happened to Duh? Why can't he watch the brats while you run errands?)

"24. Stop by the post office before 3 p.m. on weekdays, when the long lines usually begin to form, so you can get in and out more efficiently."

In which magical fairyland/rural hellhole do YOU live, pray tell? I'd love to see a P.O. that doesn't have a line out the door by 11 am.

"42. E-mail your thank-you notes instead of sending a card."

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't substituting an email for a handwritten card considered the height of tackiness by etiquette sticklers?

"20. Hire a babysitter for a couple of hours on the weekend so you can tackle household duties and errands without kids in tow."
Is every fucking household single parent now? If you have a partner with whom you made your fucking hellspawn with, can't your goddamend partner take care of the stupid monsters for 2 hours? If they're so irresponsible or evil that you can't trust them to, WHY DID YOU HAVE KIDS WITH THEM?

This article is just one big pile of stupid. Either they're common sense things people should know already, or it's dumbass bullshit like "open your mail by the garbage so you don't spend precious seconds walking to the garbage to throw out the mail you don't want" or "buy a high power hair dryer so you spend less time drying your hair"...here's a clue by four, if you have to open your mail by the garbage to save precious seconds, why the hell are you spending your time drying your hair? Guess what?! Water evaporates!!!

"It truly is the one commonality that every designation of humans you can think of has, there's at least one asshole."
--Me

Yes, I loved this one also:

"42. E-mail your thank-you notes instead of sending a card."

As if breeders need any more encouragement, help, or ideas to be TACKY and show their lack of manners.

LOL and to answer your question, Feh on #20, the reason wifey is alone with the kids is because hubby/duh is out having an affair with the office hottie.

Who wouldn't be having an affair on a woman so stupid she has to be told to stand by the garbage while opening mail? LMAO!!!!!!!!

And remember, the reason breeders don't recycle their junk mail like everyone else has to, is because they are JUST SOOOOOOO BIZZY.

Holy shit! Funny how our Moms probably knew how to do all that without MSM.com telling them. What did people do before the Internets came along?:kill

How about some more tips?

1. Uh-oh! Lice going around school again? Shave your kyds' heads!
2. For quick and easy birth control, sleep with your feet in a ten-gallon pot. CAUTION: Do not substitute two five-gallon ones.
3. Put a bucket of crap on the dining room table to keep flies off the food.

Could I maybe get a job writing these lists for websites? Damn, nice work if you can get it!

"20. Hire a babysitter for a couple of hours on the weekend so you can tackle household duties and errands without kids in tow."

That is fucking ridulous. ITA about having the sperm donor watch them but there is also the point that the kids should be helping to clean the house.

Most SAH MAWMS today have their priorities all fucked up: they seem to think their sole existence is being a 24/7 entertainment center for their brats.

My mom stayed home with us until the youngest was 8. She and my dad shared a car and she probably had 1/10th the disposable income most of these idiot Moos have. Not to mention, no convience items like disposable diapers (don't blame me for the landfills) frozen dinners, DVDs and the electronic babysitter. Her job was to be a "homemaker" and to use the dollars my dad brought home efficiently. Dinner was ready every night he came home and the house was picked up because we were expected to help out.

She operated on a schedule. We were expected to go along on the errands to each of the stores while she shopped and there was HELL TO PAY if we acted up. Similarly, we knew better than to tell my mom we were "bored" because we would get another household chore. The end result is that we learned to ENTERTAIN OURSELVES and USE OUR IMAGINATION. She didn't hover over us every minute and wipe our butts when we were age 8. We would have been mortified because it was a social faux pas to be seen as babish.

The funny thing is, until my dad died, I remember my childhood as good. We had stability and structure. We went to the library and got books to amuse ourselves. My parents also had adult parties and we were certainly not a part of these parties. They had a good marriage, hobbies and a social life.

Most MAWMS today have no hobbies, other than competing in the "I'm a Better Mommy Than You Because I Sacrifice More For My Chyyyyld Than You" Olympics.

So Glad I opted out of that mess.

if i woke up one day and found my life consisted of things like 'homework boxes' or cooking for the entire week and swapping meals with friends or opening the mail next to the bin.. and if i found i needed to "Splurge on a super fast-drying hair dryer and cut hair-drying time in half".. i would assume i had woken up with half my brain missing and promptly crawl into a long bath with my super-fast hair-dryer and end it.

of course i can see why they hate us.

here's to freedom!

Oh my god. even better.. advice from this list:

"If you're on the fence, say no"

my advice.. "If you're on the fence about children, say no" JUST SAY NO. there would be a HELL of a lot less kyds running around.. THATS for sure..