Not sure Amy's advice will fly in this situation :cool

The advice seeker will be damned either way. Be nice and almost certainly get rebuffed, or be a curmudgeon and accused of abusing the kids by hollering at them.

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Dear Amy: We have lived in our home on a very large lot for almost 20 years, but a neighbor with two young children may drive us out. Their daughters (ages 4 and 7) continuously scream while playing in their backyard. I’m talking about five to 10 screams a minute, constantly.

One set of neighbors has bark-

ing dogs and others a “garage band,” but they are considerate of others.

The neighbors with the screaming girls think this behavior is normal. They told me, “Oh, the girls are just playing.” This has gotten to the point where we have almost stopped using our porch.

One neighbor has stopped using their patio for cookouts, and my wife has totally stopped painting (her hobby), because of the noise.

The obvious next step is to try the more direct approach, but I don’t want to start a feud. I’m not sure they’ll even understand.

Is there a better way to open their eyes to this issue before we go nuts or start a neighborhood feud? Help! — Ready to Scream in Virginia

Dear Ready: Your lives now revolve around the play schedule of pint-size screamers. Silly, isn’t it?

You seem to think that any conversation about this will devolve into a “feud,” but you could prove your neighborliness by being honest. You say to the parents, “We should have mentioned this earlier, but the girls’ screaming is driving us crazy. Normally when we hear blood-curdling screams, we call 911. Can you ask them to stop screaming so loudly when they play?” You can also speak directly to the girls if they’re outside.

Where I come from, a neighbor driven to distraction can stand on the back porch and yell, “Hey, girls! Pipe down!” I suggest you try it.

She should call CPS and tell them, in her best 'concerned' voice, that there are children screaming constantly and you're afraid they're being abused.

If this were me, I'd go and stand on the lawn right where our properties join, and just stare at these little shits...eventually their parents would think I was a gawking pedophile and not let them play in the yard anymore.

I would buy a bunch of pit bulls and let them roam around in the backyard on leashes that extends just to the edge of my property. When the little girls go out and start screaming the dogs will either bark or run at their yard and scare the shits silent. If the parents comment, I'd tell them that I wasn't hurting anyone, and my dogs have just as much right to run around barking as their children have to run around screaming.

But one of the stupid brats might be "brave" enough to approach one of the dogs and have her face bitten off. And of course it would be my fault even though they'd be restrained and in MY yard.

I like Mulva's idea

I had the same problem with noisy neighbors when I lived in a suburban neighborhood and they eventually (over a ten year period) drove me to the edge of a breakdown. Talking to them didn't work, phone calls at the height of the noise worked for only an hour at the time, dirty looks didn't work, new insulated doors-windows didn't work, ear plugs didn't work, calling the police didn't pan out, etc................I became a prisoner in my own home and had to constantly alter when I worked in order to catch some sleep depending on THEIR schedules and which ones had the step-half kids "visiting" at certain times when the noise was worse. I had to play musical beds and move around to different rooms throughout the night depending on which neighbor had let their kennel of barking dogs out at which hours and I often just slept on the couch at my office.

I became sleep deprived and borderline psychotic over it. The incessant barking, screaming kids, the DROVES of kyds up and down my lawn and using my driveway as a fifty yard line with as many as TWENTY neighbor kyds and their "visitors" in, on, and around my property at any given time screaming and hollering was maddening. My final solution was to relocate to a remote and rural area, which has it's own sets of problems, but none NEARLY as life altering as noisy neighbors with their barking dogs and screaming kyds. There's really only three permanent solutions to end the noise forever. 1)Go on a killing spree and wind up on death row 2)Suicide or 3)Uproot yourself and leave life as you have always known it and MOVE to a remote and secluded area.

These people claim to NOT hear their own noise and they blame the complaining neighbor(s) for being picky, hateful, child haters, dog haters, etc...............They told me repeatedly that they just DO NOT hear the noise and that they were sorry, but then they NEVER did anything about it. One time I asked one of the little boys WHY they didn't play in their own back yard. He said, "That's where mama's bedroom is and she doesn't want us waking her up when she takes her naps". Once I heard that, I was ABSOLUTELY CONVINCED that they DO hear it, but they simply do NOT care that it disturbs other people. It was shortly after that when I realized that my ONLY OPTION was to move.:sbx

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

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kidlesskim
One time I asked one of the little boys WHY they didn't play in their own back yard. He said, "That's where mama's bedroom is and she doesn't want us waking her up when she takes her naps". Once I heard that, I was ABSOLUTELY CONVINCED that they DO hear it, but they simply do NOT care that it disturbs other people.

I've dealt with shit like that over the years, although not quite as bad as what you went through. When we lived in Oregon, we had the neighbors from HELL across the street. They had two little kids, but that wasn't the problem. These people constantly had THE loudest parties you could imagine. Their stereo, even in winter when everyone's windows are closed, was so loud it shook OUR house. I can't fathom how loud it was inside the house. It got so bad that we resorted to hanging out in a back bedroom that we'd been using as an office because the living room was on the front of the house.

The street was very narrow, so even though they were across the street, it felt like they were right on top of us. My hub was in grad school for part of the time, and one Saturday he was trying to study. Mr. Asshole was out BLARING his stereo and getting ready to take his boat to the lake. Hub couldn't take it anymore and went over and asked him to turn it down. Naturally, he got bitched out for daring to interrupt Asshole's fun time. He barked "Come on, it's SATURDAY! If you don't like it, you should move to the country!"

WHY do these people always think anyone who doesn't want to put up with their bullshit should be the ones to move? Why don't THEY move to a remote area?!?

As for the kids with the lame excuses, one time in this house I heard a racket out front. I looked out the window and saw some kids rollerblading on our driveway, which is sloped. Pissed, I went out and asked them why they weren't skating in their own driveway. One stupid kid said "We don't have a driveway." EVERY house in this 'hood has AT LEAST a 2-car garage, but since a lot of the breeders' garages are stuffed with crap, they have to park their cars in the driveway. (How convenient for limiting their own spawns' play area and passive-aggressively pushing them into the street and beyond.) I called him on it and told them all to get lost and skate in their OWN driveways. I'd bet money their parunts chased them off to "go play down there" so that they didn't have to hear the noise of their own fucking brats! :flaming

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shauna's like a gluten-free Jim Jones for dumb, lifeless middle-aged women. I swear, this bitch could set fire to a orphanage and they would applaud her for bringing them light. ~ Miss Hannigan

CrabCake quote:
"As for the kids with the lame excuses, one time in this house I heard a racket out front. I looked out the window and saw some kids rollerblading on our driveway, which is sloped. Pissed, I went out and asked them why they weren't skating in their own driveway. One stupid kid said "We don't have a driveway." EVERY house in this 'hood has AT LEAST a 2-car garage, but since a lot of the breeders' garages are stuffed with crap, they have to park their cars in the driveway. (How convenient for limiting their own spawns' play area and passive-aggressively pushing them into the street and beyond.) I called him on it and told them all to get lost and skate in their OWN driveways. I'd bet money their parunts chased them off to "go play down there" so that they didn't have to hear the noise of their own fucking brats! ..."



I'd wager MY LIFE on it that this is what took place! Over the course of those ten years, I spoke directly to the kyds on many occasions asking them WHY they were playing in my yard, in front of my house and on my sidewalk area, walking their dogs on MY lawn, etc.............INSTEAD of their own. Below are some of the responses that I recall with the most candid coming from the kindergarten aged kyds who are usually the most honest:

1)Dad says that he doesn't want us waking up grandma
2)Dad says that the balls can't break out our windows anymore or we get in trouble
3)Mom says that we get too loud when we are in the backyard
4)Mom doesn't want us knocking over her plants on the patio
5)There's too much dog poop in our back yard to play
6)Our yard has too much junk back there and dad says it's not safe
7)My sister's boyfriend has to park in our driveway when he visits and won't let us play near his car cuz we always scratch it
8)Mom and dad are sitting back there on the patio and want to be alone
9)My parents have company over and don't want us bothering them
10)My brother is trying to study
11)Dad doesn't want dog poop in our front yard
12)My mom is watching her soaps and doesn't want us making noise because she can't hear TV.
13)My mom says that we squeal too much and it gives her a migraine
14)Dad just cut our grass and doesn't want it messed up
15)Your driveway-carport is cleaner
16)There's too many cracks on ours from the skateboard ramp and yours is smoother
17)Mom doesn't want us tearing up her flower beds when balls go in there
18)The dogs bark too much when they get put out in our enclosed patio and mama can't hear herself think
19)The man across the street said that he was calling the police if we came back over there
20)The lady behind us won't give us our balls back

Basically, THEY don't want the kyds doing EXACTLY what ******I****** don't want them doing on MY property! However, they absolutely will NOT admit it and habitually "blame the victim" which makes the whole damned thing even MORE frustrating! It's been over five years since I moved and it STILL pisses me off just thinking about the sheer injustice of it all and it GALLS me that it's still happening to other people too.:sbx If I EVER become ridiculously wealthy, then I am going to create a nonprofit security company that operates within each jurisdictional laws across the nation and offer FREE services to neighbors of people who are assholes. It will be their PRIME OBJECTIVE to monitor this type of shit TWENTY FOUR HOURS A DAY and knock on their doors in the middle of the night to insist that they STFU or shut their kyds or dogs up. They will have decibel detectors and when their noise goes ONE dot over it, then the police will be called on a REGULAR basis and complaints will be filed on behalf of the innocent neighbors.

They will be the "Shitty Neighbor" police and they will be relentless in the pursuit of peace, quiet, and happiness and will harrass the bastards within the law at every available opportunity UNTIL they conform. If they don't, then the "Shitty Neighbor" police will do some vigilante justice, within the law, and find out when THEY are asleep or otherwise wanting peace and it will be their JOB to wake them up and otherwise disturb them using any legal means necessary without disturbing the "innocent" people. I can think of 10 ways off the top of my head to disturb Mr. and Mrs. Shitty Neighbor without bothering anyone else and if I had some help back then, they wouldn't have had a MOMENT of peace. At the very least, they will UNDERSTAND how it feels to be a prisoner in their own homes.

Yes, I STILL hate them that much! At the time I had only been alive for 40 years, so for TWENTY FIVE PERCENT of my life, they disturbed me on a regular basis.

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

The only thing that will work in this situation is repeated anonymous phone calls to the CPS or the police. Talking to people like this does nothing.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________
"Not every ejaculation deserves a name" - George Carlin

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kidlesskim
Basically, THEY don't want the kyds doing EXACTLY what ******I****** don't want them doing on MY property! However, they absolutely will NOT admit it and habitually "blame the victim" which makes the whole damned thing even MORE frustrating!

Sing it! Our current annoying neighbors have done the following over 10 years:

1) Installed a touchy motion-sensor light on the side of their garage that shines right into our famblee room and to a lesser extent our bedroom just above it. I went over and knocked on their door and nicely explained the problem, which pissed me off because they MUST have realized the light would disturb us. Duddy went out and merely pointed the light further down, which helps, but is still irritating as hell because the thing trips any time it's windy, which around here is a lot!

2) Parked a HUGE utility trailer on that same side of their garage, in full view of our famblee room where we spend most of the time. Not only did the trailer hang over onto OUR property, as DH predicted, Duddy wasn't about to move the thing every time he mowed, so tall grass and weeds started growing under and around it. My mild-mannered DH blew his top and stormed over there and told Duddy that if he didn't move the trailer, we would be putting up a fence.

3) Installed a wood-burning stove in their garage, with the exhaust pipe going out the SIDE of the garage (see a theme here?), again right off our patio and famblee room. Every time they fire it up, the smell of smoke INSIDE our house is choking. I am this close to calling the Code Enforcement department at the city, because there is no way in HELL that is legal.

4) Constantly let their kids wander into our yard, without asking our permission, to fetch their toys that fly over the fence. The last time this happened I yelled out the open slider, "Go back to your own yard!!" Ever since then, the breeders have been even chillier to us than before. LIKE WE ARE THE ONES WHO ARE THE PROBLEM.

5) Put up a trampoline in the far corner of THEIR backyard, so that when the yard apes are jumping in it, the screams come right down into OUR house, and since the thing is on a slope, they can clearly see into the whole back of our house. I do NOT want to close all the drapes and blinds in the summertime, either!

Fuck these kind of inconsiderate, selfish asshole neighbors!!

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If I EVER become ridiculously wealthy, then I am going to create a nonprofit security company that operates within each jurisdictional laws across the nation and offer FREE services to neighbors of people who are assholes. It will be their PRIME OBJECTIVE to monitor this type of shit TWENTY FOUR HOURS A DAY and knock on their doors in the middle of the night to insist that they STFU or shut their kyds or dogs up. They will have decibel detectors and when their noise goes ONE dot over it, then the police will be called on a REGULAR basis and complaints will be filed on behalf of the innocent neighbors.bouncing

They will be the "Shitty Neighbor" police and they will be relentless in the pursuit of peace, quiet, and happiness and will harrass the bastards within the law at every available opportunity UNTIL they conform. If they don't, then the "Shitty Neighbor" police will do some vigilante justice, within the law, and find out when THEY are asleep or otherwise wanting peace and it will be their JOB to wake them up and otherwise disturb them using any legal means necessary without disturbing the "innocent" people. I can think of 10 ways off the top of my head to disturb Mr. and Mrs. Shitty Neighbor without bothering anyone else and if I had some help back then, they wouldn't have had a MOMENT of peace. At the very least, they will UNDERSTAND how it feels to be a prisoner in their own homes.

larious Can I work for your company and be one of the Shitty Neighbor cops?? It would be SO much fun!! smile

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shauna's like a gluten-free Jim Jones for dumb, lifeless middle-aged women. I swear, this bitch could set fire to a orphanage and they would applaud her for bringing them light. ~ Miss Hannigan

I moved out to the country, and never been happier. The hell with inconsiderate breeders being close by as neighbors.

---

lab mom

Gawd, if I don't want to sit next to them in restaurants or on a plane, why the fuck would I want to LIVE next to them?? UGH!

There needs to be childfree housing developments.

Of course, if breeders have their way, the whole planet will be too fucking full for anyone to live in remote areas. We will have no choice but to live in close quarters, where civility is essential to retain sanity. Expect various "x rage" terms to crop up, to add to "road rage" and the like. It seems like we're already dangerously close to "airplane rage" and "restaurant rage".

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yurble
Of course, if breeders have their way, the whole planet will be too fucking full for anyone to live in remote areas. We will have no choice but to live in close quarters, where civility is essential to retain sanity. Expect various "x rage" terms to crop up, to add to "road rage" and the like. It seems like we're already dangerously close to "airplane rage" and "restaurant rage".

That's almost what I had to resort to in dealing with my noisy neighbors - and I do live in the country. Each house on my lane sits on ~5 acres. You know it's loud when people are spread that far apart but you still hear that f*cking "boom boom BOOM boom BOOM" music noise. Since we work nights and sleep days, that was my two hours early alarm: asshole kid across the road getting home from school, pulling into his drive and leaving his car music blaring for at least 30 minutes. I walked across and asked them nicely to stop, I left notes in their mailbox stating that they were disturbing the neighborhood, I called the police and was told "noise ordinances don't extend into the unincorporated areas, ma'am, but we'll ask them to keep it down". That lasted about 3 weeks before it started up with a vengeance. We moved from our master bedroom to a small room at the other end of the house, set up two white noise machines on our nightstands, ran the fan, and had a window AC unit in the summer. Dh claims to not hear it, but I did - loud 'n clear. I was like Kim and tempted to commit a heinous crime since warm weather had those bastards out in the yard after school, washing the car or hanging with friends - playing that loud, fucking noise.

I have since resorted to retaliation. I get home from work a little after 6am. Several times a week, I would pause my truck at the end of their driveway, roll down the windows, and turn up my radio. I back into my driveway to park, so I pointed the front of my truck toward their house and sat hitting the bright beams of my lights toward their bedrooms, I bought a honkin' big boom box, ran it out to the edge of our land with an extension cord, and blared bagpipe music toward their place, I no longer "shush" my dogs when they bark. I think they got the hint; the problem isn't as bad as it once was. Still, I'll be glad when we get moved. When we chose our new house (still in the country but on less acreage) I made sure to scope the neighborhood by visiting it several times at different times of the day. So far - quiet. We have our fingers crossed.

Crabcake: (and many others here as well) don't forget the friggin liability if one of the little shits took a tumble on your driveway and paralyzed itself. or worse.

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

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Dorisan

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yurble
Of course, if breeders have their way, the whole planet will be too fucking full for anyone to live in remote areas. We will have no choice but to live in close quarters, where civility is essential to retain sanity. Expect various "x rage" terms to crop up, to add to "road rage" and the like. It seems like we're already dangerously close to "airplane rage" and "restaurant rage".

That's almost what I had to resort to in dealing with my noisy neighbors - and I do live in the country. Each house on my lane sits on ~5 acres. You know it's loud when people are spread that far apart but you still hear that f*cking "boom boom BOOM boom BOOM" music noise. Since we work nights and sleep days, that was my two hours early alarm: asshole kid across the road getting home from school, pulling into his drive and leaving his car music blaring for at least 30 minutes. I walked across and asked them nicely to stop, I left notes in their mailbox stating that they were disturbing the neighborhood, I called the police and was told "noise ordinances don't extend into the unincorporated areas, ma'am, but we'll ask them to keep it down". That lasted about 3 weeks before it started up with a vengeance. We moved from our master bedroom to a small room at the other end of the house, set up two white noise machines on our nightstands, ran the fan, and had a window AC unit in the summer. Dh claims to not hear it, but I did - loud 'n clear. I was like Kim and tempted to commit a heinous crime since warm weather had those bastards out in the yard after school, washing the car or hanging with friends - playing that loud, fucking noise.

I have since resorted to retaliation. I get home from work a little after 6am. Several times a week, I would pause my truck at the end of their driveway, roll down the windows, and turn up my radio. I back into my driveway to park, so I pointed the front of my truck toward their house and sat hitting the bright beams of my lights toward their bedrooms, I bought a honkin' big boom box, ran it out to the edge of our land with an extension cord, and blared bagpipe music toward their place, I no longer "shush" my dogs when they bark. I think they got the hint; the problem isn't as bad as it once was. Still, I'll be glad when we get moved. When we chose our new house (still in the country but on less acreage) I made sure to scope the neighborhood by visiting it several times at different times of the day. So far - quiet. We have our fingers crossed.

This brings to my mind ANOTHER gripe! I was IN the fucking REAL ESTATE business when I bought that fucking house and did EVERYTHING imaginable to check out that neighborhood beforehand including pulling the the tax records and prior sales of each and every neighbor on that street and the one behind it to see who they were. THEN, I made it my business to find out their ages to get a better idea of if they HAD brats already or were likely in the age group to spawn. I spoke to the agents who had sold the houses to ask if they had kids or GRAND kids who were "regulars", etc............ The average age in that subdivision was 55 and over 50% were retired. After my initial ground work was done, I took the time to drive around it during 8 AM and 3PM "school" hours to see if anybody was getting on busses and whatnot and a bus never even showed up in the vicinity. After I did that a few times, then I rode around the subdivision on Saturday and Sunday to see if there were any kyds who regularly stayed with meemaw and I NEVER saw a kyd or evidence of any.

Nearly immediately after moving in, the elderly lady next door went into a nursing home and UP went a for sale sign. Inside of 2 months, the Brady Bunch famblee moved in and it went downhill from there! I don't know HOW I could have been more thorough, but it STILL happened!

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

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kidlesskim
Nearly immediately after moving in, the elderly lady next door went into a nursing home and UP went a for sale sign. Inside of 2 months, the Brady Bunch famblee moved in and it went downhill from there! I don't know HOW I could have been more thorough, but it STILL happened!

This is like when you ask the hostess in a restaurant not to seat you near any parties with kids, and as soon as your food arrives, they seat a family with 3 brats under 5, one in a high-chair, right opposite you.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"

:eatu

See, it's bullshit like this that brings out a growing need to have strict child-free housing communities. It's so un-fucking-fair that famblees can live wherever the hell they want. I DO NOT want to wait until 55 to live in a retirement community.

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I know, I know. "You were one once." I was a sperm once, but you don't see me wantin' to cuddle up to a fuckin' wankstain, do you? - John Constantine

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SlumSlut

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kidlesskim
Nearly immediately after moving in, the elderly lady next door went into a nursing home and UP went a for sale sign. Inside of 2 months, the Brady Bunch famblee moved in and it went downhill from there! I don't know HOW I could have been more thorough, but it STILL happened!

This is like when you ask the hostess in a restaurant not to seat you near any parties with kids, and as soon as your food arrives, they seat a family with 3 brats under 5, one in a high-chair, right opposite you.

In the very few times that has happened to me and my husband, I ask the server to move us. I don't care if I come across like a bitch - ***I'M*** paying good money for a meal; I expect some fucking peace and quiet.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I know, I know. "You were one once." I was a sperm once, but you don't see me wantin' to cuddle up to a fuckin' wankstain, do you? - John Constantine

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CrabCake
3) Installed a wood-burning stove in their garage, with the exhaust pipe going out the SIDE of the garage (see a theme here?), again right off our patio and famblee room. Every time they fire it up, the smell of smoke INSIDE our house is choking. I am this close to calling the Code Enforcement department at the city, because there is no way in HELL that is legal.

Call them. It's no where near legal. BF used to do fire inspections as well as code enforcement. It's extremely illegal. Call call call call!!!!!

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CrabCake
5) Put up a trampoline in the far corner of THEIR backyard, so that when the yard apes are jumping in it, the screams come right down into OUR house, and since the thing is on a slope, they can clearly see into the whole back of our house. I do NOT want to close all the drapes and blinds in the summertime, either!

Walk around naked. Have sex in full view.

PUT UP A FENCE. Then the yard apes can't just walk in. Get a wood chipper, shred their toys in it with the discharge chute pointing into their yard.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What is a home without children? Quiet. ~Henny Youngman

I don't want people who want to dance, I want people who have to dance. ~George Balanchine

"I took the batteries out of my biological clock and put them in my vibrator"

Can this person videotape the children and post it, or record them and play it back really loudly? That might work. Otherwise, mulva's idea gets a thumbs-up from me. wink

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ShimmyMuse
Can this person videotape the children and post it, or record them and play it back really loudly? That might work. Otherwise, mulva's idea gets a thumbs-up from me. wink

And me.

---

lab mom

You can always get cameras for your yard. I bought a refurbished 933mhz PC from a local used computer shop, installed a second hard drive for the video, and made it my camera PC. The system I have takes pictures and emails them to me at work. It can also be set up so I can log in from work, but I haven't done that yet. Using that system, you'll have plenty of time/date stamped pictures of them in your yard. You can also set it to continuously record.

It's made by this company: http://www.swann.co.au, and is sold on Amazon.

JD

Brings to mind the breeders across the street from me. We all have on street parking on the blocks around my house, but a few houses have parking spots behind their houses in the alleys. No one can legally lay claim to any of the on street parking, but as a common courtesy, we all park in front of our own freaking houses. Neighbors don't park their vehicles in the spots other neighbors have been parking in for years. Besides, why would you want to park in front of my house? Why don't you go park in front of your house and haul your groceries in?
Anyhow back to the breeders: Dud is a public school teacher, and Moo's life consists of nothing more than a breeding dog in a cage. Pop one out, get knocked up again, repeat. Dud comes and goes with the older kids (oldest about ten) at all hours of the night. He used to park the minivan in front of my house whenever he could get away with it, even though he has about the only house in sight that actually had a driveway in the front of their house. I could not comprehend why they would want to park in front of my house and carry their bags across the street to their house.
I resorted to putting out parking chairs anytime I thought the idiots would try to take my space. Then I would think I was safe, and forego the chairs, come home, and BAM! Minivan in front of my house, their driveway wide open, I presume so their chyldrun would have a place to screeaamm and add to the noise pollution.
I was talking to their neighbor at one point, and he said he was excavating a parking spot in his backyard, right along the breeders' property line. He said he offered to go ahead and excavate enough room on their side for a parking space or two, but they turned him down. He restated that it wouldn't cost any more than just doing his, but they still selfishly refused to keep their cars on their own property.
Then, this summer, the weirdo breeders went out and bought an eleven passenger cargo van....I immediately threw up when I realized it wasn't just a weekend rental to take a vacation in...it was to be a permanent fixture on our block. A big, white, boxy, fuel inefficient, eleven passenger cargo van -- to haul their chyldrun around in.
So I doubled my vigilance with the parking chairs. I didn't want to see that thing in front of my house! Then I realized all of them, including the infants and toddlers, were carrying around the latest mobile devices and constantly using them, even the Moo when she was trying to get the cargo van backed out of her driveway.
I realized when they were connecting on their devices, they would be picking up the name of my password connected Wi-Fi. So I named that connection: "StopParkingInFrontOfMyHouse"
Seemed to do the trick. I couldn't believe my good luck, I've not had to do the parking chair bit since, and they've respected the stretch in front of my house. I've already decided that if they stop respecting it, I'm going to name my Wi-Fi something incredibly nasty, vulgar and personal -- and hopefully one of them will come screaming "the chyldrunnn! the chyldrunnn can see that!" Then I'll just have to tell them to either give me what I want, or prepare their chyldruns to suffer!

Buy and use a Mosquito