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Moo Laments:Hubby not Interested in New Loafsad smiley

Posted by kidlesskim 
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kidlesskim
Moo Laments:Hubby not Interested in New Loafsad smiley
June 12, 2011
http://stlouis.momslikeme.com/members/JournalActions.aspx?g=190694&m=11637067&grpcat=My+Life


This one here has a husband who owns a farm and works from sun up to sun down. Then, he brings home farmhands for dinner and instead of taking her cues to get a shower and letting the workers leave so he can go play with baybee girl, he continues to chat and shoot the breeze with the guys until midnight. Then, hubby finally gets his shower and says he will watch the fresh loaf while moo hoses off, then the baybee starts howling and DH is sound asleep just feet away and ignores the whole thing. sleeping This makes moo sad he's missing out on all of the intriguing things that an infant does on a daily basis.:bawl

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!
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gymrat
Re: Moo Laments:Hubby not Interested in New Loafsad smiley
June 12, 2011
Prime example of a guy who probably should have stayed CF. From the sounds of her post, I don't even know that he should've gotten married. Seems that he treats her like the hired help. If she's smart (and she doesn't sound as if she is) she won't have any more kids with this guy.
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LoveToLurk
Re: Moo Laments:Hubby not Interested in New Loafsad smiley
June 12, 2011
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After I got out of the shower I laid her down in bed with me and just talked to her and she kicked and cooed back to me for a good 45 minutes before she got hungry.

45 minutes?!? Jesus, I can't even play with my cat for 10 before I get bored. And playing with the cat is at least interesting. Watching a baby lay there an make noises for 45 minutes? This is what these people consider fun?

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"Not every ejaculation deserves a name" - George Carlin
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kidlesskim
Re: Moo Laments:Hubby not Interested in New Loafsad smiley
June 12, 2011
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LoveToLurk
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After I got out of the shower I laid her down in bed with me and just talked to her and she kicked and cooed back to me for a good 45 minutes before she got hungry.

45 minutes?!? Jesus, I can't even play with my cat for 10 before I get bored. And playing with the cat is at least interesting. Watching a baby lay there an make noises for 45 minutes? This is what these people consider fun?


I too noticed the terminally long fascination with the kicking and cooing(sleeping) and how she put the kid in their bed for playtime. Also, she mentions that when he slept through the wailing while she showered that the loaf was only about five feet away. Therefore, we can conclude that the crib is IN their room. It doesn't take a genius to figure out this man is using his work and sleep as an escape mechanism. If she continues with the loaf shitting and starts up with co-sleeping, it's only a matter of time before his escapism will go from work and sleep to nights out and other women.

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!
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Anonymous User
Re: Moo Laments:Hubby not Interested in New Loafsad smiley
June 12, 2011
Don't forget, moo loved its spit bubbles too! How can people be so transfixed by something when all it does is scream, coo, kick, blow spit bubbles, sleep occasionally, eat and shit? Pets are way more entertaining than a crotchturd anyday!

And even though he is essentially non-existent from the crotchling's life, how much you wanna bet she's going to sprog 2 or 3 more kyds with him?
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bell_flower
Re: Moo Laments:Hubby not Interested in New Loafsad smiley
June 12, 2011
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Hormomal Babbling
Our daughter is 6 weeks old & every day she changes and grows so much! I couldn't imagine going a day without holding her, or bonding with her but my husband can go days without doing anything with her & I just do not know what to do so he will take more of an interest in her.

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More Senseless Babbling
When I was a kid I would go a week at a time without seeing my dad. He would leave before I got up for school & would get home after I already went to bed. But that is not the kind of relationship I want our little girl to have with her dad.

Projection much? Jeez, Lady, your loaf has been on this Earth a mere six weeks. She "relates" to other people thusly: she cries, you feed her. She shits, you change her. Once she's capable of understanding when someone is ignoring her, then you are allowed to freak out if he ignores her.

For now, I assume you thought he would be a decent father, and you discussed your child rearing expectations prior to becoming pregnant. Rather than freaking out after six weeks, and dragging your own baggage into this situation, a better way to deal with this would be to revisit this discussion now. Or maybe the more mature thing would be to let your husband bond with your daughter in his own time.

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He said he would watch her while I got a shower

Watch her do what? She's six freaking weeks old!

My comments in red:

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I don't want to be a total nag or force him to spend time with her (um, it sounds as if you do) but come on if she if fussing 5 ft from you wake up and give her a little attention. (how about being compassionate toward your husband? He's dead tired and he can't hear her. How about cutting him some slack?) After I got out of the shower I laid her down in bed with me and just talked to her and she kicked and cooed back to me for a good 45 minutes before she got hungry. That is a great opportunity for him to bond with her but he is missing everything. (Everything? Isn't that a big of an exaggeration? Dramatic much? She's six weeks old.) She is cooing so much, blowing bubble (gross), loves to kick and play (Play? Play what? Texas Hold 'Em? Is she running laps around the nursery? Do six week old baybees actually play anything other than I-scream-you-come-and-let's-see-how-fast-I-can-fill-the-landfill-with-my-shitty-diapers??? and he is missing everything. (Here we go again with the dramatics....) It makes me so sad for her that her dad just seems to not care at all. I feel like a single parent I do everything all day long & don't get a break at all (Hmmmm, I think we are getting at the root of the problem....it sounds as if you are feeling bad for yourself, not your daughter) at night when he comes home because he will come home, shower, talk on the phone, watch the weather & go to bed. He will sometimes yell at me if I ask him to take her for 5 minutes so I can do something else. I know farming is hard work but he doesn't understand how hard it is to take care of a baby too. Don't get me wrong it is the best job in the world (a job you've had for six weeks and you sound pretty miserable already) & I wouldn't want to be doing anything else but I need 5 minutes to myself every once in a while (doesn't sound likely anytime soon) & I just wish he would be more interested in our baby. What can I do?(Don't be an idiot like most women and think...it's not right to not give her a sibling or....he'll feel differently about a son. IOW, for Gawd's sake, don't make the same mistake twice.)

And I'll also add....did this Nimrod fire two brain cells before she fucked without protection?

Did she think, Hey, I'll get knocked up; my husband works a demanding job and I'll be home, taking care of a totally dependent being that needs to be fed every 2-3 hours the first 2-4 months of its life and latched to my tit constantly, I'll have tons of FREE time on my hands!

What did she think her life would be like? Did she think about that for one minute? Or was it all attention whoring and baybee showers and pregnasty but not thinking for one minute about post-pregnasty?

Seriously, there are THOUSANDS of books and MOO sites that SPELL out the tedium of baybee care and tell you your life will be one constant Hell of sleep-deprived drugery for the first six months.

But even then, with her plea for FIVE minutes to herself, she's missing something. Earth to dim-witted Moo: If your baybee is clean, fed and changed, YOU DON'T HAVE TO WATCH HER ALL THE TIME. (Lurking Moos of the mobile variety, this does not apply to you, so you cannot sue Bratfree for your little sizzler or floater---Mooove along, thanks for playing.)

She will not spontaneously combust if you remove your eyes from her for one minute. Instead of gaping at her like a carp out of water for 45 minutes, go take a shower or clean your damn house or get some "alone time." (You'll be glad you did when you kid IS mobile and you have to watch her.) Start being more efficient with your own time before you carp at your husband.
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yurble
Re: Moo Laments:Hubby not Interested in New Loafsad smiley
June 13, 2011
The pigeons that roost on the neighbor's roof coo every morning, although I don't know if they blow spit bubbles. I can watch them for, hmm, about 10 seconds at a time before I'm bored. And the cooing makes me want to throw something at them to get them to shut up. Hell, they don't even shit on my balcony and I'd still rather they went elsewhere.

They are such little miracles.
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gymrat
Re: Moo Laments:Hubby not Interested in New Loafsad smiley
June 13, 2011
It was already after midnight, the guy is a farmer, and she wants him to watch the baby "coo" for 45 minutes in order to bond with it? When is this guy supposed to sleep? I thought farmers went to bed right after supper.
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Melanie
Re: Moo Laments:Hubby not Interested in New Loafsad smiley
June 13, 2011
What is there to "watch" about a six-week-old child? Put it in whatever it sleeps in and go shower, scrapbook, play Farmville, eat, clean the house, whatever. Even the fussiest child conks out at some point and for the very few who do cry,fuss and scream 24/7 -- shrug, you still can lay them down long enough to bathe yourself.

I truly do not get these moos who complain about lack of "me time." Surely their children sleep? She just wants kudos and attention, isn't getting it and is hiding her personal resentment behind a "he doesn't love the baybee" facade.
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kidlesskim
Re: Moo Laments:Hubby not Interested in New Loafsad smiley
June 13, 2011
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Melanie
What is there to "watch" about a six-week-old child? Put it in whatever it sleeps in and go shower, scrapbook, play Farmville, eat, clean the house, whatever. Even the fussiest child conks out at some point and for the very few who do cry,fuss and scream 24/7 -- shrug, you still can lay them down long enough to bathe yourself.

I truly do not get these moos who complain about lack of "me time." Surely their children sleep? She just wants kudos and attention, isn't getting it and is hiding her personal resentment behind a "he doesn't love the baybee" facade.


Based on what I have read, the average newborn sleeps about 16-18 hours a day. SURELY they can arrange a shower during that time frame WHILE their husband is working. Instead, they lay in wait to pounce on him the minute he walks through the door under the guise of having been SO bizzy with baybee they couldn't even manage a shower. In fact, they are only showboating their exaggerated lack of "me" time.eye rolling smiley

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!
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Dorisan
Re: Moo Laments:Hubby not Interested in New Loafsad smiley
June 13, 2011
Quote
http://stlouis.momslikeme.com/members/JournalActions.aspx?g=190694&m=11637067&grpcat=My+Life

I know being the daughter of a farmer is going to be rough--been there, done that. When I was a kid I would go a week at a time without seeing my dad. He would leave before I got up for school & would get home after I already went to bed. But that is not the kind of relationship I want our little girl to have with her dad.

Hmmm, so she already knows what the farm-family life is like, yet believes things will be different. I guess she thinks the Farm Fairy sprinkled magic manure over her to ensure a different future.
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Dorisan
Re: Moo Laments:Hubby not Interested in New Loafsad smiley
June 13, 2011
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gymrat
Prime example of a guy who probably should have stayed CF. From the sounds of her post, I don't even know that he should've gotten married. Seems that he treats her like the hired help. If she's smart (and she doesn't sound as if she is) she won't have any more kids with this guy.

Well, technology might have changed farming methods, but the life script hasn't changed. Too many people still view it as Pa going out to the fields while Ma tends the home place; baking pies, taking care of the kids, and going out to hang wash on the line still wearing her gingham checked apron.
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