My MIL dresses like a streetwalker-From Dear Abby

DEAR ABBY: I am an educated woman in my late 20s. I have been married for several years to a wonderful man, and we were recently blessed with our first child.

Since our wedding, my relationship with my mother-in-law has been an evolving one. Since the inception of "Desperate Housewives" on TV, she seems to believe she's a character on the show. She trots around in revealing clothing looking like a streetwalker. She spends most of her time gossiping with her newfound buddies who are half her age, and who seem to delight in dressing her up to make her the talk of the town.

As a little girl, when I dreamed of how my life would be as a married woman, it was never like this. My dreams never included a MIL who enjoys seeing people look at her in disbelief as she struts across the room. I don't want this to be an example for my daughter. Confronting her doesn't work -- she responds with guilt and mockery. In other words, she always wins. I'm at a loss and have given up trying to figure her out. Please help. -- DESPERATE HOUSEWIFE

DEAR DESPERATE: As an educated woman, it's time for you to smarten up and accept your mother-in-law for the "character" she is -- warts and all. You were wrong to expect her to fulfill the fantasy role you created for her. She's not ready to do it -- and she may never be.

The way she dresses will not influence your daughter; you will do that. Your mother-in-law's attire is a reflection only on her, not you. Remember that. If she is so youthful in spirit that she has been accepted by a younger group of women, stop judging her and perhaps even learn from it. She's not over the hill yet. So stop trying to push her there, and you'll both be happier.

Desperate Housewife sounds awfully naive for being so educated--as a little girl, when I dreamed of how my life would be as a married woman, it was never like this--who walks around with such sparkly little fantasies of how perfect their life will be? Probably the same kind of idiot who confronts her MIL about how she dresses like a streetwalker.

I'd rather have a MIL who dresses like a hooker than one who is a nagging, bitching pain in the ass.

Her MIL is a grown woman, so she can dress however she wants. I don't know what the MIL looks like - maybe things are sagging out of place and her attire looks very unflattering, but still, her choice. If Moo is so concerned with it influencing her daughter, then she can do that one thing...ohh, what's it called...oh yeah! TALK to her daughter about why dressing like a whore is not appropriate for a child, but that MIL is a grown-up and she can make her own choices about what she wears. Not tell MIL to change her life so Moo doesn't have to do her job.

Just goes to show you that being educated doesn't always mean you're smart.

Desperate Housewife also sounds jealous that MIL has friends and an active social life. Life is supposed to revolve around the grandbabies, dontcha know.

Moo probably stopped bathing, gained 75 pounds and wears her hair in a ponytail, and is jealous of her MIL. Maybe she's afraid her husband will go back to live with mother.

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"[GFG's pregnancy is] kind of like at the stables where that one dumb, ugly-ass mare broke out of her corral one day and got herself screwed by the equally fugly colt that was due to be gelded the same afternoon."- Shiny

Do these moos really daydream and fantasize about the lifescript, MIL and all, as children?! How odd.

Her letter reeks of jealousy, envy, and just pure entitlement. Stupid moo bitch.

DIL is pissed that everyone isn't following her imagined version of the Lifescript, exactly as she wants them to. Sounds like she needs to be beaten with a Clue Bat,and told that everyone gets to live their lives as they choose, as long as they don't hurt anyone else, or break the law.
Sounds like MIL has raised her brats to adulthood, and now she wants to enjoy her life. Who cares if she dresses sexy? At least she cares about her appeance...sounds like DIL is a little jealous of MIL's fun, sociable lifestyle.

Misery loves company and I guess Moo always fantasized that her MIL would be just as miserable as she is, shlepping after her and her brats.

But MIL has gotten a life and is having fun - and in typical breeder fashion, Moo has to try to pull her back down into the wallow.

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Miss_Hannigan
Moo probably stopped bathing, gained 75 pounds and wears her hair in a ponytail, and is jealous of her MIL. Maybe she's afraid her husband will go back to live with mother.

Yep. MIL sounds like a charismatic person who isn't afraid to flaunt some flair, however it may appear to other people. More power to her! DIL sounds like a dowdy mommy in sweatpants and a stained T-shirt. She could take a lesson from someone who doesn't give a hoot about what other people think.

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Tiquer
Desperate Housewife also sounds jealous that MIL has friends and an active social life. Life is supposed to revolve around the grandbabies, dontcha know.

Just what I was thinking. Moo is pissed off that Grandma has her own life and isn't kneeling at the altar of bayyybeeee.

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mistress rotwang
I'd rather have a MIL who dresses like a hooker than one who is a nagging, bitching pain in the ass.

Cold-hearted complete bitch that I am, I have to say I have the best kind of mother-in-law. She was long dead before I even met my husband Tony. The only nagging, bitching, whining or complaining comes from people that we don't give a fuck about at all.

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mistress rotwang
I'd rather have a MIL who dresses like a hooker than one who is a nagging, bitching pain in the ass.

This.

Moo sounds jealous. She probably "ate for 2" and now has the ass size of 2.

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What is a home without children? Quiet. ~Henny Youngman

I don't want people who want to dance, I want people who have to dance. ~George Balanchine

"I took the batteries out of my biological clock and put them in my vibrator"

You know how some people are. A sleeveless top, a skirt above your knee and any shoe other than sneakers or flip-flops is "dressing like a streetwalker" to them. Maybe MIL got out of an unhappy marriage and works really hard to have a figure she's proud of (no matter what other people think of it).

This woman is just resentful that someone 20-something years older than she is gets to go out and par-tay while she has to stay home, shackled to a breast pump. "I'm the New Mommy! Everyone's supposed to pay attention to me, not you! Besides, you can't stay out late, you're supposed to come over and babysit Chloe Annabelle so I can go to the gym and then sit around in a coffeeshop with my friends for two hours and talk about how exhausted we all are."

Moo feels threatened. End of story. MIL might be twice her age but MIL looks a hell of a lot better than she ever will.

"...As a little girl, when I dreamed of how my life would be as a married woman, it was never like this. My dreams never included a MIL who enjoys seeing people look at her in disbelief as she struts across the room...."


Herein lies the problem. I don't believe I have ever heard the get married, white picket fence, and have a baby fantasy include the detail of how the mother in law would look, act, or behave too! While this Moo's fantasies are a bit more detailed than the average, they aren't any less delusional. Predictably, she tosses in how she is concerned for her daughter which is nothing more than the typical Moo banter designed to gain "points" for her complaint. This mother in law was likely a disappointment and shattered her fantasy from the very beginning, but now that she has shat the almighty loaf she thinks it lends credence to her MIL disillusionment.

It's pretty obvious to me this is the MOO'S problem and has nothing to do with the way MIL dresses or acts, which is very likely exaggerated.:BS

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

Dear Abby:

Since I was a child, I have had very detailed delusional fantasies about my potential future life.

I prescribed precisely how everyone in my pretend adult life would look and behave right down to their cute little conservative outfits.

Now that I am 'grown up' the real people in my life will not always look and act like the pretend people from my imaginative childhood.

What is wrong with these people?

I spent decades of effort creating the details of their roles and I am not getting enough appreciation for my efforts.

How can I force them to do my bidding?

- Desperate Housewife