Were You A Brat?

I know I was a horrible child.
I was messy, never cleaned up after myself. I argued with my parents. I beat up my siblings, sometimes just for fun. I rode my bike in insane ways, paying no attention to bike traffic rules, I stole from my parents, I never did my homework, and I caused trouble in school.
I remember one time I rode my bike around the alley with a hollow, plastic baseball bat and was hitting strangers with it (it didn't hurt, but I'm sure it was annoying.) I have no idea why other than I was a horrible, awful child.

You were a lot brattier than I was. I was pretty timid as a kid so never got into too much trouble. The worst thing was that I didn't like cleaning my room, and my Mom would threaten to do it for me if I didn't. I knew she would get rid of things I wanted to keep, so that motivated me. Otherwise, nope, pretty boring, obedient, well-behaved kid.

Sickly and bookish. Had asthma, allergies and was confined to the house so as to not be exposed to pollen, grass or other things that made my chest close up. Mind, this was the early 60s, both my parents were heavy smokers and I was attended by doctors who would butt their smokes right before entering the exam room. No one drew a correlation but, in my teens, I went to live in a non-smoking household and got healthy almost immediately.

Anyway, that influenced my childhood. Though it was a hateful existence, I came out of it better read, smarter, and more imaginative than my siblings. Though scrawny, I was wiry and could hold my own. If my sibs got too rambunctious, I'd throw something at them. Had a fairly deadly aim, too.

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Sorceress
You were a lot brattier than I was. I was pretty timid as a kid so never got into too much trouble. The worst thing was that I didn't like cleaning my room, and my Mom would threaten to do it for me if I didn't. I knew she would get rid of things I wanted to keep, so that motivated me. Otherwise, nope, pretty boring, obedient, well-behaved kid.

I was terrible. I freely admit that I was a horrible kid. I've since turned my life around, but I can't undo what I have done. I can only admit to it.

Kids like me are part of the reason I never want any.

I was pretty bratty too, and I think this was due to the fact that my mother and I lived with my grandma,and Grandma would not let my mother discipline me in any way. I was always hearing, "Don't you yell at/hit that baby!" until I was about eight or nine. On one hand, my mom would verbally abuse me to compensate for the fact that she couldn't hit me, and then my grandma would indulge me at every possible chance. The result was a brat who would occasionally be afraid of her mother. I think such behavior was what led my mother to feel the need to do my homework for me from about second to eighth grade.

I definitely was a brat - I wanted this and that and had no issue throwing a fit if I didn't get it. I swore, I hit other kids, I even tried to steal toys from kindergarten once. Believe it or not, rather than getting worse with age, I mellowed out even more, possibly to the point of doormat-ness. I became shy and quiet due to being sheltered and screamed at for everything.

What often motivated me was not so much threats of being beaten myself, but toward my grandma. Many times when my mother was pissed off, she'd threaten to kill my grandma if Grandma uttered a word to her about anything. So I would go see my grandma and say, "Mom's being crazy and says she'll kill you if you say anything when she starts yelling. So don't say anything, everything's okay." It was a very strange combination because on one hand, I was a spoiled brat,but on the other, I was a verbal and emotional abuse victim. Those usually are not two halves you often see together within the same person.

Not much better now. Still cannot stand up to my mother, who still continues to live my life for me. I almost liked myself better as a screaming brat because I didn't kowtow to anybody. Almost.

All kids can be shits, occasionally. My brother and I were both very well-behaved, not brats, except for the every-so-often episodes that even the best of kids have. I have to say that we weren't assholes BECAUSE we knew what our parents were and were not having. Compared to other parents, they were strict, but I totally didn't see them that way. I knew they made certain rules to keep us safe, not to make our lives miserable. This is why other shits couldn't "be bad influences." My parents' influence was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay stronger.

Given that, I was surprised at my parents' coolness, on occasion. Once, I had this friend who'd just dyed his hair purple... and when he came over, my mother came into my room and said, "There's a young man with purple hair at the door for you." She said it very matter-of-factly, like it wasn't even a thing.

LOL, if my parents knew about some of the things we were around/saw when amongst friends of ours, they might shit.

Yes, I was a spoiled little shit...and in some ways not a lot has changed, though I am trying to be a better person.

I was more like Dorisan: quiet, bookish, sickly. I'm sure I had some bratty moments--what child doesn't?--but overall I was the sort of child who preferred sitting quietly and reading. I could certainly be defiant and persistent if I felt wronged, but my protests tended to take the form of reasoned argument with maybe a bit of sulking rather than whining.

I'm with you, Julie. I was a monster. Sickly when I was small, but when I was out of toddler stage, and no longer fun for my BNP mom, she quickly changed her tune and started acting like she detested me. I wasn't the quiet, docile daughter that my perfect older sister was.

I annoyed everyone in earshot, I went through a phase of using the worst swear words I could find, and I told stories about a 'loving family', often to get attention. I'd been repeatedly abused by babysitters/in-home day care people by the time I was six. My mom was hateful, and I was a demon.

I won't go on, but suffice it to say that I felt terrible for my behavior the rest of my truly adult life. I wasn't spoiled - I was disturbed, and eventually depraved. But I freely admit these days how bad I was. And I also admit that I wouldn't know how to handle having a child that was anything like me. :/

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"They will say that you are on the wrong road, if it is your own." ~Antonio Porchia

I was a pretty well-behaved kid- I wasn't shy and timid, but I wasn't a monster either. I've always been pretty easy to deal with, unlike my older sister. I was brought up in a loving home, but my PNB mother (and father when my parents were together) would not have put up with bratty behavior for very long. And if I had a moment like that, like all kids tend to, they wouldn't hesitate to discipline me and clearly let me know what I did was wrong, but I was usually pretty good, so I never really *needed* much disciplining that often- I knew that bratty behavior would get my punished since I was very young.

I was mostly a quiet, studious kid with some bratty moments here and there. My brother and I used to beat the crap out of each other and tear the house apart in the summer when my mom was away at work. We'd have the house neat as a pin by the time she came home, though. In elementary school, I was a straight-A student who was in Girl Scouts, cheerleading, chorus, and band. I read books all the time, wrote short stories, and drew in my sketchbook. I got in trouble once for trying a cigarette with my uber-Christian friend from down the street. Her little sister ratted us out. I never gave my dad attitude, but I got in trouble a lot with my mom, mainly for the stupid shit for which she yelled at me. I wasn't a perfect angel, but I was pretty good overall.

In junior high, I was still a good student and never got in trouble in school, but I argued a lot with my mother. Most of the strife stemmed from the fact that I wanted to go out with friends but I'd have to come home at some stupidly early time, if I was even allowed out at all. Plus, my brother was able to do whatever the hell he wanted when he was that age (he's three years older). That made my blood boil. All I wanted to do was watch some punk bands at the local coffeehouse. If it wasn't for the occasional interventions of my father, I probably would have had no social life. My mom initially had a big problem with my style of clothing and choice of friends. In eighth and ninth grade I got in trouble a few times for staying out past curfew. Eventually, she accepted the fact that I wasn't going to be some preppy prissy chick.

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I wasn't a brat, but I was (and still am) a talker. I also had a high-pitched voice and was teased by my siblings that they were going to strap me to the car and make me into a human siren.

The times that I did try to attention whore, somoene put me in check right-quick. Like one time in particular I remember camping with my dad and the next-door childless couple, and we were coming back to shore from fishing, and I kept running back and forth with stuff in front of some shoreline fishers, hopping over their lines and being a general PITA. The childless neighbor man was quick to tell me to stop running in front the fishers and go around them instead. I recall him using a very impatient voice, not a sing-songy, "now, be nice and don't disturb the other people". My dad didn't admonish our neighbor friend in the least bit for reining in his best fishing buddy.

I was mostly the reader type too. When I attempted to act like a brat, one or both parents would put a stop to it. Mostly verbally, but they were not afraid to use physical discipline if that's what it took. My father would do the same with my brother, but my mother let him run wild.

My parents would even punish us more for "embarrassing" them in public. They'd often tell us out of earshot, "wait until we get home." So I learned pretty early on to behave in public, though I wasn't perfect. My brother would behave with my dad who enforced good behavior, but not with my mom.

I never really had any semblance of a social life either...not until I was about 17 when I had my first date. Up until then, my mother was perfectly content with me sitting on my ass all day long in my room drawing or playing games. That way, I wouldn't fall in with the wrong crowd and start doing drugs and all that. I never went to parties, never went to the movies with friends, never went to sleepovers, never went shopping with friends...fuck, I wasn't allowed to have friends at my birthday parties until I was 18. My mother felt my birthday was a family event only. Also no extra-curricular activities, but that may have been due in part to the fact that I was a brat for many years and I'd have been thrown out of whatever thing it was because the teachers/leaders/whoever couldn't handle me.

So I'm a bit socially retarded in the sense that I cannot just go up to someone and start talking. I have very few friends, but they are also people who I am very close to. I also don't like raising my hand in class to answer something, even if class participation was a big part of my grade.

I think this sheltering is part of what made me a brat - I was not exposed to social situations even young (no preschool or daycare or anything), so I had no idea how to behave in an environment more structured than home. That's why I cannot stand when Moos do this home-schooling and un-schooling shit - their brats are not only being gently-disciplined and attachment-parented and extended-breastfed and all that shit, but they won't have peers who can maybe instill some semblance of manners in them either. The only role models they have are Moo, Moo and Moo. No wonder those kids are so fucked in the head.

I had authoritarian parents. I would have gotten the shit kicked out of me if I was a brat. Same for all of my friends growing up.

I was a very rebellious teenager, and my mother allowed me to fall, very ungracefully, on my face and suffer the consequences without offering a drop of help. Good for her, I say, all of these years later. 'Twas a lesson learned.

If I was a parent, I would probably be very strict.

When I was very, very little, yes, I was a brat. Whiny, didn't like to share, not open to other people's ideas/ways. That stopped pretty quickly when my old man had enough and doled out some wicked punishment. Then I became the nicest kid in my neighborhood.

If I could put this on a bumper, I would: "Discipline. IT WORKS."

Fat, bookish, loved fantasy movies. In other words, whipped into submission. Then Duh decided that working was a pain when I was 11, and all bets were off. I stole money, destroyed property, cursed the adults out, didn't feel like doing homework or school projects, and upon turning 14 I became a screaming bitch. I had health side effects because of this as well, undiagnosed PCOS, eating disorder, would get sick with a cold/bronchitis at the drop of a hat, started hard drinking liquor at 16 (primarily to combat the freezer my house became when Mom's brother turned off the heat as gramps lay dying), and got myself socialized pretty late in my HS years. No dating, all were ghetto rejects, and I was NOT the desperate fat white girl they ASSumed I was. I abused diet pills, cold meds, hycodan, sleeping pills, diuretics, liquor and food until woke up four years ago. I'm hardly straight edge (and I still like my hycodan syrup) but I'm not what I used to be. Mom paid off $44k worth of Duh's credit debt WITH NO HELP FROM GRANDMOO (she first promised she'd help, but then pissed away $345k- 85% of her life savings- to buy her dead mom's house to use it as a hoarding facility and told us to go fuck ourselves) so now we use her credit card to pay for our new furniture, clothes, medicine, necessary hygeine products, even food and cleaning products. If her last $100k goes down the drain, we're dragging her ass to Fidelity to take out money from her numerous IRAs that are doing well. Her schizoid golden son will have to pony up on the taxes (Mom did it with her IRAs so we could survive and that's why we're flat broke). After all they get bushels of tax cash, and Mom gets $1500. Those bitches will be helping me and bro with school if schizoid wants us out. Grandmoo will just spiral out of control with her codependency, and schizoid will be forced to deal- after all we have him by the balls. Pics of him not wearing proper attire CAN get him fired from his MTA job and he got himself into an accident because of it; illegal breaker box attached to the electricity meter making their bills so agreeable; and asbestos in their hoarding house basement, HUD would love to see my photography, wouldn't you agree?

I was pretty good, too good by some standards..... Kids will always have a brat or fit moment no matter how good they are. Waaay to unpredictable for my tastes.

My sister on the other hand is my polar opposite.....a hell raiser on wheels w/ steroids on top of that. I never knew what the princpals office actually looked like, she on the other hand had a season pass to the damn place.

By all accounts I was very well behaved the vast majority of the time. I was bookish and much preferred studying to sports, didn't have many friends (but was close to the ones I had), and took such good care of my things that anyone who has ever seen my childhood toys can't believe I actually played with them. In all honesty, I think I'm more of a brat now than I was as a kid.

That said, the older I got the more I had to deal with harassment and bullying from my classmates, so had I wound up in the local public middle school or high school there is no telling how I might have turned out. Probably would have snapped and tried to beat someone up in retaliation.

I don't see myself as a brat, but I reacted to the mixed message parenting I recieved as a kid. I did really well up until age 13. When I asked for help with homework I was screamed at and slapped in the face. If I failed a class I was screamed at and slapped in the face. The examples I remember most are being told I can't have a ride home from my boyfriend's house, but if I called a taxi I'd best be able to pay for it. (We couldn't drive and when I did call a taxi once, I got bitched out for a week). Boyfriend and I were both fifteen at the time. I was not allowed to drive while I lived in my mother's house. I paid for driver's ed myself with money from my part time mcjob, but I needed practice time my parents refused to give me. If I paid the school extra for the practice time I was wasting money and got screamed at for that too. If I had friends over I would be told I or they had done something wrong and that I shouldn't see them again. After school stuff was out of the question for me because my high school was out in the middle of nowhere by itself. But who chose the school district??? At seventeen I finally started calling my mother out on her favortism. My school shopping was done at KMart but my younger brother's was done at the outlet stores. At sixteen my brothers were given cars but I had to beg for a bus pass. My mother started calling it middle child syndrome but the numerous counselors moo dragged me to told her outright she was playing favorites and that I needed more from her. In the middle of all this moo was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and spent time in and out of pysch wards. During moo's crazy time she decided psych drugs would help me too and I got dragged to numerous shrinks because she thought I had some disorder those drugs would cure but all I got were nasty side effects. Another factor in all of this was older brother going to state prison for check fraud. I got randomly bitched out for "being just like Dusty". I wasn't just like Dusty I was just getting screamed at and slapped out of the bule for slights either real or imagined. Is it any wonder I don't want kids or that I haven't spoken to moo in close to four years and if I ever do it will be way too fucking soon???

ETA: Middle Child Syndrome is some thing my mother came up with to explain why I didn't get the time and effort my brothers did. I always thought it was a cop out on her part. She might actually have bipolar disorder but I always thought it was another excuse to be selfish, get attention and play her pissy little games.

I was a quiet, almost mute, well-mannered child ... except when it came to my brother and school.

Our mother ignored the death matches my brother and I pulled, but she had a thing about children begging for stuff they did not need. If we begged for the latest video game after being told no the first time, we got smacks, neck twists and preached at about Susan Smith.

I was a sarcastic know-it-all until high school. My mouth was so incorrigible that some teachers requested a classroom change for themselves or for me to transfer to a different room. By high school I quit trying to make public enemy number one and reverted back to my mute status. Depression had a large part on that one but my point is while I did do some stupid moves, I was for the most part an okay kid.

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Cambion
That's why I cannot stand when Moos do this home-schooling and un-schooling shit - their brats are not only being gently-disciplined and attachment-parented and extended-breastfed and all that shit, but they won't have peers who can maybe instill some semblance of manners in them either. The only role models they have are Moo, Moo and Moo. No wonder those kids are so fucked in the head.

I agree entirely.

I was "homeschooled" and I have no idea how to deal with people. It's not entirely unrelated to thinking they are 90% morons and generally not worth the effort, but it probably would have helped if I'd had some social situations with people my own age.

As for being a brat... no, I don't think so. I refused point blank to learn maths and the piano which led to my parents giving up on the idea of teaching me anything (thank goodness for public libraries) but that's the only real bratty thing I can think of doing.
My parents stoner friends tended to complain I was too quiet and sensible.

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thursdaynext

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Cambion
That's why I cannot stand when Moos do this home-schooling and un-schooling shit - their brats are not only being gently-disciplined and attachment-parented and extended-breastfed and all that shit, but they won't have peers who can maybe instill some semblance of manners in them either. The only role models they have are Moo, Moo and Moo. No wonder those kids are so fucked in the head.

I agree entirely.

I was "homeschooled" and I have no idea how to deal with people. It's not entirely unrelated to thinking they are 90% morons and generally not worth the effort, but it probably would have helped if I'd had some social situations with people my own age.

As for being a brat... no, I don't think so. I refused point blank to learn maths and the piano which led to my parents giving up on the idea of teaching me anything (thank goodness for public libraries) but that's the only real bratty thing I can think of doing.
My parents stoner friends tended to complain I was too quiet and sensible.

I didn't learn how to deal with people in school, quite the contrary, I only learned to despise them more. I would have loved going to an online high school, so I wouldn't have to deal with the idiots who verbally, physically, and sexually harassed me 5 days a week.

As for being a brat, I don't think I was. I was the kind of kid you could stick in his room by himself and he wouldn't bother anyone the whole day. There was a time when my mother actually bragged about how she could put her kids in a room and they could entertain themselves for hours.

The one major conflict we had was when I wanted nothing to do with swimming, and they wanted me to learn to love it and eventually be on a swim team. I fought them every step of the way on that, even for the one summer they banned me from everything but swimming, I still maintained my belief that I had a right to have my own preferences of activities. My melodramatic mother would often rant about how awful it was I didn't want to swim, and how bad she had it because of that. Compared to other stuff I've read, I don't think having a kid who'd rather stay in his room than go swimming is so bad.

JD

I was an intelligent and funny kid and everyone loved me.

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!