So, I guess your mate is just sh*t on the end of a stick?

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Puke
When it comes down to it, family is the most important thing in your life, they are the ones that will always be there for you, especially during the bad spells in life. Talking on the phone with your Mom or texting her every day does not mean you are not independent. It appears to me that she raised you to be a self sufficient, responsible adult and that was her job as a parent so she did her job well. She obviously instilled some good things in you to help you get through life on your own, again, that was her job as a parent and she did a good job. You should be proud of the job she did with you.

I just don't understand your reluctance to talk to your mother several times a week. What is that going to cost you? Just a little time.... and while you may not see it now, a few minutes a week on the phone with her is a small investment in your future. If you got sick or injured where you couldn't take care of yourself, your Mom would be right there to help and to be by your side. You never know what life will throw at you and I'd be very careful about burning those bridges with her.

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nokids4me
Ah, forced forgiveness, gotta love it when they pull that. And they conveniently overlook that forgiveness also entails admitting a wrong and making amends. Then, maybe one can be forgiven.quote]



That's how I feel about it too, but the Baptist church that I was raised in seems to think that a person should forgive EVERYONE for EVERYTHING, regardless if they have apologized or if they even don't seem sorry. Many people I know are from the school of thought that forgiveness is something that comes from within rather than from any external factors, like an apology or admission of guilt or attempt at amends.I am just not buying that, even though many of them claim that it makes YOU feel better to forgive and even if it's something that you have to work at and FORCE! I am not capable of doing that and when people(mainly fundies) stand up in public and say that they "forgive" the MONSTOR who murdered their loved one, even when the murderer is still laughing about it, making jokes about how they begged for their lives, and is expressing NO remorse, I don't believe them. I think it's a show they put on in hopes that it will get them closer to The Promised Land or something.

There was this fundie woman on some documentary who did JUST that on the witness stand. This bastard had forced open the door to their home, beat, raped, stabbed, and strangled her nearly to death, but that was after she watched him beat her father to death as he begged for his daughter's life! Not only did she claim that she "forgave him", she made a HUGE plea for him not to get the death penalty because it was against her religion. She was found in contempt of court because she would NOT abide by the judge's orders to NOT mention her feelings about the death penalty in her victim impact statement. Sorry, that woman is an IDIOT and I don't believe that she could have really "forgiven" that monstor.

How can people say they forgive someone under those circumstances?I don't think that true forgiveness can be forced or coerced, but instead that it just has to happen on it's own and under the right circumstances. IMHO.

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

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When it comes down to it, family is the most important thing in your life, they are the ones that will always be there for you, especially during the bad spells in life.

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Don't take for granted that all mother/daughter relationships are healthy and positive ones. The author of the blog Narcissists Suck puts it very well in this blog entry about Mother's Day:

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Should you refuse to bequeath honors upon your narcissist mother on this High Holy Day you make yourself into a personification of ingratitude in the eyes of the ignorant.

I don't blame the ignorant for their ignorance on this matter. In fact, there is something kind of innocent and sweet about them. They had a mother who truly loved them. How can they conceptualize a mother who is the complete inverse of good motherhood? What precedent could they use to pattern your mother after? Only fictional ones. Which is why they think these mothers only live in fiction. Therefore, you are making it up. Only the children who have witnessed the evil mother behind closed doors...the only place where her true evil was on full display...can attest to the existence of the soul-sucking mother who actually hates her children. Don't despise the innocent folk who were blessed with loving mothers. In fact, try to shelter these innocents from the truth of your mother. They are not equipped to handle what you know. Spare them when possible. Your mother is the stuff of nightmares. Don't foist those nightmares on the innocent if you can avoid doing so.

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nokids4me
Ah, forced forgiveness, gotta love it when they pull that. And they conveniently overlook that forgiveness also entails admitting a wrong and making amends. Then, maybe one can be forgiven.

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nokids4me
Oh & I posted this over there about the "don't take your parents for granted"!! line. It specifies mother, but I think it applies to fathers too and I know some folks here have had to deal with this attitude from people who know fuck all about what really goes on with their families:

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Don't take for granted that all mother/daughter relationships are healthy and positive ones. The author of the blog Narcissists Suck puts it very well in this blog entry about Mother's Day:

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Should you refuse to bequeath honors upon your narcissist mother on this High Holy Day you make yourself into a personification of ingratitude in the eyes of the ignorant.

I don't blame the ignorant for their ignorance on this matter. In fact, there is something kind of innocent and sweet about them. They had a mother who truly loved them. How can they conceptualize a mother who is the complete inverse of good motherhood? What precedent could they use to pattern your mother after? Only fictional ones. Which is why they think these mothers only live in fiction. Therefore, you are making it up. Only the children who have witnessed the evil mother behind closed doors...the only place where her true evil was on full display...can attest to the existence of the soul-sucking mother who actually hates her children. Don't despise the innocent folk who were blessed with loving mothers. In fact, try to shelter these innocents from the truth of your mother. They are not equipped to handle what you know. Spare them when possible. Your mother is the stuff of nightmares. Don't foist those nightmares on the innocent if you can avoid doing so.