The Childfree Christian

KidlessKim, it seems as tho churches are really just cliquish social clubs. So much for the worship and glorifying our Lord.

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lab mom

Former Christian here. Independent Baptist stripe.

I left for a lot of reasons, they were spiritually abusive and the excessive pushing of Quiverfull/natalism was a huge part of that.

Twiga did a childfree Christian thread that is still active. I posted there a couple of times, the first time in 2006.

http://twiga92.wordpress.com/on-being-christian-and-childfree/

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mumofsixbirds
I was raised in a Roman Catholic famblee, but now I am more spiritual than religious. My famblee are all a bunch of crazed loons, who think that because they go to church, they can act like jerks from Monday through Saturday.

.

The last time I went to confession was to this guy

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/nationnow/2012/01/las-vegas-priest-gambling-addict-sentenced-prison.html


He was a complete and utter asshole. Haven't been back since. With the abuse scandals, this kind of stuff and the memories of the attack penguins and bullies - fix their own house first.

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“There are three things all wise men fear: the sea in storm, a night with no moon, and the anger of a gentle man.”

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nullipar-tay

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Shiny
Yes, they DO exist!

I'm one. :redface I share the author's inclination to avoid talking about my religious beliefs on childfree boards or forums, though. Teh haterade, it flow-eth.

+1

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me

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nullipar-tay

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Shiny
Yes, they DO exist!

I'm one. :redface I share the author's inclination to avoid talking about my religious beliefs on childfree boards or forums, though. Teh haterade, it flow-eth.

+1

actually, it's NICE to have a place to be able to vent about the downside of religion without being treated like I'm satan.

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lab mom

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nullipar-tay
It was so bad that the minister, a queer woman, stopped me. She looked out into the rows of people until she made eye contact with the handler, and said loudly, "Really? You've had three of these, and you still don't know what to do at this point?"

The woman bolted with the squaller immediately, but the prayer was ruined. Still, have to give props to the minister on that one...

I would like to take the minister to lunch! I like to see breeders get put in their places.

I was raised as a Baptist (not the woman hating Southern Baptists though). I got tired of the sexism and the fact that I wasn't "supposed" to ask questions. I searched other religions like Buddhism and Hinduism in my late teens. I never really found what I was looking for....I'm still searching. Christians act worse than Satanists. I am so sick of them.

That led me to this (the following is one of the comments at another site):

http://blisstree.com/live/childfree-by-choice-why-is-so-hard-to-believe-i-wont-change-my-mind/

"Good for you to defend your decision. I am SO sick of people shoving their right to have children in everyone’s face. If you choose to and can legitimately AFFORD to have children in a city like NY or LA or anywhere where women don’t have to give up their identity to procreate you should by all means do it. But so many people defined their illogical selfish choices with blanket statements such as 'We’ll figure it out', 'It’s NEVER a good time' and similar ridiculous thoughts. To me that’s the same as charging Birkin on your credit card. It’s not going to figure itself out! Would you buy a 50K car on credit? A 3K purse? Well a baby is MUCH more expensive.
I was with my husbands male friend the other day who was talking about adopting a second kid, and I was quiet shocked because he always complains about how expensive the first one is and how he’s always struggling to make ends meet. His logic? Well his wife wants a second baby. That just sound SELFISH. Why make everyone suffer, including the first child because she 'wants' a second kid. I mean WHY? You can’t afford your first."

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kidlesskim
I had a similarly sour experience with my last husband's Episcopal church. I gave church people another go after 15 years away and occasionally went to services and other functions, but more importantly I volunteered every year at one of their elderly homes to cater a birthday luncheon, including "entertainment", for 75 or so people. Although I wasn't a member of their church, I also sent breakfast trays to them every couple of weeks for the members to enjoy before Sunday school. Anyway, I had a serious, spend a month in a hospital, type of illness which in addition to being a devastating brain anuerysim, I wasn't able to drive for 6 months either and they were ALL aware of it. Other than being told by my inlaws how I was on their prayer list and a handful of "get well soon" cards, NO ONE called or even bothered to bring a crock pot of soup over.

I have no idea just what the protocol is in church communities in preventing sad situations like that.

However, it reminds me of how, in MANY situations, you practically have to ask for reciprocity in writing if you don't want to be exploited. Or at least you have to ask for something immediately after they ask you for something - or after you volunteer without their asking. Otherwise, it's too easy for people to start thinking you don't really want or expect anything in return - or NEED anything, even in an emergency.

As Mary Boleyn's father told her when she was cast aside by Henry VIII for her sister Anne: "You gave him everything and asked for nothing."

Never assume anyone has any spontaneous sense of gratitude.

And I also found this:

http://blisstree.com/live/i-went-through-hell-to-get-my-tubes-tied-131/3/

"How I Finally Got My Tubes Tied: 4 Stories From Real Women"

The link above tells the story of a Southern woman who had a LOT of trouble finding a non-hostile doctor.