1872 Baybees Ruin Everything

I agree. I have lost so many friends through breeding or adopting. My cousin is now in-pig, baybee due in January. Guess I won't be seeing much of her either. I used to drive to Massachusetts for a long weekend, me, her and my other cousin (her sister) would hang out, shop, act goofy, etc. Not anymore.

Yep--you sure know what I am going through. I was stuned! At her age--she wants a crotch dropping. I am so sad and sickened by this. Bayybies ruin everything! They suck! And yes, I love and adore my CF lifestyle! It is wonderful and yes, I am selfish and I LOVE it!

UGH!!!

Damn, I'm sorry...that sucks balls.
I guess you can be glad that you're far enough away that there probably won't be any unannounced visits, or frantic calls for babysitting. I still don't understand how a person can make it so long without children to suddenly say "My life is so boring with my wide variety of interests and hobbies. I have too much unspent money every month, I think I'm going to give it all up and get me a baby."

Hmmm...anyway, I'm sorry to hear about your friend, I guess the best to hope for now is that they're PNB.
HUGS!

"It truly is the one commonality that every designation of humans you can think of has, there's at least one asshole."
--Me

My sympathies.

For what it's worth, your friend will probably suffer greatly as a result of her decision. She's probably doing this because she's deluded enough to think that baybees cement a marriage and she wants a little extra glue since she married a much younger man. What she doesn't realize that if he decides to dump her later, it will be 10 times worse because she'll be stuck with a kid.

Remember that stupid 62 year old woman who went through IVF for her much-younger husband? The woman was a psychiatrist, but it just goes to show that women can be older, educated, but no wiser.

Damn... So sorry to hear about your friend. Maybe, hopefully, she won't get so absorbed in her mail- order loaf that she forgets that life exists outside of her newfound life as a breeder.

She'll have the mail-order loaf a few months and will wonder what in the hell she was thinking. She'll be wanting to return it like a bad purchase.

They are adopting a fresh loaf from Guatamala

Man, 90% of babees are discusting, but the ones from Guatamala take it to a new level. A woman whose mother has an antique booth across from me orded one of those and it had sunken black eyes and was covered in what I assume is not fur. Just vile looking.

The thing is now five and they have adopted its brother, who is a fresh loaf and the moommy is sewing up matching outfits for the two of them. Pale yellow shortie overalls in seersucker with a train sewed on them is the latest creation. I expect the older one to be in therapy for decades.

Thanks for the condolences!! LOL!

Funny thing is their marraige has been on and off the rocks for a while now and it hit a low earlier this year when she told him to get out. They seemed to have mended ways because they love each other and don't want to be apart. Apparently he's got this impulse control problem with spending money. Yup. He goes out and buys expensive things then never uses them. Like the $3,000 mountain bike. @@ And they live in Flordia - hello? No fricken mountains there!!! So they may find themselves tapped out of funds with the new mail-order fresh loaf (love the mail-order term - thank you!!!).

She told me the Guatamalan bayyyyyybe is going to cost $30,000. With that cash, I'd be exploring the world and buying investment properties so I can make even more money (yes, I am a greedy bitch).

As far as the baby sitting is concerned - when another friend of mine was hatching her fresh loaf I told her to not call me for babysitting. She was dumbfounded and shocked! She thought I would do that so she and her husband could "go out" for a "quiet night." Oh good lord! NO! Don't call me. And yes, that ended our friendship. Can you say "Selfish-breeder?"

Anyway, yes, my friend is far away and I hope that she is a PNB and not a stupid breeder like how most of them turn out. I just feel like I am losing something terrific! When you throw a bayyybeeee into the mix it just doesn't work out for me. I don't like spening more than 1-2 minutes in the presence of a bayyyyybe and I sure don't want to have conversations about how terrific motherhood is. It's like we don't or wont have anything in common. And I know I am jumping the gun but I do know that most new parents tend to seek each other out so they can hang out with their fresh loaves so they can talk about common things. And I think that's normal but it sure leaves me 1 friend short.

Who knows? Maybe she will come to her senses and decide to ABORT this mission?

I agree with Bell_Flower. The woman is using the baby-route to keep that much younger man cemented to her. Most older women who marry a younger man do even more ridiculous things to keep him from leaving. Age should have no bearing because men marry younger women all of the time. Look at Donald Trump with Wifey #3 almost as young as his oldest daughter! Yet...the results are rarely that great for the older women. The younger men do leave when the careers allow them to or they have the funds to get a "better woman".

I've also lost friends to breeding. Heck, I felt I lost my stepbrother to this as well. He was the coolest before he married this trophy woman from a wealthy family. I saw the personality change before the "I do's" were said because he had to make those changes to keep that pedigree-woman. That baby has been born. I refuse to send a card even though my mom only wants me to for the family sake. Mom is very supportive of my being CF so it is not as if she is pushing the issue. Still...I do not want to send a card even if I wrote one that had no "congrats" message. I don't do the greetings for weddings or births.

I go thru the same thing all the time, so you're not alone. I know it is not RL but at least you have this board. Gosh, I don't know what I would have done being CF w/o the Internet being invented. I probably would just become a recluse, losing friend after friend to breediing.

The funny thing, b/c breeders are turning into greezerbreeders, it seems like it never ends, the losing of friends you thought were well past breeding age, even adoption. And b/c most parunts are becoming helicopter parunts now, it never ends even when the brats grow up. Or youre so outta touch by that time anyway, they never call you and re-kindle the friendship when the brat is an adult.

I can't imagine how they live such a limited life where it seems like they don't even miss their old friendships. No one is THAT busy. It is funny they feel like they are missing something w/o brats, but it seems like they should be missing more, like all the close, cozy fun times with other adults. I don't get it.

Try your best to accept it. Take refuge in your lifestyle you know is right, and overall, is making you happy. B/c you know no matter how much they will claim happiness, you know this is when you'll see evidence of their life sucking.

I feel for you, CFAD. I can't even fathom why, at 46 goddamn years old, anyone would want to saddle themselves with a baby, especially an adopted one. I'm not against adoption (we need more people willing to take on the loaves who are already here instead of making more), but let's face it, you're rolling the dice and hoping they don't have any health or genetic problems, and I won't even go into the bullshit you have to go through to be approved to adopt a kid.

On a message board I read sometimes, one of the moderators is a woman who is easily in her late 40s, possibly early 50s, and at the time I first started reading there, she had adopted one kid who was toddler age (and she was probably mid-40s at that time, I'd say). The most recent news in the last 2 years is that this woman, whose husband is older than her, so we're talking a middle-aged/close to retirement couple, had decided to adopt, again, not one but TWO babies--infants--from Guatemala or other 3rd world country. Of course all the moos on the board are congratulating her and cheering and making a fuss, and all I could think was, gee, that's stupid. You're going to be practically in an old-age home when these kids are entering high school. At Back to School Night or parent-teacher conferences, everyone will assume you're the grandparents, not the parents. And I don't give a shit how young this woman *thinks* she looks.

Granted, they're taking kids out of a less than ideal environment and bringing them into the good old US of A, and they'll have a better life, but I still think it's rather selfish to be up there in years and adopt a baby there's no way in hell you can keep up with. These kids will be burying their parents before they're out of college, probably.

I would've rather they adopted a dog from a shelter than take on 3 goddamn kids that now have geezers for parents. It's pretty selfish in a way, and I was not about to congratulate this woman for adopting children that probably won't celebrate their 30th birthdays with her.

(Oh, P.S.: Not long after adopting the 2 new loaves, Grandma Moo was looking to hire a housekeeper to clean and cook and shit because Moo was "quite busy looking after 3 little ones." Hmm. Of course, most of the moos on the board said, "oh you deserve it. You need to focus your attention on those kids." Puh-lease. If you hadn't taken on 3 very young children at 50 years old, you wouldn't need to push the housework off onto someone else. And it's not like she had anything else to do besides chase the sprogs around. Hubby brought in the bacon for the whole overflowing household. Guess he can't retire anytime soon now.)

I swear I don't think ANY of our peers will retire.

They are having kyds way late in life, they overspend and buy everything they and the brat desires, college savings, their own college loans, bigger and bigger houses to put all their crap in, then they have even more kyds than just the one or two that they maybe should have, so that means more activity fees and tuiton, and a new piano for their lessons and more iPods and more and more $$$$ down the drain. Then these loser parunts pay their grown up brats rent b/c they never let grow up.

So how the hell are they gonna retire?

CF Uter, I wonder the same thing...how CAN these people afford to retire? If they really think they will be able to live just off Social Security, or that the sprogs will take care of them when they are old, they are sadly mistaken. As you pointed out, many of these breeders are supporting grown children financially. They should be socking all of that money away into a retirement fund.

I remember a Dear Abby letter from a while back. It was written by a couple who were both around 80 years old, but STILL WORKING because they *had* to support their useless overgrown brat, his lazy SAHMoo wife, and sproggen. And I think the moo was knocked up AGAIN. Basically, the lazy offspring pretty much drained the parents' retirement accounts dry, so they have nothing left, and no time to make any of that money back by working.

Abby told them to cut the purse strings, but still, the damage has already been done. These people should have kicked the brat to the curb years ago, but they didn't. They are just as much to blame for this mess as the loser son and his lazy famblee.

In today's economy, even with a high salary as Catdaddy makes, I just don't see how breeders can afford crap for the brats, college funds, AND retirement savings. We know breeders who earn more than Catdaddy does, and they are crying poverty all the time!

We can pay our bills, put money away into the retirement fund, and still have enough left over to do fun stuff now. I just can't see living the way these breeders do...mired in debt, having to give up fun things for themselves, and never being able to retire. Thank DOG that this will never be us!

Credit baby...it's all on credit. Get that second mortage, and one can finance a couple fertility treatments and the resultant sprog, maybe. If its sickly or suffering from birth defects, then just have a fund raiser or two...or go take advantage of the community assistance grants the hospital has so people without money can access health care. Gawd, The Gub'ment or Visa will provide and usually a combination of all three.

"It truly is the one commonality that every designation of humans you can think of has, there's at least one asshole."
--Me

I feel for ya, CFNYC.

CF_Uter wrote:

"Gosh, I don't know what I would have done being CF w/o the Internet being invented. I probably would just become a recluse, losing friend after friend to breediing."

That is a working definition of my late 20's and early 30's. Lucky for me, I am fond of solitary pursuits. It was pretty bleak. Around 1997, when I was 35, I found a childfree listserv and BRATS! came along shortly thereafter.

Unfortunately, it's still hard to find friends IRL. We've all talked about it before, but Modern Moo-hood is just insufferable.....It's become some kind of freaky badge of honor not to have a life outside Snotleigh. Women spend every spare moment doing kid shit with other Moos. It's sacreligious to do anything for yourself if you're a Moo.

CFAD, your friend's marriage sounds doomed. A baby and the financial pressures will probably put them under. If they had financial pressures before, it's just beginning. And $30,000. I can think of much better things to spend $ on, like my retirement.

I have story about old farts adopting. I worked for a man when I was in my early 30's..this was circa 1994. He was 43 and married. He let me know he dug me, not in an obnoxious way. He knew my morals and that I don't do married men. (I was single at the time.)

Anyway, I always suspected his wife was more into him than vice versa. He always struck me as the CF sort. His wife wanted to adopt, probably to cement their marriage. I think he went along with it. They did a domestic adoption, which was horrendously expensive, $25,000 in 1994 dollars. That would be like $40,000 today. The kid was a child of a high school student who didn't believe in abortion but was okay with premarital sex. He went through this whole proces of convincing her to give them the baybee. He told me they taped her to protect themselves legally and to document that she understood that she was giving up the baybee.

Fast forward about 18 months later. I took another job out of state and I contacted him for a reference. He's already divorced and sees the kid every other weekend. Are you fucking kidding me? I felt sorry for the teenager, who gave up the kid and thought he'd be raised by two people. Old boss said the divorce was mutual but I don't believe it. He was shacked up with his high school girlfriend.

AD's friend will be holding the bag when this one ends because she's a Moomy and Moomies are supposed to be self-sacrificing. Men can and do walk away and their lives don't change much. And she's 46 YEARS OLD. Shit, she'll be working until she's 70! WHAT AN IDIOT.

i am a recluse, if i didnt have to go out on occasions i would stay home all day, reading, writing poems, etc etc.. i started to hate people in my early 20's, and i sort of dropped out of the friends area, i eventually ended up with 3 friends, but they have their own lives.. so then i came online, where i have more people i know, but there is a seperation, then i came out of the cf closet i knew i didnt want kids, but i didnt know there was a term for it.. it was about this time i met faust, and then i found turtles board, which closed, just after, then ezcf, and there was an incident there.. then this board and me and faust created our own board as well as dragonlady..

and now i consider most of you on this board my friends, people who really understand and are possibly better than people in real life, so i consider you my friends, i still dont go out much, and if i could i would back away even further, my mum is totally supportive of my choice, and she is 70 and works, because she says they will have to carry her out, she loves her work, (and since where i am there is HIGH unemployment).

i just cant see why anyone would want to be in debt for decades, its a spend now pay later culture, i beleive in saving for what i want. if only credit wasnt so easy to get then less people will have kids.

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I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

I am loving this part of my life! I am about to be 40 and things are really good. And yes, me and DH talk about retirement, meaning EARLY retirement or semi-retirement and enjoying life, travels and the like. I wonder at her age of 46 why she would want to give all her freedom up? They travel 2 times a year - on cruises and to other places. They go out to dinner every night, have a house keeper and so on.

I suppose I am very content in my life and realize that a child willl NEVER fit in. I try to become friends with women who feel the same way (CF friends are the best) so when a good one announces she's adopting - DAMN! I am really thrown here.

Thanks again for listening to me. I needed to unload those feelings.

Just a quick update. She asked me for a notorized letter with my signature saying how long I've known them and so on. She was talking about how extensive the paperwork is and how long it is taking them to do it. And how the process so far has cost them $16,500 and she joked at how they are going to be broke at the end of this.

Why the fuck would you go into debt for a fucking bayyybe?

They'll be spending $30,000 for the whole thing. For a bayyyybe from a 3rd world country no less. What if the merchandise is defective? It's got some problems? Can't return it? Nope.

In any event, there's a lot I could do with $30,000. How about you? I can think of some fun things!

They do know that it also takes money to raise a baby? Maybe exhausting your entire savings to get one isn't the best decision.