Smacking should be the ‘first resort’:tu

Smacking should be the ‘first resort’

An Australian author has caused controversy by saying smacking children should be the first resort when it comes to discipline.

Queensland author Sue Edgerley says smacking is a far more effective method of instilling discipline in kids than endless lecturing.

In her book, 5Keys Parenting, the former childcare worker and mother of three says families should be run more like military units, where misbehaving children are punished, rather than reasoned with.

Is it time for a return to traditional parenting? Leave a comment below

Ms Edgerley says the move from ‘traditional’ parenting roles to a more modern style has failed, and that modern parenting is ‘an idealistic exercise gone wrong’.

"Many of the changes [in parenting style] have resulted in negative outcomes for parents, children and families as a whole", she says.

Ms Edgerly blames modern parenting for many of the difficulties our kids face today, saying it is to blame for childrens’ poor manners, lack of respect, sexualized behaviour and depression.

Discipline, she says, is the key to good parenting.

"Smacking allows parents to discipline calmly and consistently, vital components of good parenting. Unfortunately, most parents do not know how to do this anymore because of the constant preaching about the ill effects of smacking.”

The stance is sure to cause controversy as smacking becomes less popular for modern parents.

Radio presenter Niel Mitchell stood up for modern parenting techniques, saying physical discipline has no place in modern society.

He says the occasional smack is OK, but regular belting is not on, "It’s counter-productive. It’s old fashioned… It doesn’t work, it belongs in another age", he told Sunrise this morning.

Article.

The comments are kinda interesting...

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I know, I know. "You were one once." I was a sperm once, but you don't see me wantin' to cuddle up to a fuckin' wankstain, do you? - John Constantine

there is a thread about this on facebook in a group that i have joined. the comments on this thread (126 comments in two hours since it was posted - bizzy sahm alert!!) are incredible.

here are just a few:

"nope u not the only one as kids me and my brothers used to count to 3 and run real fast as soon as we heard the drawer open a few spoons got broken that didnt hurt because generally it was Nonna banging the spoon on the table that was always enuff to pull us up and stop us from doing what we were doing and when the spoon actually made contact it never hurt cause it was never hard enuff and still to this day ill b getting something out of the fridge or plugging an appliance in a look around for someone with the spoon ready LOL"


"all of my boys have had a smack on the butt and there bloody good kids i can take them anywhere and i always get compliments and thats because i am there mum they know i love them and you dont have to smack you kid every time we have tried the time out and the take something away that they like the go to your room its all bull you give them 3 warnings you tell them what they are doing wrong each time then if they keep it up you have to follow through now they are 7,9 and 14 and great kids to be around they dont need smacks now they know right from wrong and you have to teach them that from a very early age"

these people are parunts. makes my head hurt.

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bowie
there is a thread about this on facebook in a group that i have joined. the comments on this thread (126 comments in two hours since it was posted - bizzy sahm alert!!) are incredible.

here are just a few:

"nope u not the only one as kids me and my brothers used to count to 3 and run real fast as soon as we heard the drawer open a few spoons got broken that didnt hurt because generally it was Nonna banging the spoon on the table that was always enuff to pull us up and stop us from doing what we were doing and when the spoon actually made contact it never hurt cause it was never hard enuff and still to this day ill b getting something out of the fridge or plugging an appliance in a look around for someone with the spoon ready LOL"


"all of my boys have had a smack on the butt and there bloody good kids i can take them anywhere and i always get compliments and thats because i am there mum they know i love them and you dont have to smack you kid every time we have tried the time out and the take something away that they like the go to your room its all bull you give them 3 warnings you tell them what they are doing wrong each time then if they keep it up you have to follow through now they are 7,9 and 14 and great kids to be around they dont need smacks now they know right from wrong and you have to teach them that from a very early age"

these people are parunts. makes my head hurt.

Good gawd... These people need to go back to school. Fucking hell...

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I know, I know. "You were one once." I was a sperm once, but you don't see me wantin' to cuddle up to a fuckin' wankstain, do you? - John Constantine

I do NOT believe that a toddler can be reasoned with as he breaks free and runs out into oncoming traffic and that it's in his best interest to get yanked back and swacked on the ass in order to 1)Save his life at that moment and 2)To deter his doing it again. I also don't think that a 4 y/o will learn as quickly with gentle discipline chit chat, if for instance he thinks it's funny to punch his 9 month old brother in the stomach, as he would if he had his ass spanked for doing it. Attempting to stick a fork in kitty:ASS WHIPPING. Brandishing a knife at MeeMaw;ASS WHIPPING. Flushing moo's welfare check down the toilet;ASS WHIPPING. Throwing his dinner into the garbage can;ASS WHIPPING. Cramming duddy's cell phone into the garbage disposal;ASS WHIPPING. Setting his bedroom curtains on fire:ASS WHIPPING, just to give a few examples.

I do NOT believe that children need to be beaten or abused and there's a BIG difference in beating and spanking, IMO. When they get old enough to appreciate getting reasoned with then the only "reasoning" that needs to go on is their DEEP understanding and comprehension of CONSEQUENCES for ACTIONS. The sooner that they can be taught that for every action there's an opposite and equal reaction, the better off that they AND society will be. Our prisons our filled with abused kids, but they are also filled with kids who were never taught properly that there are consequences for their own actions. There should be a balance of discipline that is done out of love and concern rather than anger. THIS is what good parenting is about, NOT being a "friend" to the kyd. IMO. "Friends" discuss everything, but parents know when to discuss and when to JUST SAY NO! "Because I said so" needs to make a comeback and we'd ALL be better off for it.

I may not be correct in my opinion on this matter, but apparently whatever it is that breeders are doing in the past two decades regarding discipline is woefully lacking and is NOT working.

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

It doesn't help that various groups are trying to equate a spanking given without anger to violence against children.

Excuse me, but hitting a child Does hurt, in more ways than one. My "children" are 24 & 18 and they have utmost respect for their elders, and I would Never hit them. Encouragment and love go a lot further than an object to hit an innocent child with. If any of my son's teachers would have touched one hair on their head, they would be beat down by me, personally!

Irony. But someone else picked up on it before I could comment:

So Cherie, it is ok for you to be violent towards others or as you put it 'beat them down', but don't dare try to teach a child a lesson with a spank. Hmmmm, perfect logic. You are one of the reasons why teachers have out of control classrooms, maybe not from your children but from your attitude. I welcome teachers giving my kids a foot up the backside if they deserve it.

But then...

OK Ralf is it ok for someone to hit you..No it is classed as assault..Why do children have less rights than an adult..

Children DO have less rights than an adult. They can't drive, they can't vote, they can't drink or smoke or rent a car or a hotel room. People are idiots.

OK Ralf is it ok for someone to hit you..No it is classed as assault..Why do children have less rights than an adult..

Children have fewer rights than adults in some areas. They cannot vote, they cannot drive, and they cannot get married, to name a few. Children also have fewer responsibilities than adults: they don't have to support themselves, they don't have to file taxes, etc. Children also have more rights than adults in some areas: the right to be financially supported without being required to seek a job, free education, reduced criminal sentencing, having their offenses before the age of 18 sealed, and so on.

Children are not the same as adults. There's a reason the laws are different: children are not physically developed, nor are they mentally developed. They lack the ability to understand and reason the way an adult does, and are less able to control their impulses.

It's not like people are suggesting that you take a belt to the child and leave raw marks across its back. A spanking which is intended as a lesson is no worse than a stubbed toe in terms of intensity or duration of pain.

We had a mama cat, and whenever her kittens misbehaved, she swatted them with her paw.

If you can't even parent as well as a mother cat, you shouldn't have kyds.

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Yurble
Children have fewer rights than adults in some areas.

Don't I feel like an idiot now. :baybie1

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Christhead

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Yurble
Children have fewer rights than adults in some areas.

Don't I feel like an idiot now. :baybie1

I assumed that you were influenced by the post you were commenting on, and was trying to pick on just them, by only quoting them. Besides, one or two errors is unimportant. With breeders it's more a question of trying to find something correct. In just that short snippet there were punctuation errors and capitalization errors in addition to what I noted.

I'm in 100% agreement. To hell with this negotiating and time out bullshit. You give em a good smack on the ass and they'll stop doing whatever it is they're doing. My mum didn't mess around with all that other bullshit...wham! wham! wham...you can believe I quit misbehaving immediately.

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MerlynHerne
I'm in 100% agreement. To hell with this negotiating and time out bullshit. You give em a good smack on the ass and they'll stop doing whatever it is they're doing. My mum didn't mess around with all that other bullshit...wham! wham! wham...you can believe I quit misbehaving immediately.

I agree

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MerlynHerne
I'm in 100% agreement. To hell with this negotiating and time out bullshit. You give em a good smack on the ass and they'll stop doing whatever it is they're doing. My mum didn't mess around with all that other bullshit...wham! wham! wham...you can believe I quit misbehaving immediately.

No shit! When my mum brought out the large wooden spoon (or in some cases, she made me or my brother fetch it for her, lol), you can bet I stopped misbehaving immediately too. I wasn't stupid enough to run away like my brother did. We'd get a harder smack if we tried. LOL.

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I know, I know. "You were one once." I was a sperm once, but you don't see me wantin' to cuddle up to a fuckin' wankstain, do you? - John Constantine

I totally agree. There is no reasoning with children. You can talk to them until your blue in the face and then as soon as you turn your back, their off to whatever they were doing before.

I really can't take the "You should never hit a child, EVER" type folks. Their usually the ones that let their kids run around restaurants and stores.

Not every occasion warrants a smack but I'd say if the kid is not following orders or being blatantly disrespectful, then it's time for a little negative reinforcement. It actually does work. A smack will make a child think before he does something he knows is wrong, not a talk that he tunes out anyway.

I wonder if it isn't the smacking so much as the mentality change that allows for it that makes the difference. Having expectations of your children is the key, whether you spank them or not.

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ShimmyMuse
I wonder if it isn't the smacking so much as the mentality change that allows for it that makes the difference. Having expectations of your children is the key, whether you spank them or not.

I really think that it's mentality. I (very) ocasionally watch my nieces and nephews. I don't mind, as they live far away and we see eachother once a year. A couple of them are unruly hellions. But the little terrors are extremely well mannered, when it's just me and them.
I have never had to raise my voice at them. I only have to look at them and give an order. They will obey. They KNOW I have no fuzzy feelings for them and will not hesitate disciplining them.

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" ... what's one more once you've already got two shedding on the couch?"

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trekkie monster

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ShimmyMuse
I wonder if it isn't the smacking so much as the mentality change that allows for it that makes the difference. Having expectations of your children is the key, whether you spank them or not.

I really think that it's mentality. I (very) ocasionally watch my nieces and nephews. I don't mind, as they live far away and we see eachother once a year. A couple of them are unruly hellions. But the little terrors are extremely well mannered, when it's just me and them.
I have never had to raise my voice at them. I only have to look at them and give an order. They will obey. They KNOW I have no fuzzy feelings for them and will not hesitate disciplining them.

I COMPLETELY AGREE! wink


I have gotten the"You're SO good with kids!" commentary quite a bit throughout my life and it has NOTHING to do with doing shit like my childLESS sister does and by allowing myself to become a doormat! She gets down on the floor with them, lets them use her body as a Jungle Gym, cooks whatever they want and whenever they want it OR orders in Pizza or takes them to McDonalds upon command, lets them, "Aunt Kelly" her to death and interrupt her AND her phone conversations, she hangs on their every word, lets them win at games, etc......When it's Aunt Kim however, there is a STRICT "no climbing" policy as I can not and WILL NOT tolerate that nonsense! If I am better at the game, then ****I***** win! I will NOT be interrupted and although I will make or get things that they like to eat, I will NOT allow myself or the kitchen to be like the fucking Waffle House!

Consequently, I am the favored aunt, although that was never my intention, and it DRIVES my childLESS sister crazy! Some people command respect and I consider myself among those, especially when it comes to kids. I don't have to yell or be ugly either because I have been told that I have, "the look". Kyds can sniff out a pushover a MILE away and personally, I don't think that they like a milquetoast adult. I know that I never liked adults like that when I was a kyd. Adults should be in charge and when they are not, it's their own damned faults.

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!