Even baby factories are calling them on the lies

The five lies breeders tell

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" ... what's one more once you've already got two shedding on the couch?"

Such a misty-eyed little romantic fairy tale gets shattered into razor-edged glass pieces splashed with BLOOD, pus, shit, pee, and rotten tit milk once again, too!

Marriedwithrabbits, eek! usually you hear about the nurses getting yelled at and abused, not the other way round. If anyone did that to me I wouldn't rest until I got them disciplined at the very least...and if I was in the position of the woman who made the comment about breastfeeding, fired!

While ALL the lies that moos tell to wanna moos are unforgivable, the truth of the "having a baybee brings you closer together with your husband....." lie is the worst.


"5. Once the initial euphoria has subsided, you and your partner will effectively become shift workers: when he's awake you will be dropping off to sleep, and vice versa. You will become resentful of his ability to leave the house in the morning, bound for the comparatively stressless world of work. In the back of your mind will be the sneaking suspicion that he is spending longer and longer in the office because he would almost rather be anywhere than at home sterilizing bottles and dealing with a frazzled you and a wailing babe. Sex will be implausible, not so much because of the physical changes wrought by giving birth, but because you will both be spectacularly exhausted, and no one feels like having much sex when they're tired. And smelling slightly of sick."

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

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kidlesskim
While ALL the lies that moos tell to wanna moos are unforgivable, the truth of the "having a baybee brings you closer together with your husband....." lie is the worst.

I agree. I've known couples who never really get to spend time together and focus on each other until their kids are grown up. It just seems so sad and ridiculous to me. I'd much rather give my attention to my man than some squalling shitsack who would most likely bring me nothing but pain and misery.

Ugh. They should have added "You will henceforth forfeit all sense of dignity, couth, class, public decorum and adult manners in favor of talking about intimate bodily functions and multiple types of bodily waste at the most inappropriate moments; your standards of grooming will plummet; your house will become a chaotic filthy mess and you will be unable to conduct a conversation that doesn't pertain to the bowel habits of your spawn or the intrigue and politics of the local mommy-and-me group."

As a side note, is Glamour now in on the procreation act? I'm in my mid-4os and it's been years since I've purchased that or similar magazines but wow -- remember when they were all about "how to achieve that sandy, sun-kissed look with Bonne Bell cheek stain and Seashell Pink toenail polish" or "pair a flirty chiffon mini-skirt with a denim jacket and lace cami for a romantic summer look" or "five must-pack items for a weekend at the beach." ??? Now they are about sandpapered nipples and torn vaginas?

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Sorceress

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kidlesskim
While ALL the lies that moos tell to wanna moos are unforgivable, the truth of the "having a baybee brings you closer together with your husband....." lie is the worst.

I agree. I've known couples who never really get to spend time together and focus on each other until their kids are grown up. It just seems so sad and ridiculous to me. I'd much rather give my attention to my man than some squalling shitsack who would most likely bring me nothing but pain and misery.

THIS.

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Melanie
As a side note, is Glamour now in on the procreation act? I'm in my mid-4os and it's been years since I've purchased that or similar magazines but wow -- remember when they were all about "how to achieve that sandy, sun-kissed look with Bonne Bell cheek stain and Seashell Pink toenail polish" or "pair a flirty chiffon mini-skirt with a denim jacket and lace cami for a romantic summer look" or "five must-pack items for a weekend at the beach." ??? Now they are about sandpapered nipples and torn vaginas?

MANY women's magazines are making tons of room for stupid stories about marriage, baybees, and office issues. This is why I switched to People Stylewatch. Nothing but fashion, skincare, jewelry, and makeup. There's no politics or stories about having babies after age 40, etc.

Of course the breeder are in the comments are frantically shushing her so she doesn't "scare away" other potential breeders. eyes2

Unchilded person hears telephone ringing, and answers it.
"Hello? who is this?"
"It's Misery, and I'm feeling really depressed. I was wondering if you could keep me company...for the rest of your life!"

LOL about Glamour. I've had the following observation about Cosmopolitan: When I was in a relationship, all the articles were about places to meet men, what to wear for the perfect first date, how to be happy and single. When I was single, all the articles were about spur-of-the moment romantic getaways for two, how to make monogamy hot, and recipes for the ultimate night-in with yer man.

Haven't read Glamor or Cosmo in years. My neighbor got me a gift subscription to Time. I love her.