My sister has the golden grandchild--I want attention!

In a letter requesting advice, a mother of a 6-month-old baby complains that her younger sister's child gets all the grandparent's affection. Part of her complaint stems from the fact that she's viewed as a businesswoman, while the rest of the women in her family are primarily housewives, and her grandparents don't want to help her out.

I wonder how much of this is due to her expectations that the family would step in and take on a lot of the work, because she's this bizzy businesswoman and deserves assistance. And how much interest did she have in their lives before she wanted their help?

Or it might just be that her sister was the golden child, and has now produced the golden grandsprog...in which case, she should just reconsider what sort of relationship she wants to have with them.

I can relate. My older sister was the golden one, and I was an accident. When big sis had the golden grandchildren, i was seen as an annoyance that everybody had to put up with. Sis and her douchbag hubby even badmouthed me behind my back to themselves and their kids. In my family, all the women (even big sister) are housewives and SAHMoos who gave up everything, even a huge music/Hollywood career for the kids. I was the college educated one with the career and big ideals.

Sorry, I cannot relate to the whining of this letter writer because she gets little attention from her family. As she has a career, she has something worthwhile that the SAHMoos don't have, i.e. a career. If I were her, I'd focus on my life and my family and not put too much stock in what the rest of her extended family thinks and does. Clearly, they don't respect her because she is both a mother and businesswoman. They would prefer that she be financially dependant on her husband, which she isn't.

The letter writer needs to grow a pair and get on with life. I sure as hell did.

Quote

Or it might just be that her sister was the golden child, and has now produced the golden grandsprog...in which case, she should just reconsider what sort of relationship she wants to have with them.

People always tell CF people "you must have had a bad childhood," but I see many people who sprog because they are in some kind of freakish competition with their siblings for their parunts' attention, or they are "determined to give their kyds what they didn't have." The problem is, they are still in the same (often dysfunctional) family they started with. The dysfunction and games carry on to the next generation.

All the more reason to be CF. No grandparunt games. If my husband and I sprogged, my in-laws would be here all the time. No thanks.

I know that feeling. My sister is my parents' favorite not only because she's a better Catholic than I am, but because as my mother has said, "She's the mother of our only grandchildren."

Childfree Karen